While researching an answer about attire for another thread, I came across this DBA-Oracle Dress Codes site which talks about dress codes for jobs, etc.
Please look at the pictures and read some of this stuff and tell me if it is for real. One paragraph for men goes as following:
Women, don’t feel left out:
Is this serious?
I am suprised you would need to ask. I would say no although they probably would frown on some of those things if an employee were to walk in with say, completely unwashed and wild hair or an extreme monobrow.
I had to look three times at the site. The whole time I was saying that this has to be a joke, but the rest of the site seems so serious. Hmm.
While most of the site is patched with obvious attempts at humor, is this real? Can you PrepH your eyebags?
When I was a recruiter in the Marines, we would have to have some kids do a body fat tape test. To make their wastes a little thinner, we would rub Preperation H all over their stomachs, wrap them in saran wrap, and keep them that way as long as possible.
Look at the pic of Donald Burleson…he looks like he’s been snorting Preparation H.
:eek:
Now, their waists I could understand…
It looks like they’re deadly serious about their staff looking impeccable. I’ve not met Mr. Burleson, but he is very well-known in the Oracle community. They’ve just taken it to comic extreme, but it’s hard to tell where comic ends (no neanderthal eyebrows) and where they mean it. (Mirror-polished black shoes, Corfam shoes are unacceptable)
Seems he wants his firm to be known as the Men In Black.
Women:
“No pants allowed, ever. The [skirt] suit must be dark blue, gray or charcoal.”
I recognize he’s playing it as safely as he can, but this just sounds like catering to some 99-year-old CEO demographic. No, sir - women don’t wear trousers here!
If you look at the bottom of the left-hand column, you’ll see a set of links labelled Fun. One of them links to this page. Chances are this is their attempt at corporate humor. Plus, looking at the picture of Mike Ault on the Home Page, I’d guess they’re not that strict with the rulings listed here about toupees. Steve Karam’s working the monobrow pretty good, too.
How on earth can anyone not think that this is a skit? I mean, you did read the bit about Bush? Or the bit about Scottish clans?
Seems a happy and fun place to work.
I had a meeting with someone from such a consulting firm who’d just arrived at LAX, from Heathrow, and was wearing a suit because it was a company rule. Given how people usually dress when they fly these days, he must have been the only one so attired on that entire plane.
Clearly, you guys have never done any conslutting work for financial institutions. The überconservative show-no-sign-of-individuality dress code is mandatory. While his prose style is bombastic and harsh, his guidelines are, in fact, what is expected in that environment (along with the Bush adulation, of course).
Stranger
(whose employers are just glad he doesn’t show up in a kilt)
He looks like an Oompa-Loompa.
Absolutely. Read the very last part:
This isn’t the dress code for Oracle per se, it’s the dress code for their consultants when they’re out visiting clients, but written in a humorous way.
When you’re trying to convince companies that they should put the fate of millions or billions of dollars in your hands, you want to look as serious and businesslike as humanly possible. You shouldn’t be an individual – you should be a ruthless machine concerned with absolutely nothing but increasing the client’s money, and these guidelines help create that image.
True. My slutting was always on the up and up.
That is one of the most excellent typos I have ever seen.
It’s actually not a dress code for Oracle at all. On second look please note that this is not Oracle’s web site, it’s a consulting firm that specializes in Oracle database support. Their web site says Oracle all over it, though.
Very hard to think this is serious with that kind of language on a *public * web site. Reads like The Onion. You can’t let your client see you in a blue shirt, but you can let them read “ass cream” on your web site. Great.
The author apparently knows how to dress but failed math.
The problem with something written like this it’s a little hard to find the line between the humor and the real stuff. Certainly there are folks who would find every single line laughable.
I find it outrageously hysterical, but it seems like an official site with a nice attempt at humor. But, it seems like a legit company, right?
So, legit (with humor), or a total joke? I have no clue.