I pit my fucking fairyland-living roommate!

The BBQ Pit
1

I put up with you moronic questions, theories, and lack of basic skills required to live on your own. Just to sum up what I’ve taught you the past few months:

-Squirrels do live in Florida, not just up north;

-Tires have air in them, and you should check it regularly. Yes, this means that when you have a flat tire there is not just a “dent” in the rubber;

-Rabbits are not just pets, in fact I would venture to say most are in the wild;

-You can’t keep the air on 60 fucking degrees unless you want to pay the fucking outrageous bill, or alternatively, deal with the a/c freezing up;

-Yes you dumbass, you can find rocks outside, you don’t have to buy them at the store!!!

There are many, many more, but it hurts my head and actually drops my IQ to keep recounting them. (As an aside, I swear to the readers that each of these things has happened, I don’t think I could make this stuff up.) I dealt with all of this because you have been a good friend to me in the two years I’ve known you, I had every reason to believe you are basically a good person all-around, and I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. In the past two and a half months we’ve had our apartment, you have also been a good roommate, save throwing out some of my food without telling me. As of yesterday, I no longer believe these things about you.

You came in and decided to tell me that you want to get an apartment with your boyfriend (Shawn), and another couple (Sarah and John) that you know. This would be effective next fucking month, with you knowing that you and I have a year lease. You expected me to be fine with this! :eek: I explained–and rather calmly I might add-- that if you did this I would have no roommate, and that I know no one looking for an apartment, because everyone I know goes to school up here and already has somewhere to live!

You left the room and I called a mutual friend to see if you had spewed this nonsense on anyone else, and to confirm that they told you it was a horrible idea, as I was sure any sane person would state. Nope our dumbass friend said that you “need to do what makes [you] happy!” Umm what the fuck? This dumbass also said that maybe I should post signs to find someone to live with me. No, sorry I’m not living with someone I don’t know and risk getting robbed and a myriad of other problems just so my fuckwit of a roommate can follow her fucking heart and be happy!

So roommate, listen up and see if you can get this through your fucking amoeba that you try to pass off as a functioning brain: You have known your boyfriend Shawn for five months, and only been dating him for two. You’ve known the other couple for less than that. Any rational person would avoid getting into a legal, binding contract in a situation like that. Which brings me to my next point. We have one of those legal, binding contracts! It’s called a fucking lease! And it’s for an entire year! Not for three months or until you get a new boyfriend or until the seasons change or however long your little pixie-dust-filled heart wishes it to be!

If you try and screw me on this, legal action WILL be taken against you! I don’t care if you told our mutual friend, “I don’t want to lose our friendship,” if you try and go through with this, what the hell did you think my reaction would be? “Oh yeah I’m out a roommate and $600 a month, but that’s cool, we’re still BFF?” Maybe when Satan and Old Man winter have a love child that is pronouced ruler of the universe and freezes every lava lake in Hell and the devil himself mans the counter that rents the ice skates!

In short, whether you know it or not, you live in the real world and have to act accordingly. Grow the fuck up, bitch!

2

But what did she need the rocks for?

3

But is she hot though?

4

Nothing destroys a friendship faster than living together.

5

My guess is cranial balast, as she lost her marbles…

6

Hold the phone – she thought that the only place you could get rocks is a the store?

There’s got to be more to the story than that. Please spill.

And I’d inform your landlord that your roommate, and not you, is going to try to break the lease.

7

She wanted the rocks to destroy some jeans, lol.

And yes, she is hot, which is how she’s been able to survive this long.

And I had heard many times that nothing destroys a friendship faster than living together. Some backstory I did not include was that we did basically live together (there were other roommates then) for almost a year before we actually got our own apartment. During that time, everything was fine, so I assumed that if there were no problems in the first year, us having our own apartment would be no problem. And like I said in the OP, as a roommate she is ok, as far as typical roommate problems go. In fact we have had no fights at all since moving into this apartment, this plan of hers was completely out of the blue. From what I understand she just wants to live with her boyfriend and his friends, and that there is no specific problem that she has with me. Which I think pisses me off the most, because if we fought all the time or something, I would maybe understand where she was coming from.

8

so, whose name is on the lease? Yours, hers, or both? This could make a big difference in how you are able to deal with this legally.

9

This is my question too. If her name is on the lease and she wants to pay $600 a month for your apartment and live somewhere else – sounds like a great set-up for you! (Yeah, I know that’s not how it will work out.)

10

tdn, there’s really not more to the rock story than that. She’s just completely unaware of the world around her apparently.

11

I’m sorry for making all these posts, my connections running slowly and it’s taking me a couple minutes for each post to process.

But to answer, both of our names are on the lease. So she can’t really do much to screw me, right? That’s part of the reason I posted this. This is only my second apartment and second lease, so I really don’t know where I stand. I assumed that since she is on the lease too, that should safeguard me in some way.

12

Here is a previous thread about a similar situation. You may want to take a copy of the lease and have a lawyer look at it to find out exactly what your legal options are.

Good luck.

13

Well, what do you expect when you live in Disney World?

It’s a small world after all,
It’s a small world after all,
It’s a small world after all,
It’s a small, small world!

14

Gotcha on the rock story.

Here is my legal advice. Keep in mind that I have been edumacated by both Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown. So what follows is the absolute law of the land. (NOT!)

If she skips out, she is beholden to you for the rent. However, you are beholden to your landlord. You are responsible for all $1200 of the rent. If you don’t pay it you could face eviction. Yes, you would also have a legal claim against ditzgirl, but by the time that actually gets to court, you may already be out on the street.

Now, can a real lawyer weigh in on this?

15

Since your friend is clueless, is it possible she is unaware of the term “breaking the lease” and the legal consequences thereof?

Maybe if you use small words and pictures drawn in crayon it might seep into her thick skull.

16

Unfortunately, if she doesn’t pay, and you don’t pay, then the landlord may still try to evict you or sue you. He’s not getting the full rent, he may be better off evicting you and renting to someone who can actually pay.

If you suck up the additional cost, you should be able to go after her for the remaining money, but it will be a royal pain, and you may never actually get the money. It depends on how much of a deadbeat she wants to be.

All of this, of course, is dependant on your local laws, and the fine print of your lease. Maybe you should head to the library or bookstore and see if you can bone up on what your rights and responsibilities are.

17

As an amusing(?) anecdote, I lived in a place with two roomates, and we had an agreement – If one person moved out, he would have to find a replacement roommate. This was a Very Bad idea. The person moving out had absolutely no stake in finding someone who, say, showered.

Yes, those were interesting times indeed.

18

I just Googled on “florida tenancy laws” and got more hits than I’m willing to link to here. It’s all on the web.

19

Thank you for the advice everyone. I’m having a talk with her about this when she gets home in a couple of hours, and I’ll fully know what I’m dealing with then. I really just needed to scream about this somewhere, because I was in a state of shock last night when she brought this up. I needed to hear feelings about this from sensible people. Living with a dumbass can mess with your head and patience a little bit, y’know?

And I probably could come up with the extra money (but it wouldn’t be easy), so I know I most likely won’t end up getting sued by the landlord. I will make it absolutely clear to my roommate that if she wants to break the lease I will be reading up on my rights, contacting a lawyer, and if need be I will not hesitate to sue her for the lost money.

As I said, this was out of the blue, which is just adding to my anger. She had always been a really good friend, and we even had a vacation planned for June. Looks like I might have to reevaluate those plans now.

20

I did have a roomate in college who decided to live with his girlfriend. He paid his portion of the rent at our place, and was never there. Kinda nice, really! Best of luck to you…