All right, adults, 'fess up!

[Clothahump]

How many of you are going to join me in scaring the snot out of kids on Halloween?

I usually sit out front in costume and terrify the little buggers as they come up to the door. If traffic is slow, I'll stalk the neighborhood looking for them. SWMBO just sits inside with the TV volume turned up loud enough to drown out the screams, and accuses me of causing the next generation of axe murderers here in Houston because of the mental trauma I induce.

Hey, it's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it, right? How many of you are volunteering to do it in your home town?

[Manatee]

I'll be doing up my garage as a haunted house again (well, more of a haunted hall and room rather than a full house). My sister and her daughter are coming to help, and my five year-old will probably pitch in once he's back from trick or treating. It's mostly a "jump and yell BOO!" kind of haunt, with creepy music, moderate lighting effects, a fog machine, and some skeleton and bone decorations.

I look at haunting my house as upholding my end of the social contract.

[Nava]

We don't celebrate Halloween in Spain, really. But whenever Dad saw someone whining about "violent movies and videogames" and suchlike, he'd say "you know, Auntie Eufemia would put myself and the siblings to sleep by reading us the Deaths of the Martyrs, and while I'm not going to claim that we're normal, I don't think any of us is a psychopath." So I don't think our esteemed OP is going to be responsible for any crime waves, sorry.

[ScareyFaerie]

I'd love to scare the local kids but we don't have many that understand English to know what's going on. Oh, the joys of living in immigrant-central. Instead, I contented myself with putting up my hallowe'en tree yesterday, much to the cat's delight. She has something new to climb, new toys to play with and I fully expect to get home and find the tree down on the floor with all the decorations scattered around the house.

I won't be home on hallowe'en night though, a group of us are off to the theatre for the Rocky Horror Show...our outfits should be enough to scare the locals!

[Shrinking Violet]

ScareyFaerie ... what's a hallowe'en tree?

[Tom Ripley]

I just put razor blades in their apples.

[Lobelia Overhill]

Years ago I was at a friend's house at Halloween, every time I answered the door to the kiddies I "screamed in terror" at their frightening costumes - apparently having a 6'2" woman screaming in terror when she opens the door to kiddies dressed in scary outfits was cause for someone to threaten to call the Gardai...

[ScareyFaerie]

Shrinking Violet, my hallowe'en tree is pretty much like a christmas tree except that it's for hallowe'en! Many years ago I was given a 1metre tall live christmas tree by a friend determined to get me into the festive spirit. Afterwards, I left the tree outside until it died, spray-painted it matt black and turned into the perfect hallowe'en accessory.

It gets decorated with little bats, pumpkins, broomsticks and anything else I can find for it, and instead of a fairy it's got a witch on top.

I don't celebrate the festival of commercialism, spookiness is much more my scene.

[The Octagon]

Last year I hid behind the corner and let my girlfriend answer the door. She'd start off with the 'oh you're so cute' and start giving out candy while I'd let out a good blood curdling scream in the background. Ooh, I've gotta get a pumpkin.

[Kalhoun]

Oh, how I miss the days when I actually had little ones coming to the door begging for candy. We'd play "Careful With That Axe, Eugene", really loud, and revel in the sound of crying children. Too fun.

[Cluricaun]

I haven't gotten to do this in a few years, but we used to make a "body" out of old jeans and a flannel shirt stuffed with newspapers and then a mask and some gloves to finish him off, and sit him in a chair on the porch. I got tired of our "body" getting trashed, so I dressed up in those clothes one year, stuffed some newspaper in my shirt and out my sleeves and such and possibly permanently scarred some teenagers. That was just so much damned fun.

[lieu]

My F-I-L takes great pride in making some portion of trick-or-treaters pee the sidewalk.

[Kizarvexius]

A Halloween without at least one terrified trick-or-treater is enough to ruin my whole year.

It's astonishing how easily some people get freaked out. Back when I was married, every year I would dress up in one of my renaissance costumes and stand by the front sidewalk, as still as possible. As a party of victims -- I mean trick-or-treaters -- approached, I'd swing my arm, in a motion designed to look as artificial as possible, to point toward the front door, where my wife was waiting with the candy bowl. My face, my hands and my feet were all visible, and yet an unbelievable number of people -- kids and parents alike -- kept their distance, stared at me, and argued amongst themselves as to whether I was "real". What made it especially fun was when some one or other decided I was merely a mannequin and walked on by. Only to have me make a sudden motion that they caught out of the corner of their eye. I had several grownups scream and drop their kids' candy bags.

[slortar]

Bah, scaring the kids takes away valuable time I could be spending scarfing down candy.

[Quartz]

Oh yes! Think Phantom of the Opera-goer .

[Duckster]

I came up with this idea too late for Halloween this year.

Why not make an all-black (or nearly so) Ghille Suit and sit in the shadows outside near the door. When the little urchins ring the doorbell, greet them from behind.

The Shadow Knows!!!

[Valgard]

Originally Posted by Cluricaun

I haven't gotten to do this in a few years, but we used to make a "body" out of old jeans and a flannel shirt stuffed with newspapers and then a mask and some gloves to finish him off, and sit him in a chair on the porch. I got tired of our "body" getting trashed, so I dressed up in those clothes one year, stuffed some newspaper in my shirt and out my sleeves and such and possibly permanently scarred some teenagers. That was just so much damned fun.

I did exactly that when I was in high school. Sat there with my dad's enormous woodaxe. Couple of girls walked up onto the porch, stared at me for a few seconds debating whether I was real or not, decided I was fake (thanks to bits of newspaper coming out of gloves and whatnot), then turned their backs to me and rang the doorbell.

Right as my mom opened the door I stood up and roared. Probably going to cost me a few years in purgatory but good lord it was hilarious. I just about wet myself.

Might do something like that next year, this year it's jack-o-lanterns, fake spider webs, creepy porch lights and a bunch of flourescent decorations, including a neon orange skull mask with a major 1984 Motley Crue kinda hairdo (also flourescent). Big black light will be hung over my doorway so when I open the door it'll look like the Highlighter Demon. Got to be careful to adjust the fright factor to the audience, no sense traumatizing 6 year olds. Let me at those brave teenagers though :-)

[elfkin477]

This will be the fifth Halloween I've been a volunteer at my best friend's parents' house to scare the kids. Her older sister and brother-in-law usually come to scare too. Anyway, her parents' house is known as the scary house so we've got a rep to uphold

My personal best scare involved the simplest of costumes: a roll of gauze and some fake blood. After wrapping my "head wound" I got into the back of a pickup truck and drapped myself, belly down. Then, when older kids came by - only a few noticed me before I spoke - I'd beg them to get me help because my friend hit me in the head with a shovel and wouldn't take me to the hospital. As they tried to make up their minds about helping, she'd come chase them around. Apparently this is very scary. Bwahahahaha.


ftr, my parents have a halloween tree too. It's a branch sunk into a pot of rocks with real cobwebs (they keep in the basement) and decorated with halloween ornaments.

[Runs With Scissors]

Originally Posted by elfkin477

My personal best scare involved the simplest of costumes: a roll of gauze and some fake blood. After wrapping my "head wound" I got into the back of a pickup truck and drapped myself, belly down. Then, when older kids came by - only a few noticed me before I spoke - I'd beg them to get me help because my friend hit me in the head with a shovel and wouldn't take me to the hospital. As they tried to make up their minds about helping, she'd come chase them around. Apparently this is very scary. Bwahahahaha.

I've been reading all these Halloween threads for a few days now with barely a "meh" escaping my lips.

Until tonight.

Fuck, that's funny.

[Kat]

Remember to wear your cup.

[Walloon]

Originally Posted by Shrinking Violet

ScareyFaerie ... what's a hallowe'en tree?

(a) a 1960 painting by Ray Bradbury.
(b) a 1972 young adult fantasy novel by Ray Bradbury.
(c) an Emmy Award-winning 1993 adaptation of the novel.
(d) either of two art prints by John Randall York.
(e) an even more evocative art print by Mike Hoffman.
(f) numerous commercially made decorative trees.