Deer! Deer! Shit!

[Kalhoun]

So...Mr. K hit a deer on the way home from Bizarro World last night. He said it happened so fast that he wasn't quite sure what happened until he was down the road a piece.

There's an antler- or hoof-shaped hole in the windshield, the driver's side headlight is freekin' gone, the mirror is freekin' gone, and the fender and door are fucked. Oh, yeah...the holidays have started. We always have a trauma going between November 1st and January 2nd. It's what we do.

Officer friendly came by the house and filled out an accident report and said it was the third one they had yesterday. Yup...the critters are ruttin', alright.

[FairyChatMom]

My husband went to claim his car from the body shop last week (he sideswiped a guardrail, no deer involved) and they told him in one day, five different customers came in with deer strike damage. 'Tis the season, for certain.

I hit one a year or so ago. Fortunately, I'd slowed way down to go around a group of deer who were standing in my lane. Just as I was starting to accellerate around them, another deer came running from the left and crossed directly in front of me. I wasn't going fast enough to kill her, but it smashed $800 worth of plastic parts on the front of my van. Not that I spent the $800. I bought 2 new headlights, and we taped the plastic parts together. It's an old van - the repairs would have been more than the Blue Book value of the vehicle!!

Stoopit deer...

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by FairyChatMom

My husband went to claim his car from the body shop last week (he sideswiped a guardrail, no deer involved) and they told him in one day, five different customers came in with deer strike damage. 'Tis the season, for certain.

I hit one a year or so ago. Fortunately, I'd slowed way down to go around a group of deer who were standing in my lane. Just as I was starting to accellerate around them, another deer came running from the left and crossed directly in front of me. I wasn't going fast enough to kill her, but it smashed $800 worth of plastic parts on the front of my van. Not that I spent the $800. I bought 2 new headlights, and we taped the plastic parts together. It's an old van - the repairs would have been more than the Blue Book value of the vehicle!!

Stoopit deer...

Yikes! There are so many of them. We normally know where the hot spots are, but Mr. K made an off-the-beaten-path stop and wasn't expecting to see any deer right there (certainly wasn't expecting to see one on the hood of the car!).

We're guesstimating about $4K in damage. But of course! We just spent $1200 on an unrelated repair! The car is ten years old, but meticulously maintained.

Oh...did I mention a tree fell on this car last winter? Yeeeeaaaaahhhhh.......

[VunderBob]

In my little corner of Nawth Carliner, it is said that if you go 2 years without hitting a deer, you're an exceptional driver. Right now, 3 workdays out of five, I see at least one beside the road during the morning twilight commute time.

I haven't hit one yet, having moved there in mid-July, but I have claimed 2 rabbits, a possum, and a skunk.

Scariest almost-hit was when I was doing 80+ MPH responding to a volunteer fire page at 2 AM... If I had hit them (3), I doubt that I'd be typing this now.

[Eve]

Glad the Mister is OK! Those deer are even more dangerous than ramming into hitch-hikers or politicians!

[Johnny L.A.]

Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer!

[control-z]

I was at my child's soccer game last year, and parents were comparing how many deer they had hit, some had hit 6!

I know probably half a dozen people who have hit deer. Or a deer hit them, a friend of mine was driving down the Interstate and one hit his driver's side door.

[Lord Il Palazzo]

And here I was expecting some strange new take on Duck Duck Goose. What?

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by Eve

Glad the Mister is OK! Those deer are even more dangerous than ramming into hitch-hikers or politicians!

Truth be told, the thought crossed his mind that it could have been a person and not a deer. He said it happened so fast he didn't actually see anything. Because we're semi-rural (and the fact that the police didn't return later in the evening to lock him up) we're pretty sure it was a deer and not a straggler trick-or-treater.

Politicians? Feh. We should be so lucky.

[Bewildebeest]

My sister hit a deer a couple years ago in southern Maryland where she lives. The first person to stop didn't ask if she was OK. They asked what was she going to do with the meat.

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by Bewildebeest

My sister hit a deer a couple years ago in southern Maryland where she lives. The first person to stop didn't ask if she was OK. They asked what was she going to do with the meat.

I once new a guy who, after hitting a deer, jumped out of his car, slit the deer's throat (to drain the blood...something about making it more edible that way) and..(shudder!) removed Bambi from her womb.

[Paul in Qatar]

Deer? Forget deer. Camels, now they are something. When you hit one they come through the windshield to visit. If you're lucky you are getting fur out your teeth for days afterwards. If your not lucky you're dead.

[carnivorousplant]

I saw six early in the morning last week. I hope that Daylight Savings puts their foraging and my driving to work on different schedules now.

[Subway Prophet]

I have to tell this story. It's trite, but still makes me chuckle.

My wife is driving me in her old Ford Escort along some back-mountain road in Utah one winter. (We'd been married for less than a year.) This car has a history of deer collisions, from when it was her brother's. It's twilight, and the snow is coming down hard. We're doing like 40 MPH with 25 feet visibility, and I'm getting a little nervous.

So we're chatting, and the topic of conversation is pet names people give each other. (You can probably see where this is going. Stick with me.)

We pass a couple of deer munching on snow-covered grass by the road. My wife (who was born and raised in the area) casually mentions to me (this outsider who still thinks mountains have a sharp pointy peak at the top), that when you see more than one deer up close like that, they're likely part of a herd, and you need to be extra careful when driving through.

We pass a couple more standing on the other side of the road. Wife, going back to the previous conversation, remarks on how she likes it when I call her "sweetie", but for some reason "honey" is not so welcome.

That's about when I spot dozens of deer immediately in front of us, covering the road. My brain switches into full-on drowning-man panic mode, and I start thinking in monolyllabe words. I shout out... (wait for it...)

"DEER!"

Wife turns to me and says, "what? You've never called me dear..."

"No", I say, "DEER!"

She looks forward, and sees the wall of pre-factory venison in front of us. I thought we were, at best, going to smash the car and end up walking through this snowstorm to the next town, and at worst, not have to worry about filling out an insurance report if you know what I mean. Lucky us, her panic mode is several magnitudes better than mine. She does this amazing half-slalom, half-donut thing with the car and manages to avoid hitting a single one.

We creep out of the herd and back down the road. She's still just as cool as the air outside, but I'm still trying to figure out whether I pissed myself. It's about a half hour before our speed is up past 10 MPH again.

Later, when we're safely at our destination, she tells me, "you don't have to call me 'dear' if you don't want to. 'Sweetie' is just fine."

[control-z]

Originally Posted by Paul in Saudi

Deer? Forget deer. Camels, now they are something. When you hit one they come through the windshield to visit. If you're lucky you are getting fur out your teeth for days afterwards. If your not lucky you're dead.

Deer do that too. Of course I'm sure camels are generally bigger than deer.

[Poysyn]

Hubby was travelling a few years ago and saw Greyhound bus that had hit a Moose , the animal had faced off against the bus and limped off (probably to die) in the bush.

The bus was completely out of commission, the first two rows of seats pushed back by the moose-shaped dent in the front of the bus. The busdriver was taken to hospital.

In a car you wouldn't live to tell the tale.

[Oakminster]

Has anyone tried one of those deer whistle things? They mount on the car, and are supposed to emit a high pitched sound only audible to deer to scare them away.......

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by Subway Prophet

I have to tell this story. It's trite, but still makes me chuckle.

My wife is driving me in her old Ford Escort along some back-mountain road in Utah one winter. (We'd been married for less than a year.) This car has a history of deer collisions, from when it was her brother's. It's twilight, and the snow is coming down hard. We're doing like 40 MPH with 25 feet visibility, and I'm getting a little nervous.

So we're chatting, and the topic of conversation is pet names people give each other. (You can probably see where this is going. Stick with me.)

We pass a couple of deer munching on snow-covered grass by the road. My wife (who was born and raised in the area) casually mentions to me (this outsider who still thinks mountains have a sharp pointy peak at the top), that when you see more than one deer up close like that, they're likely part of a herd, and you need to be extra careful when driving through.

We pass a couple more standing on the other side of the road. Wife, going back to the previous conversation, remarks on how she likes it when I call her "sweetie", but for some reason "honey" is not so welcome.

That's about when I spot dozens of deer immediately in front of us, covering the road. My brain switches into full-on drowning-man panic mode, and I start thinking in monolyllabe words. I shout out... (wait for it...)

"DEER!"

Wife turns to me and says, "what? You've never called me dear..."

"No", I say, "DEER!"

She looks forward, and sees the wall of pre-factory venison in front of us. I thought we were, at best, going to smash the car and end up walking through this snowstorm to the next town, and at worst, not have to worry about filling out an insurance report if you know what I mean. Lucky us, her panic mode is several magnitudes better than mine. She does this amazing half-slalom, half-donut thing with the car and manages to avoid hitting a single one.

We creep out of the herd and back down the road. She's still just as cool as the air outside, but I'm still trying to figure out whether I pissed myself. It's about a half hour before our speed is up past 10 MPH again.

Later, when we're safely at our destination, she tells me, "you don't have to call me 'dear' if you don't want to. 'Sweetie' is just fine."

I always go into Ultra Panic Mode and start screamin' "Deer! Deer! Deer!" Mr. K says I sound like the theme song from Deliverance.

[chowder]

Seems to me you Merkins are danged unlikely what with all these wild critters rampaging around all over the place.


I hit a fox once.....oh and a rabbit ( not at the same time.)

My trusty car was undamaged.

[Musicat]

Originally Posted by Oakminster

Has anyone tried one of those deer whistle things? They mount on the car, and are supposed to emit a high pitched sound only audible to deer to scare them away.......

Don't work.

The manufacturers claim that two European studies proved that the whistles work. Not so. They were initially tried in Europe about 25 years ago but research did not prove them to be successful. Now they are being sold in the United States with European claims. The study from Finland, which the advertisers refer to, states that from all of the experiments conducted "it was unsure that the animals were not disturbed by the approach itself, so that the whistle sound was the only disturbing factor." The second study from Switzerland concludes that the whistling sound, which is well within the human hearing range, is so weak that it is overlaid by the noise of the moving vehicle. A scientific advisory panel from the World Society for the Protection of Animals states, after extensive review, that there is no known data "that shows that such devices can actually stop an animal crossing the road, which is the main purpose of the device."

So if you hit a deer with one of those thingies, it only rips off the hide a little better than a smooth fender.

[Uncommon Sense]

Sorry about your car.
I hit two at once a few years back.
Split 'em like a 7-10.
Couldn't open either door on the car cause both fenders were pushed into the doors. Had to crawl out through the window. Only one of the deer croaked, the other got away, prolly with great injury though.
Thankgod for insurance! Got a new paint job out of it on a rather old car.

[Subway Prophet]

Originally Posted by chowder

Seems to me you Merkins are danged unlikely what with all these wild critters rampaging around all over the place.


I hit a fox once.....oh and a rabbit ( not at the same time.)

My trusty car was undamaged.

I hit a Yugo once... they're about the same size as a Rabbit, right?

[gigi]

Originally Posted by Poysyn

Hubby was travelling a few years ago and saw Greyhound bus that had hit a Moose , the animal had faced off against the bus and limped off (probably to die) in the bush.

The bus was completely out of commission, the first two rows of seats pushed back by the moose-shaped dent in the front of the bus. The busdriver was taken to hospital.

In a car you wouldn't live to tell the tale.

Yeah, normally. One of the docs at our medical center hit one in 1999 and did make it, although it was touch and go for quite awhile. I seem to remember he was in a sporty car so maybe it fit under the moose well enough to injure him horribly but not kill him?? I remember him shown very feeble in a wheelchair. I can't find any info on what he's up to now; it doesn't look like he is back practicing in this area.

[gotpasswords]

It might amaze some people, but there are deer near San Francisco as well.

This morning, we saw two young ex-bucks (2 or 3 points) on the shoulder about a hundred yards apart.

How fast do you generally need to be going to kill a deer with a car anyway? The posted speed limit on that road is 35, and I'd wager that's plenty fast to give the animal enough blunt trauma that it won't be long for the world, if not killed immediately.

[mhendo]

I play in a fall softball league, and we play night games under lights in a large park here in Baltimore (Druid Hill Park, for those who know the city).

For the last few weeks we've had deer grazing on the outfield while we play, just beyond the spill of the lights.

[chowder]

Originally Posted by Subway Prophet

I hit a Yugo once... they're about the same size as a Rabbit, right?

More or less the same, yes.

I've run over quite a few Polo's as well, little fartin' things they are.

[phouka]

Thank heavens I've never hit a deer or a moose. My most popular target appears to be squirrel. Two have died beneath the wheels of my couple.

Worst part was that on the second one, I had the daughter of one of my close friends with me, and she was at just that tender age that squirrels are still cute, fluffy, sparkly eyed friends that will share acorns with you if you ask politely. Squirrel darted out, and there was too much traffic for me to swerve or break hard.

"Aunt phouka! Squirrel!"

*THUNK*

Thankfully, it wasn't loud. I just felt it through the steering wheel.

"Is he okay, Aunt phouka?"

I check my rear view mirror. Mr. Squirrel is decidedly not okay. His upper half has been squashed, and his lower half is flailing about in the throes of messy death.

"Uh...yeah, baby. He made it to the other side. Probably just real scared. But he found his friends and they just ran off. Maybe they're going to a party."

Yeah, a party in squirrel Valhalla.

So glad I turned off that street at the next intersection.

[phouka]

For those unfamiliar with my inimitable style:

couple = coupe

break = brake

[CalMeacham]

My sister hit a deer a couple years ago in southern Maryland where she lives. The first person to stop didn't ask if she was OK. They asked what was she going to do with the meat.

Pepper Mill hit a deer and literally knocked it into the next town (she was practically on the town line when she hit it). After assessing the situation, the policeman who came asked her what she was going to do with the meat. She let him take it.

[engineer_comp_geek]

I grew up in an area of West Virginia that had a lot of deer. When you see a deer, SLOW DOWN! You're not going to hit the one that you see. It's going to stare at you until the last moment, then it's going to take off. It's buddy, who was behind the tree so you couldn't see it, is going to follow him, so just when you think you are safe, WHAMMO.

I've never hit a deer. I know someone who back in the 70's got a brand new cadillac and was showing it off by racing down some country road. He hit a deer and totalled the car. The car was less than a week old.

I went to college with a woman that didn't show up to class one day because she hit a deer. She didn't show up again a few days later. She had hit a deer with the rental car. She finally got her car back from the shop, and hit another deer two weeks later.

[Jimson_Jim]

I'm very lucky I've never hit a deer. But when I was a claims adjuster in Madison WI inspecting deer collisions were a daily thing for me in the spring and fall. One stands out though. A 19-year-old kid took dad's pride a joy, a brand new Corvette, out for a joy ride one evening. He picks up a buddy and the two of them ride around for a few hours. Two blocks from home they hit a deer. This would be bad enough but these kids must have had some extra bad karma coming.

When they hit the deer it rolled over on to the fiberglass hood, which snapped in half on the engine block. The hood acted like a giant serrated knife and cut the deer nearly in half. The halves then broke the windshield spraying their contents into the car. The majority of the carcass then rolled over the roof. I could tell where the kids were sitting because there profiles were outlined in deer innards. Both escaped with only minor injuries. Even junior didn’t get it to bad from dad. He apparently came in the back door covered in blood and guts and said something to the effect of “Dad I took the car and there was an accident”.

[The Chao Goes Mu]

Kalhoun,

I'm glad your hubby is not injured. I just popped in to say how cute I think it is that you said "Down the road a piece." My great grandma used to say it all the time. Adorable.

So, when do we get some venison jerky?

[TristramAiblins]

About a year ago, my friend and I were out visiting a friend in a rural area. We were on the way to his car and he asks if I wanted to drive home. His car just happens to be a 1970 GTO. So, of course I'll drive.

And of course, I hit a deer.

Wasn't too terrible though. He was in a bush to the right as we passed him, and then he just sprinted beside the car and then tried to go infront. I slam on the brakes and the car goes \\ . Problem is, the car is going faster than the deer, so I sideswipe him. Just a nice little love tap, but still enough to knock him down. We stop, he gets up again and runs off into the forrest.

We get out and inspect the damage, not even a dent.

He even lets me drive it the rest of the way.

[gotpasswords]

What IS it with people hitting deer and wanting to take them home? Yes, I know they're made of meat and as such, are largely edible, but still...

I heard of one fellow in Connecticut that hit a deer and drags the carcass into his trunk and heads home. Unfortunately, it was a nice car but was no longer nice as the front end was mashed, the trunk stank of blood and musk, and the interior was trashed as well as he got covered in blood and guts dragging the deer to the trunk and got it all over the seats.

His insurance covered repairing the front of the car, but said "You're on your own now!" and did nothing for the blood and guts in the seats and trunk since he took what started as an accident and did further damage with "willful acts."

Moral of the story? Unless you've got a pickup truck that you can hose out later, don't take the dead deer home.

[carnivorousplant]

Originally Posted by TristramAiblins

He even lets me drive it the rest of the way.

That is a friend.

[Stranger On A Train]

Originally Posted by Oakminster

Has anyone tried one of those deer whistle things? They mount on the car, and are supposed to emit a high pitched sound only audible to deer to scare them away.......

They're about as effective at warding off deer as a Dashboard Jesus (but not quite as tacky). I've known many people who had them and swore by them...none of whom were statisticians. (I'll refrain from the joke about negative correlation, as I've already geeked out enough today regarding threaded fasteners.)

Originally Posted by gotpasswords

It might amaze some people, but there are deer near San Francisco as well.

Heck, I've seen deer in the Echo Park neighborhood (Los Angeles), presumably adventuring from their home in Griffith Park. Unless you are deep in the city, there's wildlife closer than you may think. I wouldn't be surprised if there were deer in Golden Gate NRA/The Presidio.

Stranger

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by The Chao Goes Mu

Kalhoun,

I'm glad your hubby is not injured. I just popped in to say how cute I think it is that you said "Down the road a piece." My great grandma used to say it all the time. Adorable.

So, when do we get some venison jerky?

Sorry...no venison. 1) I hate it. 2) Mr. K. didn't even stop. He's like that. A tree fell on him on the same road a few years ago (tree incident #1...we've had 2) and he just kept going. Now I would have turned around and stayed home for the day, but he figures if he survived, it's a good day to be alive and just keeps going. The trauma alone would have kept me in bed for 12 hours.

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by gotpasswords

What IS it with people hitting deer and wanting to take them home? Yes, I know they're made of meat and as such, are largely edible, but still...

I heard of one fellow in Connecticut that hit a deer and drags the carcass into his trunk and heads home. Unfortunately, it was a nice car but was no longer nice as the front end was mashed, the trunk stank of blood and musk, and the interior was trashed as well as he got covered in blood and guts dragging the deer to the trunk and got it all over the seats.

His insurance covered repairing the front of the car, but said "You're on your own now!" and did nothing for the blood and guts in the seats and trunk since he took what started as an accident and did further damage with "willful acts."

Moral of the story? Unless you've got a pickup truck that you can hose out later, don't take the dead deer home.

Get this! The cop told us the deer is considered property of the state, so I believe it is illegal to take it home if you kill it. Go figure.

[Subway Prophet]

Originally Posted by gotpasswords

What IS it with people hitting deer and wanting to take them home?

The way I understand it, it's several hundred dollars worth of meat, half of which you can sell to the guy who cuts & packs it for you.

[Subway Prophet]

Originally Posted by Stranger On A Train

They're about as effective at warding off deer as a Dashboard Jesus (but not quite as tacky). I've known many people who had them and swore by them...none of whom were statisticians.

Clearly, none of them had a Hula Jesus on their dashboard.

[Kalhoun]

Originally Posted by Jimson_Jim

I'm very lucky I've never hit a deer. But when I was a claims adjuster in Madison WI inspecting deer collisions were a daily thing for me in the spring and fall. One stands out though. A 19-year-old kid took dad's pride a joy, a brand new Corvette, out for a joy ride one evening. He picks up a buddy and the two of them ride around for a few hours. Two blocks from home they hit a deer. This would be bad enough but these kids must have had some extra bad karma coming.

When they hit the deer it rolled over on to the fiberglass hood, which snapped in half on the engine block. The hood acted like a giant serrated knife and cut the deer nearly in half. The halves then broke the windshield spraying their contents into the car. The majority of the carcass then rolled over the roof. I could tell where the kids were sitting because there profiles were outlined in deer innards. Both escaped with only minor injuries. Even junior didn’t get it to bad from dad. He apparently came in the back door covered in blood and guts and said something to the effect of “Dad I took the car and there was an accident”.

Hoooly shit. That's a really bad day for a kid.

[mischievous]

Originally Posted by Jimson_Jim

Two blocks from home they hit a deer. This would be bad enough but these kids must have had some extra bad karma coming...

I was eating McDonald's mystery meat when I read this, and I still cracked up. That's a great story.

I was out in St. Louis once, at a state-run outdoor shooting range. There were very strict rules about what you could aim at (for obvious safety reasons). On the skeet range, where you were required to be aiming up at the clay "pigeons", the deer were blithley munching the lawn not 100 feet away, constant gun noise notwithstanding. They cleverly avoided the rifle/handgun range, where you aim low and which was only another 200 feet away. They were taunting us.

mischievous

[The Chao Goes Mu]

Don't worry, I wasn't seriously suggesting that her husband should've absconded with the carcass. I don't know about other states but here in Ohio that is tantamount to poaching.
You can, however, get on a list. When the highway patrol gets a call on a dead deer, they go out, inspect, and if it's fresh and salvagable they will call the next name on the list. Day or night. You have so much time to get to the scene and take the deer. I know the thought of this turns some stomachs but I try to think of this way; at least it's not going to waste. A coworker's son aquired a deer this way. A huge buck that was hit on a rural road. He gave some of the meat to some of the less fortunate families in his church and of course we got some here at work. Yum. Thank Og my 17 year stint as a vegetarian had ended.

[ASAKMOTSD]

Made me think of this call to 911 - http://www.bigducky.com/prank_calls/911.mp3

[crazyjoe]

Aren't you supposed to speed up when you're going to hit a deer, to better send it up over the vehicle as opposed to through the windshield? OR is that a UL?

[Bewildebeest]

Sounds like a good experiment for the "Myth Busters". Don't we have a Myth Buster consultant doper?

[butler1850]

Originally Posted by ASAKMOTSD

Made me think of this call to 911 - http://www.bigducky.com/prank_calls/911.mp3

Send a bambalance! I love this one (if it's the one I'm thinking of).

Now of course, driving around I see lots of deer, I've avoided them all so far. When I'm in the woods looking for one to shoot (archery or firearm, in legal season), I'm not so lucky.

A large raccoon in the 13mile Woods in Northern NH, wasn't so lucky.

One cat (dead), and a dog (which spun around 3 complete times, and ran away), closer to home, also have fallen victim to my bumper.

If I was to hit a deer though, it'd go directly to the back of my Subaru Baja, if able to drive away, or into the back of the Wife's truck in an instant! Venison good... Butler eats good tonight!

[Gleena]

One fall, I hit three deer (not all at once). The last one totalled the car. The stupid thing was, it was the same road I took home every night, I went slow, etc. You just can't see them sometimes.

On a trip to Ste Sault Marie, I did the sliding slalom through more deer than I was able to count. I do not believe that my sphincter has been the same since that awful clinching! I'm not a fabulous driver. I'm a good enough driver that I stay out of accidents (with humans), but not one that can slip and slide on ice and snow through a herd of deer with grace and skill. I did it was luck and fear. Ugh!

Here, I've had close calls with two kangaroos. They are scarier looking to hit than deer. Yikes!

Cheers,
G

[simster]

Moral of the story? Unless you've got a pickup truck that you can hose out later, don't take the dead deer home.

Now that there is good advice....

[Jimson_Jim]

Originally Posted by crazyjoe

Aren't you supposed to speed up when you're going to hit a deer, to better send it up over the vehicle as opposed to through the windshield? OR is that a UL?

I think where the deer goes has more to do with the shape of the car than the speed. Little sporty thing you end up with deer in your lap. Huge pick up or SUV deer ends up in the radiator.