It gets dark early here in Massachusetts in late November. I picked up my three year old daughter from her home day-care and began driving home on a small road that is a cross between super-suburban and semi-rural. Out of nowhere, a very large doe leaped in front of my SUV. I had to slam on the brakes and skidded instantly but thankfully she stopped in place just like the dumb shits do and I missed her by inches but my daughter was on that side of the vehicle. I don’t know what what have happened if we actually collided but I have seen the aftermath of other successful suicide attempts by deer and it isn’t pretty for either the vehicle or the people inside of it.
I love the movie Bambi but his descendents are getting out of control. This is the 3rd time this has happened in 8 years although this one is by far the closest call and, if I had been looking at something else at all even for a millisecond, it would not have worked out well for any of us. I love wildlife but deer are basically like free-range cattle around here. They munch on the lawns of McMansions and I often pull into my driveway to find a herd of them just standing there like, well, deer in highlights.
I don’t want a bunch of things with the body mass and intellect of a drunken sorority girl just wandering around randomly and unpredictably. Something has to be done about this or somebody is going to get killed.