I’ve noticed a few things that seem to permeate every TV show:
They never hang up the phone by saying “goodbye”. The conversation just sort of ends, then the callers just hang up. Why no “goodbye”?
They never watch Television. (Except for shoes like The Simpsons and Family Guy) This always bothered me. TV shows make it seem like TV isn’t part of anyone’s regular day.
There is always ice in the ice buckets, especially in soaps/serials. A couple could return from a long vacation, walk over to the liquor cabinet and make a scotch on the rocks.
What other things have you noticed that happen in the odd dimension of TV land that aren’t quite like “real” life???
• On The Sopranos, it’s always swimming-pool weather. Always.
• Nobody ever has to go to the bathroom.
• Nobody has piles of papers, bills, stacks of magazines, etc., lying around the house. Almost no one is messy.
• College students and coffee-shop waitresses can somehow afford huge apartments in the hip areas of large cities and are also able to buy all the latest designer fashions.
• Female lawyers and female executives in conservative industries can wear extremely short skirts and tight, low-cut shirts, and almost no one finds this attire inappropriate.
It sit-coms, when 2 people are talking, one will say something and walk past, and in front of the other, then turn around. The other person might repeat this process, or simply say something and the original person will repeat it. It is one of the most annoying things on TV.
And, unisex bathroom scenes. Sure, no way a harrassment suit wouldn’t start in there.
In sitcoms especially, the sofa is often in the middle of the room. It has been extremely rare to see a sofa up against a wall–I can only recall two live-action shows that had sofas against a wall: All in the Family (though Archie’s and Edith’s chairs were in the middle of the room) and the Brady Bunch.
The Simpsons, of course, have their sofa against the wall, but I don’t think Family Guy does.
Occasionally also, characters will stand beside each other and look just away from the camera to have a conversation. Maybe I’m strange, but when I talk with someone, I generally look at them.
Two TV characters can sit and have a conversation, while someone sitting in the same room can’t hear it if they’re not supposed to. Is everyone on TV deaf unless they’re being spoken to directly?
It takes the cops two minutes to trace a call. Why don’t they just get call display like the rest of us?
I know it’s tough to do anything about this, but when a group of people is sitting at a table, in a restaurant, or at home, they always sit like this:
O__O_ O______O_
With the camera side wide open. It just takes me out of the experience for some reason. This is why I like NYPD Blue, because you ge a lot of over-the shoulder shots, etc, like you see in real life.
Re: saying goodbye, bathroom trips, etc: Also, when people pay for a cab, a beer, or a hotdog, they never get change. These people are tipping like crazy.
But a lot of these little details are unneccesary. Umberto Eco has an essay in his Six Walks in the Fictional Woods where he describes the “Porno Timeline”. His point is that quality storytelling eliminates familiar or unneccesary details. He uses porno as the counterpoint. In a Spielberg film, to portray a person driving from one place to the other, you show him approaching the car, and then cut to him exiting the car at his destination. In a porn film, you watch him get in, turn the keys, drive all the way there, turn off the engine, and exit the vehicle. Lotsa wasted time.
Scene: people are listening to a radio report or watching TV news concerning an event important to the plot. Before the report is over, someone always gets up and turns the TV/radio off! How do they know the reporter isn’t going to say something else important? Real people don’t act like this; they leave the TV/radio on under these circumstances, and just talk over it.
On Law & Order, no one can seem to stand still when being interviewed by cops. The detectives show up at someone’s place of work or home, say they want to talk about a murder, and the person just goes about their regular business as if this happens every day. The baker keeps shoving bread into the oven, the housewife keeps picking up toys in the den, the broker keeps walking down the hall to grab a fax.
This makes for good camera work, I guess, but once I noticed this, it drove me crazy.
I know New Yorkers are busy and jaded, but if cops showed up to ask me questions about some associate’s murder, it would be a major event in my day. I think I’d stop whatever I’m doing and actually give them my full attention.
– Greg, Atlanta
In soap operas, whenever someone asks a question, there is a minimum of 15 seconds before they get their reply. If someone tried this with me in real life, I’d be, “Uh, did you not hear me or something?”
In soap operas, people do an inordinate amount of talking to themselves. If I ever overheard one of my friends talking to themselves, I’d suggest they seek help.
Relief-seekeing customers would walk into a pharmacy and announce their hemorrhoid problems to perfect strangers.
Every bed would be fitted with special L-shaped blankets that reveal the man’s chest but not the woman’s.
The most virulent space aliens could be fended off with an ordinary CO² kitchen fire extinguisher.
The villain would never personally finish off the good guy, he would leave that task to some incompetent boob of a henchman- but not before revealing his whole diabolical plan & the means by which it may be thwarted.
Police cars could race through crowded city streets without ever hitting anything other than a fruit stand, which will always produce comical results.
All saloon chairs are strong enough to support extraordinarily heavy people, but will splinter into a million pieces when broken over somebody’s back.
Knock-out drugs take effect within two seconds of drinking (inhaling/being injected with) them.
These drugs are apparently available at your neighborhood 7-11, because every two-bit crook has access to them (they’re on the same shelf as the bottles of ether & rags).
Everyone seems to know every phone number off the top of ther head, friends, family, the pizza place, the plumber, some person they just met, their professor.
but you have to allow some license because 1) reality does not necessarily photograph well for all circumastances; 2) most stuff is just boring.
