When I’m walking down the street, why is it that, with dozens of other people all around, you invariably come up to me–and only me-- to ask for a cigarette? You don’t ask that woman just to the right, or the guy on the left next to you. No. You ask me. What makes you think I’m a smoker? I’ve never smoked in my life. What about me makes you think I’d have a cigarette? What is the signal that makes you choose me?
Futhermore, what makes you think that, if I did indeed have a cigarette, I’d just give it to you like that, simply because we both had the same bad habit?
I tell you what. You like cigarettes, I like candy. Next time you ask me if I have a smoke for you, I’m going to say, “No. Do you have a Lifesaver for me? A spearmint Lifesaver? No? What about a Reese’s peanut butter cup? No? Well, what about a couple Milkduds? No? Then how about a Pixie stick?..”
Does this actually happen while you’re just walking down the street? Or does it happen when you’re standing somewhere that people typically stop for a smoke?
If it’s the former, I’m baffled. On the extremely rare occasions that I’ve asked someone for a cigarette, it’s been someone I *knew * smoked, or someone who was actually smoking, which is a pretty good indicator that they’ve got a cigarette with them.
It’s possible you look more “approachable” than most. Or maybe there’s some unconscious cue you’re giving off; no telling.
Something similar happened to me last semester. I’m a law student; one of my classes was meeting in the library one day for some kind of idiotic tour. We all showed up, probably 40 students, and were milling around quietly in the lobby, waiting for the professor to arrive. At one point, a woman who worked in the library and was supposed to lead the tour came walking over through the crowd, directly to me, and said brightly, “Hi!”
“Hi!” I said back. We stared at each other.
“Are you the professor?” she finally said.
“Ah, no, he should be here soon though, I guess.” And she walked off.
I have no idea why she assumed, right off the bat, that I was the professor. I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and carrying a bookbag; some students were in suits and ties. At 35, I’m a little older than most students, but (a) I look fairly young, and (b) I was by no means the oldest person there.
Something in a person’s appearance can give some kind of subtle visual cue as to who they are, what they do, etc. It’s a mystery.
I know what you mean. I’ve frequently been singled out by kids in malls & asked if I would buy them [ smokes | beer | etc ]. Heck, my fundie-neighbors kids called me one day and asked me to buy them some dirty magazines. Why me?? I must have that “Contributing to the delinquency of a minor” look about me.
I would only ask a stranger for a smoke if I saw them smoking, or holding a pack, or reeking of cigarette smoke. To ask someone for a smoke if you do not know they even have cigarettes on them is kind of odd.
Yes, but now if you become a professor after law school, you’ll look back on that moment and wonder if it was all destined…
I’m going with the “subtle visual cues” thing. No idea what those cues could be, though. Maybe you should start carrying a pack, just to be neighborly? Course, it doesn’t have to be a fresh pack…
I’ve been smoking since high school, and I have yet to bum a smoke off someone other than my immediate family. I was taught that it is extremely rude to do so, especially if you don’t know the person. Am I the only one?
Bumming a smoke from a stranger is negative, but asking if they have a light is not. At least, that’s what my parents seem to have imparted to me.
This is called “Smoker Karma” and appears to be widely adhered to by the smoking community. If you have cigarettes, you happily bum one or two out to other smokers in need. This ensures that if you are ever unfortunate enough to be caught without your smokes, Smoker Karma kicks in and someone else will be glad to bum you a smoke.
It’s true! This is one of the only commodities (perhaps the only commodity) which has a substantial market value, and yet is widely distributed informally in a semi-communal system. This is done despite no direct economic benefit to anyone apart from the recipient, no coercion whatsoever (including either formal or informal sanctions) and no guarantee of reciprocity. And it works!
Truely, smokers are a model for the rest of society.
Walking down the street…usually rushing to an appointment I’m late for, and with earphones on, so I don’t hear the question at first, and I have to stop, take them out and ask them to repeat it, making the whole thing all the more vexing.
This isn’t always a foolproof sign – the stranger could have recently quit, yet still have the smell embedded in his/her clothing. I’ve never smoked, but my dad has puffed some combination of cigarettes/cigars/pipes since before I was born. When I needed a warm coat, I occasionally wore one of his old ones, and was assumed to be a smoker. If I went to a restaurant, I wasn’t even asked “Smoking or non?”, but was automatically seated in the ashtray-filled section unless I requested otherwise.
Living in a “tourist town”, I have this phenomenon, except with picture-taking. I can be zooming down the beach with headphones and a water bottle, thereby presumably indicating that I am EXERCISING and want to KEEP moving, but I will invariably be chased and asked by several people to take their picture. This will happen as I walk very very quickly past several other likely candidates just STANDING there doing nothing. I always comply, for I am a polite & helpful person by nature, but I always want to ask them, seriously, why me? (The best was a group of Japanese business men [in suits and bare feet]; I thought they wanted a group shot, but no. They EACH wanted an individual picture of themselves WITH ME. They’re probably on the internet somewhere :rolleyes: ).
pool, I’m so going to rush up to the next panhandler I see and ask them for change first! That’s great!
I notice that panhandlers ask women more often than men. Since statistically I make less than a man for doing the same job, I find this particularly annoying.
From each according to how many are in the pack*, and to each according to their nicotine fit level.
*No smoker will take the last cigarette from a pack, even if urged, unless the bummee displays a full pack in reserve. There was a thread on the ethics of bumming smokes a year or so ago, that I can’t find now.
I always get “you know where I can get some ‘E’?” Well, not always, just in places where ecstasy use is somewhat common. I guess I look like I deal drugs (I don’t).
People on campus always ask me for cigarettes. I’ve had the same guy, on a campus of 25,000, ask me at least three different times to bum a smoke. Damnit you only get one; I don’t know you.
I NEVER bum from someone I don’t know. I think it’s kinda rude/weird. I’ll give them sometimes. Especially if it’s a guy and he is cute. But I refuse sometimes with a little lie “Oh I only have one left” or something. But I usually give, unless the person is rude. My friends and I bum off each other all the time, but it’s a circular thing and no one does it any more than anyone else.
I just hate people who bum cigarettes but never buy their own. Either smoke or don’t, damnit. They ruin the smokers karma. If you’re gonna smoke and you’re gonna bum, buy some. It’s even worse when they offer you money - hey if you’ve got money, go buy some damn cigarettes with it instead of taking mine and giving me two dimes and some lint.
But it is weird for someone to ask a stranger for a cigarette when said stranger is not actually smoking. I would need 100% proof that that person was a smoker before I’d even think about asking them for one.
If I’m out in public and I’m out of smokes, well too bad for me. I should have bought some earlier.
