During one of our sillier conversations, my wife and I somehow got to debating who would win a war betwen the Oompa-Loompas (from the original Willie Wonka movie) and the Munchkins (from the Wizard of Oz, of course).
My wife claims the Munchkins would. They have developed a society in their own land, with a political structure, and were more like a “country” in the modern sense. They would thus fight to defend their land and way of life.
I say Oompa-Loompas. Sure, they’re factory workers, but that means that they’re used to following orders to get the job done–to “achieve an objective,” if you will. Some Oompa-Loompas have specialized training that could prove beneficial in a war (those who work wth Wonkavision might be particularly useful in the technological aspects of a war, for example).
We came to no conclusion, so we’re putting it to you, Dopers: who would win a war between the Oompa-Loompas and the Munchkins, and why?
Oompa Loompas are without fear, compassion, mercy or regret. They don’t have to eat, drink, or sleep. They absolutely will not give up or stop for any reason. May Og have mercy on those munchkins.
If I remember correctly, Willie Wonka had rescued the Oompa-Loompas from Loompa-Land where they had been constantly terrorized by horrific predators like the Snozzwangers, Hornswagglers and Rotten, Vermicious Knids. If they survived that, they must be tough, resourceful little sumbitches!
The Oompa Loompas have that ray gun they used to shrink the kid, so they have WMS (Weapons of Mass Smallifyingness). They’ve also got a boat to mount it on, and they have chocolate.
There were the munchkin ballerinas who were the Lullaby League. This is my 4 year old daughter’s favorite part of the movie.
Then there were the munchkin mobsters who were the Lollipop Guild.
I’m thinking that the unionized labor munchkins would be much too used to 4 sitting on their asses watching one guy work. The scab undocumented labor oompa-loompas know they have to bust ass all day every day to get their one cacao bean. Oompa-loompas have a better work ethic, they take jobs munchkins won’t do. You never see an oompa-loompa family on welfare like you do the munchkins. Hey, I’m not racist, I just call it like I see it.
But they had to be rescued! While we don’t know how many Snozzwangers, Hornswagglers, and Knids there were, nor do we know how vermicious they were, we do know that they had never established a defense against them. The Oompa Loompas had already been driven out of their homeland because they couldn’t defend themselves.
The Munchkins sang and celebrated the death of the Wicked Witch of the East, indicating that she was a well-known enemy and that they were familiar with war. The openly celebrated her death, with no remorse. They had established territory, and would defend it as needed. (Though they should have been able to easily discover that water would defeat their enemy).
Therefore, while it would be a bloodbath --a really adorable one too-- I would bet on the Munchkins.
My money’s on the Ewoks. And a tri-lateral Ewok/Munchkin/Oompa-Loompa war would produce a lot of “Oh my God, the horror of war…the extremely cute horror of war.”
Point of order. It was the Witch of the West (who had subjugated the Winkies) who had the water allergy. There is no indication that the Witch of the East (tyrant of Munchkinland) shared that affliction.
