I can deal with the anxiety of being 28 years old and having to go get a colonoscopy.
I can deal with the humiliation of having air pumped up my colon and foreign objects shoved up my ass.
I can deal with the annoyance of not being able to eat anything but lime Jello and chicken broth for a day.
I can even handle shooting great gouts of ballistic feces water out of my ass thanks to the megaton bomb of OTC laxatives.
But why, oh why, does this stuff have to taste like a cross between furniture polish, the waste water at a condom factory, and Dick Cheney’s salty crotch?
And the new lemon-ginger “flavor” is supposed to taste better?
And I’ve got to take another dose of this in a couple of hours?
It’s pretty nasty, alright. Back in the day when I was told I had acute renal failure and had to prep for tests, they made me drink some fizzy strawberry pop tastin’ stuff. Much better than the evil lemon ginger.
Turned out they made a mistake on their end. Kidneys are fine, thank you.
You’re supposed to dissolve it in a highly sugarted clear liquid
I dissolve mine in Sprite or Slice. Not to say I do this all the time, but I have had a couple of these procedures in the past 5 years or so, so I have had to do it.
Hopefully the colonoscopy will reveal that all is well and you just need more fiber.
Well, it’s going to be detectable no matter what liquid you put it into, because it’s basically a kind of salt water, and salt water is going to affect the taste of any beverage, except maybe moonshine fresh out of the still.
Whatever you do, don’t put it in Gatorade. [insert Mr. Yuk emoticon]
It tastes marginally better if it’s cold.
But not by much.
Lots of 7-up or Sprite, yeah, works well. And “well” here is a word which means, “Not as bad as Gatorade”.
When I was in the hospital, it was presented to me in a chlly Sprite bottle with condensation on the side and a cute straw in the bottle. Presentation is everything.
I’m assuming this Phosphosoda is somehow different than the freakin’ gigantic tub of Colytely I had to drink before my colonoscopy? ::stops, looks up Phosphosoda on the internet:: Wait a second, how many doses of this stuff do you have to take, one or two? Try an 8-oz glass of Dick Cheney ball sweat every 15 minutes until you’ve drank four liters of the stuff. That’s the Colytely regimen. Boohoo, cry more, noob. ::is still bitter::
Sorry. I don’t know if it works for a sparkly-type ball sweat, but I found that chugging my Colytely worked best. Just glugging it down as quickly as possible each time.
Teabagged? No, can’t say as I’ve experienced that. 'Course, not so’s I’d noticed, considering I’ve been getting ass-raped by the whole lot of them for the last several years. That there, that’s got a salty taste, yessir.
Heh. We do barium enemas darn near every day, and before we begin, we always have to ask the patient if they think that their “prep was effective” – in other words, are they cleaned out?
The greatest percentage answer in the affirmative enthusiastically.
Some of them are pretty funny. One curmudgeonly ol’ coot said, “I think I blew my asshole off about 1:30 this morning.”
I wish I could remember some more of their exact quotes. I’ve got to start writing them down.
My husband had hemorrhoid surgery Friday. He was complaining about his liquid diet and the cleaning out solution. I’ve had a couple of those cleaning out solutions myself. They taste like poison, which is I suppose what they are, in a way.
Right now, Bill is WISHING that the only thing bothering him was the taste of that solution. His gut is working again, and moving food down the old chute. He wants morphine, but I’m not about to give it to him.
