After a miscarriage four weeks ago, my hubby and I are back to trying to conceive. We have talked about it and are both ready to try again. My cycle has returned to normal (seems to be 29 days long) so we’re hoping to try again this month.
At the moment I am charting my basal body temperature but this only shows an increase in temperature after ovulation. So my question is, for anyone who’s tried them, is it a good idea to use a home ovulation predictor test in conjunction with charting my temperature in order to know exactly when I’m ovulating instead of simply guessing that its probably around day 15 or so?
The reason for the query is that I am concerned that I don’t want to get obsessed with trying and these things cost a small fortune so don’t want to go down the road of using them unless it’s thought they are really valueable to the whole process. However, given I’m now 39, I don’t have the rest of my life to sit back and let nature take its course, I’d like to give it a helping hand.
Are you familiar with all the tenants of FAM or are you just tracking your temperature? The reason I ask is that once you’ve ovulated, it’s generally too late to conceive. You want to have intercourse in the couple of days beforehand, not once you’ve already ovulated. When you ovulate, you want the sperm already there and waiting for the ovum, or at the very least a few hours away - well into the uterus and moving towards the fallopian tube. That’s a three day trip for a sperm.
An ovulation predictor test tests for luteneizing hormone, and will tell you you’re going to ovulate soon. But they are expensive and you only need them if you are very irregular in your cycles.
Using FAM, almost all of us can predict ovulation with nothing more than a pen and a thermometer. You simply need to chart for a few months to see your pattern. If you’re like most of us, you’ll soon find your fertile phase. You don’t want to have sex at the temperature spike, as you seem to already know - but you want to review your charts and see if you can aim in the three days* before you’re likely to spike this month. You’re very likely even more consistent than you think you are.
I’ve been doing FAM for 4 years now, I think. Avoided pregnancy except when we chose to conceive, and got pregnant on our first try. Now, I’m incredibly fertile and regular with great cervical fluid. Not everyone is so “lucky”. But mostly it was possible because I can predict with great accuracy when I’m going to ovulate just from my temperature charts and cervical fluid quality. My middleschmertz confirms my predictions down to a few hours.
*If your husband has a low sperm count, have sex four and two days before your predicted ovulation, and then the day of, just in case. But let his swimmers build up a little, don’t deplete them with more frequent ejaculations.
How easy did you concieve the first time? At 39, if it took a while, I’d invest in the predictor kits - they are expensive, but you don’t have forever. But if you are one of those superfertile people (or appear to be), I’d give it a few months before investing…
I had no luck with that or FAM - but suspect my problem wasn’t concieving, all indicators pointed to an implantation problem. We eventually had a surprise baby.
Hi WhyNot , I have to say I’m not familiar with FAM? Is it natural family planning?
As you say, the problem with the temperature route is that it shows you when you’ve already ovulated, which is not much use after the event! It does seem to be good to chart over a couple of months; however, after coming off the pill in August last year, my cycle didn’t settle down til December when I first started charting - then we got pregnant that month and were thrilled. Looking back on that chart, we did the deed a couple of days before, as you have suggested. We then, sadly, had the miscarriage. Now we’re starting all over again now but don’t really have a history to check back on, except that one month in December. However, I suppose if that’s all the history I have, then I have to work with that. Given my cycle is 29 days, then it’s likely I will ovulate on CD15 so we need to get going a couple of days before that.
The information that it takes 3 days for the sperm to reach the fallopian tube is something I didn’t know and will factor into the process. God, I joked with my hubby that getting pregnant is a merely a mathematical equation - I wasn’t wrong was I?!
Dangerosa, my husband, in a previous relationship, was tested for fertility (they were having problems in that area) and was told that he had super sperm, good strong swimmers. My parents were also told to only have sex once a month - it seemed any more than that and they were going to have yet another baby (and with 9 kids already, you listen to the doctor!!) which gives me hope that I take after my Mother in that area. The fact that we got pregnant so quickly after my cycle had settled down gives me great hope (and by God I sincerley hope we are superfertile, as you so kindly put it) but there’s never a problem in giving Mother Nature a bit of a hand once in a while so any advice I can get will be sincerely appreciated.
FAM stands for Fertility Awareness Method (motto: “It’s NOT the rhythm method!” ), and it’s essentially natural family planning (NFP), except that NFP teaches abstinence on fertile days to prevent pregnancy and is mostly taught through churches, and FAM teaches you can choose other birth control methods on your fertile days, like condoms or a diaphragm. The rest of the techniques and tools are the same.
It is likely that you should have sex around day 14 or 15 or so, you’re right. It’s most likely, statistically speaking, that your literal ovulation day is somewhere between days 15-17 on a 29 day cycle. Most of us begin to menstruate 12-14 days after we ovulate. There are exceptions, of course. I know one woman who consistently ovulated on day 20 of a 24 day cycle. Poor thing could conceive like there was no tomorrow, but she could never hold onto a pregnancy because there wasn’t time to implant! Progesterone therapy helped her have her kids.
Interestingly enough (to me, anyway), the number of days from ovulation to menstruation is very fixed for each woman. There’s only so much progesterone in each corpus luteum, and once that runs out, you “bleed.” When women “skip” a period, or their period is delayed due to stress or illness, it’s because of a delay in ovulation, during the first half of the cycle. The second half of the cycle is very regular, even in “irregular” women. That’s another good thing about knowing when I ovulate. I can then count ahead 13 days (my personal magic number) and I’m never caught without a pad or tampon - no matter how wonky the first half of my cycle is! But I digress…
No, you really weren’t wrong! Of course, our bodies don’t read the books, so things don’t always work like the theory says, but yes, it takes a while for the little swimmers to swim those long inches to the fallopian tubes. If they fertilize an egg in the uterus, it’s usually too late for the egg to implant, and it will just wash out with your menses. My own daughter was conceived with sperm…uh…inserted SIX days before ovulation, which is pushing it even according to the tenants of FAM/NFP. Sperm are only “supposed” to live for 4-5 days. But, like I said, I have great cervical fluid. We wanted to try for a girl, so once I saw good fertile fluid, we had a go at it. (Early intercourse is theoretically linked to girl babies, intercourse closer to ovulation to boys. I’m not entirely convinced of the effectiveness, but since it was our first month trying and I was 30, we figured we had time to play around a little.) My cervical fluid helped the little buggers to stay alive long enough to get the job done.
(Of course, this also means that people who have fabulous conception stories are not entirely accurate. That wonderful magical evening isn’t really when you conceive - you are more likely to literally conceive on the elevator at work Monday morning from the magical sex you had on Saturday night!)
The fact that you conceived so quickly after stopping the pill is a great sign. I wouldn’t stress about it too much, honestly. If you have the money to spare, the ovulation kit might be fun and make you feel less unsure, but don’t feel pressured to get pregnant in the next three months. Your body still has some time left. (I’d not say the same thing of a 39 year old woman who has never conceived or who had irregular cycles.)
I was facing the exact same situation at the exact same age as you. I had just had a miscarriage, and wanted to conceive ASAP, due to my age being 39, and due to wanting my kids’ ages to be relatively close to each other (my daughter was about 2 at the time). My doctor recommended using the predictor kit, so I gave it a try. I only bought one, because you are right, they are expensive!!!
The upshot of it is that it worked the very first month, and I am due to deliver the baby in 3 weeks! So, I would recommend giving it a try…they seem to work pretty well, in my experience.
Ok, I’m aware of some of the concepts around Natural Family Planning (this is the one my folks used perhaps not with much success given there are 9 of us!) but I’m interested in taking control of my fertility (either trying to get pregnant or not) in a more natural way and don’t really want to go back on the pill if and, very much hopefully when, we do have a child. I will look into this and into that book you recommended. I am not in any way religious nor is my husband, so avoidance of birth control measures isn’t an issue with us.
I will probably need to chart for a few months to get a real feel for this - in the past I wasn’t concerned with any of this and avoided all mention of it. Now I’m actively seeking it out! I will check my chart over the next few months (if we don’t get lucky in the meantime of course) and see where the pattern forms.
This is something that I did know but had heard it was always 14 days which I found out later wasn’t necessarily true. However, having at least one fixed point in the cycle will help work out the other information.
This I didn’t know and it could be useful as we’d love a little girl - but a healthy baby is the primary concern!
Thank you for this - it is very reassuring. My hubby thinks I’m stressing too much over it. It’s simply that it’s something we both really really really want and I know we’d be great parents.
Thank you so much for your advice. It is very much appreciated.
Oh Sarahfeena , that gives me great hope too. I may try it this month and see how it goes. I’ll keep to my charting anyway as it’s useful information about my cycle and my body at any point in time.
Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck in 3 weeks!!!
Generally so, though as you noted in the part I snipped, sometimes that timeframe can be shorter. IIRC the phrase is “luteal phase defect” though I was last concerned with that terminology 11+ years ago so my memory may be off.
I was in my late 30s when we were trying for Moon Unit and we used the ovulation predictors. Actually I also used one when we “caught” with Dweezil a couple years earlier - like you I’d had a miscarriage and wanted to try to catch again right away. It worked quite well with Dweezil! I went through a lot more tests when trying to get pg with Moon Unit because I was older, and initally I was still nursing Dweezil so my cycles were a bit wonky (including some where I ovulated and my period showed up 10 days or less later).
I will say, though, that the month I finally caught with Moon Unit, we know exactly when “it” happened due to the kits.
One comment - and the kits may have improved in the last 10 years - the instructions were actually wrong as to when you need to “do the deed”. They said “some time in the next 24 hours” when what they really should have said is “right NOW or preferably YESTERDAY” based on some independent reading I did. That was because you wanted those swimmers already in place when your egg was ready to make its debut - not running late and trying to get to the party before the guest of honor left and went home
I used the ovulation predictor kit, and it worked for me. I had tried FAM, but I sleep too poorly to get good, consistent temps – they were all over the chart – and I didn’t want to rely on my interpretation of good cervical fluid alone. I absolutely think that FAM/NFP work, and that they’re great, but I wasn’t a good candidate at that time.
I liked the kit because it removed all the guesswork. It’s true that they aren’t cheap, but we only needed the one! I’m due in August. Keep in mind that there are (at least) 2 different types of predictor products out there: the sticks that you pee on for a few days in a row, like home pregnancy tests (that’s what I used), and fertility monitors. The monitors are more expensive than the sticks, at least initially.
While I know it’s not the point of the thread, I just feel the need to point out that what your parents (assuming they were of average parental age and you’re 39), were using is not NFP or FAM as it’s taught today. It was most likely the Knaus-Ogino Method, often called the Calendar Method, and most famously known as The Rhythm Method. It, forgive my language, sucks big brass donkey balls. Its failure rate (that is, the number of women who become pregnant in a year while using it to avoid pregnancy) is way up there with cervical caps and sponges - a whopping 25%. Even the most refined computer models of it can only claim a *theoretical *4% failure rate. Way too high for my taste!
The latest and best FAM, the symptothermal method uses not statistical models and averages, but scientific, measurable and objectifiable signs in each user’s actual body, and it uses at least two of them - generally basal temperature and quality of the cervical fluid. It is far more effective, both theoretically and in actual use. As the wiki article points out, several studies have found actual user failure rate more in the 2-3% range for symptothermal - better than condoms and diaphragms, and up near the pill. The reason for these errors are generally not errors in the method, but in the users. Just like horny teenagers, horny adults may know damn well that she’s fertile, but have unprotected intercourse anyway.
FAM symptothermal pregnancy *achievement *rates are also pretty good: “A study by Barrett and Marshall has shown that random acts of intercourse achieve a 24% pregnancy rate per cycle…Studies of cervical-mucus methods of fertility awareness have found pregnancy rates of 67%-81% in the first cycle if intercourse occurred on the Peak Day of the mucus sign” (cites in that same wiki article.)
You’re not alone in the conflation of the two, though. Every time I teach about FAM, I have to explain that it’s not Rhythm, and it’s much more effective than Rhythm. And every time I get to hear the old saw: “What do you call people who use the Rhythm Method? Parents!”
Mama Zappa - yes, it’s still called a luteal phase defect, and it’s treatable now with progesterone cream or Clomid. Charting is the cheapest and least invasive “test” for the condition: three months and it becomes obvious.
Ovulation test strips definitely helped me, and they are possible to find cheaply if you do a search. I bought 100 for about $30 (I needed a lot because of an irregular cycle).
Thank you! Good idea to keep charting, as well…I would keep that up, just in case.
Congrats, stargazer. I should have specified that we used the pee-stick kind, as well. I also know a few other people who used them with quick results.
Just wanted to chime in and say that, like Sarafeena and Stargazer I used the pee-stick ovulation tests, and only needed one kit. Its worth a try at least.
Good Luck!
Which is the thing that actually SUCKS about Taking Charge of Your Fertility. The book makes it sound like EVERYONE gets pregnant once they start charting and timing it right - it can be very frustrating if you issue is implantation (or anything else that all the stretchy cervical mucas in the world won’t help). If you are actually infertile, FAM doesn’t do much. If you are subfertile, it can help time things right, but the success will depend on the root cause of your subfertility.
My edition is older, and she may have toned down the whole “everyone” thing in a subsequent edition.
**Honeydew **- full disclosure: I am an executive at a company that supports a national network of fertilty specialist centers. I work with some of the top fertility specialists in the country.
The general clinical POV on home ovulation kits is that they are great and can be very helpful - and if there are any other factors that need to be tracked or addressed, those kits are best used within the context of a more comprehensive plan. How would you know if you have any other factors that need to be addressed or tracked? You would need to get checked out by a fertility specialist - a reproductive endocrinologist. Given your age, it is all the more important to understand where you stand - so you, working with a doctor, can make an informed decision regarding when you might move to different levels of ART - Advanced Reproductive Treatment - anything from an IUI (intrauterine insemination) to ivf (in vitro fertilization) or other variants.
I hope this is helpful - that is the intent. If you have other questions or would like to know if any fertility specialists are close by, you are welcome to email me.
Yeah. After reading TCOYF, I was convinced that I would become pregnant immediately after correctly learning to take my temperature and check my cervical mucus. It turns out I may be anovulatory (and my husband has no sperm to speak of, but that’s not really the issue in this particular post), which has the practical effect of my temperature never taking any significant trips up or down, and my mucus readings being no help at all. The tone of the book made me feel that I was doing something wrong, and if I just tried harder, I’d figure it out, when in reality my body wasn’t going to come up with the right answers no matter how hard I tried.
But if you aren’t me, it might be a really good book for you.
I don’t want to speak for her, but my sense is that she’s saying, “Look, your doctor can do a whole CBC, thyroid, etc., find nothing, tell you to wait a year before he declares you infertile, put you on daily shots which won’t help and then finally order a whole series of progesterone tests in the last two week of your cycle to test for luteal phase defect, or you could buy a $5 thermometer at Walgreens and have your answer in 60 days.” Not that EVERYONE can get pregnant using FAM, but that those who have trouble can identify at least two of the most common problems - anovulatory periods and luteal phase defects - without a doctor at all. As you know, I’m all about taking control of your own health care and keeping doctors as sources of information and medication only when you need them. My doctor works for me, I don’t jump through hoops for her. Things will be a lot cheaper and faster if I can show her my charts on my first visit and say, “Look, my post-ovulatory phase is 4 days long, obviously there’s a luteal phase defect here. What are we going to do about it - progesterone cream or Clomid?” (Why, yes, I have had doctors “fire me” as a pain in the ass patient. That’s okay, I’d rather not work with them anyway! )
I’ll be honest, I didn’t read the book or learn the method to get pregnant, but to *not *get pregnant. Since I don’t personally have fertility issues, I didn’t read those sections with the sensitivity that a person struggling with fertility would undoubtedly feel. So thank you for telling me how it read to you, because I just wouldn’t have known. In the future I’ll be sure to mention it when I recommend the book as the first step for women trying to conceive.
), and it’s essentially natural family planning (NFP), except that NFP teaches abstinence on fertile days to prevent pregnancy and is mostly taught through churches, and FAM teaches you can choose other birth control methods on your fertile days, like condoms or a diaphragm. The rest of the techniques and tools are the same.