No? Then why must clothing retailers try to foist these extra-long, calf-hiding “shorts” on me? I want a pair of shorts. I don’t want extra-long “carpenter’s shorts” with a thousand utility pockets and loops, that almost qualify as pedal pushers. It’s hot outside. I want shorts that end above my knees. I don’t want to feel the hem of my fugly man-capris tickling the hairs halfway down my calves.
Christ. Either give me some real shorts, or give me my Earldom in the Old Country.
Grrrrrrrrrr.
For those who were as confused as I was: Little Lord Fauntleroy
Personally, I like cargo shorts 
You shut your goddamn mouth. This long shorts craze is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Sure, people of normal height look like retards in their high-water non-shorts, but I can finally buy a pair of shorts that go below my knee and that’s all that matters.
::shakes fist at Ogre::
Ogre, I love this thread title. I certainly do know who LLF is.
ETA: Er…that’s all I got. Nothing to say about the shorts, sorry.
Will this site help? http://www.aeropostale.com/family/index.jsp?categoryId=2183149&cp=2284059&clickid=cat_leftnav_txt
So do I, but the last pair I bought has deep pockets. They go all the way down to the leg openings. I literally have to bend over to get my keys.
So I guess it’s safe to say that you like short shorts?
I agree with you Ogre.
I found the kind of shorts you’re looking for at JC Penneys about a year ago. I would hope the bigger Mall Department stores still sell shorts that end above the knee. If not, I guess I’ll keep my old ones until fashion moves away from the ridiculous “Man Capris” you referenced.
I’m old enough to know who Lord Fauntleroy was.
Woot! A rant I can really get behind. I’m tall (most all in the legs), so I do enjoy longer shorts that look normal on me. But Giraffe’s complaint not withstanding, most shorts are way too damn long, and have many superfluous pockets. I just want a reasonably long, khaki short with comfortable (read breathable) material. Is that too much to ask, goddamit?!? I don’t need a loop for my hammer, or paintbrush, or whatever… And could they not be pre-worn out? I can do that myself, thanks very much.
Cite? 
Whack “Arise, Sir Loin of Beef…!”
Whack “Arise, Duke of Ellington…!”
Whack “Arise, Earl of Cloves…!”
Whack “Milk of Magnesia…!”
Whack “Quarter of Ten…!”
They need to bring back Jams (same length, even worse colors). These newer, beige-colored monstrosities don’t do it for me; normally, I prefer not to match my computer case.
And, then, later, I will learn again to rock with the multi-colored, plastic Swatch watches.
I feel your pain. My 12 year old son laughed and asked if I was serious last summer when he saw me in shorts. His shorts nearly reach the ground!
That’s L F L F to you, Missy!
I’ll gladly trade with you - as a matter of fact I often buy men’s long shorts. I am 46 years old and not the lovely spring flower I once was. I do not want the cheeks of my ass on display to the masses. The masses don’t want to see the cheeks of my ass! Give me some shorts that cover the subject!
Amen. I’m a shrimpy guy, and these long shorts look ridiculous on me. I want shorts that show off my knobby knees to their full advantage, thankyouverymuch.
Daniel
:eek: That’s no leg opening!
It has been a strange trend in Australia for men to wear these ‘shorts’. I thought they were culottes. I keep asking people who wear them ‘Why are you wearing culottes?’
Hmph. If I had those ridiculous, knobby giraffe-knees, I’d probably want to hide 'em too.
Whoa there, hossfly. I’m not talking about hot pants. I’d look at least as moronic in hot pants. I just want a normal, ends-just-above-the-knee pair of shorts.
Wait. Does your ass hang down to your knees? 'Cos that’s the only way I can see showing off cheekage in normal shorts. Perhaps I don’t really want an answer to that question.
Right now, I’m having to buy from Columbia if I want regular shorts, since every department store I’ve been to is carrying cargo/carpenter shorts that would look just faaaaabulous with a kicky pair of 18th century leggings or maybe a darling ballerina slipper.
(Related gripe: some of the more “rugged” man-knickers also have laces or tassels hanging off the sides, presumably so you can cinch the whole affair up like you’re beachcombing (or mincing uncontrollably.) I had my wife in tears the other day when I put a pair of these on in the store and was whirling about, making my tassels fly in what I thought was a most aristocratic manner. The sales lady didn’t seem so amused, however.
Wanna swap? As a woman I can’t find shorts that’ll cover my ass appropriately. That’s all I ask, and can I get any? No. So I end up wearing jeans all summer and sweating the whole time because I DON’T WANT TO FLASH MY ASS CHEEKS TO THE WORLD.
That, and the sunburn would be awful.