It's a shame the kilt isn't a mainstay in men's fashion

Cafe Society
#1

It’s such a superior garment for everything save a splintery seesaw. It needn’t be the pleated variety which requires yards upon yards of wool cloth either. Utili-Kilts have been adopted by long distance hikers, like the thru-hikers of the Appalachian Trail, for years by a small and loyal subset waging a lonely war against chafing and fromunda cheese.

If only every man could have had his SO delivery a quick blowjob owing to the access only the kilt-clad possess. Think of all the semi-public youthful frottage that could have effortlessly escalated had kilts been the garment, not blue jeans. That would’ve clearly created a demand. Plus the flagging fanny pack business could have transitioned into a sporran empire. I’d love a sporran. Carry my wallet, and maybe a snack.

I’ve never worn one, but they seem awesome, except for that one part where no one else wears one, and you have to fight every jackass that mocks your skirt.

#2

I would love to see more men in kilts, however, they would need to be taught how to sit in a modest manner in said kilts because, unlike men, women are not so enthused by being flashed by the opposite gender.

#3

They were a HUGE fad in the 90s in the gay community. I never cared for 'em but when it’s currently 95 degrees out and muggy, I have thought about their benefits.

#4

Unfortunately they’ve been getting awfully popular with a partcular kind of fedora-wearing, wolf shirt coated greasy long hair in a ponytail neckneard type recently.

The “traditional” ones, with a sporran and all the other acessories, are pretty sharp for formal events (my grandfather and uncle wore them for my cousins wedding) but the utilikilts just look painfully dorky.

#5

You could have just said “Typical Male Doper.”

#6

That’s not a fair representation at all. I don’t even *own *a fedora!

#7

I keep trying to work up the balls (heh) to get a utilikilt and/or a running kilt. Just hasn’t happened yet.

#8

I think I have the legs to pull off wearing a kilt, but haven’t had the guts or funds to break down and buy one, nor would I have the special occasions to use it (unless I join a bagpipe group, which I have also thought of doing)

#9

Yeah, but you do own a Utili-Kilt.

#10

I’d wear the shit out of a kilt if they were more popular. I’ve always thought men’s options for lower-body attire is too limited.

#11

I had the fortune to be allowed to wear a real kilt for a party a few months ago, and I can assure you, you wouldn’t want to wear one when it’s 95 degrees. God, those things are hot. I was continuously sweating down my crack (but that was probably because I wore it in the ‘traditional Scottish fashion’ :cool:).

#12

Speaking as a woman, there is no way any guy in a kilt is getting a blowjob from me. Ever.

#13

Why would I want to wear a scratchy, heavy kilt when my sarong collection is at 12 and growing? Much more colourful and better in the heat.

#14

I had a job once where the new bosses boosses boss was a crazy assed jackass. He basically fired or ran off all the minorities. One guy got fired for having long hair. Another guy sent an email trying to be helpful and ended up getting shipped to our companies version of Siberia. And a bunch of other crazy shit. And he was a pyscho when it can to clothing issues.

I seriously thought about wearing a kilt on a regular basis just to see how it played out.

#15

It is not a shame.

Boy, talk about deal-breaking red flags. Thanks, guys, for wearing a kilt so I know to stay the hell away from you.

#16

What advantage does a kilt offer over, say, a pair of shorts? I see on the utilikilt website that they start at $150. Are you kidding? I wouldn’t even spend that much on a pair of jeans. I have yet to see someone wearing a kilt in a casual situation that didn’t look like an utter tool.

#17

There are no shoes that don’t look goofy worn with a Utilikilt.

#18

I humbly nominate my Merrel Chameleon Hikers. I’ve done 7 days on the Appalachian Trail, and my UtiliKilt was the best equipment choice I made. No chafing!:cool:

#19

Bowler hats and wolf ears also fall under this category :stuck_out_tongue:

#20

That there’s no fabric between the legs. Fabric that can chaf like a bastard if you’re doing physical work or long distance walking. Also your business is at hand without having to loosen a waist band. There’s a host of sexual advantageds of course, but it would also make it way easier to shit in the woods for those outdoorsy types

As for the complaints about wool and heat, that’s just one version designed for a certain part of the world using the materials they had on hand. It’s akin to complaining the Inuit mukluks make lousy beach sandals. If the kilt was a common garment, they’d be made out of the latest fabric and for all seasons.

Really other than some protection from biting insects, I’m trying to think of the practical advantages of pants or shorts in comparison.