The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-23-2007, 08:41 PM
SSG Schwartz SSG Schwartz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
What book titles will you never see? (But would like to)

My suggestions are
An Idiot's Guide to Weapons of Mass Destruction
Neurosurgery for Dummies


Any other suggestions?

Sgt Schwartz
__________________
Army Strong!!!
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 06-23-2007, 10:11 PM
Hung Mung Hung Mung is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
14 K of G in a FPD by Dan Brown
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-23-2007, 10:15 PM
Helena Helena is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
My husband and I were amusing ourselves in a grocery store checkout line once and came up with Ventriloquism for Dummies, Dressmaking for Dummies, and Crash-Testing for Dummies.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-24-2007, 12:30 AM
Full Metal Lotus Full Metal Lotus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
The Random Order White Pages (Alphabetical Order is for Pussys!)
Psllengi rof Lysedxics
Bubba and Billy Bob's Definitive Guide to Kabuki Theatre
Steven Hawkings Guide to Fitness through Running


FML
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-24-2007, 12:36 AM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
Elephant Whisperer
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Bangkok
Posts: 29,478
Bomb Disposal Made Easy
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 06-24-2007, 10:43 AM
Mona Lisa Simpson Mona Lisa Simpson is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
1001 Extremely Fussy recipes --(now with more impossible to find ingredients!)
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 06-24-2007, 11:20 AM
saoirse saoirse is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juliefoolie
1001 Extremely Fussy recipes --(now with more impossible to find ingredients!)
Sorry, I saw that one at B&N just yesterday.

How about If We Did It by Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

And Pecked Off Her Nose, the final installment in the Agatha Chrisite series

Last edited by saoirse; 06-24-2007 at 11:22 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 06-24-2007, 11:21 AM
Zeldar Zeldar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Altar Boys' Guide To Sodomy
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 06-24-2007, 11:22 AM
Larry Borgia Larry Borgia is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 8,954
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hung Mung
14 K of G in a FPD by Dan Brown



Teach your kitten quantum mechanics
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 06-24-2007, 11:37 AM
Tuckerfan Tuckerfan is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
My Life as Satan's Right Hand Man by Carl Rove
My Presidency Was a Mistake, and I Apologize to Everyone by George W. Bush
How to Pick Up Women by Bill Clinton
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 06-24-2007, 12:10 PM
Celyn Celyn is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Scotland
Posts: 4,545
"Stop the War Now" by Tony Blair

"Yes, Of Course I Was Elected" by Gordon Brown.

"On Civility and Moderating One's Language" by Gordon Ramsey.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-24-2007, 04:13 PM
BJMoose BJMoose is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Helena
. . . Ventriloquism for Dummies . . .
That is just plain !

After spending too much time in the latest JFK Assassination thread I find myself longing for something like I Lied Through My Teeth by Mark Lane, but that will never happen. Lemme see. . . .


Obedience for Cats


Politics as Public Service


Serene Modesty by Paris Hilton


Be Your Own Man by Ed Zotti


There goes my subscription.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-25-2007, 01:20 AM
matt_mcl matt_mcl is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
(never mind.)

Last edited by matt_mcl; 06-25-2007 at 01:20 AM.. Reason: wasn't funny
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 06-25-2007, 02:13 AM
Gukumatz Gukumatz is offline
Winter is Coming
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Oslo, Norway
Posts: 2,719
Cooking For Absolute Morons (with an infinitesmall comprehension of cooking utensils and no patience for running to obscure stories in East Delhi for ingredients)
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 06-25-2007, 02:30 AM
Hostile Dialect Hostile Dialect is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gukumatz
Cooking For Absolute Morons (with an infinitesmall comprehension of cooking utensils and no patience for running to obscure stories in East Delhi for ingredients)
FWIW, the bookstore I work in has pretty much an entire section on this very topic. Then again, East Delhi is a longer trip from here.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 06-25-2007, 02:57 AM
Tapioca Dextrin Tapioca Dextrin is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Staring blankly at my GPS
Posts: 11,640
Psychic Self Defense: a practical guide

My Big Fat Greek Wedding by Jackie O
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 06-25-2007, 03:54 AM
Derleth Derleth is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Better Living Through Death by Richard Feynman.

Appeal For Clemency by Kim Jong-il. (Not a book, but a document delivered to a markedly unimpressed World Court.)

Last Request by Fidel Castro. (Again, not quite in the book genre.)
__________________
"Ridicule is the only weapon that can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them."
If you don't stop to analyze the snot spray, you are missing that which is best in life. - Miller
I'm not sure why this is, but I actually find this idea grosser than cannibalism. - Excalibre, after reading one of my surefire million-seller business plans.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 06-25-2007, 05:08 AM
Stanislaus Stanislaus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
The Small Business Guide to Successful Tax Evasion
The Busy Traveller's Guide to Circumventing Airport Security
A Social Guide to Islamabad by Salman Rushdie
Why You Will Never Be Rich: The Wealthy Are Just Better Than You, Pauper Scum By Bill Gates and Warren Buffet

Last edited by Stanislaus; 06-25-2007 at 05:12 AM.. Reason: Redundancy and Repetition
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 06-25-2007, 06:58 AM
Johnny Hildo Johnny Hildo is offline
BANNED
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 633
Quote:
Originally Posted by amrussell
The Small Business Guide to Successful Tax Evasion
When Loompanics was still in business they had an entire section of books devoted to this very subject.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 06-25-2007, 08:27 AM
Hung Mung Hung Mung is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnny Hildo
When Loompanics was still in business they had an entire section of books devoted to this very subject.
I had no idea Loompanics was closed. I got my now-battered copy of the Principia Discordia through them. Shame, that.
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 06-25-2007, 09:05 AM
essell essell is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
The latest fashion trends in armpit hair
A univseral guide for getting companies to do what they said they would.
1001 techniques for removing a ball of matted hair from the plug hole
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-25-2007, 09:08 AM
RealityChuck RealityChuck is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Schenectady, NY, USA
Posts: 35,677
A Fundamentalist's Guide to Understanding Evolution.
101 Top Ski Vacations in Egypt.
__________________
"East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does."
Purveyor of fine science fiction since 1982.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 06-25-2007, 09:22 AM
BobLibDem BobLibDem is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
How I Rigged the 2004 Ohio Vote by Kenneth Blackwell

My Confessions by Dick Cheney

Things I Wouldn't Do by Paris Hilton

How I Won in 2008 by Mike Gravel

Me and 'Roids Broke Aaron's Record by Bobby Bonds

Our Fifth Straight NCAA Football Championship by Mark D'Antonio

Scientology is a Fraud by Tom Cruise

The New Catholic Guide for Using Birth Control Pills by Pope Benedict

Why I Hid Being a Liberal Democrat All These Years by Rush Limbaugh
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 06-25-2007, 09:33 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 32,360
Necrophilia for Dummies
Pedophilia for Dummies
The Straight Dope for Dummies (or is that called The Pit?)
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 06-25-2007, 09:36 AM
Captain Klutz Captain Klutz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by Helena
My husband and I were amusing ourselves in a grocery store checkout line once and came up with Ventriloquism for Dummies, Dressmaking for Dummies, and Crash-Testing for Dummies.
You can add Declarer Play for Dummies.
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 06-25-2007, 09:53 AM
Zeldar Zeldar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Please, anybody who remembers the thread or some keywords in it, help locate the older thread like this one where unlikely children's book titles were explored. I seem to recall just the gist of the thread and the Key Word Searches I have tried have all failed to resurrect it. As I recall, though, it was hilarious, too.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 06-25-2007, 10:20 AM
Hal Briston Hal Briston is offline
Smart, Hip, Dipstick
Moderator
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: A nice chunk o' NJ
Posts: 14,051
Quote:
Originally Posted by Siam Sam
Bomb Disposal Made Easy
Hell, why not:

Chapter One: Kicking It
Chapter Two: Whaling On It With A Hammer
Chapter Three: Repeatedly Running It Over
Chapter Four: Whipping It At Some Guy's Head

etc...etc...
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 06-25-2007, 10:25 AM
VunderBob VunderBob is online now
Mostly harmless
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The VunderLair
Posts: 14,567
All those Urban Legends are True: How we Rigged Mythbusters by Jamie Hyneman
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 06-25-2007, 10:48 AM
cmkeller cmkeller is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
I've always wanted to see this CD title, but suspect I never will:

No News is Good News, the Huey Lewis solo album.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 06-25-2007, 10:53 AM
Kozmik Kozmik is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas
The Straight Dope for Dummies (or is that called The Pit?)
HEHAHAA!! You couldn't be more right.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 06-25-2007, 11:29 AM
matt_mcl matt_mcl is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hung Mung
I had no idea Loompanics was closed. I got my now-battered copy of the Principia Discordia through them. Shame, that.
Wow, quel dommage. I got my copy of How to Start Your Own Country from them, based on Cecil's recommendation. That was a day!
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 06-25-2007, 11:38 AM
Agent Foxtrot Agent Foxtrot is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobLibDem
Things I Wouldn't Do by Paris Hilton
*ahem* The OP asked for book titles, not pamphlet titles.

What I'd like to see:

Why I Keep Running by Ralph Nader (Foreword by George W. Bush)
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Complete Idiots by Karl Rove
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 06-25-2007, 12:08 PM
Ranchoth Ranchoth is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Post-Nuclear Bombing Assessment Report, (CENTCOM) Vol. 3: "Safe Houses, Bunkers, and 'Sanctuary Zones'"

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Alternate Ending that Doesn't Make Reader want to Commit Hara-Kiri with a Thermal Lance. (Part of the Manga for People with Low Serotonin Levels series)

•Marvel's collected Civil War, written by Kornbluth and Heinlein.

Begginer's Guide to Androids, part 1: "So, you want to build a henchman..."

The Complete Guide to L/G/B/T Characters in American Animation (Vol. 2: Disney through Klasky-Csupo
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 06-25-2007, 12:16 PM
Full Metal Lotus Full Metal Lotus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Brittany Spears tell you about internodality in recursive Bach
fugues

FML
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 06-25-2007, 12:19 PM
Kozmik Kozmik is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Britney Spears & Paris Hilton: The Buddha Within
Reply With Quote
  #36  
Old 06-25-2007, 04:35 PM
Sternvogel Sternvogel is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Quote:
Originally Posted by BobLibDem[I
Me and 'Roids Broke Aaron's Record by Bobby Bonds
If you mean the guy who currently has 749 homers, his name is Barry Bonds. Bobby Bonds, his father, had "only" 332 round-trippers by comparison. As far as I know, Bobby was never suspected of using steroids.

Last edited by Sternvogel; 06-25-2007 at 04:36 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #37  
Old 06-25-2007, 05:14 PM
Hostile Dialect Hostile Dialect is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
If I Did It by Barry Bonds
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 06-25-2007, 05:47 PM
SSG Schwartz SSG Schwartz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Just thought of a couple more.

When I did it--Brittany Spears
That would be the sequel to When I did it again--the autobiography of Brittany Spears
The idiot's guide to understanding Paris Hilton

Sgt Schwartz
Reply With Quote
  #39  
Old 06-25-2007, 06:42 PM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Dogpatch/Middle TN.
Posts: 28,717
Do-It-Yourself Piracy
Ninjitsu Made Easy
How I Did It by Victor Frankenstein ("That's Fron-ken-steen".)
__________________
"He is an abomination of science that curdles the milk of all honest men!"~~One Dr Chouteh, possibly commenting on Bosda Di'Chi.Or not.

Last edited by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor; 06-25-2007 at 06:42 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #40  
Old 07-03-2007, 12:41 PM
Zeldar Zeldar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeldar
Please, anybody who remembers the thread or some keywords in it, help locate the older thread like this one where unlikely children's book titles were explored. I seem to recall just the gist of the thread and the Key Word Searches I have tried have all failed to resurrect it. As I recall, though, it was hilarious, too.
It finally occurred to me to try a Google for some of those keywords I thought I remembered and I got any number of hits. The one at this site seemed to have quite a few of the ones I remembered, including:

Quote:
1. You Are Different and That's Bad
2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
3. Dad's New Wife Robert
4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share
5. Hammers, Screwdrivers and Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
6. The Kids' Guide to Hitchhiking
7. Julie Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence
9. All Cats Go to Hell
10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched
11. Some Kittens Can Fly
12. That's it, I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
13. Grandpa Gets a Casket
14. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator
15. Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy
17. Strangers Have the Best Candy
18. Whining, Kicking and Crying to Get Your Way
19. You Were an Accident
20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
21. Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan
23. Your Nightmares Are Real
24. Mamma's on crack and I don't care
25. Eggs, Toilet Paper, and Your School
26. Why Can't Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
27. Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Reply With Quote
  #41  
Old 07-03-2007, 12:51 PM
Shagnasty Shagnasty is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Posts: 22,511
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeldar
Please, anybody who remembers the thread or some keywords in it, help locate the older thread like this one where unlikely children's book titles were explored. I seem to recall just the gist of the thread and the Key Word Searches I have tried have all failed to resurrect it. As I recall, though, it was hilarious, too.
I am a pretty good search engine myself for any thread I have ever read. Is it this one?

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...ht=book+titles
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 07-03-2007, 01:01 PM
Zeldar Zeldar is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shagnasty
I am a pretty good search engine myself for any thread I have ever read. Is it this one?

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...ht=book+titles
If that's not the one I remember, it's a great substitute. Thanks!
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 07-03-2007, 01:01 PM
tdn tdn is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeldar
It finally occurred to me to try a Google for some of those keywords I thought I remembered and I got any number of hits. The one at this site seemed to have quite a few of the ones I remembered, including:
Absent from that list are Dressing Sexy for Grownups and something like Attention Deficit Disorder and its Impact on the Lives of Chil...Hey! Let's Go Ride Our Bikes!
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 07-03-2007, 06:05 PM
racer72 racer72 is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Covington, WA
Posts: 5,378
Theft For Fun and Profit.
The History of Bowel Movements.
The Complete Unabridged Guide to Picking Your Nose.
Secret Messages Though The Years.
The Illustrated Guide to Pubic Hair Styling.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 07-03-2007, 06:26 PM
Taber Taber is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Steal that book. No, not that one, the one to the right
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 07-03-2007, 07:53 PM
DocCathode DocCathode is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
DocCathode:How To Have Sex With Him, And Give Him Money
We Did It! You Can Too!
A collaboration by: Rose McGowan, Kylie Minogue, Jennifer Tilly, Shakira and Grace Jones
__________________
Nothing is impossible if you can imagine it. That's the wonder of being a scientist!
Prof Hubert Farnsworth, Futurama
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 07-03-2007, 09:17 PM
kunilou kunilou is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Posts: 17,692
How to Make a Fortune Through Insurance Fraud

Terrorism for Dummies

Third Time's the Charm - the Complete History of Aaron Sorkin's Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

A Pictorial Biography of Cecil Adams

Ann Coulter's Critique of Pure Reason

The SDMB Technical Guide to High-Speed Servers
Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 07-04-2007, 06:39 PM
OtakuLoki OtakuLoki is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
How's about this one:

The Life-Book of Captain Jim?
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 07-04-2007, 07:05 PM
Grits and Hard Toast Grits and Hard Toast is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Home Circumsision, The Party Game

101 Insulting Replies to the Question:
"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

How to Turn Adoring Fans into People Who Hate You
By David Chase
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:12 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright © 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.