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  #1  
Old 08-17-2007, 03:20 PM
Spectre of Pithecanthropus Spectre of Pithecanthropus is offline
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Look at the bottom of your shoe. Look at your nails. Look up at the sky.

...you're a boy!

...Or you're a girl!

Does anyone remember this joke? Usually it's tiold by prepubescent boys in an effort to show that someone is unmanly; as follows:

To look at the bottom of his shoe, a boy is supposed bend his leg at the knee and hold up his shoe so he can look down at it, in front of him, while a girl sticks her foot straight back and then twists her body to look at it.

To look at his nails a boy holds his hands palm up and and curls his fingers so the nails show, but a girl holds her hands palms down and fingers straight out, and a little splayed.

To look at the sky the boy glances up for, preferably, less than a second. A girl looks at it longer, and may twist her head off the central meridian.

Soo....does anyone know where and when this originated?
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  #2  
Old 08-17-2007, 03:29 PM
Phlosphr Phlosphr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spectre of Pithecanthropus
...you're a boy!

...Or you're a girl!

Does anyone remember this joke? Usually it's tiold by prepubescent boys in an effort to show that someone is unmanly; as follows:

To look at the bottom of his shoe, a boy is supposed bend his leg at the knee and hold up his shoe so he can look down at it, in front of him, while a girl sticks her foot straight back and then twists her body to look at it.

To look at his nails a boy holds his hands palm up and and curls his fingers so the nails show, but a girl holds her hands palms down and fingers straight out, and a little splayed.

To look at the sky the boy glances up for, preferably, less than a second. A girl looks at it longer, and may twist her head off the central meridian.

Soo....does anyone know where and when this originated?
Playground #33 at Springfield Elementary?

I must be a hermaphrodite - I put my foot up and twisted my body around. And I'm a guy. The rest were accurate
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  #3  
Old 08-17-2007, 04:10 PM
tomndebb tomndebb is offline
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I never heard the sky bit. We substituted sweaters/T-shirts.

(Guys grab the back of the neck-hole and haul up; girls gather it from the bottom with crossed arms and lift. This may have become outdated as guys had to start paying for their own overpriced sweaters before stretching them out of shape.)
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  #4  
Old 08-17-2007, 04:13 PM
Refulgent Cynosure Refulgent Cynosure is offline
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I dunno. But I'm so totally a boy in the first respect. I confess to doing the girly nail thing.
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  #5  
Old 08-17-2007, 04:16 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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I'm a girl and I grab my sweater/t-shirt from the collar and yank up. That's pretty much how I take everything off. My reasoning: grabbing from the bottom turns it inside out.
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  #6  
Old 08-17-2007, 04:20 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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First time I ever heard any of these, it was the first two and it was a Gay Test on an episode of Murphy Brown. The guy did one the Gay Way and one the Straight Way, but I don't remember which was which.
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  #7  
Old 08-17-2007, 04:20 PM
stolichnaya stolichnaya is offline
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The nails one makes sense. I am typically looking at my nails to see if they are unpresentably dirty, and the loose fist gives you a better perspective on the under-nail area. Also makes the thumb available to pull the pad of the finger away from the nail and Really See What's Going On Under There.

Whereas, if I spent forty bucks getting my nails done, I'd sure as hell want to see them in context. It's pretty safe to say that men spend less on manicures than women.

And the one about ths sky is easy. I grew up as a boy. If someone told me to look at the sky, I would expect a punch in the gut or a tap in the balls to be quickly forthcoming.
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  #8  
Old 08-17-2007, 04:27 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stolichnaya
I grew up as a boy.
Something you haven't told us?
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  #9  
Old 08-17-2007, 04:27 PM
Bobotheoptimist Bobotheoptimist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stolichnaya
And the one about ths sky is easy. I grew up as a boy. If someone told me to look at the sky, I would expect a punch in the gut or a tap in the balls to be quickly forthcoming.
Ah! So little girls don't expect a sucker-punch? I, amazingly, also grew up as a boy and then had two sons (and no daughters) so I've not had much experience with them.

When do they punch each other? When one is looking at the sole of her shoe, maybe?
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  #10  
Old 08-17-2007, 04:39 PM
Freudian Slit Freudian Slit is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobotheoptimist
Ah! So little girls don't expect a sucker-punch? I, amazingly, also grew up as a boy and then had two sons (and no daughters) so I've not had much experience with them.

When do they punch each other? When one is looking at the sole of her shoe, maybe?
Nah. More like, wait till she's looking at her shoe and say, "You have weird shoes. You can't sit with me at lunch today, sorry." Ah, girl world.
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  #11  
Old 08-17-2007, 05:49 PM
lowbrass lowbrass is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phlosphr
Playground #33 at Springfield Elementary?
It was invented by the same person who wrote the "Nyaah....nyah, nyah, nyaah...nyaah" chant.
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  #12  
Old 08-17-2007, 06:54 PM
Unauthorized Cinnamon Unauthorized Cinnamon is offline
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The shoe one strikes me as a wardrobe issue. If you're wearing a skirt, especially a short or straight one, you can't really spread your thighs and flip your foot up in front - well, not with any dignity. So you're reduced to sticking it up in back and looking over your shoulder.

Since I hardly ever wear skirts, I pictured myself doing it the "man" way when reading the OP.

(It reminds me of the scene in Huck Finn when he gets caught crossdressing. The woman figures him out because when something falls in his lap, he snaps his legs shut to catch it. Obviously a girl would open her legs to let her long skirt act as a safety net for the object, so he must be a boy.)
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  #13  
Old 08-17-2007, 07:52 PM
groman groman is offline
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American Dad on how to spot a gay
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  #14  
Old 08-17-2007, 08:16 PM
phouka phouka is offline
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You know, I'm sure I came with the double X chromosomes as standard equipment, yet I do everything in that list as though I were a guy.

*sigh*
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  #15  
Old 08-17-2007, 09:11 PM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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Wasn't there a scene in either Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn where Tom (or Huck) was dressed as a girl, and someone tossed him a ball? Tom (or Huck) closed his legs when he caught the ball, which instantly gave away his boy-ness, because a girl would open her legs to catch the ball in the folds of her skirt.
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  #16  
Old 08-17-2007, 09:43 PM
Green Bean Green Bean is offline
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Very interesting.

I'd look at the sole of my shoe like a boy. While I do wear skirts frequently, they're almost always long skirts, and so it would not be "immodest" to do that the "boy" way. If I was wearing a pencil skirt, I guess I'd pretty much have to do it the girl way!

I'd absolutely look at my nails like a girl. That was funny, what stolichnaya said about seeing the nails "in context," but he's right! (pauses a second to admire her shiny red fingernails...the girly way.)

And I probably would gaze at the sky for a few seconds. Can't say I've ever been suckerpunched.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kunilou
Wasn't there a scene in either Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn where Tom (or Huck) was dressed as a girl, and someone tossed him a ball? Tom (or Huck) closed his legs when he caught the ball, which instantly gave away his boy-ness, because a girl would open her legs to catch the ball in the folds of her skirt.
Yup. See post #12.
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  #17  
Old 08-17-2007, 09:47 PM
Boozahol Squid, P.I. Boozahol Squid, P.I. is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kunilou
Wasn't there a scene in either Tom Sawyer or Huckleberry Finn where Tom (or Huck) was dressed as a girl, and someone tossed him a ball? Tom (or Huck) closed his legs when he caught the ball, which instantly gave away his boy-ness, because a girl would open her legs to catch the ball in the folds of her skirt.
Right general idea, but not quite. Huck gives himself away by throwing well (when trying to nail a rat skittering on the floor). He catches himself, however, and throws wildly after his first shot nearly hit. He alter drops a clue of yarn into his lap, and closes his knees rather than do the skirt trick.

Last edited by Diomedes; 08-17-2007 at 09:48 PM.. Reason: didn't spell rite
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  #18  
Old 08-18-2007, 12:55 AM
Leiko Leiko is offline
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According to the test I may or may not be a boy. I do boy shoes always, girl nails sometimes, and am evenly split on the sky.

But I've always, always, always hated bending over backwards- even if I was wearing a fairly short skirt I'd rather risk the flashing and put my foot forward, that's how much I hate bending back. The nails depend on whether it's to see how the polish is (girl style) or how long and clean they are (boy style.)

The sky depends on what's in the sky when I look up at first. If it's interesting, of course I'll look around more.
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  #19  
Old 08-18-2007, 02:16 AM
Autolycus Autolycus is offline
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If it's anything like "Can your elbows touch behind your back?" then I imagine it goes back to the dawn of clothing.
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  #20  
Old 08-18-2007, 02:23 AM
stolichnaya stolichnaya is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KneadToKnow
Quote:
Originally Posted by stolichnaya
I grew up as a boy.
Something you haven't told us?
You got me. I suppose I did not really "grow up".
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  #21  
Old 08-18-2007, 02:30 AM
TJdude825 TJdude825 is offline
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I've actually noticed there are about 3 ways to take off a t-shirt.

Grab at the bottom and pull up in one smooth motion, which turns it inside out. This is, if I may stereotype, the way women use most of the time.

Grab the back of the collar and pull off in one smooth motion. I associate this with gay men, or men trying to be smooth and sexy.

Pull your arms through the sleeves one at a time so that they're both completely inside the shirt. Wiggle your way out ungracefully. This is definitely a much more "guy" method than the other two.

Of course, these are just generalizations.
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  #22  
Old 08-18-2007, 08:42 AM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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(oops)

Last edited by KneadToKnow; 08-18-2007 at 08:44 AM.. Reason: To remove badly thought-out post.
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  #23  
Old 08-18-2007, 11:26 AM
yabob yabob is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJdude825
I've actually noticed there are about 3 ways to take off a t-shirt.

Grab at the bottom and pull up in one smooth motion, which turns it inside out. This is, if I may stereotype, the way women use most of the time.

Grab the back of the collar and pull off in one smooth motion. I associate this with gay men, or men trying to be smooth and sexy.

Pull your arms through the sleeves one at a time so that they're both completely inside the shirt. Wiggle your way out ungracefully. This is definitely a much more "guy" method than the other two.

Of course, these are just generalizations.
The "grab at the bottom" has a couple of variants, and you can also tug at the front or sides of the collar. Women often do that crossed arms thing that I don't get. You can also tug from the bottom without crossing your arms, placing the elbow of your dominant hand against your body and bending up the bottom of the shirt so it passes over your forearm almost immediately, making it easier to manipulate from the inside. Also ungraceful. I do this sometimes, and grab the collar sometimes (by the front, not the back). Balances stretching out the bottom of the t-shirt with stretching out the collar.

I think the "crossed arms" variant is overwhelmingly female. I've never seen a guy do it.
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  #24  
Old 08-18-2007, 12:05 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJdude825
Grab the back of the collar and pull off in one smooth motion. I associate this with gay men, or men trying to be smooth and sexy.
Okay, I think I can respond to this without getting all defensive now.

I pull off my (pull-on) shirts this way, but it's a simple matter of pragmatics: having an above-average size noggin, I have to do it this way to get the neckhole of the shirt stretched out a little so my head can get through it. Pulling up from the bottom invariably leads to the shirt trying to take most of my face with it.
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  #25  
Old 08-18-2007, 01:08 PM
groman groman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KneadToKnow
I pull off my (pull-on) shirts this way, but it's a simple matter of pragmatics: having an above-average size noggin, I have to do it this way to get the neckhole of the shirt stretched out a little so my head can get through it. Pulling up from the bottom invariably leads to the shirt trying to take most of my face with it.
I'm a little confused here. I have a rather large nogging as well and that makes no sense to me.

I just tried it and I take off T-shirts by grabbing the shirt on the front of the collar with two hands and pulling straight up across my face. Why would you contort yourself and grab the back of the collar? Wouldn't that run the front side of the collar accross your face?
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  #26  
Old 08-18-2007, 01:23 PM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJdude825
I've actually noticed there are about 3 ways to take off a t-shirt.

Grab at the bottom and pull up in one smooth motion, which turns it inside out. This is, if I may stereotype, the way women use most of the time.

Grab the back of the collar and pull off in one smooth motion. I associate this with gay men, or men trying to be smooth and sexy.

Pull your arms through the sleeves one at a time so that they're both completely inside the shirt. Wiggle your way out ungracefully. This is definitely a much more "guy" method than the other two.

Of course, these are just generalizations.
I'm a female and I usually use the last method, then the pull off by the collar method and rarely do I use the "girly method". I only use that method if I'm really hot, tired and just want to get the shirt off and don't care about getting the shirt inside out.

As for the other things I also use the "guy method" on most, except maybe looking at the sky. I only use the girly method for looking at my fingernails if I just gave myself a manicure.
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  #27  
Old 08-18-2007, 01:23 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by groman
Wouldn't that run the front side of the collar accross your face?
Nope. Here's how I do it, from memory (I'm at work, so I can't exactly follow along): Reach up to back of collar with one hand. Pull collar band up and over head, it stretches and catches under my chin, sort of pivoting around my head. Keep pulling until my head clears the back of the shirt. Then out comes whichever arm isn't doing the pulling, then the shirt slides down the remaining arm to the hand which tosses it into the hamper.

Last edited by KneadToKnow; 08-18-2007 at 01:27 PM.. Reason: Trying for clarity.
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  #28  
Old 08-18-2007, 01:29 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wile E
I only use that method if I'm really hot
So, are you really hot?

Bow-chicka-wow.



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  #29  
Old 08-18-2007, 03:23 PM
Dragonblink Dragonblink is offline
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I take off shirts by pulling one arm out of the sleeve and out the bottom of the shirt, and using that to pull it over my head and off the other arm. I think I unconsciously developed that technique because it involves the least amount of "arms pinned to side" or "shirt blocking face" time.

How I look at my nails depends on whether I'm checking for dirt or checking my polish. Likewise with the shoes, depending on whether I think I may have stepped in something innocuous or whether I think I stepped in dog poo (which I wouldn't want to get near my hands or my pants). And the sky -- is it daylight, with the sun overhead? Or would I be looking at a sunset, or stars?

I guess I'm just totally gender-confused ...
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  #30  
Old 08-18-2007, 04:28 PM
Captain Carrot Captain Carrot is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJdude825
Grab the back of the collar and pull off in one smooth motion. I associate this with gay men, or men trying to be smooth and sexy.
Or in my case, grab the back of the collar and pull it off in several tugs.
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  #31  
Old 08-18-2007, 11:47 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
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I remember the nail thing from when I was a kid in the late '50s-early '60s. It was a test for teh gay, and nobody (especially us fags) would get caught looking at his fingers the wrong way.

T-shirt: Lift up the front of the collar til it gets caught on the forehead, then lift the rest from the back.

Before this thread, I never understood why my 21-years-ago ex's t-shirt were always inside-out when I did the laundry.
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  #32  
Old 08-19-2007, 12:03 AM
groman groman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45
Before this thread, I never understood why my 21-years-ago ex's t-shirt were always inside-out when I did the laundry.
You never saw them take off a t-shirt?
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  #33  
Old 08-19-2007, 01:26 AM
elfkin477 elfkin477 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KneadToKnow
Nope. Here's how I do it, from memory (I'm at work, so I can't exactly follow along): Reach up to back of collar with one hand. Pull collar band up and over head, it stretches and catches under my chin, sort of pivoting around my head. Keep pulling until my head clears the back of the shirt. Then out comes whichever arm isn't doing the pulling, then the shirt slides down the remaining arm to the hand which tosses it into the hamper.
I tried this just now and nearly strangled myself. Clearly, I need to watch more men take off their shirts
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  #34  
Old 08-19-2007, 01:13 PM
The Them The Them is offline
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Good thought question, Spectre.
I guess I'm all boy. "Looking at the sky" would entail glancing up (without moving my head) while keeping the other guy in view to guard against aforementioned suckerpunches.
For t-shirts, I put one hand to my other wrist under the shirt, yank off that arm, then use my free arm to pull the shirt over my head and other arm at the same time. I do it real fast; I had to go get a t-shirt and do this in slomo to figure out exactly what my methodology was.
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  #35  
Old 08-19-2007, 02:04 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by elfkin477
I tried this just now and nearly strangled myself. Clearly, I need to watch more men take off their shirts
I'm sure I could arrange some private tutoring sessions.
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  #36  
Old 08-19-2007, 04:42 PM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KneadToKnow
So, are you really hot?

Bow-chicka-wow.



Eye of the beholder, but thank you for the porn music.


Now, that I see other explanations I think I actually do the "pull one arm inside the shirt first" thing.
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  #37  
Old 08-19-2007, 09:53 PM
Rucksinator Rucksinator is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TJdude825
......Pull your arms through the sleeves one at a time so that they're both completely inside the shirt. Wiggle your way out ungracefully. This is definitely a much more "guy" method than the other two...
IME, the only people that use the first half of this method are women who subsequently remove their bras without exposing themselves. There's really no other reason to go to this much trouble to take off a shirt.
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  #38  
Old 08-19-2007, 10:48 PM
Autolycus Autolycus is offline
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I know I've led a sheltered life, but I must say I never knew how many different ways there were to take off a T-shirt.

So far we have:

1)Both arms inside, pull off from top front. (the way I do it).
2)One arm inside, pull off from top front.
3)No arms inside, one-handed pull off from back of neck and work the way up and over.
4)No arms inside, two-handed pull off from back of neck
5)No arms inside, pull from bottom of t-shirt up and over. AKA "the sexy way."

Are there any more?
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  #39  
Old 08-20-2007, 10:30 AM
Sailboat Sailboat is online now
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Originally Posted by KneadToKnow
then the shirt slides down the remaining arm to the hand which tosses it into the hamper.
Busted! If you put your shirts directly in the hamper while getting undressed, your Guy Status may be in peril. Aren't you supposed to get yelled at for leaving it on the floor first? It's in the manual somewhere.

Sailboat
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  #40  
Old 08-20-2007, 11:23 AM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sailboat
Busted! If you put your shirts directly in the hamper while getting undressed, your Guy Status may be in peril. Aren't you supposed to get yelled at for leaving it on the floor first? It's in the manual somewhere.

Sailboat
Okay, okay, I confess.

I actually sort of wad it up in that hand, then drop-kick it into the hamper. If you make a sport out of it, even if it's a sport you don't care for, doesn't that re-affirm Guy Status?
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  #41  
Old 08-20-2007, 01:51 PM
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Real Men rip their shirts off.

Sincerely,
James T. Kirk
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  #42  
Old 08-20-2007, 02:52 PM
kidchameleon kidchameleon is offline
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Does the 'girly' method have anything to do with avoiding getting make up on the shirt?
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  #43  
Old 08-20-2007, 03:09 PM
Lunar Saltlick Lunar Saltlick is offline
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Right hand grabs left shirt sleeve and pulls down hard so that left shoulder and arm come out through neckhole. Left hand does the same, grabbing right bottom of shirt sleeve. Both hands pull shirt down over hips and legs. Gets easier as neckhole becomes outrageously stretched. Remember those really wide collar sweaters from the eighties? I invented those.
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  #44  
Old 08-20-2007, 06:16 PM
JSexton JSexton is offline
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Originally Posted by furryman
Real Men rip their shirts off.
...using only the flexing power of their pectoral muscles.
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  #45  
Old 08-20-2007, 06:37 PM
KneadToKnow KneadToKnow is offline
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Oops. Khan Noonien Singh is signed on to JSexton's account again!
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  #46  
Old 08-20-2007, 07:56 PM
Little Nemo Little Nemo is offline
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The bottom of your shoes? Your fingernails? The sky?

The next time you're trying to figure out if you're a boy or a girl, just take the easy route and look in your underwear.
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  #47  
Old 08-20-2007, 08:27 PM
Autolycus Autolycus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Nemo
The bottom of your shoes? Your fingernails? The sky?

The next time you're trying to figure out if you're a boy or a girl, just take the easy route and look in your underwear.
The more one puts into life, the more one gets out of it.
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  #48  
Old 08-21-2007, 12:31 PM
Wonderwall6129 Wonderwall6129 is offline
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I take off my shirt 2 ways:

1.) cross arms at bottom, peel up. (The "sexy" way, as I guess we're calling it now.)
2.) Pull arms inside sleeves, raise arms. (I do it with a shirt I only wore for a short time, because it's not dirty, therefore I can put it away again, and doing it that way makes it so that it's not inside-out.)
I do the first one about 85% of the time though.
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  #49  
Old 08-21-2007, 02:51 PM
Chronos Chronos is online now
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Does the test say anything about people who, when they look at the sky, reflexively throw up their arms to encircle the front of their heads at eye level? I do that, because I'm an amateur astronomer, and I can block out most of the light pollution on the horizon that way.
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Old 08-21-2007, 03:14 PM
Morbo Morbo is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: 123 Fake Street
Posts: 9,648
I would never have done *any* of these things, as I grew up the youngest of five boys (and no girls).

"Look at the bottom of your shoe." ::pushes me over::

"Look at your nails." :pushes fist into my nose::

"Look at the sky" ::snowball in the newly-exposed throat region::

The likelihood of me responding would have been about as high as "you spilled something on your shirt" - which is to say, zero.

Last edited by Morbo; 08-21-2007 at 03:15 PM.. Reason: Disabled smilies
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