"The Love Guru" - Epic suck on the way

Cafe Society
1

Just saw the trailer for Mike Myers latest alleged comedy The Love Guru. He’s apparently a failed self-help expert with an offensive Indian persona who–for reasons only plausible in movies like this–must get a star NHL player back together with his wife in time for a Stanley Cup game. On, and Jessica Alba’s in it. And that guy who played mini-me–wht’s his gnome–er, name; yes, that is one of the jokes in the trailer.

It may not be fair to judge from a 2-minute trailer, but I’ll go out on a limb and nominate this for the end-of-year worst-pictures list. Watch it and decide for yourself…

2

Oof. I just watched it, and just about turned into stone.

3

Saw a longish commercial for it during last night’s Daily Show; for the first time, the 30-second skip button on my DVR wasn’t fast enough.

4

Jhimi Mistry did this much better in The Guru, I’m sure.

5

I think it is a new advertising method. You know how in most movie trailers they put the best scene in? Well with this they are saving the best bits for the film itself and are only putting the bad bits in the teaser.

No, huh?

Yeah, it looks suckalicious.

6

It makes Witless Protection look good.

Almost.

7

Oh good lord… The sad thing? I kinda like the premise. But… I don’t like Mike Meyers that much, and… Ow… That preview… I can’t unsee it! Ow ow ow!

8

If they had put as much effort into the script as they did in the web design, they might have achieved mediocrity.

God, did that look awful. Sub-Three-Stooges slapstick and a wit that makes you long for the Ritz Brothers.

And a black hockey player? I know there are a handful, but why? You have to jump through hoops just to justify it.

9

Didn’t they already make a comedy called the Guru back in '02? Okay…the more I look at it on IMDB, the less comic it seems. It certainly was billed as a comedy though.

10

Actually, The Guru was pretty good. Very cute, good performances, good music. The cast was great. Supervenusfreak and I both enjoyed it quite a lot.

11

Ooh, and it starred Jimi Mistry, the sexiest Indian bloke ever (well…before Kal Penn made med school cheetah riding stoner my new fetish).

12

Yep. Jimi Mistry AND Bobby Cannavale, which was like…heaven with bonus points.

13

I saw the same long commercial. I like Mike Meyers and it looks terrible. I guess he has run out of material.

14

That tread title is really misleading.

I thought this thread would be far more instructional.

15

You’ll have to forgive menif this isn’at typed as well as i’d like but I gjust got done GOUGING OUT MY EYES!

GAAAHH!

16

Did Justin Timberlake remind anyone else of Hank Azaria in The Birdcage?

17

Yeah, it’s like remaking Harold & Kumar but casting white guys as the two leads without changing their races.

18

Well, I guess I’ll be the first one to say it doesn’t look all that bad. It’s his same old schtick, but he does that pretty well. It has that “it’s so stupid it’s a little funny” vibe to it.

I bet it will use a bunch of the old Austin Powers gags (ie gnome vs mole; hopefully not as much as Austin Powers 2.) I’ll reserve my judgement until I see another preview. I thought the website was pretty cool though.

19

You know, I’ll give this half a break. It has to be better than his fellow SNL alum Dana Carvey’s worst movie “Master of Disguise”. Hell, “Manos:The Hands of Fate” is better than “Master of Disguise”.

20

Mike Myers blew his entire creative load in the Austin Powers series and it began to wear thin by the third installment.
This looks to be an attempt to revive the same type of movie that audiences had already tired of. Even his character sounds like we’ve already heard it before.