The title may need a few more words than will fit in the space.
If you’re like I am, whenever I hear a particularly effective expression, no matter who used it, I take it on as my own and continue using it whenever the occasion arises. Many of my favorites I only heard once or twice and never again since. If you have some similar to these, and don’t mind the Doper Kingdom having a shot at ripping them off, please share.
-The car came uncranked (it stopped running)
-I want a big group of water (to the waitress)
-He’s a cool breeze (of someone dressed like a pimp)
-I used to grow up there (as opposed to grew up)
-He didn’t give me a selection (from One Eyed Jacks) = I didn’t have a choice
Since these may be a bit off-color, I’ll spoiler them for the benefit of keeping the thread family friendly.
[spoiler]Instead of firestorm, especially when all Hell is breaking loose: shitstorm
I asked my brother about the whereabouts of one of our nosy cousins who is forever poking into everybody’s affairs. His reply, “She broke out in little bitty assholes and shit herself to death.”
Not quite as uncommon as I’m hoping to find with this thread: hotter than a fresh-fucked fox in a forest fire[/spoiler]
For the family:
(pull down your lower eyelid while saying) See anybody in there that cares?
“We’re not building a Swiss watch here” (used when someone is being overly and inappropriately exact about something - cutting drywall to the half millimeter for example)
I’ve only ever heard one person say this, and I think she made it up, but I’ve adopted “I gotta pee like a monkey!” Yes, it’s nonsensical, but I do not care. My alternative (stolen from the same girl) is “pee like the wind.”
I’m not sure if this one’s widely said, but when a situation is tolerable-to-good, I do love to say “It beats a sharp stick-in-the-eye!” (The hyphens are important here, because the emphasis is on stick, not eye.) Thanks for that one, grandma, and also for “Shut that pneumonia-hole!” (the door/window.)
My grandmother used to say “lawzamercy,” and every now and then I do, too. It just comes blurting out without my intending to say it. I find this rather embarrassing. It’s as if I am suddenly channelling Butterfly McQueen.
There’s various ones I use when teaching, to substitute for where I normally swear. Something ‘going squiffy’ replaces ‘getting fucked up’. I can’t think of others off-hand, they seem to come out of nowhere. Except for when I just swear :smack: