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  #1  
Old 04-15-2008, 10:07 PM
Renee Renee is offline
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Open toed shoes at a funeral?

I'll be attending a funeral soon, and the only black dress shoes I have are open-toed. Do I have to buy new ones, or will these work? http://picasaweb.google.com/raenjapa...74258276387490
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  #2  
Old 04-15-2008, 10:20 PM
Tabula Rasa Tabula Rasa is offline
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Unless this funeral is of some special in-denial-about-toes religious variety, those shoes will be fine.
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  #3  
Old 04-15-2008, 10:38 PM
Runs With Scissors Runs With Scissors is offline
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With dark hose?
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  #4  
Old 04-15-2008, 11:20 PM
Renee Renee is offline
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Ack! Do I have to wear hose? I'm wearing a calf-length skirt. I hate this.
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  #5  
Old 04-15-2008, 11:21 PM
HazelNutCoffee HazelNutCoffee is offline
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You can't wear hose with open toed shoes. Good Lord.

Just make sure your toes aren't painted scarlet and it should be fine.
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  #6  
Old 04-15-2008, 11:42 PM
tremorviolet tremorviolet is offline
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While I don't like open toed shoes for formal-ish events (including the office), I realize I'm a bit curmudgeonly and it seems to have become a generally accepted practice. Like HNC says, just don't wear flamboyant toe nail polish; as long as the rest of your outfit is conservative (no cleavage), you'll be gold.

Last edited by tremorviolet; 04-15-2008 at 11:42 PM..
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  #7  
Old 04-15-2008, 11:51 PM
Omniscient Omniscient is offline
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You'll be fine. Your footwear will be the last thing on anyones mind.
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  #8  
Old 04-15-2008, 11:56 PM
Khampelf Khampelf is offline
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Open toed shoes at a funeral?

As long as they match your tube top, and you don't spill your beer in the coffin.



ETA: while this is the way it really strikes me, no one is likely to really notice your shoes, but if they do...

Last edited by The Sonoran Lizard King; 04-15-2008 at 11:57 PM..
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  #9  
Old 04-16-2008, 12:38 AM
NinetyWt NinetyWt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelNutCoffee
You can't wear hose with open toed shoes. Good Lord.
Ain't that what they make sandalfoot hose for?

Those particular shoes look fine. Something too vampy might not. Although, people should be just glad you came even if you wear your 'kini.
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  #10  
Old 04-16-2008, 02:38 AM
Audrey Levins Audrey Levins is offline
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I think hosiery with open-toed shoes of any kind is the only potential crime here, funeral or otherwise; those shoes are fine. Even if your nails are painted vamp-red; honestly, I don't see the point of removing toenail polish to attend a funeral. Would you remove a manicure in an "inappropriate" color? Is red nail polish "disrespectful" to the dead? This is silly.

Nobody's going to be looking at your feet anyway.
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  #11  
Old 04-16-2008, 02:44 AM
atomicbadgerrace atomicbadgerrace is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Sonoran Lizard King
ETA: while this is the way it really strikes me, no one is likely to really notice your shoes, but if they do...
...then, what?
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  #12  
Old 04-16-2008, 05:30 AM
DianaG DianaG is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinetyWt
Ain't that what they make sandalfoot hose for? .
No. A million times no. It's hose or toes, ladies. Pick one.

I agree that those will be fine as long as the rest of your outfit is conservative, which it should be anyway, at a funeral.

Last edited by DianaG; 04-16-2008 at 05:31 AM..
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  #13  
Old 04-16-2008, 06:31 AM
Unintentionally Blank Unintentionally Blank is offline
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Yes, but only if your wear tartan socks.


Send pics.

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  #14  
Old 04-16-2008, 07:19 AM
ASAKMOTSD ASAKMOTSD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Sonoran Lizard King
As long as they match your tube top, and you don't spill your beer in the coffin.
For gosh sake, use a coaster on the coffin! You don't want to leave a ring!
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  #15  
Old 04-16-2008, 08:43 AM
Eureka Eureka is offline
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I can assure you that at my grandmother's funeral at the beginning of September 2007, sandals outnumbered other footwear*, and only 2 people were observed to be wearing hose.

If you will be attending the burial at the cemetary, think twice about wearing anything you can't walk on grass with comfortably, especially if it's been raining recently. But that's a common sense thing, not a fashion thing.

*On ladies, that is. The men wore proper men's dress shoes.
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  #16  
Old 04-16-2008, 09:01 AM
The Chao Goes Mu The Chao Goes Mu is offline
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I think they would be fine and they look like nice shoes.

-Chao, who has been to her Grandma's funeral where a distant cousin showed up with white pumps that she colored black with a permanent marker.
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  #17  
Old 04-16-2008, 09:01 AM
Dangerosa Dangerosa is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eureka
If you will be attending the burial at the cemetary, think twice about wearing anything you can't walk on grass with comfortably, especially if it's been raining recently. But that's a common sense thing, not a fashion thing.
Having learned this the hard way (spikey heels sinking in dirt graveside and having to wander halfway up a steep hill to get to the gravesite on grass in the darn things), if there is ANY chance I'm going to be graveside, its long black slacks and black loafers or flats of some sort.

And if there is any chance my grandmother will be there, I will end up going graveside to support her - which can't be done in spikey heels.
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  #18  
Old 04-16-2008, 09:35 AM
chowder chowder is offline
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If they were OK for Jesus' disciples they'll be OK for you
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  #19  
Old 04-16-2008, 09:37 AM
Zsofia Zsofia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinetyWt
Ain't that what they make sandalfoot hose for?

Those particular shoes look fine. Something too vampy might not. Although, people should be just glad you came even if you wear your 'kini.
No. You are not a duck and do not want webbed feet.
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  #20  
Old 04-16-2008, 09:38 AM
phouka phouka is online now
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In order of priority:

- get to the funeral to show your respects, even if you must go shoeless
- wear shoes that keep you safe with regards to graveside services and walking distances
- wear shoes that are at least business appropriate to show your respect for the occasion and the deceased
- wear shoes that are comfortable enough to last the day
- wear shoes that make you happy

If you can get the first three, everything else is gravy.
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  #21  
Old 04-16-2008, 10:01 AM
velvetjones velvetjones is offline
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I think those shoes are fine, unless you wore something wildly inappropriate no one will even notice.

I agree that you may want to consider whether or not you'll have to walk through the grass in those, not impossible but kind of a pain.

And, while I wore pantyhose with open toed shoes when I was a teenager back in the '70s, here in FL it's considered very tacky to wear open toed shoes with panty hose but I realize that may be different for people who live in cooler climates.
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  #22  
Old 04-16-2008, 10:56 AM
Dangerosa Dangerosa is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by velvetjones
I think those shoes are fine, unless you wore something wildly inappropriate no one will even notice.

I agree that you may want to consider whether or not you'll have to walk through the grass in those, not impossible but kind of a pain.

And, while I wore pantyhose with open toed shoes when I was a teenager back in the '70s, here in FL it's considered very tacky to wear open toed shoes with panty hose but I realize that may be different for people who live in cooler climates.
I live in Minnesota and its still .... I hesitate to say tacky ....."fashion innocent." You wear closed toe shoes in the winter or when you need to wear hose.
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  #23  
Old 04-16-2008, 11:08 AM
Skald the Rhymer Skald the Rhymer is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Renee
I'll be attending a funeral soon, and the only black dress shoes I have are open-toed. Do I have to buy new ones, or will these work? http://picasaweb.google.com/raenjapa...74258276387490

I have been to a depressing number of funerals recently. No one will give a damn. They'll be too busy, you know, grieving.

Just don't send text messages during the eulogy like my idiot cousins during during Aunt Gigi's funeral.
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  #24  
Old 04-16-2008, 12:09 PM
mazinger_z mazinger_z is offline
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Unbelievable! What's next? White shoes after labor day?
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  #25  
Old 04-16-2008, 12:18 PM
ThirdOne ThirdOne is offline
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Once upon a time, at the dawn of history, only black was acceptable. We wore gloves and hats to weddings and black was an absolute no-no on anyone; white shoes/handbags (they HAD to match) were only worn/used Memorial Day to Labor Day. Then, it was black or whatever dark colour. Today, bridesmaids, mothers of the bride and/or groom wear black to weddings.

"Fashion" has changed drastically over the years. I agree with no bright toenail polish, but I see nothing wrong with the shoes.

Just my 2 cents.
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  #26  
Old 04-16-2008, 12:31 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinetyWt
Ain't that what they make sandalfoot hose for?
Are you talking about the ones that have a hole at the end for your toes? Because those are just satanic, fashion-wise.


Renee, I'm sorry to hear that you have to attend. Was this someone close?
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  #27  
Old 04-16-2008, 12:33 PM
Khampelf Khampelf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atomicbadgerrace
...then, what?

Then they may think that Renee's footwear is inappropriate.
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  #28  
Old 04-16-2008, 01:51 PM
Zabali_Clawbane Zabali_Clawbane is offline
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It's Spring, open toed shoes that aren't too flashy, and are black are acceptable. Open toed shoes in the winter though, wouldn't be comfy.
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  #29  
Old 04-16-2008, 02:16 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Sonoran Lizard King
Then they may think that Renee's footwear is inappropriate.

It is?
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  #30  
Old 04-16-2008, 04:49 PM
NinetyWt NinetyWt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinastasia
Are you talking about the ones that have a hole at the end for your toes?
I think that's what they call footless tights. Or something.

Sheer-toe hose is probably what I meant.

And I've never heard of not wearing hose with open-toed shoes. That plain puzzles me.
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  #31  
Old 04-16-2008, 04:50 PM
Renee Renee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinastasia
Are you talking about the ones that have a hole at the end for your toes? Because those are just satanic, fashion-wise.


Renee, I'm sorry to hear that you have to attend. Was this someone close?
Thanks. It's my father in law--he actually isn't dead yet, but he's in the end stages of cancer, and probably only has a few days. We're flying to the states today to be with him. He's a good man, and we will miss him.

Thanks for the shoe advice, everyone. I think they should be fine.
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  #32  
Old 04-16-2008, 04:51 PM
NinetyWt NinetyWt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zabali_Clawbane
Open toed shoes in the winter though, wouldn't be comfy.
In some locales winter != cold. I don't know if it's cold where Renee is right now, or not.
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  #33  
Old 04-16-2008, 04:54 PM
ShelliBean ShelliBean is offline
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NinetyWt
I am moving to MS in a month or so. If I ever catch you out with sandals or open toed shoes and hose, I will personally steal every pair of pantyhose you own and stalk you at Wal-Mart when you try to buy replacements.


It's just one of those things that friends don't let friends do.
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  #34  
Old 04-16-2008, 05:01 PM
Zabali_Clawbane Zabali_Clawbane is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinetyWt
In some locales winter != cold. I don't know if it's cold where Renee is right now, or not.

Well, but winter in those places often means rain, right? Open toed shoes in the mud....not good.
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  #35  
Old 04-16-2008, 05:09 PM
Scarlett67 Scarlett67 is online now
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I'm just glad to hear that you're taking the trouble to dress appropriately, instead of in old jeans and sneakers and your "I'm with Stupid" T-shirt. Too much of that sort of thing at the funerals I've been to in the last few years.
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  #36  
Old 04-16-2008, 05:25 PM
ouryL ouryL is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Renee
I'll be attending a funeral soon, and the only black dress shoes I have are open-toed. Do I have to buy new ones, or will these work? http://picasaweb.google.com/raenjapa...74258276387490
Black stockings?
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  #37  
Old 04-16-2008, 05:25 PM
Mrs Johnson Mrs Johnson is offline
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Another vote for "they're fine". And like others said - be careful if you have to walk in grass.
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  #38  
Old 04-16-2008, 05:29 PM
NinetyWt NinetyWt is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShelliBean
NinetyWt
I am moving to MS in a month or so. If I ever catch you out with sandals or open toed shoes and hose, I will personally steal every pair of pantyhose you own and stalk you at Wal-Mart when you try to buy replacements.
Ha! Very easy since I don't have any open-toed dress sandals/shoes.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Zabali_Clawbane
Well, but winter in those places often means rain, right? Open toed shoes in the mud
We do have some sidewalks. One or two. Like, in the city and all.

I've never been able to keep up with fashion anyway - the deal used to be that grown-up ladies wore hose out in public, and nice shoes. Going bare-legged was scandalous! Of course all that has changed (for the better, considering our 100-degree steam-bath days in July). But I've seen lots and lots of lady feet in sheer-toe hose, in open- or peep-toed shoes. I was clueless that it's a faux pas now.
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  #39  
Old 04-16-2008, 05:34 PM
HazelNutCoffee HazelNutCoffee is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ouryL
Black stockings?
:: twitch ::

No. Stockings. With. Open-toed. Shoes.

Be careful, lest Shellibean discover where you live.
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  #40  
Old 04-16-2008, 05:54 PM
Khampelf Khampelf is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Guinastasia
It is?
Depends on your definion of 'is'. It is my opinion that that's the impression she may leave on others. Others have other opinions.
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  #41  
Old 04-16-2008, 06:53 PM
Count Blucher Count Blucher is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs Johnson
Another vote for "they're fine". And like others said - be careful if you have to walk in grass.
Just grass? My FIL was buried during a huge rain storm and many of the mourners were stepping through mud up to their ankles. That and its April; the ground is softer than February and wetter than June. Unless you like wriggling your toes in mud and composted dead people, go formal. You can always throw the shoes out later 'in grief'.
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  #42  
Old 04-16-2008, 07:22 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Sonoran Lizard King
Depends on your definion of 'is'. It is my opinion that that's the impression she may leave on others. Others have other opinions.

I've worn open-toed shoes to funerals. Like people already pointed out-no one's going to be paying attention to her feet.

And not to be snarky, but I think I know a wee bit more about funeral etiquette than most here.
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  #43  
Old 04-16-2008, 07:30 PM
Zsofia Zsofia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinetyWt
Ha! Very easy since I don't have any open-toed dress sandals/shoes.


We do have some sidewalks. One or two. Like, in the city and all.

I've never been able to keep up with fashion anyway - the deal used to be that grown-up ladies wore hose out in public, and nice shoes. Going bare-legged was scandalous! Of course all that has changed (for the better, considering our 100-degree steam-bath days in July). But I've seen lots and lots of lady feet in sheer-toe hose, in open- or peep-toed shoes. I was clueless that it's a faux pas now.
Yeah, my granny always said only little girls and whores go barelegged. Of course, my granny is over a hundred, and also dead. That's one fashion thing that has indeed changed, and not just "now you can", it's "now you can and you better not not!"
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  #44  
Old 04-17-2008, 01:49 PM
pool pool is offline
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Better than open toad shoes...
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  #45  
Old 04-17-2008, 02:22 PM
cbawlmer cbawlmer is offline
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It would never have occurred to me that open-toed shoes were inappropriate for any occasion except as a safety concern. I don't think the color of toenail polish is going to matter either.

I grew up with my mother wearing hose with open-toed shoes all the time, so I didn't know you weren't supposed to do that. I'm not surprised though -- I always thought it looked weird. My mom isn't a fashion-aware person.

Jeans, sneakers, and t-shirts will be mandatory at my funeral.
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  #46  
Old 04-17-2008, 03:00 PM
mazinger_z mazinger_z is offline
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Would you wear open toed shoes to a business meeting or a job interview? Honestly, the nerve of some people! Anything else...well, I guess that's just how you was raised.
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  #47  
Old 04-17-2008, 03:16 PM
ShelliBean ShelliBean is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NinetyWt
Ha! Very easy since I don't have any open-toed dress sandals/shoes.


We do have some sidewalks. One or two. Like, in the city and all.

I've never been able to keep up with fashion anyway - the deal used to be that grown-up ladies wore hose out in public, and nice shoes. Going bare-legged was scandalous! Of course all that has changed (for the better, considering our 100-degree steam-bath days in July). But I've seen lots and lots of lady feet in sheer-toe hose, in open- or peep-toed shoes. I was clueless that it's a faux pas now.

I will introduce you to "hose in a can" - or possibly some Jergen's suntan lotion. Both are good when you'll have a little bit of leg showing but hose are not an option, like open toes or dressy sandals. Then we will buy peep-toe shoes to start off...

Next on my agenda - talking to people who insist on going out in sandals or dress shoes without having the decency to at least cut their toenails...
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  #48  
Old 04-17-2008, 04:10 PM
Scissorjack Scissorjack is offline
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Only if it's an open casket.
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  #49  
Old 04-17-2008, 04:26 PM
Zsofia Zsofia is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mazinger_z
Would you wear open toed shoes to a business meeting or a job interview? Honestly, the nerve of some people! Anything else...well, I guess that's just how you was raised.
No to an interview, but certainly yes to a business meeting.
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  #50  
Old 04-17-2008, 04:36 PM
alice_in_wonderland alice_in_wonderland is offline
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About the only time that I'll put on hose is for a funeral (not even for a job interview).

Of course, I would never wear hose with open toed shoes, ergo; your shoes would not be an option. Personally, I would view this as an opportunity to go shoe shopping; however, I recognize that having to fly in from Japan for a funeral may have left funds a bit tight.

So what I'm trying to say is go shoe shopping! Or just wear your open toed shoes, and be content knowing that very few people will even notice, and those that do will be provided with something to gossip about - namely your nude feet. I mean, having the opportunity to outrage distantly related matrons with your nude feet seems like an option too appealing to pass up.

I'm sorry to hear about your FIL though. That sucks.
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