Ask Dr. Happy O. Lendervedder, leader & leadership authority

-Leadership. From the Latin “Lead,” which means “to bring;” and “Ershipio,” which means “vision.” To bring vision. That’s what a leader does; he brings a vision of possibilities-- of things that could be– to those around him.

-A true leader possesses the blueprint of a successful future; the key to successful leadership, however, is knowing how to ejaculate that blueprint onto others, in order for them to bring that blueprint to life.

-A leader knows what needs to be done, but more importantly, knows how to manipulate those around him to get it done.

-I am-- and I want to put this in the proper terms-- an expert on leading others, but more importantly, I am an expert on talking about leadership.

-Success starts every morning. I’ll say that again. Success starts every morning. You can write that down, because success also starts when you write things down.

-I’ve been studying Dr. John C Maxwell’s Wikipedia page for years, and have read the ad in SkyMall for his latest book “Leadership Gold” over and over and over again. But none of that can compare to understanding that happiness starts from within you, but goes nowhere with out you.

-And now, I’m going to do something that goes outside many people’s comfort zone. I’m going to open myself up to your questions. Why? Because tomorrow’s successes start with today’s questions.

-Ask away.

:dubious: I have nothing to ask, I just wanted to say this is the first time a smiley has matched my actual expression so perfectly.

-Sometimes it’s necessary to raise an eyebrow to truly open your eyes.

Okay, I get that success starts every morning – what happens if you sleep till noon? Are you totally screwed, successwise, that day?

I am assuming opportunity and the seizing of such will lead to success and success starts in the morning. If so, then does successortunity knock early in the morning? And if i decided to stay in bed or not hear the knocking because I am asleep do I miss out or will successortunity come back and knock at a more reasonable hour?

Let me put it this way: If you knew for a fact that the milkman was arriving at 7am, would you sleep til noon? How about if the milkman was delivering milk and gold?

And that’s the thing. The milkman does arrive everyday at 7am; but only the successful people will drink the rich, life-giving milk he has to offer, and be rewarded with his nuggets of gold.

Do you want to be successful, twickster?

Success knocks but once, but regret will knock forever.

-Don’t be timid, brothers and sisters. I wipe my ass just like all of you, just more successfully.

OK, I’ll bite. Where are you offering to lead us? What do you consider success?..happiness?..money?..winning a Feud in the Game Room?

When I get up in the morning I feel pretty successful sitting in my easy chair with my kids on my lap as they watch a cartoon, got anything that can compete with that?

-Success is knowing the definition of happiness, and being happy with that definition.

Can you provide any meaningful advice, or are you just going to provide us with meaningless aphorisms?

-Yes.

How can I maximize the hate and discontent of those under my purview while still making them work like coolies?
(And have you sold this method to the various armed forces colleges, in the past?)

Please tell me more. People often tell me I am an asswipe, and I want to capitalize on this quality.

I want to be successful, but I don’t want to work very hard to get there.

Halp.

Do you agree with John C. Maxwell that one sign of a great leader is posting an OP about leadership? I do!

Do you incorporate some kind of swirling or twisting technique with your wipe?

-Don’t be afraid of hatred! Hate is the great motivator in life. And don’t forget, you can’t spell “Happiness is Great” without h-a-t-e.

-However, too much of anything can be bad. When you sense an underling is about to bring a hunting rifle into your office, offer to take him or her on a fancy retreat, like at a golf course or TGI Fridays.

-The first step toward success is sitting down and making sure your ass is as clean as possible.

-Upon review, this really didn’t answer your question, but that’s just a perfect example of the second step toward success: only paying attention to keywords when people are talking to you.

-Aim lower. You’re only unsuccessful when your goals are too high. The ultimate success is knowing your limitations and planning accordingly.