Suddenly thrust into a leadership position, and I realise I know fuck all about how it’s supposed to be done.
I guess I’m too goofy and all over the place to inspire people, and too shy and anxious to… What’s that other thing that bosses do? Right: Intimidate people. I can’t do that and I wouldn’t want to, either. Basically I can’t express disappointment except through nervous laughter / smiles / jokes, and I just don’t know what to do when one of the people working for me blows a deadline. I can’t confront people, and I can’t (and probably shouldn’t!) micromanage them either - a lot of the people working for me know their specific part of the field better than me.
And yet for all that I can’t quit the position either, for reasons that… Well. It’s complicated. The whole thing is. Ugh.
It’s midnight where I live and I’m venting right now so yeah, this is incoherent as hell and should probably go in the Pit - but I’m putting it here in the hopes that some of you smart fellows can come through with some solid advice nevertheless.
You don’t have to inspire them. You’re not coaching five-year-olds.
You don’t have to be a parent.
Just keep track of the big picture: what needs to be done, by whom, and when. Be seen to be doing your job, and be generous with praise for the people who are doing things right. For the people who miss deadlines or otherwise screw up, just take them aside and say, “hey, I see you’ve [screwed up X]. That caused difficulty for other people. What do you need in order to make sure it doesn’t happen again?” You don’t have to confront them, but you do have to help them.
Intimidation is the worst sort of ‘leadership’, and is usually practiced by those who have risen past their own level of competency. A micro-manager is someone who is insecure in his own job and makes others feel incompetent to compensate. Don’t engage in either tactic unless it’s absolutely necessary.
You can be a good manager without being a good leader, and usually good management results in you becoming a leader.
A good manager sets goals and follows up on the progress of those he manages to make sure their projects are on schedule. When somebody above you wants to know project status, you must be able to tell him precisely what it is.
A good manager acts as a buffer between upper management and those who work for him.
A good manager knows and understands company policies.
A good manager will settle minor disputes before they turn into battles.
You don’t need to intimidate people. That’s doing it wrong.
If you’re a manager, your job is to figure out what needs to be done, who needs to do it and by when, and what those people need to accomplish their tasks. You also need to listen to the people who are doing those tasks, who probably know more about them than you, to determine if your goals are reasonable and achievable. In every interaction with your people, your first thought should be “what does he/she need from me to accomplish their job?” If you don’t know, ask them.
If something fucks up, ask people why, and what the best way to fix it is, and what they need from you to do so.
I know the thread title is just a typo, but I’m amused to imagine the OP frantically running around his workplace, randomly grabbing people and shouting, “How the f–k do I leadership!?”
It makes me think of, “Kenneth, what is the frequency?”
I have a good manager. She checks to make sure I have enough to do, that I don’t have too much to do, that I have the resources I need. Then she stays the fuck out of my way.
I realize that’s different from a leadership though, so I may not be addressing the OP.
I feel for you. about 10 years ago, I went to work at a product test lab. mix of duties; running tests, writing reports, etc. then they made me a department manager. I lasted two months before I just up and quit; I couldn’t handle it.
I’m not management material, and I never will be. I’ve made it very clear to my current employer that if they want to get rid of me, they should promote me. I’ll be gone that very day.
which is why I giggle when Internet wannabe big-swinging-dicks talk about “career limiting moves.” I relish anything which will limit my career.
All these answers make management sound easy. I never found it to be so myself; I was horrible at it - and just so you know the source from wence these comments are coming, I am not generally a highly competent person, so management is just one of many items on a rather long list of things I am not particularly good at.
Anyhow, the real problem for me was psychological or maybe emotional. I think most management positions require a tough skin, which I myself never had during the times I was in management. I sense from your OP that you may also be skin density challenged. When it comes down to it, people want things from you when you are a manager, and they will work every angle to get it. they will play on your insecurities - and believe me, if you have insecurities they will figure them out sooner than you even realize you have them. Now, it doesn’t really make them bad people - it’s just human nature to act this way for whatever reason.
Anyway, best of luck to you.
ETA: All the answers before the last post make management sound easy.
Think of a good manager you’ve had and pretend you’re them.
Leadership is, essentially, a form of role-playing. And like most role-playing, you start out by copying someone else’s character, and gradually adapt it into a persona of your own.
Best manager I ever had said she did her work by talking to her people, and then eliminating the excuses they gave as to why they were at risk of missing deadlines. So pretty soon they had to meet deadlines.
In fact, she spent her time wandering around, talking to her staff, and asking them how things were coming on their projects. If someone (or especially, more than one) complained about something that was slowing them down, she went off and flexed her Manager title to get something done about it. Like getting the resources we needed, getting responses from other departments, whatever.
Also, she was extremely protective of her people’s time & attention – anything that would annoy her staff or distract them from their priority tasks she worked very hard to prevent. Often this came from within – upper management, HR surveys, requests for estimates, even stuff from our own customers. She would pilfer company-wide surveys from each of our mailboxes, then at the end of our weekly staff meeting say we’d take 5 minutes for each of us to fill it out. Astounding how much time such interruptions could waste (and how pointless many of them were).
Both of those traits seem to be good things to emulate.
Suggestion: make it more about the work, and less about you. What are your team’s specific Goals and Objectives? What specific activities need to happen to achieve those? What roles are assigned to what activities?
If you haven’t got that clear, then clarify it for yourself, and review it with your boss. Once you two are on the same page, share your planning to your team, making the expectations clear for everyone’s contribution.
From there, check in with them as frequently as your business requires.
Your interpersonal style - confronting or not; micro-managing or not - should emerge out of your team’s ability to get their stuff done.
Learn how to be comfortable with confrontations because you can’t adequately manage people without it. Everything else is style. But I agree with others here: it’s better to lead like a coach rather than a bastard going around making people hate you. I also very much recommend you peruse askamanager.org.
Where I work “leadership” means being responsible for what others do without any authority or any increase in pay. Sorry, I’ll take a pass on that one. If I got backed into a corner and couldn’t pass I would basically keep doing whatever I was doing before and hope for the best. At worse the meaningless title is removed and I get to be a common associate again. At best I have some success and get to the point where I can get the training and pay increase to advance further. FWIW that’s my take on the situation.
I once worked at a small startup run by a super-successful business person. He explained to me that the secret of leadership is finding out what your people need, and getting it for them. Rather than giving orders, your job is more like an administrative assistant. Does Bob have the resources to complete his work? Did the other department do the work that Alice needs? Is Steve being bothered by the guys over in sector 7 for stuff that’s not his job? At the end of the sprint, are there tasks that didn’t get done, and if so, why didn’t it happen, and what can we do to remove those reasons? And if the answer is, “we can’t accomplish X, because team Y didn’t give us Z”, then protect your team from negative consequences for something that wasn’t their fault.
If you’re stressing out over this “leadership” position, just forget about that, and remember that 90% of leadership is really just followership. You’re there to help out the guys doing the actual work, let them know what work they should work on, remove obstacles from their path, and attend bullshit meetings so they don’t have to. That sounds a lot easier, doesn’t it?
I usually hit the book store with a big coffee and peruse a couple of books when I need some quick advice.
One thing I love about my boss is that she never takes sides. She also never gossips and really just doesn’t make a lot of comments about stuff. When folks complain to her, she says “Thanks for letting me know about that” or some such bland thing. But, if you need something, she jumps right in. She will come in on her off-time in times of crisis. She also give a lot of little rewards- sometimes just a positive reinforcement/verbal recognition in front of others, or a card in your office mailbox, or sent to your home. She gives us little do-hicky gifts like movie tickets or meal tickets when we finish some specific tasks. I make it a policy to make my boss look good.
