Rehabilitate a character you find annoying

[Skald the Rhymer]

Obviously inspired by this thread.

Let's say you've given editorial control of a fictional property which you mostly like but which features a character-- Wesley Crusher, Jar Jar Banks, Ross Geller whatever--who pisses you off for whatever reason. Your authority isn't unlimited; you're not allowed to summarily kill of the character whom you find so annoying, nor to exile the character from the plot, nor to reduce the character's prominence in the work, but you are allowed to change the character's presentation so he or she more palatable and less annoying. Who would you pick,and what would you change?

[Steve MB]

Originally Posted by Skald the Rhymer

Obviously inspired by this thread.

Let's say you've given editorial control of a fictional property which you mostly like but which features a character-- Wesley Crusher, Jar Jar Banks, Ross Geller whatever--who pisses you off for whatever reason. Your authority isn't unlimited; you're not allowed to summarily kill of the character whom you find so annoying, nor to exile the character from the plot, nor to reduce the character's prominence in the work, but you are allowed to change the character's presentation so he or she more palatable and less annoying. Who would you pick,and what would you change?

The answer for Wesley Crusher is easy in one sense (present him as a smart but inexperienced teenager beginning to earn his way onto the entry-level rungs) and difficult in that it runs into one of the parameterso of the exercise (the obvious character path is to get sent to the Academy -- then again, they ultimately did that anyway).

[JThunder]

Character: Scrappy Doo
Rehabilitation technique: Daily pills of doggy Valium

[Dung Beetle]

Debra Barone (Ray's wife).

Let her try that shit on Tony Soprano for a while.

[zamboniracer]

Radar O'Reilly: (later years of MASH)-return him to the sharp, nobody's fool, on top of things company clerk, he was during the first season, before he became a wide-eyed innocent farm-animals-as-pets-and-not-as farm animals bumpkin.

[Chimera]

I think with Wesley Crusher, it would be fairly easy. Stop showing the adults of the show fawning over his greatness and instead, have them treat him like the child that he is. Sure you're smart, but you're still not allowed on the Bridge. Touch that Framistan Converter one more time and you'll be put off the ship, like any other non-authorized person.

For most others, the unrealism I find is the forced continuation of relationships. Which is the obvious contrivance, because the existence of the show depends on it. In real life, these things would never last. The nasty, abusive parents would be disowned and never seen; Jerry would lock his door and tell Kramer to fuck off; Raymond and his wife would divorce...

Ummm.....are you sure we can't kill off Jar-Jar? I mean, Sir Alec Guinness convinced Lucas to kill off Obi-Wan in the first movie for dramatic purposes, why couldn't someone convince him to kill off Jar-Jar for the same reason? Other than that no one could keep a straight face while attempting to do it? (yeah...yeah..."dramatic purposes"...that's the ticket!)

[NDP]

Originally Posted by Chimera

For most others, the unrealism I find is the forced continuation of relationships. Which is the obvious contrivance, because the existence of the show depends on it. In real life, these things would never last. ... Jerry would lock his door and tell Kramer to fuck off.

Except for the latter part, Jerry actually did start doing that. Kramer then moved to LA where he started taking bit parts (he even showed up as Murphy Brown's secretary). j Of course, after a complicted series of events that were dealt with in multi-part season-ending/new-season episodes, Kramer moved back to New York where things quickly reverted back to normal.

[Kamino Neko]

The Seinfeld cast - get them away from each other and force them to interact with people who don't share their neuroses (and borderline psychoses), without being able to fall back on each other for support. Spend a season with them each in a different state, unable to communicate with each other for some reason (say...George's in jail, Kramer's deep into one of his crazy schemes, and Jerry's suddenly too successful as a stand-up to have time to call them), and, here's the important part, force them to interact with people outside their comfort zones without having each other as a fall-back position. The other people don't have to be NORMAL, just a different kind of crazy, one that doesn't encourage them to think their own style of selfish neuroses are normal.

They'd still be annoying twats I'd not want to spend even 5 minutes with in person, but they'd at least become entertaining annoying twats as they're forced to deal with being out of their element without backup.

[Troy McClure SF]

Eric Gotts had damn near no reason to consider going back to the Heidi-Ho (even if she was played by Jewel Staite), and certainly shouldn't have been playing these subtle pit-them-against-each-other games with Heidi & Jaye. (A better actor sure wouldn't hurt either.)

I think if Tyron Leitso weren't such a shitty actor, and Eric weren't such a goddamned idiot, it'd be super-easy to ignore the rest of Wonderfalls' faults.

[Tristan]

Anita Blake- Therapy, detox, and a Sybian. Not necessarily in that order. At this point, she's more mentally fucked up than the killers she used to actually chase down at the beginning when the books were good....

[Bryan Ekers]

Gregory House - purge all elements that suggest he's at heart just a big ol' softy, and all moments in which he'd obviously like to be a nice guy but he... just... can't.... because... it's... not.... in... him...[eyes getting all misty, on the edge of crying]. If he's going to be an antisocial bastard, I want it to be through-and-through.

[muldoonthief]

Originally Posted by zamboniracer

Radar O'Reilly: (later years of MASH)-return him to the sharp, nobody's fool, on top of things company clerk, he was during the first season, before he became a wide-eyed innocent farm-animals-as-pets-and-not-as farm animals bumpkin.

Or this:

Radar & Klinger are driving from the camp to another MASH unit, when they're ambushed & captured by three North Koreans. Klinger, wearing a dress, is brutally raped by the soldiers, who then prepare to kill him. Radar, forced to watch all this, manages to escape his bonds, saves Klinger, and kills all 3 of the North Koreans with a bayonet. The final one is a young kid who is on his knees begging for his life, and Radar cuts his throat anyway. They return to the camp, never telling anyone about why they're a few hours late.

[Zsofia]

Originally Posted by Tristan

Anita Blake- Therapy, detox, and a Sybian. Not necessarily in that order. At this point, she's more mentally fucked up than the killers she used to actually chase down at the beginning when the books were good....

God, people still read those? There was even a Penny Arcade comic about how awful they've gotten. (The blog post that went with it summed it up perfectly.)

[jali]

Peggy Hill - Forced to go back to school by Hank (school or divorce), Peggy is corrected by her 19 year old classmates so many times that she finally realizes that she doesn't know much.

[Scumpup]

I'd take every wisecracking or whimsical sidekick, whether costumed or no, that ever accompanied a mystery man and largely delete the wisecracking and the whimsy. Especially with a rather grim character like Batman (who regretably started the whole mess with Robin), the light hearted sidekick always seemed incongruous rather than a counterpoint to the main character. Robin wasn't even the most egregious example, Doiby Dickles maybe...
Anyhow, the sidekick needn't be a carbon copy of the main character, but the lead shouldn't be inexplicably encumbering himself with a retard either.

[Gala Matrix Fire]

Ray Barone would have eschewed marriage altogether, having realized early that no one would ever love him and pamper him the way his mother does. He continues to live in the family home and only dates women who are not serious about commitment. He's happy, his mommy's happy, everybody's happy.

Debra wouldn't be on the show, but in bizarro world she'd have married a man who wanted to be a full partner in marriage and she would never have to nag him because he's not a man-child. Also, she stands up straight.

Shees, and that's a show I don't even like.

[Aangelica]

Originally Posted by Zsofia

God, people still read those? There was even a Penny Arcade comic about how awful they've gotten. (The blog post that went with it summed it up perfectly.)

Sadly.

I'm driven by a compulsion to see how things end. I refer to this as the "and then what happened" syndrome.

I really, really enjoyed the first couple. By the time they were showing clear signs of hitting the skids, I was already pretty much invested in the characters. Although not so much the main character - I'd be perfectly fine if the "how it ends" is for her to get run over by a moderately sized 18-wheeler. Or possibly cornholed with a Howitzer. Either way.

I've gotten where I'm skipping over more of the books than I'm reading, because I just don't care about three or four chapters full of badly-written porn and am looking for the increasingly-hidden-by-porn plotlines to see if any of my danglers have been tied up.

Pity those of us with my problem - I so wish I could not be consumed with burning curiosity about what the hell happens next.

[Yllaria]

Sooo, does that mean there might be interest in a digest newsletter or website for the series?

[BrainGlutton]

I'm trying to think of a way to rehabilitate Dr. Smith from Lost in Space -- trouble is that the essence of his character was that he was amoral, selfish, greedy, cowardly and self-aggrandizing; his annoying mannerisms were just lagniappe. But for all of that, he was the only character more interesting than a slice of untoasted Wonder Bread with cold butter; take away his annoying ways, and what's he doing in the show?

[Scumpup]

Originally Posted by BrainGlutton

I'm trying to think of a way to rehabilitate Dr. Smith from Lost in Space -- trouble is that the essence of his character was that he was amoral, selfish, greedy, cowardly and self-aggrandizing; his annoying mannerisms were just lagniappe. But for all of that, he was the only character more interesting than a slice of untoasted Wonder Bread with cold butter; take away his annoying ways, and what's he doing in the show?

In the very earliest episodes, when he was actally kind of sinister, he was a more tolerable character. He took point for increasing campiness for the whole series.

[BrainGlutton]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

In the very earliest episodes, when he was actally kind of sinister, he was a more tolerable character. He took point for increasing campiness for the whole series.

At the director's behest, or at least with the director's leave, IIRC.

[Tristan]

Originally Posted by Zsofia

God, people still read those? There was even a Penny Arcade comic about how awful they've gotten. (The blog post that went with it summed it up perfectly.)

I have a similar problem as Aangelica, in that I am interested in seeing how it all ends.

And while I don't mind the badly written porn, it is annoying.

Happily, the Dresden Files books balance out my desire for actual Oogy Boogy detective work.

[RikWriter]

Originally Posted by Troy McClure SF

Eric Gotts had damn near no reason to consider going back to the Heidi-Ho (even if she was played by Jewel Staite), and certainly shouldn't have been playing these subtle pit-them-against-each-other games with Heidi & Jaye. (A better actor sure wouldn't hurt either.)

I think if Tyron Leitso weren't such a shitty actor, and Eric weren't such a goddamned idiot, it'd be super-easy to ignore the rest of Wonderfalls' faults.

I wholeheartedly disagree. Wonderfalls was a very good show.

[Love Rhombus]

Originally Posted by Scumpup

I'd take every wisecracking or whimsical sidekick, whether costumed or no, that ever accompanied a mystery man and largely delete the wisecracking and the whimsy. Especially with a rather grim character like Batman (who regretably started the whole mess with Robin), the light hearted sidekick always seemed incongruous rather than a counterpoint to the main character. Robin wasn't even the most egregious example, Doiby Dickles maybe...
Anyhow, the sidekick needn't be a carbon copy of the main character, but the lead shouldn't be inexplicably encumbering himself with a retard either.

The most recent Robin is pretty damn cool in his own right (aside the name: Robin's do not inspire terror). And Brubaker actually made Bucky a logical sidekick for Captain America: he did the things people didn't want to see Cap do, like cut throats and sabotage.

[Linty Fresh]

Beat Bart Simpson severely and often.
Put Ralph Wiggum on the Low Carb Ritalin Diet.
Fire Gary Chalmers, promote Seymour Skinner to superintendent, and put Mr. Burns in the principal's position, and maybe he can kick the teachers' asses into shape.

[Scumpup]

Originally Posted by Love Rhombus

The most recent Robin is pretty damn cool in his own right (aside the name: Robin's do not inspire terror). And Brubaker actually made Bucky a logical sidekick for Captain America: he did the things people didn't want to see Cap do, like cut throats and sabotage.

Expand a little on the new Robin and this throat-cutting Bucky, please?

[FriarTed]

Originally Posted by muldoonthief

Or this:

Radar & Klinger are driving from the camp to another MASH unit, when they're ambushed & captured by three North Koreans. Klinger, wearing a dress, is brutally raped by the soldiers, who then prepare to kill him. Radar, forced to watch all this, manages to escape his bonds, saves Klinger, and kills all 3 of the North Koreans with a bayonet. The final one is a young kid who is on his knees begging for his life, and Radar cuts his throat anyway. They return to the camp, never telling anyone about why they're a few hours late.

Why couldn't you have written the Final Episode?

[Sampiro]

Ugly Betty is one of my favorite shows but it's gone downhill this past season (its second). I think the writer's strike had a lot to do with it (it lost momentum) but some of the characters, particularly villainess Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams) and her ubergay admin assistant Marc are becoming cartoonish, almost like a Boris & Natasha pairing.

They need to remind viewers that Wilhelmina's bitterness for the magazine she works at, however too far she took it, was legitimate in its reason: she really was the absolute tops at her job and the most qualified person to run the magazine when her predecessor died but was bypassed for the boss to promote his incompetent playboy son. Marc needs to have more of the moments he had from the first season with his mom or with Betty's pre-gay teenaged nephew or with his boyfriend from the second season who was introduced/much loved by audience/then dumped without explanation [perhaps the actor got other work during the strike] as these interactions with other characters showed he really did have a caring side under the bitchy exterior, and he's also the assistant to a fashion world superstar because he's very capable at his job.
=======================================

Lots of characters from past shows I can think of:

Roscoe & Boss Hogg from Dukes of Hazzard- in the early (first season) episodes these guys were actually interesting characters and not Hee-Haw cartoon rejects. Roscoe was a state legend in law enforcement, a straight-as-an-arrow sheriff who was cheated out of his pension and went bad (and was far from stupid) and Boss was a "born dirt poor in the Depression/made a fortune as a bootlegger/diversified into other activities" flat-out small town coldblooded crime boss rather than the Big Daddy meets Forrest Gump buffoon of the later show. To me it was more interesting in those early comedy-drama episodes. (Aside: Ben "Cooter" Jones from that show [who later was a 1 term Congressman from Georgia and now runs a Dukes of Hazzard theme park] has been on CNN quite a bit lately as a freelance political analyst on the southern political theater... and he's actually really good at it, one of the best of their talking heads; I remember liking him during a The Daily Show segment when their cast member tried to basically make him look like a fool and he turned tables on them.)

King of the Hill- Dale Gribble, the most annoying character on TV to me- just kill him. He's obnoxious, deluded, backstabbing, unreliable, cowardly, stupid, and a liar- there's absolutely no reason Hank or anybody else should be friends with him. Just kill him.
Bill just needs to go to therapy and then perhaps begin a relationship. I was hoping his fling with Kahn's mother would pan out but it seems to have been dropped.

[Astroboy14]

Counselor Troi would have been far less annoying if she had been topless for the entire run of the show...

[Wargamer]

Originally Posted by Astroboy14

Counselor Troi would have been far less annoying if she had been topless for the entire run of the show...

No there's a reboot I can fully support!

[Kythereia]

After her mother's tragic death, Kim Bauer matures as a character, finishes school, works hard on her degree, and becomes the kind of smart, capable, strong female character Michelle Dessler was. She doesn't get involved with Chase, she doesn't adopt his daughter, and none of anything mentioned above involves cougars. In any way.

[Lust4Life]

Hawkeye from MASH is told that if for six months he wears ironed Parade Dress uniform and glass shined boots at all times during the day,addresses everyone by their rank,salutes and generally conducts himself like a Depot Guard commander he will get three months leave in Hawaii and then will be given an Honourable Discharge and flown home.
Tosser that he is,he does that and then is told that ........er..... theres been some sort of mistake.


Data turns round one day and says "my god you Humans are pathetic,look I can do this and this and this and YOU cant"
A passing Vulcan looks up and says" Yes they're like big kids really but BOY dont they just love themselves..........LOSERS!"

[Lust4Life]

Oh sorry to double post but Wesley Crusher is caught by Security knocking one out while he looks through a hole he drilled in Dianni Troys shower and it turns out that a little known fact about her race is that they actually have retractable male genitalia that drops when "Its"skin gets wet.