I was doing some internet research for my job today, and while looking for something on the U.S. Supreme Court on a search engine, I came across the amazing information that a guy sporting wood in public, even if he is fully clothed, is technically violating the law in at least the State of Indiana.
Indiana state law 35-45-4-1, enacted 1976, amended 1984, section 1b, defines for the purposes of indecency:“the showing of covered male genitals in a discernibly turgid state.”
Santa Monica, California’s Municipal code 9.44.030 10 C similarly deems indecent “human male genitals in a discernably turgid state, even if completely and opaquely covered.” Although there, the code is part of the planning and zoning laws regarding adult-oriented businesses.
Why does this information, uh, come up, when searching for U.S. Supreme Court info? And does Clarence Thomas have anything to do with it?
This is an outrage! Don’t we have a constitutional right to keep and bear wood, so long as we don’t bare wood?
This law seems highly discriminatory. What about women in tight blouses in highly air-conditioned rooms? That’s legal? (Wait; did I just complain about that? Uh, never mind.)
“Discernably Turgid” would make a killer band name.
Remember, kids, keep it limp. It’s the law.
Hey, what you packin’ there, convict?
(Or, in Mr. Cynical’s case, “Move along, folks. Nothing to see here.”)
I used to work for a legal tech firm that processed transcripts from a malpractice lawsuit involving inflatable penile prostheses. One of the most common complaints was “spontaneous inflation” – usually triggered by coughing or sneezing.
One wonders how the courts in Indiana would deal with that one.
Ah, but the US Federal Government overrides state law. So, all we have to do is convince Clinton to lobby Congress for a mandate that it be illegal NOT to sport wood in public. I have no doubts that it would be an easy sell to Slick Willy.
If only Viagra Dole was still on board…
LOL - when I saw the subject line my first thought was “Did Milo get arrested?”
I guess you can cross Indianapolis off your list of potential “Big Cities”, or else resign yourself to life as a career criminal. However, I don’t believe that Chicago (just for example) has any such laws…
Does that search engine have any info about the legality of T[sub]itty[/sub]H[sub]ard-[/sub]O[sub]n[/sub]?
Oh, making it go away isn’t really what I’m interested in, that’s usually his problem. Of course when you’re being told to “Keep your hands to yourself” on a regular basis during class, making it go away could get rather important.
Is anyone else entranced by the image of Milo wailing along to “*Indiana wants me; Lord, I can’t go back there”?
For non-US Dopers or those lucky/sophisticated enough not to catch the reference, it’s from a dweebish old pop song (worse than Western Union!) about a youthful offender who breaks Da Law and but yearns to go back home anyway. The song ends in a chorus of police sirens.
Oh, well, back to the OP–why did this have to made a law? Didn’t their mamas teach 'em it was rude to point?
Recently on some spanish tv I saw a candid camera like show where they gave this guy a permanent hardon & he went around asking people to do things for him, pick up bags, weights, etc. That was the funniest candid camera like skit that I have ever seen.
However, I don’t believe that Chicago (just for example) has any such laws…