The barnfire of the vanities

[The Scrivener]

To discuss all issues relating to vanities, both substantially and linguistically... bathroom vanities, looking glasses (mirrors), vanity dressing tables, vanity cases, vanity presses, and also some of the lighting schemes that one sees in bathrooms, such as "Hollywood dressing room" style light fixtures, halogen spotlights, ambient wall sconces, and even those low-wattage LCD nightlights.

Ahem. Oh yes, vanities of the bathroom variety. I have friends who rehabbed a large, very old (nearly 200 years!) country house, and there is an ornate and I'm sure rather expensive vanity in a guest bathroom with wooden scrollwork. If properly maintained, it would look great, but unfortunately the ornate detailing in relief tends to catch dust and thus look like crap. And there's a lot of dust for that mirror frame to catch too, due to the laundry room being located just off of the toilet area.

So when it comes to vanities, I think simplest and minimalist is your best bet, unless you're a dusting freak or something.

And one more thing tricky about vanities: if there's a mirror on the wall opposite to the one over the sink, it's easy to be distracted by the optical infinite regression effect, in which one's self is endlessly refracted and incrementally shrunk down to size. It would be even more unpleasant in bright, harsh lighting, such as spotlighting or neon lights. In all, the self-referential illusion's rather like a metaphor for the futility of vanity, or self-aggrandizement, or something, although I feel like I'm not quite putting my finger on it.

In the interest of completeness and dispelling ignorance and all that I actually looked up the term in the dictionary... and found that "vanity" in the interior decor sense generally refers to a vanity dresser, as in where a woman might sit to do her makeup (and that's often located in a bedroom or boudoir and not a bathroom per se, although a large, chi-chi "master bath suite" may well have room for a vanity in it). Whereas what I've been referring to as a bathroom vanity is generally known as a "medicine cabinet". Oops! To be honest, I've never had a vanity proper and will likely never have one, as I don't even bother with makeup. I'm far better off discussing medicine cabinets, in big old country houses and otherwise. Although it's probably more fun to discuss what may be found inside medicine cabinets, but that's another thread and probably another forum.

[SNL's "Emily Litella"]"Never mind, then..."[/EL]

Oh, and there was that 80's pop star "Vanity," she of ex-Prince-sidekick fame. But I don't have any of her music and know nothing of her, really. But feel free to discuss her too, if you want.

[Ximenean]

If a vanity particularly offends you, you may find that a big old house has an oubliette where you can put it. That way you never have to look at it again.