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  #1  
Old 01-28-2009, 10:53 AM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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"Cello Scrotum" a made up condition - who knew?
See here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28893909/

Never heard of it - or guitar nipple for that matter - so am a little perplexed at the need to "clear the air" - but amusing nonetheless...

From the article, referring to one of the doctors who 'fessed up to the hoax:

Quote:
Murphy, who said the couple had been "dining out" on their story ever since they made it up, said they had decided to reveal the hoax after it was referred to in a recent BMJ article on health problems associated with making music.
Boy - not much of a social life, eh?
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  #2  
Old 01-28-2009, 10:56 AM
Marley23 Marley23 is offline
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Somewhere, Yo-Yo Ma breathes a sigh of relief and adjusts his, err, Stradivarius.
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  #3  
Old 01-28-2009, 11:03 AM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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...and as for Guitar Nipple...I was thinking of that thread OpalCat started asking where to put her boob when playing acoustic...
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  #4  
Old 01-28-2009, 11:04 AM
Marley23 Marley23 is offline
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I found myself wondering if Guitar Nipple mostly affects players who stand up or sit down. Is it worse for electric users or acoustic? We need to know these things!
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  #5  
Old 01-28-2009, 11:08 AM
drastic_quench drastic_quench is offline
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Yes, but what of tuba rectum?
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  #6  
Old 01-28-2009, 11:09 AM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marley23 View Post
I found myself wondering if Guitar Nipple mostly affects players who stand up or sit down. Is it worse for electric users or acoustic? We need to know these things!
Well, I've had belt-buckle rash, but never Guitar Nipple. I think that to get the Dreaded Guitar Nipple standing up, you would have to be one of those guys who wear your guitar or bass up at your neck - like Tom Morello in Rage Against the Machine or those New Wave bassists back in the day...

Sitting down - well, that could be a whole 'nother ergonomic issue! But Jimmy Page never suffered from no Guitar Nipple - same with Johnny Ramone!!
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  #7  
Old 01-28-2009, 11:11 AM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Originally Posted by drastic_quench View Post
Yes, but what of tuba rectum?
I am SOOOOO glad I didn't have any iced tea in my mouth when I read this!

Bwahhh!
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  #8  
Old 01-28-2009, 11:12 AM
Astroboy14 Astroboy14 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drastic_quench View Post
Yes, but what of tuba rectum?
I've been suffering this for a few days. Made a pot o' chili last weekend...

(rectum? Damn near killed 'em! )
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  #9  
Old 01-28-2009, 12:11 PM
An Arky An Arky is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WordMan View Post
snip

But Jimmy Page never suffered from no Guitar Nipple - same with Johnny Ramone!!
I'll bet Gerry Marsden never did either, but for the opposite reason!
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  #10  
Old 01-28-2009, 12:30 PM
lieu lieu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WordMan View Post
I was thinking of that thread OpalCat started asking where to put her boob when playing acoustic...
What... she doesn't need a capo?
Last edited by lieu; 01-28-2009 at 12:32 PM.
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  #11  
Old 01-28-2009, 12:38 PM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lieu View Post
What... she doesn't need a capo?
STOP THAT! Between you and d_quench, I am going to damage my keyboard!

Hey, lieu - what if a boy with Cello Scrotum met a girl with Risotto Vagina??

(sorry for those not in the know - there was an infamous thread where a former Doper asked why his risotto tasted like vagina and lieu asked him how his waitress transported it to the table...)
Last edited by WordMan; 01-28-2009 at 12:38 PM.
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  #12  
Old 01-28-2009, 12:57 PM
lieu lieu is offline
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You guess is as good as mine... Stradivari gently?
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  #13  
Old 01-28-2009, 01:20 PM
Hi, Neighbor! Hi, Neighbor! is offline
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Guitar nipple! I want that!
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  #14  
Old 01-28-2009, 01:48 PM
Tuckerfan Tuckerfan is offline
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Good News! Cello Scrotum Turns Out to be a Hoax!
Cellists have no reason to worry about their nuts getting injured when they play with their instrument.
Quote:
A top doctor has admitted her part in hoodwinking a leading medical journal after inventing a medical condition called "cello scrotum".
Quote:
A spokesman for the BMJ said that, 34 years on, no-one faced the sack for failing to spot the implausible condition.
(bolding mine)

Quote:
"We may have to organise a formal retraction or correction now. Once these things get into the scientific literature, they stay there for good. But it all adds to the gaiety of life."
(bolding mine)

(Cello scrotum and guitar nipple would make pretty good band names, IMHO.)
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  #15  
Old 01-28-2009, 01:53 PM
Marley23 Marley23 is offline
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Merged second thread into this one. Meanwhile I'm hoping we can wipe out Banjo Taint in my lifetime.
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  #16  
Old 01-28-2009, 01:56 PM
ShelliBean ShelliBean is offline
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Ooh. What color is the ribbon for that one?
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  #17  
Old 01-28-2009, 01:59 PM
Marley23 Marley23 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShelliBean View Post
Ooh. What color is the ribbon for that one?
There's two of them, sorta brownish, and they're squished together.

I wonder if Cello Ova is also a myth.
Last edited by Marley23; 01-28-2009 at 01:59 PM.
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  #18  
Old 01-28-2009, 02:01 PM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marley23 View Post
Merged second thread into this one. Meanwhile I'm hoping we can wipe out Banjo Taint in my lifetime.
Yeah, but what about Accordian Boob?? (good one, by the way!)

ShelliBean - the ribbon for Cello Scrotum is a dusky pink, but don't ask why it has that texture...oop!! Marley beat me to it!
Last edited by WordMan; 01-28-2009 at 02:02 PM.
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  #19  
Old 01-28-2009, 03:04 PM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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The above conditions may not exist, but a violinist I once knew complained about "violin hickey".
Last edited by CalMeacham; 01-28-2009 at 03:06 PM.
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  #20  
Old 01-28-2009, 04:10 PM
MovieMogul MovieMogul is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marley23 View Post
Merged second thread into this one. Meanwhile I'm hoping we can wipe out Banjo Taint in my lifetime.
Just an extra fold in the toilet paper should do the trick...
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  #21  
Old 01-28-2009, 04:22 PM
GorillaMan GorillaMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CalMeacham View Post
The above conditions may not exist, but a violinist I once knew complained about "violin hickey".
Some players, bizarrely, see it as a badge of pride, rather than an unpleasant lump caused by excessive gripping of the instrument with the head and shoulder.
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  #22  
Old 01-29-2009, 11:17 AM
descamisado descamisado is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lieu View Post
You guess is as good as mine... Stradivari gently?
That's what she said!
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  #23  
Old 01-29-2009, 01:29 PM
Hypno-Toad Hypno-Toad is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by drastic_quench View Post
Yes, but what of tuba rectum?
That can be fixed with a tuba Preparation H.
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  #24  
Old 01-29-2009, 01:34 PM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad View Post
That can be fixed with a tuba Preparation H.
This thread = the gift that keeps on giving!!

Huzzah to you Sir - well played!
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  #25  
Old 01-30-2009, 03:34 PM
Tracy Lord Tracy Lord is offline
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The BBC article on this is the best news story I've seen all year -- both for the content and the fun the sub-editors were clearly having.

Crosshead: Scrotal flak
Caption of the picture of cello player: Apparently, doing this isn't likely to damage the scrotum.

GOLDEN.
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