The Hater Olympics

Cisco · #1 02-17-2009, 11:58 AM

We all know people who hate. Everything they have is better than what you have, every accomplishment you make is nothing, etc. Even if you drive a brand new Mercedes and they drive a beat up 1987 Volkswagen Fox with torn cloth interior and 2 donut wheels, there is SOMETHING about that Fox that makes it a far better car than your Benz. I'm wondering if anyone has a friend who hates more than one of my best friends. Here are just a couple examples for your consideration:

1. When my wife and I bought our first house a few years ago, we invited him and his girlfriend over. We bbq'ed, had drinks, and swam in the pool all afternoon. He didn't say a word about the house, not "nice place," not "congratulations on owning your first home," nothing. His one and only comment comes when we finally get out of the pool. We're drying off and he goes, "the thing that sucks about having a house with a pool is that you always have to have towels around."

2. A few weeks ago he's over and we're standing around in the garage talking, and he starts looking over my road bike. He's flipping around the computer; mileage, ride time, average speed, etc. I tell him to look at the top speed I set during a race a few weeks prior; it's like 35.14mph. He looks at it and thinks for a minute, and then goes, "a cheetah would still catch you."

Omegaman · #2 02-17-2009, 12:20 PM

Dont be hatin'

Boyo Jim · #3 02-17-2009, 01:00 PM

Hater doesn't seem the right term for this.

zamboniracer · #4 02-17-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cisco

A few weeks ago he's over and we're standing around in the garage talking, and he starts looking over my road bike. He's flipping around the computer; mileage, ride time, average speed, etc. I tell him to look at the top speed I set during a race a few weeks prior; it's like 35.14mph. He looks at it and thinks for a minute, and then goes, "a cheetah would still catch you."

Of course, if your neighborhood is infested with cheetahs then you have bigger problems than having to deal with that guy.

Velma · #5 02-17-2009, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cisco

"the thing that sucks about having a house with a pool is that you always have to have towels around."

Oh god, no!!! The sacrifice! The inconvenience! The cost! I shudder to contemplate all that you must endure.

Swallowed My Cellphone · #6 02-17-2009, 02:46 PM

Wow, that guy sounds like he jumps through hoops to find a put down.

tdn · #7 02-17-2009, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

Hater doesn't seem the right term for this.

I'd go with "vampire." People like that are best left to stew in their own negativity.

A couple of years ago, I was in a resort area, and the Sun was setting spectacularly over the water. It was a symphony of blues, pinks, purples, and oranges. Truly breathtaking. It drew quite a crowd.

A family came out of a nearby restaurant to get to their car. Most of them stopped to look at the sunset. The wife said "Oh, look at that, it's so beautiful!" The husband faced the other way, crossed his arms, and said "I don't see what's so great about it."

Yeah, well... Maybe it wasn't much compared to the ray of sunshine that this guy appeared to be.

Cisco · #8 02-17-2009, 04:07 PM

Hater is definitely the term my generation uses for it. It's the same guy who always finds faults with the girls you date, and every girl who isn't interested in him is a psycho/fat/ugly/dumb/skanky bitch/hoe. He hates your first car, especially if you get it before he gets one, and he hates every pair of shoes you buy. Etc, etc. Ahhh, friends

.

Swallowed My Cellphone · #9 02-17-2009, 04:23 PM

"Hater" isn't the term my generation used. I'm pretty sure we just used "condescending jerk". It's usually people who have their own self-esteem issues so they try to deflate you with either backhanded compliments or plain old put downs with lots of "yes buts".

Dude: "It's awesome, my bike is so fast."
Jerk: "Yes, but the tires are probably cheap knock offs."
Dude: "I'm in love, my girlfriend is hot."
Jerk: "Yes, but she's probably used to a better class of guys."

norinew · #10 02-17-2009, 04:32 PM

I'm left wondering why he's one of your best friends?

Cisco · #11 02-17-2009, 04:41 PM

Well, we've been friends since we were 12, and apart from being a hater, a jerk, and generally negative as hell, he's also really loyal and one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. No one is perfect.

pravnik · #12 02-17-2009, 04:58 PM

The OP was way better the last time we talked about haters.

Isamu · #13 02-17-2009, 08:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cisco

"a cheetah would still catch you."

That made me smile. I think I'd like that guy.

But a truer hater statement would have been:

"the thing that sucks about having a house with a pool is that I don't have a house with a pool, and you do."

norinew · #14 02-17-2009, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cisco

Well, we've been friends since we were 12, and apart from being a hater, a jerk, and generally negative as hell, he's also really loyal and one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. No one is perfect.

I didn't really mean to put you on the defensive. I figured if he's one of your 'best friends' there must be some reasons.

If he's funny, I would probably use his negative statements as jumping-off points for 'lines'; like, when he says "the thing that sucks about having a pool is you have to keep towels on hand", I'd have been inclined to say something like "Yeah, but it's not such a big deal; you know, after me and hubby go at it hot and heavy, and we clean ourselves up in bed with a towel. . .I save those towels to use at the pool for inconsiderate jerks who don't bring their own. . ." But of course I'd say it with a smile on my face!

Jurph · #15 02-17-2009, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pravnik

The OP was way better the last time we talked about haters.

Put down the Haterade and get some Lovin' outta the oven. Damn.

movingfinger · #16 02-18-2009, 12:38 AM

This sounds more like One-upsmanship and Pissing-in-the-soup than hating.

Little Nemo · #17 02-18-2009, 12:46 AM

Just dry off on a passing cheetah. Problem solved.

Mudshark · #18 02-18-2009, 03:17 AM

I have a friend who does this constantly, but I know she doesn't do it on purpose. She just really says things like that and doesn't get it.

Hampshire · #19 02-18-2009, 08:52 AM

Has he seen the Debbie Downer skits from SNL?

Cisco · #20 02-18-2009, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mudshark

I have a friend who does this constantly, but I know she doesn't do it on purpose. She just really says things like that and doesn't get it.

I don't really know that my friend "gets it"; it's just in his nature. He's not saying it to be funny if that's what you mean. He's just a lil' bastard.