Things your friends do that irritate you

I’m thinking mainly of minor irritations, but if there are bigger ones, feel free to add them.

My friend “Elsa” drives me nuts when she talks to her dog in an incredibly high-pitched babytalking helium-voice. “I’ll be backs! Then I’ll take you to go poopies!”

My friend “Lola” bugs me because she makes a pile of money, pinches every penny, has no debts, then complains about having to pay a bill or two and acts as if she’s one step away from poverty.

My friend “Jade” is a Negative Nellie–you know the type: “You haven’t been sick in months? Knock on wood! It could happen! No, don’t bother to call the police about such-and-such; they won’t show up; they won’t help (and so on).”

How about yours?

My friend Cathy is a “man-hater”; she frequently makes comments about how men are stupid and incapable of real emotion, and only think with their dicks. I’d very much like to point out to her that disparaging an entire gender is wrong-headed and shallow, no matter if you’re a man or woman.

Anyone, friend or otherwise, who leaves the bathroom without washing their hands should be beaten to death. Rinsing with water doesn’t count. You know who you are.

Always* late. They sometimes call to say “I’ll be there in 15 minutes,” and show up an hour after that.
*Just to catch me off guard, once a year they’ll show up 20 minutes early. Without calling, of course. I don’t like having to answer the door when I’m showering.

I know a few people who do this, so anyone who bites her nails in public. The sound is disgusting, it’s unsanitary and your mama shoulda taught you better.

People who use offensive language at every opportunity in mixed company. There are other ways to express yourself.

This would be a complete dealbreaker for me.

I have the man-hater friend. I hate this, too. She’s lesbian so I guess I can see it, but I have a perfectly good man at home.

My best friend was in a near fatal car wreck coming up on 2 years ago, and she has changed so much…

I live in Indiana, she lives in Virginia, so we rarely see each other. We (used to) communicate by computer and phone. But in the last few months, she has begun deleting my e mails and now she has stopped answering the phone. She is still undergoing therapy from the accident and has many health problems, and I worry. If she doesn’t feel like talking, fine. Tell me. But at least let me know you’re alive, OK??? The not answering the phone thing… she has told me she doesn’t like the hours I’m working… she wants me to work all nights so we can talk during the day. Well… I like working some day shift hours… and she is home ALL DAY LONG. So she’s pouting, and not answering at all.

Like I said, she has changed since the accident… and I miss the old her. :frowning:

OK… this turned into more of a rant than an irritation. But I needed to get it off my chest.

I have a friend I love dearly but one of her little quirks drives me nuts. She has to have some sort of sound on at all time. I think she is afraid of quiet. The volume is always loud enough that a conversation is difficult. When you have to shout to talk, or have to have every sentence repeated, the music/TV is too damned loud.

The other thing that bugs me is that she talks during movies. She’ll say “Oh, you haven’t seen so and so? You have to see it!” I’m not much of a movie watcher, but I’ll agree. Then she will talk through the entire damned movie, making it impossible for me to keep up with what is going on. I’d rather just sit and talk anyway but if you want me to watch the movie, let me watch it!

I don’t like the fact that most of my friends, all perhaps, still smoke marijuana. Not habitually, but if there’s a party or gathering they’ll smoke. I like to include my kids in things, and thankfully they’re discreet enough about it, but jeez you guys are in your 40s now. Some of you are approaching 50! Why the need for illicit substances during get-togethers?

OK, this has the potential to be ugly, but…

Don’t tell me to (and I quote) “come back from the flower children because the cows miss you” trying to persuade me to eat unhealthy food. I know it bothers you that I don’t eat certain things anymore. I know you hate that my splurge is now homemade peanut butter and baked fish once a week. I know it’s weird for us when I say “I’m going to the gym now, bye!” or “No thanks, I’ll have a salad instead.” I know. But I’m not evangelical about it and you are making me feel bad just for being healthy. I’ve become a closet vegan out of necessity! And yet you continue to complain and be upset over your inability to lose weight. While you eat fast food multiple nights a week. I don’t denigrate your choices about health (well, I do here but not to your face and not other than this paragraph ever). Don’t make me feel guilty about mine.

Oh that felt good! I would never say that to her, but it’s been pent up inside me for a month!!

I have a friend who has been married for 6 months that has nothing but complaints about his wife. He doesn’t talk about her much, but when he does it’s a complaint. When they were engaged, same thing. Before they started dating, he would talk about how he and his business partner would go out and meet some women at a bar or something, but he’d always refer to them as ‘whores’. No, they weren’t prostitutes, but any single woman he met was a ‘whore’. “I was talking to this whore the other night, and…” :confused:

Dude, first of all, if you’re that unhappy in your marriage, then end it. You shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.

Second, I’m married to a wonderful woman. I have two daughters I love to death. I love my mom and my sisters. You obviously have a terrible concept of women, and I shudder to think that my kids are going to grow up and meet some neanderthal like you some day who will refer to them behind their backs as ‘whores’. You’re an intelligent, educated, successful businessman. How about a little respect for our women, 'kay?

Let’s see:

I have the friend who asks for favors, but is never available when I have a favor to ask, even if I give them plenty of notice.

I too have the friend who still smokes marijuana and we have to remind him all the time that just because that was acceptable in Finland, it’s not cool here. It’s especially annoying that he has to keep being reminded of this all the time…

Then there is the friend who can never commit to anything with a long time horizon because there is always an issue of money, and they never know where they will stand at that point in time, but also, I think they are hoping to leave themselves open to a better offer. This friend is quickly getting on my shit list.

Finally, there is the friend who ALWAYS has to talk politics. He and I don’t agree on how we are going to vote, so naturally this has to become a wedge in every conversation lately and gets worse the closer we get the election. I can only hope this guy goes back to normal after November 5th, although I wonder what will happen if his guy DOESN’T win…

My friend “T” cannot get through a girls’ night out meeting without telling everyone at the table the most intimate sexual details about herself, her husband, blow jobs, boobs, you name it. Every single time. It does get tiresome.

I have a friend who has trouble pronouncing names. He is so consistent that I would almost think he does it on purpose, but he isn’t the kind of guy to go for the juvenile laugh.

Biden is is pronounced bid-n. (Rhymes with quid-en)
McCain is McCan.

He does it with non-famous people too. I find it mildly annoying.

Our best friends have kids our own age. They are Great with us, but he’s One Damn Strict Disciplinarian and doesn’t care who knows about it. Love him like a brother, but when his kids fight and he goes 1960’s on their asses, I’m damn uncomfortable.

Hint: There IS no way to tell people how to raise their kids. Period. And he’s never raised a hand in my presence.

But Sarcasm? R. Lee Ermey has got Nothin’ on him. Groundings, taking away toys, throwing out toys, taking games, erasing saved video games, I’ve heard it all threatened in my presence (and have heard through my spouse that 90% of the threats are carried out in full after we leave). I know there is some kind of unresolved anger issue going back to when his father took a belt to him regularly, but I’m no therapist.

My buddy has been going crazy trying to lose weight. We joke that he’s become an overnight anorexic, and to some extent he has. He actually skipped a two hour nap because you burn less calories while you’re sleeping and he “didn’t really need it anyway.” He gives me an update of his weight every time we talk. I know he likes the encouragement, but damn dude. Wow, the least you’ve weighed since X date? No way? That’s way better than two pounds ago, when you weighed the least since X moment.

Gah. I go to the gym, too. I’m meeting my goals, but you don’t see me bragging on it and asking for encouragement. I do it and then I’m done. Wooo.

Here’s a weird one, and I’m not even sure if it annoys me or not. Well, it does annoy me, so let’s say I’m not sure if it should.

I have a group of old friends. Because we don’t live that close to one another, we invite each other (+ spouses) to each others’ homes for weekend visits a few times per year.

She will invite me to her home and we have a lovely visit.

Other friends will invite us to their homes, and we also have a lovely visit.

Then, when I invite her to my home … she doesn’t come. As it happens, my house is close to her parents (as in about an hour away, not next door or anything). She feels guilty about accepting an invitation to the town without seeing her parents. A few times, she has arranged to stay with her parents during the same weekend that I have invited guests, and intends to join us for dinner or whatever … but doesn’t, because her parents want her to have dinner with them. After all, she lives so far away.

On the one hand, I am paranoid that she thinks something is bad about my house, and this is all an elaborate sham to avoid visiting. On the other hand, I understand about the need to visit with parents and all, but it seems like I would see my friend more if I moved farther away. I don’t understand why she can’t look at it as “a weekend trip to see my good friend Delphica” as opposed to “a weekend trip to the area code where my parents live.”

I have said all this to her directly, and her response was “I know! It’s awful! The things we do for our parents, right?” and I was all … confused.

I have a friend who can’t express dislike for something in anything other than the most extreme terms. She HATES that actress, she HATES that sofa, she HATES that food. Now, I use the word “hate” sometimes when I probably don’t mean anything more that mild dislike. But if a friend expresses a fondness for something I “hate”, I tone it down or just don’t mention it at all. Respect, right? This friend doesn’t do that. If you call her on it, she says “I don’t HAVE to like it!” Well, no, but you also don’t have to express your dislike in such a vitriolic fashion and make me feel bad for liking something.

Dear friend,

I’m sincerely sorry you have emphysema. I know you’re scared about how bad your lung function is getting. I understand you are grieving and frightened. But please try to understand the following:

a. it’s difficult to be verbally sympathetic and supportive about your latest lung function tests and how scared you are when you’re telling me about it with a cigarette in your hand
b. it’s more difficult when you’re doing the above plus blowing smoke over my baby daughter when I’ve already told you not to smoke around her and will now have to do it again
c. it’s even more difficult when you tell me you can’t pay back the loan as you’re too poor, but I see you are still managing to buy cigarettes. A month’s cigarette money would pay us back
d. I’m sorry you’re killing yourself. I wish you could understand that’s what you’re doing
e. I doubt the doctor told you that your emphysema and possible lung cancer is due to your stressful job rather than the 40 years of heavy smoking. Lie to yourself if you need to but don’t lie to me and expect me to agree
f. this isn’t a friendship anymore. I realised that last week when it took you 45 minutes of pouring out your various woes to ask how my lovely baby is and how I’m doing.