So I was with my 8-month-old baby last night in the grocery store. (He falls asleep late like all of us). You know when someone is suddenly standing right next to you and you don’t see them until the last second? This guy was suddenly, with no warning, standing right next to me in produce. I think I jumped a little. Anyway, no big deal. Happens. He probably was looking at the fruit, not me. He was about 30-ish, nothing out of the ordinary about him, sort of sloppily dressed in a too much computer or TV-time/not enough exercise/no fashion sense kind of way if you know what I mean.
So anyway, about 5 or so minutes later, way in the middle of the store, suddenly there he was again, and it was the same thing – I didn’t see him until he was right there. That time I definitely jumped. I was mildly suspicious then. I mean, we could be just going through the store on the same sort of schedule, right? But how is he RIGHT next to me twice? Kind of weird. I assess my relative level of danger – low – I’m in a big well-lit grocery store, plenty of people still around, no purse (debit card in bra). I do have my baby in the cart – very protective of him, of course – but my hand is never off the cart or more than a few inches away while I grab something. In any case I leave that aisle quickly. I go about my business again.
Then I get to frozen foods and Healthy Choice meals are on sale for $1.88 each. A steal of a deal and I eat those things at work for lunch or when I’m starving and have not had time to cook. So I plan to get about 10 of them at that price. Suddenly here is pervert guy. The third time. I am very annoyed by now, because obviously he is following me and so the two times when he came up next to me unseen he did it on purpose. I notice now that he has no cart, no basket, and no products in his hand. Argh. Freaking pervert. He stands right next to me, in front of the door where the additional $1.88 meals are that I want. I wait for him to move, he doesn’t. He says, “Having a hard time making a decision?” I say, “Nope, just figuring it out…” but really I want to say, “Nope, just waiting for your sorry self to move.” I realize, OK, he’s not going to move, the idiot. There is enough space to step in front of him and open the freezer door, but I didn’t do it before he spoke because 1) it’s awkward to step right in front of someone who is standing and looking into the frozen food freezer and 2) I thought he would move – who just stands there? Obviously I need to just get in there and get my stuff and move on. I step in front of him, open the door and have a frozen meal in my hand when I feel strange hands down around my calves, grabbing and rubbing one and then the other leg. Auuuuuggghhhh!!! I whirl around, throw the Healthy Choice Steamer meal right at him, and it hits him right in the face, and I yell “Get the fuck away from me!” This was such an instant reaction that I was shocked but happy to realize I’d done it. Even now I feel disgusted and violated thinking about him rubbing my bare legs. He says, “I was just getting out of the way!” and looks at me all hurt. I say, mostly because I’m still mad, but also partly to explain myself, “This is the third time you’ve been right next to me, you scared me!” (As if I need to explain myself. I am such a bleeding heart it is pathetic. I actually am worried that I somehow misinterpreted the whole thing and he didn’t mean to…crouch down and rub my legs?!? For a minute I seriously considered finding him and apologizing. This is so ridiculous in retrospect…) His face gets all dark and angry and he walks away. He turns and yells, “Bitch!” Then he turns around and points at me and says, “Don’t EVER do that again. Don’t you ever do that again!!” (Umm…OK…don’t rub my legs again…it’s a deal…) I have the bagger walk me out. Thankfully my baby didn’t seem to notice the raised voices and angst. What a pervert. I’m really glad I hit him in the face.