How does one use a condom incorrectly?

[doubled]

Inspired by this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=529963

I've always heard condoms work "if used correctly". Supposedly, according to the other thread "most" people don't use them correctly.

But I got to ask -- how does one use a condom incorrectly? I always thought the rules were just:
1) put it on BEFORE your penis gets in or near the woman's vagina,
2) make sure it's unrolled all the way
3) be careful it doesn't slip off when you're withdrawing.

Seems pretty straight-forward to me. Am I missing something? Is there some other "use correctly" step that I'm missing? Or are "most" people really unable to intuitvely understand those directions?

[Beware of Doug]

Example 1
Movie Summer of '42.
Druggist to kid: "You know what these are for, don't you son?"
Kid: "You fill 'em up with water and you throw 'em off the roof."


Example 2

[SCSimmons]

Originally Posted by doubled

Inspired by this thread: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=529963

I've always heard condoms work "if used correctly". Supposedly, according to the other thread "most" people don't use them correctly.

But I got to ask -- how does one use a condom incorrectly? I always thought the rules were just:
1) put it on BEFORE your penis gets in or near the woman's vagina,
2) make sure it's unrolled all the way
3) be careful it doesn't slip off when you're withdrawing.

Seems pretty straight-forward to me. Am I missing something? Is there some other "use correctly" step that I'm missing? Or are "most" people really unable to intuitvely understand those directions?

I suspect that rule one is the one most people find most challenging ...

(P.S. Today is one of those days I'm glad I've never changed my signature quote, even if it is seven years old ...)

[lee]

Stranger's with Candy had a stunning example of incorrect condom use. The health teacher first unrolled the condom all the way and then tugged it over a banana like a sock going on a foot. It seemed to be unlubricated. The technique seemed like it would result easily in a torn condom and possibly an abraded cock.

[FORTRAN forever]

Two [your favorite ethnicity goes here] were sharing a needle doing drugs when a bystander yelled "Don't you know that you're going to get HIV that way"?

One of them giggled and said "It's OK - we're wearing condoms".

[Kobal2]

Off the top of my head :

1) putting it on before one is hard
2) unfolding it beforehand
3) withdrawing right before climax, putting it on, then going back in
4 putting it on long before penetration (I actually did that one on my first time)
5) not pinching the tip to create an air bubble for the semen. Granted, that one's obsolete these days since 99% of the time rubbers have a reservoir up top, but I guess before that development, exploding condoms happened because our sex ed teachers kept harping on that pinch
6) Keeping it in your pocket as a talisman
7) Re-use. Oh yes, it happens.

[KlondikeGeoff]

There is aways the danger of fallout.

[MeDrewNotYou]

To put it delicately, size can be a factor. If you're *ahem* endowed, make sure you buy the right size of condoms.

[Fake Tales of San Francisco]

Originally Posted by MeDrewNotYou

To put it delicately, size can be a factor. If you're *ahem* endowed, make sure you buy the right size of condoms.

The reverse is also true.

[Telperien]

Using the wrong kind of lube is improper use. People have been known to lubricate them with, say, hand cream, which is a really bad idea, as that tends to weaken the latex so that it tears more easily. Not to mention that I wouldn't think it would be good to get lotion in your partner's vagina or anus, but that's not the point. Not using lube at all is also often improper use. Sure, a lot of them are pre-lubricated, but most aren't lubed enough to do much good.

[The Great Philosopher]

The only one I really got taught in sex ed was the "pinch the end while you unravel it or you'll end up powering through the latex" thing.

[Alex_Dubinsky]

I don't understand this whole pinching thing. Did these sex ed teachers not understand the physics of fluids? Air /= vacuum. Did they really emphasize it that much?

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by Telperien

Not using lube at all is also often improper use. Sure, a lot of them are pre-lubricated, but most aren't lubed enough to do much good.

Especially if it's going into an area of the body that doesn't naturally make its own lubrication.

[tr0psn4j]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

Especially if it's going into an area of the body that doesn't naturally make its own lubrication.

Like a nostril?

[Rigamarole]

Originally Posted by tr0psn4j

Like a nostril?

Sure, if that's what you're into.

[Elendil's Heir]

Originally Posted by Kobal2

Off the top of my head....

Originally Posted by Kobal2

...7) Re-use. Oh yes, it happens.

When I was a prosecutor in the paternity establishment/child support unit, there was an oft-repeated and probably apocryphal story about a woman at a wild party who reused the same condom (turned inside-out the second time) that evening, and nine months later had two kids. DNA testing showed each had a different dad; she went after both for child support.

[Measure for Measure]

Originally Posted by Telperien

Using the wrong kind of lube is improper use. People have been known to lubricate them with, say, hand cream, which is a really bad idea, as that tends to weaken the latex so that it tears more easily. Not to mention that I wouldn't think it would be good to get lotion in your partner's vagina or anus, but that's not the point. Not using lube at all is also often improper use. Sure, a lot of them are pre-lubricated, but most aren't lubed enough to do much good.

Any oil based lube such as Vaseline will cause problems. Proper lube is water based.

If you are skeptical, try blowing up a condom like a balloon and rubbing vaseline on it: it will rupture.

[MeDrewNotYou]

Originally Posted by Measure for Measure

Any oil based lube such as Vaseline will cause problems. Proper lube is water based.

If you are skeptical, try blowing up a condom like a balloon and rubbing vaseline on it: it will rupture.

I sense a possible cool science/sex ed demo!

[qazwart]

According to one urban legend, NGO workers demonstrated to a local population how to use a condom by placing the condom on a broom handle. The locals took the condoms, but the condoms didn't seem work. The locals did what they were taught -- they too put the condom on a broom handle before getting into bed with their wives.

I think that would count as using a condom incorrectly.

Mad Magazine in Denmark offered a free condom to its readers. Inside, the condom was stapled to the page. That might also constitute as "improper use".

Some might also call this a misuse of condoms too.

[Kobal2]

Originally Posted by Elendil's Heir

Finally ! Someone noticed

When I was a prosecutor in the paternity establishment/child support unit, there was an oft-repeated and probably apocryphal story about a woman at a wild party who reused the same condom (turned inside-out the second time) that evening, and nine months later had two kids. DNA testing showed each had a different dad; she went after both for child support.

Pretty sure that's biologically impossible, but hey, never let facts get in the way of a good story .

On the subject of creative condom use, I remember, when I was in high school, listening to an evening sex ed radio show. A girl called the station to ask if it was OK for her boyfriend to use a supermarket plastic bag in lieu of a condom, and if so how should they lube it. To his credit, the doc hosting the show didn't break out in laughter - but the rest of the studio sure did.

[Oglomott]

What about putting it on wrong side out? Is there even such a thing as wrong side out on a condom?

[The Great Philosopher]

Originally Posted by Alex_Dubinsky

I don't understand this whole pinching thing. Did these sex ed teachers not understand the physics of fluids? Air /= vacuum. Did they really emphasize it that much?

I think some old-style condoms didn't have the 'reservoir' bit at the front, and if you stretched the condom tightly against your mountaintop, the pressure upon release could tear the condom...

[Iamametalrobot]

Originally Posted by Kobal2

Pretty sure that's biologically impossible, but hey, never let facts get in the way of a good story .
.

Actually, it is possible for a woman to have twins by different fathers. You should read the columns sometimes.

[Harriet the Spry]

Another one is storage. Keeping it in the glove compartment of the car or your wallet for ages does not guarantee optimal performance.

[Alex_Dubinsky]

Originally Posted by The Great Philosopher

I think some old-style condoms didn't have the 'reservoir' bit at the front, and if you stretched the condom tightly against your mountaintop, the pressure upon release could tear the condom...

Bullshit.

[YogSosoth]

If you wrap it around the penis, that is probably the wrong way...

[Zsofia]

I think a LOT of failure comes from improper withdrawal - you have to carefully remove yourself immediately upon ejaculation, lest the seal not, you know, hold upon alteration of conditions.

[RandMcnally]

If you try to unroll it on your unit but find it's the wrong way, then do it the right way, you already have some of your future children on the outside, which really defeats the purpose of a condom.

[tim-n-va]

In the statistical data, a failure is not using one everytime. That is, if your primary/only means of birth control are condoms and you occasionally don't use one and a pregnancy results, that is counted as a failure of condoms as birth control.

[Alex_Dubinsky]

Originally Posted by Zsofia

I think a LOT of failure comes from improper withdrawal - you have to carefully remove yourself immediately upon ejaculation, lest the seal not, you know, hold upon alteration of conditions.

That might be the reason for the reservoir -- to prevent back-movement of semen and escape at the base. Still, sounds rather theoretical, and if it were a real problem I doubt the reservior would do that much to prevent it.

[EvilTOJ]

Originally Posted by Kobal2

7) Re-use. Oh yes, it happens.

OH sure, it's easy to reuse a condom. Just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

Alex_Dubinsky I have personally ruptured a condom from it being too tightly rolled on at the top. It wasn't the pressure upon release that did it, it was more about the friction not giving the latex room to give. Luckily I noticed before the fireworks started.

[Mudshark]

Originally Posted by Oglomott

What about putting it on wrong side out? Is there even such a thing as wrong side out on a condom?

Yes. It won't unroll all they way if you put it on the wrong way.

[Serenata67]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

Especially if it's going into an area of the body that doesn't naturally make its own lubrication.

Like having Ear Sex? Oh, wait... that's not what it is...

[Enright3]

Originally Posted by MeDrewNotYou

To put it delicately, size can be a factor. If you're *ahem* endowed, make sure you buy the right size of condoms.

That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. Over sized condoms are nothing but a marketing ploy. Certainly in terms of breakage. I suppose I could see where ones girth might make it feel snug, but....

I've seen a friend, as a party trick, inflate a condom and pull it over his head past his chin, and that was a long time ago. I'm sure condom technology has been increased even since then.

[justrob]

Originally Posted by Rigamarole

Sure, if that's what you're into.

I'm sorry, I can't help it.

[Shot From Guns]

Originally Posted by Enright3

That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. Over sized condoms are nothing but a marketing ploy. Certainly in terms of breakage. I suppose I could see where ones girth might make it feel snug, but....

There's a difference between "it will go on" and "it will be comfortable." I have, uh, shall we say "direct second-hand knowledge" of this.

[Quartz]

Apparently, double-bagging is a no-no.

[Harriet the Spry]

It occurs to me that it is really impossible for one to use a condom incorrectly. Truly incorrect use really requires two or more participants.

I remembered another incorrect use, which is if the erection subsides in the middle of the act, the condom should be replaced.

I think use of male and female condom at the same time would also be incorrect.

[The Great Philosopher]

Originally Posted by Alex_Dubinsky

Bullshit.

There are even still condoms today that don't have reservoirs - Trojan Ecstasy for instance. And as EvilTOJ has already attested, if a condom is pulled tight against the tip it increases the chances it'll tear. Where's the bullshit?

[DooWahDiddy]

When I was a kid, I used to think condoms were pills you had to take. But because everyone was talking about putting them on, I thought you had to balance the pill on your wee-wee (I was seven) and if it fell off then the girl would get pregnant.

So I guess that would be using a condom incorrectly.

[wisernow]

Originally Posted by EvilTOJ

OH sure, it's easy to reuse a condom. Just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.

Alex_Dubinsky I have personally ruptured a condom from it being too tightly rolled on at the top. It wasn't the pressure upon release that did it, it was more about the friction not giving the latex room to give.

That must have been one dry vagina.

[The Weird One]

Originally Posted by Enright3

That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. Over sized condoms are nothing but a marketing ploy. Certainly in terms of breakage. I suppose I could see where ones girth might make it feel snug, but....

I've seen a friend, as a party trick, inflate a condom and pull it over his head past his chin, and that was a long time ago. I'm sure condom technology has been increased even since then.

Originally Posted by Shot From Guns

There's a difference between "it will go on" and "it will be comfortable." I have, uh, shall we say "direct second-hand knowledge" of this.

I'm with SFG on this one. I think it's the "neck" of the condom specifically, where it remains rolled up, that can squeeze too tightly and ruin an erection.

Originally Posted by wisernow

That must have been one dry vagina.

I'm guessing it was the friction between the penis and condom that caused the tear. Failure to add a bit of lube to the inside of a condom is another way to use it incorrectly.

I've also heard that wearing multiple condoms at once increases the risk of failure, but I don't remember why.

[Hirundo82]

Originally Posted by Serenata67

Like having Ear Sex?

Once you go black, you go deaf.

[Telperien]

Originally Posted by The Weird One

I've also heard that wearing multiple condoms at once increases the risk of failure, but I don't remember why.

If I remember rightly, it's because they tend to stick together and are thus more likely to slip off.

[susan]

My observation from teaching HIV classes that require students to demonstrate correct condom technique: People do not pinch the tip. Air in the tip makes it more likely that the condom will tear from abrasion during sex.

You might also be amazed how many adult men have never used a condom and have no idea what to do with them. Most in this demographic tell me that only sex with another man (variant: with an American woman) can transmit HIV.

ETA:

multiple condoms at once

Again, abrasion.

[Serenata67]

Originally Posted by Hirundo82

Once you go black, you go deaf.

But if you just need your ear canals cleaned, perhaps an Asian? Or if you're a Roman Catholic priest, a boy would work. (BTW, I'm Catholic... and dislike clergy molestation jokes... but this was way to obvious.)

[MeDrewNotYou]

Originally Posted by Shot From Guns

There's a difference between "it will go on" and "it will be comfortable." I have, uh, shall we say "direct second-hand knowledge" of this.

That.

Originally Posted by Enright3

That's the biggest load of bull I've ever heard. Over sized condoms are nothing but a marketing ploy. Certainly in terms of breakage. I suppose I could see where ones girth might make it feel snug, but....

I've seen a friend, as a party trick, inflate a condom and pull it over his head past his chin, and that was a long time ago. I'm sure condom technology has been increased even since then.

What TWO said is also a factor

Originally Posted by The Weird One

snip
I'm guessing it was the friction between the penis and condom that caused the tear. Failure to add a bit of lube to the inside of a condom is another way to use it incorrectly.
snip

If the condom is already on the tighter side, a little bit of extra friction in the right (wrong?) place can tear it. When blowing one up, though, you're putting stress pretty equally across the whole thing, letting it all stretch.

[Projammer]

I'm pretty sure that this falls into the 'not used correctly' column.

[susan]

Originally Posted by Projammer

I'm pretty sure that this falls into the 'not used correctly' column.

No, because it would keep me from having sex with him.

[Shot From Guns]

Originally Posted by The Weird One

I'm with SFG on this one. I think it's the "neck" of the condom specifically, where it remains rolled up, that can squeeze too tightly and ruin an erection.

Yup, that's where the biggest (pardon the pun) problem was.