Ask the White Male Black Lesbian

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

A completely MP thing to share, but…

One of my closest work-friends is a sociology professor. He’s Indian by ethnicity though reared in Australia by Malaysian born parents, and as such he often feels he doesn’t connect with a lot of students and he loves to assemble “a day in the life” panels for people of various heritage/lifestyle/minority status/etc., so that he and his class can learn more about “a day in the life” of such a person. He’s had non-Christians (a Hindu, Muslim, and Jew who answered about growing up members of a non prevalent religion in the Bible belt) and one for Hispanics and some others.

Recently in his sexuality class he had some questions about gays he couldn’t answer (he’s straight) and decided to have a “day in the life of homos” (my phrase not his) and he asked if I would come to the panel. I’m openly gay at work in that I make no secret of it, though I don’t have rainbow flags on my desk or really discuss my personal life (to the extent that I have one) with students, so he thought it might be especially interesting to have me since I’m sorta kinda a “right under their noses” gay guy who the students may or may not know is gay. (I work I should mention at a very small college and chances are if the students have used the library I’ve met them.)

I told him the truth- that these days I’m really far more in the “Homo Reserves” than on active duty. I haven’t had or even looked for a date (not even the euphemistic date, but a date) with a possible romantic interest in- damn- two years? Three? So I really don’t have a lot to talk about since a day in my life involves walking my dogs, doing my laundry, working, going home and looking at my dead computer and counting the days til this weekend [when I get a new one], etc… Not a lot gay specific to it.

I had earlier mentioned to him though that when I was working at a much larger university I was the faculty sponsor of the Gay Student Association (or technically the Gay Straight Alliance [i.e. 1 fag hag, 12 lesbians, 3 gay guys, and someone that nobody else knew]) and taught a “rhetorical self defense class” that was well received (i.e. "basically giving students facts and figures and some history to retort when when dealing with people who accuse them of being abomination or unnatural or pedophiles or what-not). He asked me to bring that at least since I really couldn’t add anything to the discussion but could have a few minutes to mention these things at least since most of the students grew up in serious Bible Belt families.

There were five members chosen for the panel. Since he particularly wanted to deal with the issue of gays in the black community as there’s been a good bit written on the subject of homophobia in the black community (though I’ve doubts if blacks as a rule in the south are any more homophobic than white southerners), and since there tend to be more openly lesbian couples here than openly gay males, he hit socio-Sapphic paydirt by getting an interracial (black/white) lesbian couple to answer questions both about race:gayness and couple issues. He asked a black drag queen who works in the gay bar downtown to come as well, and a young gay white male student at another university (on their Gay Straight Alliance/Theatre Department) to talk about gay issues as they apply to people who actually “have sex affairs”* and stuff. Pretty good panel.

So on the day we were to meet and greet and be gay I show up first. And last.

The lesbian couple were both sick with swine flu and had called off. The drag queen and the gay guy from the other campus just didn’t show up. I don’t know if they ever contacted the professor but if they did he hasn’t told me, but I know for a fact they didn’t that day. So, much to my surprise and more to my pal’s, my “15 minute or so” discussion of religious and political issues became a full 90 minute class time of little sexually inactive overweight “as far from the neat svelte Will & Grace stereotype as you can get” hasn’t had a date since long before Dubya left office me “reppusentin’” for all of Gay America. Interesting experience.

Especially since one of the first questions was “This is for the black lesbian… but since she’s not here I guess I’ll let you answer for her…”.

More later, must run.

*Adrian Monk reference.

2

This is one of my favorite thread titles ever.

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Nothing much to add, except - Thanks, Sampiro - for being out there, and for telling such good stories about it!

4

So the first part of the “panel discussion” was supposed to be, as it always is, a three part question:

  1. What do you like about your [orientation]?

  2. What do you dislike about your [orientation]?

  3. What would you most like people to know about your [orientation]?

(I put [orientation] in the brackets because other times it’s been religion, nationality, etc…)

Since I was Sodom’s only ambassador I answered them with a big I only speak for myself disclaimer.

  1. I personally (many would disagree) like the fact that I don’t have. and am not likely to ever accidentally have, children, and that if I do have children you can be pretty sure they’re deliberately sought (and in full compliance with the appropriate prophecies). This said, many gay men and women actively want children and have them by adoption or “by special arrangement with” others or by heterosexual previous relationships or whatever, and about this- see 3.

I personally like the male-bonding aspect of gay relationships. In some ways men just understand men (regardless of gay-straight) more than they do women. Add to this the fact that unlike when I dated women many many moons ago, I’ve never once had an argument with a boyfriend when I didn’t know what the argument was about.

  1. I dislike the prejudice of course, but most especially the IGNORANCE that you hear coming from the television, read in the newspapers, hear from people who don’t know you’re gay, etc., which you easily could hear on a daily basis if you wanted but some days I change the channels when those things come on if I’m not in the mood (because they rarely if ever have remotely knowledgable people arguing for either side- more likely it’ll be somebody having a pointless screaming fit with Shirley Phelps Roper or a John Hagee braying without anyone to object or a well meaning but moronic pretty boy trying to parry and foil with a mean spirited moronic Baptists Actively Saving Homosexuals rep.

I hate that the fact that when an elderly gay friend died his partner of 40+ years wasn’t mentioned in the obituaries but nephews and nieces he’d never met were is indicative of how gay partnerships are viewed, and don’t get me started on my own family.

I dislike not being able to have PDA beyond stuff guys do with other guys (hug, dap type stuff) with partners in public in Alabama. You could argue that PDAs are rude and to some extent I’d agree, but the fact that I can’t do it without risking some major scene is irksome.

[Must run more later]

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Congrats, and kudos to you for doing this!
I can imagine it was odd to be the “spokesman” for every Gay/Lesbian person on earth.
Point to the Gay flag and say, “That is an example of the Gay community coming together to decide what color the flag should be.”

Still, very cool you did this. I hope if there was even one person out there in the audience, or someone who heard from someone, they might quietly contact you as the “only one they know” and ask for some guidance.

I can’t think of anyone on this board I would rather have represent “us” than you!

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Aw, Sampiro! I feel cheated. I came this thread to figure out how you could possible be both. And to see what interesting questions Dopers had asked. Mine was going to be:

So does that mean you occasionally dress in drag and black face and but still* date women just for fun?

*I came up with the question before I realized you were the one who created it. I think you mentioned your orientation in the first post I read from you.

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either band name, or it should go under your name as your board title …:smiley:

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You know, if the Secret International Gay Alliance ever did decide to try and actively recruit heterosexual men, this would be a mighty strong part of the campaign. Heck, it had me considering switching sides for a second.
(Just kidding, honey! You know I’d never give up boobies. No, wait, I mean, your logic is always delightful to me. I love mystery. Especially when we’re arguing! )

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:smiley:

Actually that brings me to

  1. What would you most like people to know about your orientation?

To which my answer was basically "Remember that if you’ve met one gay person or lesbian then you’ve met… one gay person or lesbian. We’re no more alike than are all Jews, or all blacks, or all Asians, or all anybody else. And just as you can find greedy unscrupulous Jews or any other stereotype, you can definitely find promiscuous vapid self absorbed gay guys, probably without looking too far, but you’ll also find some who are damned near saints and most that you find will be somewhere in between. And know that the gay agenda is the same as the Jewish agenda and the black agenda and the Asian agenda and the Spock agenda- we want to live long and prosper, in peace, and ultimately die content and happy in the well appointed queen sized Norwegian sleigh beds we share with our male model life partner and terriers. And that there’s a lot of prejudice against us that just isn’t logical or even factual but to quote Debbie from ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES, “people just won’t listen, so I have to use persuasion - and slideshows.”

A couple of them had seen ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES (the closeted gay ones most likely) and laughed, for most it was a bit before their time, but they liked the slide show.

MUST RUN/MORE LATER (if I haven’t mentioned my home computer is kaput so I’m writing from work where it’s hard to get off more than a short reply without interruption).

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I’ll throw in a question: Have you ever been in physical danger because of your minority status? See, I made it generic. In your case as the panel it’s minority statii - you could get James Watt fired all by yourself! :wink:

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Hey Sampiro, sounds like it went well (aside from staffing issues)! This is awesome work. As I’ve mentioned, I volunteer for a similar program called GRIS Montréal, which is invited into mostly high schools (but also cégeps, universities, immigrant centres, youth homes, etc.) to answer questions on the basis of our personal experience. I have next to no stage fright and love talking about myself, so it’s a great way to give back to the community.

Typo: I’ve felt physically in danger due to homophobia on two occasions before, yes. I’ll talk about the second time – I was in the metro late at night, with a bag with a pride symbol on it, and some kids standing between me and the exit saw me and started behaving aggressively and chanting, “Kill the faggot, kill the faggot” to the tune of the Ride of the Valkyries. I felt in grave danger and I didn’t know whether they were really going to attack me or what, and I was getting ready to jump into the metro tunnel and run to the next station if they should come after me. I filed a police report the next day, since it was the first time my life had actually been threatened. Not the worst thing that ever happened to anyone, but I was genuinely terrified and I dearly hope it doesn’t repeat itself.

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Homo Reserves.

That is awesome. It sounds like you are waiting to be called up the Fightin’ Homo Brigade.

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Sorry for the delays, hopefully I’ll get it finished soon.

So, this isn’t a religious school but it’s in Alabama and most of the students are from here so most of the slideshow was on the general religious arguments since the question I’ve probably been asked the most down here is “how do I reconcile the Bible and ‘your lifestyle’?” and the answer “by becoming atheist” doesn’t seem to satisfy most people. I went into

*The general stuff about Sodom (how God seemed to beof the opinion He destroyed them for arrogance and contempt rather than foam parties, how “that we may know them” was at most about rape, not sex, and more likely was a demand to interrogate, yada yadda [that’s a Hebrew pun])

*The Leviticus injunction in context of its time and the general other things Leviticus doesn’t allow and the more barbaric things it does allow (e.g. raping POWs so long as you shave their head first beating your slaves so long as they don’t die immediately, uncle niece marriage, etc.- well, I didn’t use this site but the stuff from herebasically.

*I mentioned Jesus on divorce/remarriage (which he wasn’t the least bit bashful about condemning- it’s quoted in more gospels than mentioned the Sermon on the Mount, the Magi, or even the Virgin Birth) along with pictures of anti gay marriage advocates who seem amazingly unconcerned by this, not as a tu quoque (these being freshmen I doubt any would know the term) but as a New Testament example of cafeteria judgmentalism and examples of the “splinter in your eye/plank in mine” frustration of zealotry on the topics
I talked a moment about history of misconceptions and oddities that affected the way gays are perceived, then I switched gears and talked about Paul Cameron and the Family Research Institute. While Klan Phelps gets a ridiculous amount of airtime they’re ultimately just nutcases with absolutely no real power other than the power to disgust, while Paul Cameron is the real greatest enemy of gays in America yet he’s barely known outside of gay circles and surprisingly little recognized within them. He’s been discredited by damned near every professional organization, his “research” has been proven again and again to be shit, he’s been caught in outright lies many times, even Bill Bennett has denounced him, and yet his “studies” are still used in courts and by the religious right and by politicians to prove how unfit and unhealthy gays are. Every single “study” ever released that states gays are more likely to be pedophiles, homicidal, schizophrenic, etc., and every single “study” that says children raised by gay parents are more likely to be molested, sexually confused, or even gay INVARIABLY leads back to one of his studies or one of those backed by his organization. I figure if I can alert one person to Paul Cameron then it’s been a talk worth having.
And while closing I had the PowerPoint giving random slides of famous out or no-question-about-it gay people (good, bad, and indifferent) and as usual the one that got the most “No way!” reaction was Grandpa. I think it went over well- lots of laughter (in the appropriate places- I’m considered a “funny but informative” speaker in general- one of my favorite ever compliments was being called “The Elvis of Bibliographic Instruction”).

ETA: I showed a 3 minute version of this about the UGA “Peter Meter” study. It was a big hit.

I’d planned for 15 minutes but the slides and discussion went about 30-35 minutes, but was well received. Then the Q&A.

Hopefully when I resume I’ll conclude.

14

So omitting some details in interest of getting finished:

The “things about you” and the slideshow completed, the Q&A starts and the first question is:

For anyone who hasn’t seen a picture of me, this is me in all my black lesbian glory. So it did get a response when I said “Believe it or not, even though I grew up in rural Alabama and went to public schools and all that, I can honestly say I’ve never encountered any prejudice for being black.”

Luckily it went over well. I continued with a “but seriously folks” demeanor and said something to the effect of “I’m not going to presume what it’s like to be black woman or be a lesbian. Though I did watch Good Times faithfully as a child. Always had some suspicions about Esther Rolle… I mean most women would have gotten the lines on the neck and that tooth gapfixed as soon as they made good money and all… but who knows… the best way I can answer being slightly whiter than Julie Andrews singing Christmas carols is that I went to a book reading by [the recently deceased] E. Lynn Harris[who was not particularly ‘flamboyant’ incidentally] one time and somebody asked him that and he said it was probably his most frequently asked question, and the way he answered was saying it was apples and tennis balls. He said he’d never been hassled by cops for jogging in an upscale straight neighborhood or had someone assume he must be an illiterate crackhead because he was gay, but he said at the same time he’d never had to sit down at a table and say ‘Mama… I’m black’. And while I can’t really know anything other than my own experience…” (I’d already written solipsism on the board and given the 2 bit explanation) “I’d guess that to be the case with many people who are black and gay or lesbian. The worst part about being gay is that the most painful non-acceptance comes from internal sources- people you’ve known all your life and we won’t even get into the issue of family- whereas race prejudice is more likely to come from the external world if that makes sense… and it’s why many gay people, myself included, forge bonds with their friends or lovers that in many ways are stronger than family, the notion of your ‘family of choice’ which everybody has to a degree is probably far more important to most gays than to most straights, because there are just so many places you can’t go emotionally with people who don’t really accept you, if that makes sense. And don’t do drugs.”

(I end almost all oration that doesn’t seem to be coming to a natural or eloquent conclusion with ‘And don’t do drugs’ or similar pieces of advice. Those who’ve had my lectures before know this and what it means and those who haven’t usually learn it quickly. It’s endearing to some and the others are people we don’t need to worry about.)

Other questions:

This is one of those “look behind you and remember they art freshmen” moments, but I didn’t roll my eyes or anything. I suppose it’s a valid question.

“Usually there’s not a male-female relationship, that’s why it’s gay. The gender roles are different perha[ps than in straight relationships. I have known of macho guys who lived with extremely feminine men or butch lesbians who live with lipstick lesbians but they tend to be the exceptions as couples. If you’re asking ‘who does the housekeeping’ or ‘who stays home with the kids’ and the like, a lot of variables. Now if you’re asking about the sexual act, well that’s a highly personal thing, by which I don’t mean that I’m offended and won’t answer but that it’s very individualistic, it depends on partner’s preferences, just as I would think with straight people what people do in bed or on the floor or in the occasional shadowy corner of a Taco Bell varies widely, but it’s ultimately about preference and please know this, that while this setting you’re encouraged to ask questions and I don’t mind in the least in the real world asking ‘Are you the man or the woman?’ is considered intrusive and insulting and will probably get you labeled a moron or much worse to the person you ask, so general rule of thumb if you don’t ask straight friends or relatives sexually graphic questions don’t ask gay friends or relatives. And what do we do when the car hydroplanes? Nothing. Don’t step on the brake or the gas, just steer as needed and hope for the best. Next question?”

"Well, having hit puberty before anybody heard of Oprah they really didn’t portray them at all when I was a kid. Three’s Company was about as close as it got…well there was this show called Love Sidney that… well, that was way ahead of your time. Torch Song Trilogy is an extremely sentimental movie to many gays my age because even though it’s about a NYC drag queen we could all relate to it and the main character just… was himself… sorry, moving along… frankly, and again I speak for me personally, I’m most irritated when they castrate the charactgers. Birdcage for example- definitely had some funny moments, the fact Nathan Lane’s a drag queen didn’t bother me in the least, but the fact that he and Robin Williams were never portrayed as a loving couple so much as an asexual roommates- you got no sense of any real bond between them or that the son regarded Albert as a co-parent, while in the French version and musical they were clearly an old married couple and co-parents… or WILL & GRACE in which the gays are silly Barbra loving neat freak gym bodies who joke about their orientation and seem defined by their orientation but strangely never are seen with another guy in a romantic kiss or embrace because somehow these good looking guys can’t find a date in Manhattan in 6 years, exsqueeze me? I think Will kisses Taye Diggs romantically in the last season, that was it. I actually prefer say, Queer as Folk, which is basically a nekkid cable soap opera but where you know which characters are tops and which are bottoms and some are stupid and some are smart and some are successful and some are wage slaves… Roseanne was one of my favorite shows ever in the way it depicted gays and lesbians because they were just folks, some you liked some you didn’t… and… uh… so it’s mixed… and positive stereotypes are still stereotypes. And wear your seat belt.

I don’t really remember… I seem to remember liking Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt, the guy on Dexter… John Mayer…

(I think it was asked tongue in cheek, not really sure.)

“Uh, I’m saying that I’ve dated fewer guys in my life than probably any girl in this room has and I’m more drawn to personality, though with some obvious “sexual attraction” necessary. I will mention you’re more likely to find ‘no fatties’ on a gay male site than on a straight males, gay men can be real bitches about things like that, aren’t a lot of chubby chasers which is unfortunate for me, but I won’t be a hypocrite since I’m not a chubby chaser either. If you have any recommendations though please leave a 4 x 6 glossy and their email address and I’ll pay you a commission if we hook up.”

Today probably more the Internet than anywhere else. Back in the day it was bars and chance encounters. My longest romance (who’s still my closest friend) was with a co-worker.

Me personally, approximately never. I hate techno music, I hate not being able to talk, when it comes to dancing ability I’m like Michael Jackson but by that I mean Michael Jackson now, and even though I’m a smoker the cigarettes bother me, plus add to this that half the people at the clubs here are straight people either on a “come look at the monkeys” tour or there because the dance floor’s better, unlike bigger cities where there are solely gay clubs and they’re even divided into things like lesbian/men or sports bar/karaoke/dance/older/younger, etc…

Possibly, it’s mine and I’m gay. Does it help? Most definitely. The gays I know who don’t have senses of humor tend to be really really bitter. Of course the same is true for most other people who have no sense of humor. Life’s absurd so wear your seat belt.

“Well, no more really than I’m afraid of any other random violent crime to be honest. I’ve felt threatend a couple of times most definitely but haven’t really personally encountered violence. The fact that I’m large and carry knives and the like when out in public may help. I’ll admit that whenever I’ve had a rainbow sticker on my car it’s been a removable magnetic one because there are definitely times that it’s better not to be identifiably gay. And incidentally I’m against hate crime legislation in general but that’s another class and we’re running out of time, but I had to get in that Grandpa Waltonslide.”

“Last I heard he’s still dead.” (Poor taste yes, but they laughed too, so…)

On this subject I’ve been called something of a gay quisling (a queersling?), but I answered honestly anyway, with the by now often repeated disclaimer:

“Remember again and again and again I am only speaking for myself and not all black lesbians. But I think the Shepard case was a tragedy, a senseless murder, but I don’t like him being used as some kind of martyr. Frankly I think it was less a hate crime than a mugging that got way out of control, I think a tiny gay guy who obviously has money was an absolute idiot to get in the truck with two rednecks he didn’t know which is not in any way to say what happened to him was justified, from what I’ve heard he was not a nice person.
Now let’s contrast him to Billy Jack Gaither who died a couple of months later right here in Alabama. Billy Jack” (distant relative of mine though I never met him- do know some of our mutual ‘kinfolk’) “was by all accounts a stellar super nice guy. Quit a high paying tech job in Nashville to come home and work for a fraction of that in Alabama so that he could take care of his ailing elderly parents, volunteered at all the local fundraisers and church charities, by all accounts loved by everybody. Unlike Matthew who did something really stupid and whose death may or may not have been a ‘hate crime’- it was more about two whitetrash meth heads wanting money and finding an easy target- Billy Jack was a hate crime by anybody’s definition. He was killed because he was gay- solely and simply. He was bludgeoned to death by a ‘friend’ he knew well who he had been out with (non romantically) before and who had already set up tires to burn his body before abducting him. When he was murdered- it was the first time his parents knew he was gay, even though he was 39 and was open and out to most of his friends and some of his family. They denied it. (His sister came out also when he was killed.)
Now- what’s the biggest difference in these cases? Why is Matthew Shepard near household name and Billy Jack is known by very few people? Well the fact Matthew died first is a part of it, granted, but Matthew Shepard had twinky waif model quality photos and he was from a rich family and had gone to finishing schools. Billy Jackwas a not particularly attractive redneck from Alabama. And there were people killed because of their orientation before Matthew Shepard who were treated similar- mentioned maybe but ignored in the media because they weren’t photogenic, Billy Jack didn’t get a celebrity turnout and his killer’s trial wasn’t big news.” (His killer was convicted at least; in prison he “repented” and therefore he’s forgiven in the eyes of his church by a minister who also says that Billy Jack’s in hell.)
“So to not answer your question in a longer way, I see Matthew Shepard as more of a media spotlight than I do something I felt viscerally. I’m not in any way saying he brought his killing on himself or deserved to be killed, but that other crimes affected me more.”

[conclusion in a few moments]

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Apologies for the delay in the conclusion (I’m among the indigerati [those without a computer who choose to save the money] at the moment- should change this week). Since it’s waited this long and hasn’t gotten much traffic anyway I’ll just in interest of closure say that:

The last question was about my opinions on gay marriage. I answered that obviously I’m for it, but that I wish there was more activity to ban orientation based discrimination. (Several students were surprised to learn that it’s not against the law in Alabama or many other states to fire someone who is gay for no other reason than orientation; when one asked “wasn’t homosexuality legalized?” I pointed out that while Lawrence v. Texas more or less legalized same-sex relations and nobody goes to jail for it, the fact that it’s not illegal doesn’t mean that discrimination isn’t legal. (Being black was never illegal in Alabama but discrimination was legal and blatant.)

I was able to start a brief discussion on the “Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s and unto God that which is God’s” aspect of marriage- that gays are seeking the Cæsarian aspects, not the religious (you can already enter into a same-sex marriage in some churches while the Baptists and Catholics can never be court ordered to acknowledge one any more than they have to perform a marriage between one of their faithful and a six-time divorced Hindu or any more than the Mormons can be ordered to stop that “for time/for eternity” jazz).

I think I scored a couple of points when I mentioned two distinct “end of life” cases involving marriage that occurred last year to former neighbors. I asked if they could empathize how insulting it is to think of this scenario:
40 years ago this month (actually last month), Susan Atkins held down Sharon Tate and said “I have no mercy for you bitch” while Tex Watson stabbed her pregnant stomach and they considered cutting out the baby and taking it to Charlie. This very month Susan’s husband (20+ years her junior and the second one she’s married while in prison, who she has never in 20+ years of marriage been able to spend one single night with or go to a burger joint with or have a drink with or even share a midnight phone call with) has been on the news asking for her compassionate release, and while that was denied he has been granted more lenient visitation privileges under California law.
twice (calling it a fundamental right in Turner v. Safley), Had Atkins confessed to him soon after their marriage a Family plot to kill Obama her husband could never have been compelled to testify against her. Now that she is incapacitated he automatically has her power of attorney to make life/death decisions, and when she dies if she’s intestate he’ll automatically inherit her estate (which may be more than you might think; she’s actually a very talented artist with many portraits so there’s a possibility of some money there, plus if she inherited anything from her own family or if he ever wishes to write a book about their marriage he’ll own any photographs or likenesses of her in her possession, etc.). These are the rights of marriage IN PRACTICE- REAL SITUATION.

Now compare Susan Atkins (and for that matter her partner Tex, who’s married and had several kids in prison) to Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon: together for 50+ years, productive, child rearing, law abiding, beloved by their community, charity work, etc… They were not able to marry at until 20 years after Atkins second marriage, had absolutely no legal kinship whatever one to another, and yet when they did get married it was THEIR marriage, not Susan Atkins (who lived just down the street from them once), that was dissolved. They were told in act that they did not deserve the same rights as the two people who killed Sharon Tate. Del was 87 and Phyllis 84 last year, both dealing with end-of-life issues as well.

Now Del and Phyllis were lucky in that their family and friends all accepted them as a couple, and that they were one of the annulled marriages reinstated during the brief window, but imagine if last year Del’s daughter (her biological issue from a previous marriage) had told Phyllis “get the hell out of this hospital room”, or if her mother died intestate she could tell Phyllis “I want you out of this house you two lived in because I want my half” (or if it’s in Del’s name alone she could evict her). Even with a will she could challenge in the courts and have far more likelihood of invalidating it when there’s no legal kinship between the two women (and I have known of such situations in Alabama). These women are seen as less deserving than the people who butchered Sharon Tate and her unborn baby.

The definite conclusion in a moment.

16

THE DEFINITE CONCLUSION

Time being up, I thanked the class for listening and reminded them “I don’t speak for all white male black lesbians, just myself. And even if it’s your brother or closest friend, if you loan them a lot of money make them sign an IOU.” And I got a nice round of applause, and if I only irrevocably changed half of their lives for the better and for all time it was worth the hour.

But seriously, I have no great expectations, though I am encouraged by the turnout, the respectfulness, and some genuinely good questions. Since then I’ve gotten several “I have a friend who…” type comments and questions when I’ve seen students on the Smoker’s Porch or in the breakroom and the professor said that some of the comments made- especially on the Ezekiel verse/Sodom- made it into some student’s answers on his exam (in an essay question that asked them to compare/contrast stereotypes and their validity).

I was also surprised that nobody knew “my secret identity”. I’m not a total flamer (not that there’s anything wrong with that- in fact I mentioned it in my spiel that I think “flamers” [effeminate flamboyant and openly gay guys] get way too much scorn from many gays considering that were it not for them the gay rights movement for the “straight acting gays” would likely have been long delayed), but I’ve always assumed I was rather obviously gay (singing show-tunes, unmarried, pics of my small dogs on my desk next to the Egyptian god statues, etc.), but several expressed surprise (to me that day and to the professor later) of the “I had no idea…” variety. Of course I’m always amazed at the shortage of gaydar 'way down south in the land of Queer Paw-Paws.*

But I’m now considering reparative therapy as I can’t deal with the stress of being both black and a lesbian trapped in a pudgy white male body that seems increasingly determined to resemble Stephen Root. (Maybe he’s a queer paw-paw*.)

And don’t do drugs.
*Queer Paw-Paw- a term I’ve used on the boards before and that I’ve actually caused to have some currency locally. They’re those old (sometimes not so old) men who were gay in a time and place where you couldn’t be gay so now they’re married with kids and grandkids and droning on endlessly about their azaleas or how hard it is to find a fuchsia ascot. Some make lots of “business trips” to Atlanta without the wife (even after they’re retired) while the more annoying ones write letters to the editor about the immorality of gay marriage, and the most annoying ones do both.

17

Well, you get a standing ovation from this part of the gallery. You rock!

18

I agree and left this thread open in a tab waiting the conclusion promised [in a few moments]. I was getting antsy waiting, but it was worth it.

19

Damn, I wish I could have attended anything like that during my uni years. Oh well.

Great job Sampiro!

20

Sampiro, you are my all-time favorite white male black lesbian!

:cool: