An offer to the SDMB and the Teeming Millions

About This Message Board
1

It has also come to my attention this site has fallen into fairly sad technical shape. On going database issues, slow performance, strange connection issues with users, etc.

By day I am a systems and network administrator for a mid-size datacenter which hosts several hundred webheads, database servers, virtual hosts and servers, shared host servers, DNS servers, our domain registrar, and a slew of network devices, etc.

I’m been doing system and network administration over the years for police departments, public libraries, local government, software development companies, and small-mid size businesses. I’ve maintained websites and dedicated servers for large pharmaceutical companies down to small mom-n-pop flower shops. At the moment there are well over 500 domains served from my shop. I actually don’t know how many there are because we also host other companies shared webhost servers. We could be well over 1500 domains and websites at this point.

As some of you may know I am also the systems admin for www.Giraffeboards.com (and www.giraffezine.com) - which is currently seeing about 1/4 the traffic of the SDMB. This domain is hosted in a virtual machine on my own dedicated server in the datacenter I work at.

In the 7 months www.giraffeboards.com has been active we have had minimal downtime (far less then the SDMB) and the few we have had were planned for upgrades.

For “raff” regulars, they know I’m on top of any problem that may come up and proactively maintain the system to avoid future issues. I maintain regular system logging and graphing to be aware of future bottlenecks and to review history of past issues that come to my attention. If someone reports the site was lagging or unreachable 24 hours previous I can review my charts to see if we had CPU or memory spikes, extra heavy network traffic or some other issue local to the system. If not, then I can work with the user to see if their issue is related to routing to the datacenter. This is a good system which seems to be quite effective.

Of course, this is regular systems administration stuff. Every admin should have these types of things running to ensure the quality of service for their customers - in this case, the SDMB users - the Teeming Millions.

At this point in time I would like to offer my services to the SDMB. These services at the moment would be free of charge as I know the SDMB is having some interesting financial issues.

If the SDMB chooses to accept my offer of systems administration I can provide the following;

  1. Assessment of the current server hardware infrastructure and recommendations for improvement if needed.

  2. Assessment of current system configurations and recommendations for improvement if needed.

  3. Assessment of current backup routines and improvements as needed.

  4. Assessment of current database configurations and recommendations for improvement if needed.

  5. Implementing a virtual environment for testing of any and all new configurations and upgrades. All upgrades and configurations will be fully documented in detail as expected from any professional administrator and I will also document a roll-back routine.

  6. Implementing re-configurations and upgrades (points 1-4) on both the virtual and live systems.

  7. Installation of monitoring systems on the database, webserver and all hardware devices to ensure ongoing quality of service and aid in future support issues.

  8. 24/7 support with the new monitoring system configured to sent any problem alerts to my mobile.

  9. Provide clients with a point of contact for all client technical issues outside of using the software (route issues, perceived downtime, etc).
    Simply put, I am offering the SDMB and the Teeming Millions a chance to free the hamsters into the wild.

I am offering to provide the SDMB and the Teeming Millions a higher quality of service - a service worth paying for.

I’m offering to fix the ongoing issues that have plagued this messageboard.

I am offering these things free of charge.

2

This is something that can in no way be decided by the Teeming Millions or by the staff – it’s not our call to make, not any of us.

3

If not the members or staff, then who? Ed Zotti and/or Creative Loafing or whoever owns the SDMB at this point? Will this offer be given serious consideration?

4

Then,… where shall I make this offer?

This forum is filled with technical issues - issues I can fix for you. I would like to do this and get this site technically back on track.

It is time to start a new movement. The HLF - The Hamster Liberation Front! Let’s free those little guys and get this place running correctly.

5

So will you kick it upstairs as a serious offer?

You must realize this place is becoming more unmanageable on an almost daily basis.

This is an olive branch to good to be true. Let’s see if Ed is as big a man as 7 obviously is.

6

So will you kick it upstairs as a serious offer?

You must realize this place is becoming more unmanageable on an almost daily basis.

This is an olive branch to good to be true. Let’s see if Ed is as big a man as 7 obviously is.

ETA…Damn you Whisperer

7

So, Ed Zotti, or whomever…

Can you HEAR US NOW?

8

I’m breaking my self-imposed ATMB exile just to throw a few words out there so the SDMB management know what a goldmine is being offered. I’m pretty computer savvy including some experience as a web server sysadmin but, probably more importantly, I have worked with some of the most talented computer scientists and admins in the country at a variety of supercomputing centers. Seven is top notch. We’ve had nary a bump since giraffeboards started, almost exclusively thanks to his knowledge and experience. The dude knows what he’s doing.

9

With the whole buyout, I’ve been worried the SDMB wouldn’t have any place to go. Seven’s offer needs to be given to the new owners so they don’t kill the board if they just want to get rid of it without trying to sell.

Just throwing out ideas, here, but, since the members own their own posts (except that CL can use them without royalties), maybe we could do it without the owners, keeping a backup to make sure it doesn’t get closed. Could we work out some sort of tacit permission?

BTW, anyone know how big the SDMB database is?

10

Not your best, dear. I don’t think you quite understand the value of what he is offering. (And by the way, it’s all true: he really is that knowledgable.)

What you must do is kick this up to Ed. It would be foolhardy to the extreme to turn down Seven’s offer. Absolutely stupid, in fact. (Not saying you or Ed or anyone else is stupid; just that turning down this offer would be stupid — no matter who did it.)

So, the thing for you to do is bring this to Ed’s attention. If he refuses it, I will be… surprised isn’t quite the right word. Stunned, I think. And disoriented. You cannot fight ignorance by propogating it. Take this offer seriously. Don’t just dismiss it with a one-liner. Please. Move it on up the chain. Please. To whomever. I bet you ten bucks Jerry would jump all over it and say, “Hell, yeah!”

Do it, Tuba. If you care about the board, do it.

11

So, does this come under snipe, attack or annoy? :slight_smile:

Actually this looks to be a brilliant offer and I hope TPTB give it very serious consideration (that’s if someone can find out a way to contact these beings.)

12

By the way, welcome back, Seven! If your offer is refused, then take a simple bible lesson.

13

This has been brought to the attention of upper management. It is not a decision that mods or admins (staff) can comment on, let alone accept or reject.

14

No, you can not make the decision, but I sincerely hope that rather than just pass the offer on up the line, you and each of the admins and mods make your personal best efforts at persuading the powers that be to take up the offer.

15

And Seven, thank you very, very much for your most remarkable and greatly needed offer.

You have impressed me with how you have run the Giraffe Boards, and you have impressed me again with your offer to do the same for the SDMB.

16

True dat, on both counts.

As someone also employed in the Computing Professions, I will echo the sentiment that this is an INCREDIBLE offer. Truly. That someone would volunteer the knowledge and labor involved in the proposal is not something to be passed by as yet another random idea.

I’ve been involved with another board for many years – this board is also associated with a publication (a much, much larger one than the CL group). The board isn’t as large or busy as this one, never was, but was quite active compared to most. About two years ago it hit its highest number of consecutive users, about 1200. Soon after, the board went through a series of changes due to a corporate merger, where control passed from one set of hands to another set of hands in the new parent company. The board went through a period of several months where the new group tinkered with things, decided that SSL was mandatory for all boards which caused all sorts of problems, took it off, put it back on again, etc. Many users got so frustrated that they wandered off and essentially never returned. Today, if the board gets as high as 400 users, that’s notable.

All of that to say … technical issues kill web sites, especially message boards. If people can get in, can’t stay logged in, features don’t work, etc. etc. the less dedicated members will leave and won’t come back. If you are being handed, free of charge, a way to prevent that and even IMPROVE the user experience, why wouldn’t you want that? I understand there may be legal issues, but don’t let the lawyers kill a good idea. Figure it out, work it out, make it happen.

17

In fairness, Seven is a guy that just got suspended not so long ago. Now, fresh back from suspension, he’s smiling and asking politely for what amounts to control of the board. Maybe he’s the best computer guy in the history of history, with nothing but love in his heart and joy in his soul. Maybe not. I’d be skeptical if I was offered that deal.

18

Seven is an amazing techie, and I’d trust him with my firstborn computer.

19

Obviously I’m not saying “hey dudes, hand over passwords and let me dig around on your box.”

I would fully expect those in charge to request a resume and personal references (which I can provide) and there would need to be some form of paperwork in place before I’d even consider logging in. It would be like any other professional consulting gig I do.

I spend a portion of my days fixing messes people make (either from admin who don’t know what they’re doing or a misconfiguration on a clients server which allowed Hacky McHackerton in) and I can only say “Homie don’t play dat”.

I might be a tad on the snarky side when I post sometimes (I have a feisty sense of humour) but when it comes to administration I’m all professional with references to back it up.

But, your concern is noted.

20

I don’t understand that, Dex. Honestly, I don’t. You can’t *comment *on it? What will happen if you give your opinion? Will you be fired? I mean, I realize that you can’t make the decision, and I appreciate the fact that you moved it up the chain. But the notion that you can’t even say, “Wow! That’s an amazing offer!” is almost… I don’t know, KBG in its conception. You must be silent? That’s just so strange.

@Oakminster

Seven’s suspension had only to do with a confusing mess of misunderstandings, his own ascerbic and snarky wit, and the inability of some people to take a joke. He was banned originally, but the outcry was overwhelming.

Seven is a good egg. I’ve been on the sharp end of his wit-stick before, and it ouches a little bit. But it’s no big deal. He really has a heart of gold. He’s not the greatest diplomat on earth, but on the issues that cause the SDMB to be the message board equivalent of a third-world nation, Seven has the creds and the talent to analyze and fix it.

Rejection would be utterly and — I can’t even find the word — stupendously wrong headed.