The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > Cafe Society

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 10-08-2009, 04:40 PM
pythonzzz pythonzzz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Colbert wants to be written into the Bible

It's true!

The Blag Hag about Colbert

Mods - if this ain't entertainment, heh, move as needed.

Last edited by C K Dexter Haven; 10-08-2009 at 05:43 PM.. Reason: Fixing link -- CKDH
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:24 PM
Voyager Voyager is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Deep Space
Posts: 34,495
Linky no worky.

Have his fans broken conservapedia yet? I saw it last night, and almost broke a gut laughing.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 10-08-2009, 05:43 PM
pythonzzz pythonzzz is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Try this: http://blaghag.blogspot.com/2009/10/...servative.html
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 10-09-2009, 01:42 AM
Darkhold Darkhold is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
I think it's far more notable that conservatives are editing the Bible for Liberal bias. I read through the whole article waiting for the punchline. I'm still hoping that's some sort of elaborate joke.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 10-09-2009, 01:53 AM
Sage Rat Sage Rat is online now
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Howdy
Posts: 14,508
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darkhold View Post
I think it's far more notable that conservatives are editing the Bible for Liberal bias. I read through the whole article waiting for the punchline. I'm still hoping that's some sort of elaborate joke.
I still say that the solution is to just cut the New Testament.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 10-09-2009, 05:33 AM
Shirley Ujest Shirley Ujest is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 1999
I hope he gets his own action figure.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 10-10-2009, 06:12 PM
DKW DKW is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Hawaii
Posts: 2,314
"I was reading the Bible earlier today, and you will not believe what I saw! I can't believe some filthy liberal would put this liberal filth in!"
"What filth?"
"Here...right here. It says that if someone...anyone, anyone at all...is hungry, he can go into any field and eat his fill! Any field!"
"Hmm, you're right."
"Now, if he already has food, he cannot eat from someone else's field. Nor can he take any food away from the field; that would be stealing. But he has the right to eat!"
"Mmm...interesting. Sounds almost...Communist."
"You're damn right it's Communist! Gad, I can't believe some liberal socialist pinko hippie would put this Communist garbage in the Bible."
"Well, actually, that's an actual tenet from the laws of Moses. It was never not there. It's scripture, plain and simple."
"Wha...guh...nng...why didn't I find out about this sooner?"
"Well, just a guess here, but I'd say is because you were so busy going on and on and on about the fun stuff...y'know, "Honor they father and they mother", Sodom and Gomorrah, that psalm about the inward part weaving...that you never got to this part before now."
"Oh yeah, now I remember..."

Granted, because right-wingers don't know a damn thing about humor (two words: Mallard Fillmore), it really is hard to tell whether or not they're serious. This definitely looks like the real deal, though.

It's hard to imagine why this reactionary gated community website would even attempt something like this. I have to assume that they just don't have anything better to do right now. I mean, they won't have a fair debate on anything whatsoever, they definitely aren't interested in taking direct action to improve people's lives, and they don't even have a federal government honcho to rally behind (John Boehner? Puh-leeze...). How much mileage can you get out of "Obama lost the Olympics", anyway? In a sense, rewriting the Bible is the perfect project. It's big, it's going to take a long time, it's involves subjects they care passionately about, and, best of all, it's really easy for anyone to get into. Pick up a Bible and a highlighter, log into Conservapedia, and you're ready to join the fun.

The reason it's an incredibly lousy idea is that, geez, it's the freakin' Bible. There are lots and lots of people who aren't going to be happy with a right-wing revision, starting with, of course, liberals who will cry foul immediately. Then there are the actual God-fearing fundies, many of whom are getting increasingly aggravatged that the Republicans, for all their bluster about morality and family values, haven't done a damn thing to outlaw abortion or put the brakes on homosexual marriage. They are not going to be happy that Conservapedia has decided to strain at chickenscratch like "free market parables" or "powerful conservative terms" instead of, y'know PASSING LAWS based on biblical principles, maybe even LIVING them. (And of course there's that whole change-the-Bible-and-God-messes-you-up-good issue.) Let's not forget advocates of all the other Bibical interpretations who are going to fight this tooth and nail.

Whatever, should be fun to watch.
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.