More Conservapedia fun: 'Scientific Theory' is a just the secularized version of the word "heresy"

[Revtim]

http://www.conservapedia.com/Secularized_Language

While the development of conservative words grows by doubling each century, those with an anti-Christian and anti-American agenda, such as liberals, homosexuals, atheists, evolutionists and leftists, have attempted to remove the Christian origins of our language by replacing common phrases with secularized versions. By appealing to tolerance and political correctness, they have succeeded in propagating these secularized versions, even among those who don’t share their views. Such deceitful tactics are a prime example of Liberal redefinition and other Liberal tools.

Lots of good stuff in the list.

‘Heresy’ is secularized to ‘Scientific Theory’
Washington’s Birthday was somehow non-secular, but President’s Day is secular.
‘Constitutionalist’ to ‘Birther’.

[Frank]

@Revtim

Lots of good stuff in the list.

Give me a minute. I’m still stalled out on “the Christian origins of our language”.

I’ll catch up with you.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, it’s good enough for Conservapedia.

[Derleth]

They also have the following pairs:

Christ’s Mass - Christmas
Christmas - Xmas

First, [insert standard rant about how Xmas is a very Christian shortening of Christmas dating to an era when most Christians spoke Greek]. OK? Second, how can something be Christian one moment and secular the next? Fuck those guys, what is their problem?

This, however, I can get behind them on:

Resurrection Sunday - Easter

Easter isn’t secular, but it is (possibly) derived from the pagan Ēostre (Old English) or Ôstarâ (Old High German) and isn’t fully Christian on that count. Also, those damned Germans still call it Ostern!

Good luck convincing their fellow Christians of that.

This:

Thanksgiving - Turkey Day

is just idiocy parading as thought.

Something more probative:

Chosen lifestyle - Innate characteristic

Yep. They choose to have brown skin and names fresh from the Rio Grande. Can’t reason with the bastards.

Flood - Flooding

The progressive aspect is used by progressives so it’s evil and socialist and anti-Christian. You can’t have death panelling without progressives like the progressive aspect!

Islamic Terrorism - Man-made disaster

BIN LADEN DID KATRINA! BIN LADEN DID KATRINA!

And of course, YOU LAUGH YOU NAZI!

Starting in 1933 Nazi Germany had a program to secularize the German language.

[bris]

The sad culmination of the Sprachregelung was in the vocabulary for the Endlösung.
Humans became units, murder became deportation etc.

I hope most of this is trolling. I hope all of it is trolling. My hopes are rarely fully realized.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

There’s nothing quite as heathen as gerunds, I guess.

[WotNot]

@Frank

Give me a minute. I’m still stalled out on “the Christian origins of our language”.

I’ll catch up with you.

You’re doing better than me – I haven’t got past the first clause. What the hell does “the development of conservative words grows by doubling each century” mean?

[elucidator]

Ooops! Never happened. Can’t prove it.

[Kamino_Neko]

@WotNot

You’re doing better than me – I haven’t got past the first clause. What the hell does “the development of conservative words grows by doubling each century” mean?

It means the article was written by an illiterate idiot, or someone trying to look like an illiterate idiot.

‘It’s an article on Conservapedia’ has the exact same meaning.

[waterj2]

@Tengu

It means the article was written by an illiterate idiot, or someone trying to look like an illiterate idiot.

‘It’s an article on Conservapedia’ has the exact same meaning.

Ah, but which is the secularized way of saying it?

[Capitaine_Zombie]

@WotNot

You’re doing better than me – I haven’t got past the first clause. What the hell does “the development of conservative words grows by doubling each century” mean?

This made me laugh really hard. There’s a dimwitt counting words somewhere, and assessing if each of them is Conservative and Liberal. That’s hilarious.

[Revtim]

Don’t forget to look at the talk page for the article, where Schlafly justifies how obviously secular things like Washington’s Birthday are really Christian. Good times, good times.

[Revtim]

Hey, I also noticed today that one can sign up now and edit articles immediately, which they previously blocked when too many people were going on there doing stuff like replacing “Dinosaurs” with “Jesus Horses” for laughs.

Not that I’m suggesting anybody should do something that, I just bring it up as a related point of interest.

[Derleth]

@Revtim

Hey, I also noticed today that one can sign up now and edit articles immediately, which they previously blocked when too many people were going on there doing stuff like replacing “Dinosaurs” with “Jesus Horses” for laughs.

Not that I’m suggesting anybody should do something that, I just bring it up as a related point of interest.

Assfly goes through a binge-purge cycle every so often; even if someone were to make such obvious troll edits both the edits and the accounts used to make them would be damned to be forgotten after a fairly brief period.

[Meyer6]

@WotNot

You’re doing better than me – I haven’t got past the first clause. What the hell does “the development of conservative words grows by doubling each century” mean?

If you click on that sentence in the article, you’ll get an essay with this stellar insight:

Powerful new conservative terms have grown at a geometric rate, roughly doubling every century. For each new conservative term originating in the 1600s, there are two new terms originating in the 1700s, four new terms in the 1800s, and eight new terms in the 1900s, for a pattern of “1-2-4-8”. This implies a conservative future and a correlation between conservatism and truth.

So apparently the fact that more and more ‘conservative’ terms are being created means that conservatives must have the truth? I still don’t know how exactly they determine what is or isn’t a conservative word. But the list of words and their supposed definitions is quite hilarious, including such gems as:

fat farm: a place where obese people – such as self-centered atheists – might go to try to lose weight
mindset: close-minded point-of-view, typically in adherence to a liberal falsehood and often to the exclusion of Christ

Wow - so only atheists get fat, and liberals are the ones guilty of an inflexible mindset. Interesting!

[Kobal2]

@Meyer6

Wow - so only atheists get fat, and liberals are the ones guilty of an inflexible mindset. Interesting!

Well, it’s true innit ? No matter how many gods you want to make an atheist believe in, he won’t cave in. YHWH, Thor, Ra, the Great Spirit, none of that is good enough for him. What a hard headed motherfucker !

[elucidator]

…and often to the exclusion of Christ

“Hit the road, Jewboy!”

[marshmallow]

That list is great.

cyberbullying
a type of obnoxious and hurtful liberal behavior on the internet

I thought cyber bullying was something super sensitive liberals made up to get attention. Get your story straight!

crystal clear
liberals are the opposite

OK, but how does that make crystal clear a conservative word?

sacred cow
a person or idea, typically liberal, that becomes immune from criticism because of its political usefulness rather than its truthfulness, as in the theories of evolution and relativity

trivia
insignificant detail, which can sometimes obscure what is important and distract people from the Bible; liberal Wikipedia is filled with trivial junk

wannabe
a word that criticizes liberal status worship

Apparently atheists are fatties.

Since World War II a majority of the most prominent and vocal defenders of the evolutionary position which employs methodological naturalism have been atheists.[5] For a list of overweight and/or obese notable atheists please see: Atheism and obesity

Given the pseudoscientific nature of the evolutionary paradigm, it not surprising that many overweight and obese prominent evolutionists/atheists ignore or take lightly the recommendations of nutritional science, exercise science, and medical science in terms of the harmful effects of being overweight (see also: Evolution, Liberalism, Atheism, and Irrationality).

Make the font a little bigger, with more color, and you’re almost into time cube territory.

[Capitaine_Zombie]

@Revtim

Hey, I also noticed today that one can sign up now and edit articles immediately, which they previously blocked when too many people were going on there doing stuff like replacing “Dinosaurs” with “Jesus Horses” for laughs.

On the talk page:

Washington was a prominent Christian whose habit of praying and appealing to God for assistance is well-known. He was a kind of saint, and the downplaying of his (indisputable) significance is due to his Christianity. If he had been an atheist then you’d see the opposite effect.–Andy Schlafly 14:20, 22 February 2011 (EST)
What kind of a saint was George Washington? --JohannesZ 15:52, 22 February 2011 (EST)
The kind that wins wars. There have been other examples. Have you ever heard of Joan of Arc

Dude, if anyone had posted this on the Dope, I would know they are trolls, and obvious at that. How the fuck would they distinguish between people pretending to be crazy and the actual crazies?

@Revtim

Not that I’m suggesting anybody should do something that, I just bring it up as a related point of interest.

OK…wink back.

[joebuck20]

@Meyer6

Wow - so only atheists get fat, and liberals are the ones guilty of an inflexible mindset. Interesting!

Like Rush Limbaugh and Roger Ailes?

[Guinastasia]

Oh man, I could read this all day!
Saint Patrick’s Day - Paddy’s Day

The Reverend Martin Luther King Day - MLK Day

Jesus! - Gee whiz! (wait a minute – shouldn’t this be the other way around? Isn’t it a sin to take the Lord’s name in vain? )

Disciple of Christ - Christian

Harlot - Slut (I don’t know about you, but I think I’d rather be called a harlot than a slut)

Homosexual - Gay

Nation - Country/State/Government

The State - The Government

Govern - Rule
He forgot one: Synonym.