i wonder what sperm think or feel. they want to find the egg, don’t they? or does a sperm just happen to swim, just for the heck of it, it doesn’t even care, and happens to find the egg, with no sense of reason or purpose or meaning or urge/desire/emotion/longing at all? is the consciousness that i have now the same as the consciousness that was in the sperm that i came from?
right now, i feel, “i am, and i want to be happy”. when i was 4, i felt “i am, and i want to be happy”. was i a sperm that felt “i am, and i want to be happy”?
does the feeling of “i am” and the longing for happiness and purpose come after the sperm and egg come together and work together to mix dna and form a body and nervous system and such?
or does the feeling of “i am” and the longing for happiness and purpose exist in the sperm? we can see the sperm swimming like it really wants to get somewhere, or does it just look like it wants to get there, but it actually doesn’t care? what do sperm feel, and how does that relate to what i feel and what i am
or does the feeling of “i am” and the longing for happiness and purpose exist somewhat in the egg, too? but when i say “i am”, i feel that i am one, not that i am two. it doesn’t make sense to me that i could have been the sperm and the egg, separated, at the same time. i am one, in one place. i am not two
if a sperm longs for happiness and purpose, where does that longing for happiness and purpose start? how are sperm created? is the creation of a sperm the creation of one that feels “i am, and i want to be happy”?
or does the feeling “i am, and i want to be happy” exist already, somewhere outside of the sperm, such as sunlight, and it somehow gets inside of the sperm?