I was wondering just how many people out there are at all like me, as far as this goes. (I know of exactly one other living person who’s just like me when it comes to this. The only other person I’ve ever known to have this bent was my dear, departed dad.)
To wit:
When I’m out eating at a restaurant and someone I know from work, say (or some other aspect of my life), comes up to my table and wants to say hi, I start to get annoyed because, invariably, it means that, despite the fact that I’m trying to eat my food before it gets cold, they’re gonna want to chat. And so then I’m going to feel obligated to stop feeding my face for however long they feel like chatting and, therefore, my food will get cold. So I invariably come off as a little “short” (read: an asshole) when some acquaintance comes up to me at a restaurant, as I utter a terse “hello”, flash a brief, all-too-insincere smile, and then go about my eating.
Furthermore, whenever I’m at the grocery, or a department store, or at the local mall, and I see someone that I know before they see me, I try like all hell to avoid them and not be seen. I’m so bad at this that I have “friends” on Facebook that when I see out, I’ll do this same thing.
So, how many of you (if any) are similarly neurotic about this?
(Disclaimer: This does not hold true for my handful of good, true friends. Just everyone else. Including most of my family.)
I wouldn’t mind seeing people I know out if I ever looked good when I saw them. I never see anybody I know when I go out for my birthday looking all hot and shit. Only when I go to CVS without a bra.
I don’t mind seeing people I know when I’m out - and will often wave hi and then give them their space, especially if they are eating. Because I don’t like my food getting cold either.
It depends on where I see someone, how much I will chat with them. I often run in to people at events where they might have shown up by themselves - and I want to make sure they know they are welcome to join us if they prefer. But if they seem put off by running in to someone they know - I’ll just be cheerful but brief and back off.
It doesn’t make any difference to me either way, unless it’s a person I do my best to avoid at work…
However, unless it’s a person I’ve known for a while and interact with a lot, I may not even notice. For example, the help desk guy who I may have at my desk once in a year, and who I may pass in the hall if I happen to be in the computer building - if I see him in the real world, I may think he looks familiar, but since he’s not in a familiar venue, I’ll probably just ignore him. I’m really bad with faces and names in general anyway. And unfortunately, being a female engineer makes me a bit more unique and memorable, so people I can’t place at all have greeted me by name in the past, which is just a *leetle *bit awkward…
The only thing I hate is running into someone I know at the grocery store… and then running into them again in the next aisle, and then the next aisle, and the next one…
I picked some other option, because while I don’t mind running in to people I know, I don’t love it. Don’t hate it, either. But there, I’m not the kind of person people want to chat with at length, so I have no worries about them keeping me from my meal, and I’m not overly concerned about the temperature of my food, so if things get a little cool I’m okay with that. I kind of like it if someone I know acknowledges me when we run into each other…it makes me feel less invisible.
Wow. I had no idea that people were so antisocial (currently about 50% of poll respondents indicating some degree of agreement with OP). I mean, I know a lot of people have trouble talking to strangers in public, but to actually dislike seeing people you know? I don’t really know what to say.
You don’t have to stop eating to chat with someone. I would have said the most natural thing to do would be to invite the person to join you. Whether they do that or just stop by the table for a bit, you can keep eating while you talk.
I enjoy it enormously. It’s one of the things I’m happiest with living in my small town. It is, simply put, impossible for me to walk down the street here without seeing several people I know and saying hello to them.
Then again, I’m running for office. It’s now an actual part of my job description.
Unless it’s one of a handful of really good friends, I’m mainly a bit annoyed if I see somebody I know outside of work; I bartend, so people tend to assume that if I’m grocery shopping I’ll be just as happy to chat with them as I would be when I serve them drinks.
This isn’t true…I see some of these people every day, more than my best friends or my mother, and since they are neither, they kinda drive me nuts. I’ll put on the happy face at work cuz it’s my job, but I’ll be damned if I wanna wear that happy face when I’m off work.
So if I can, I will dodge them. If I can’t, I will be very pleasant and very busy. “So nice to see you! I wish I had time to talk! But I’m due at in twenty minutes…see you soon!”
Some other option: If it’s someone I like and am happy to see, then I say hi. If it’s someone I’d rather not talk to for whatever reason, I escape. I used to avoid people more than I do now. The only times I’ve avoided people I’ve seen when I’m out lately have been former boyfriends or dates with their new girlfriends.
I don’t like meeting people I know in public. It’s partly the awkwardness of being obligated to talk to them or at least acknowledge them in some way, as I’m not good with small talk and pleasantries.
The other part makes me look a little nuts. I don’t know how to react to people when I meet them outside the context I’m used to seeing them in. Like a few weeks ago, I saw a girl from my philosophy tutorial on the train. My thoughts were something like “Oh no. I like you fine at uni, but this is completely different. We can’t talk about philosophy for the whole trip - even if I could find enough to say, it’d be really weird to bring it up here. But what else can I say to you? I have to say something. Otherwise you’ll think I’m being rude. I don’t want to insult you. I don’t want to be over-enthusiastic about running into you either. What’s an appropriate level of enthusiasm? How do I prevent it looking faked? If I say anything, will it be obvious that I’d rather not be talking to you? Will you start thinking I hate you? I don’t! You’re with a guy. Probably your boyfriend. I’m sure you’d rather be alone with him, but if you see me you’ll have to say hello. We’re on a train, I can’t leave after we say ‘how are you’. I’ll be interrupting by my mere presence. Clearly my only hope is to avoid your notice.” (Bear in mind that I’ve already acknowledged that this is crazy, so none of you guys need to point that out.)
For me it’s usually pleasant - e.g. when I eat out and there are people I know, it’s either a short greeting and update or we agree to eat together, depending on how we read our situation and mood. Except for obvious date situations; I steer well clear then.