I would like to know the legalities or otherwise of deficating into a bag or other container and mailing the contents to someone. Would this be legal?
I have wanted to do this for a long time, but I am sure that it is a felony of some kind to do do it. There are plenty of people I would love to mail a turd too, old bosses, people from my past, company CEO’s, my congressman, etc.
Somebody mentioned it would be illegal without a biohazard stamp on it.
Any thoughts?
Ask at the post office. They can give you the official answer.
Have it irradiated and sterilized before you send it.
I’m pretty sure mailing poop to hated people has been done before. In more than one country.
Check to see if it’s legal of course. I know it has been done. Two things come to mind about this concept. First, it must be packaged properly or USPS rules would be violated. It may have to be marked in a certain way. It could be classified as biological product that might preclude it or restrict it. But in the end, you are also mailing your DNA to the individual. Do you desire to give up your privacy to that extend?
Also, if you had the notion of mailing it without a return address, think again. The post office won’t accept it at the walk-in office and they should segregate it, and possibly just destroy it, if deployed in a drop box.
Why is your DNA in your poop? Isn’t it just what remains of food you consumed and intestinal bacteria?
Why would you even bother to post something like this?
I am pretty sure that you could package and label it in such a way that it would be legal as far as postal service regulations go. That said, it would probably be illegal because you would be harassing them.
As for the DNA question. If there were blood in the mailed shit, there would be DNA. Is even a little bit of blood in the stool common?
DNA can be tested in feces using the QIAamp DNA Stool Mini Kit. As to mailing it, it could possibly be a crime under 18 U.S. § 1716. Injurious articles as nonmailable, or it could run afoul of regulations on mailing biohazardous materials, but I’m far from certain on either of those - I confess a lack of experience in poop-mailing law. Depending on the intent with which it’s done, it could also be constured as criminal harassment or terroristic threat.
“As for the DNA question. If there were blood in the mailed shit, there would be DNA. Is even a little bit of blood in the stool common?”
You can mail someone else’s shit.
I will mail a tiny feces sample once every couple years, so it can’t be completely illegal.
I say go for it and see what happens
The mucous membranes of your gut are continually being renewed. As the cells at the base of the membrane divide and multiply, the old cells on the surface of the membrane die and are shed into the interior of the gut.
In the latest Bloom County collection, Breathed mentions in one of the comments that Hunter S. Thompson mailed some human excrement to Doonesbury creator Garry Trudeau (or so he was told by Trudeau, at least).
Thompson strikes me as someone who would not consider the legality of the act to be an overriding concern.
(While performing a google search for corroborating evidence, the search string “Trudeau Hunter Thompson turd mail” returns a link to the Straight Dope Message Board. Always on the cutting edge, aren’t we.)
This is because all terrorists are turds, ergo all turds are terrorists. A captured turd, isolated, and undergoing temporary or prolonged sensory deprivation during relocation to an unfamiliar and unknown destination is prone to sewercidal thoughts. Devoid of any and all implements for self harm, the favoured merde morte method is choking. Officially, a dead deuce in a container omitting all light is known as a ‘strangled darkie.’
Why you would give a shit such shit to illustrate not giving a shit to someone who once shit you is metaphorically and literally giving a shit. So you’re shittin’ me, aren’t you?
I’m having a wee bit of trouble parsing this, but I think you’re asking why mailing poop could be terroristic threat. Terroristic threat doesn’t necessarily involve WMD’s or what we usually think of as “terrorism” - it involves generally putting somebody in fear of bodily injury. Calling someone on the phone and telling them “I’m going to come over to your house and beat the living shit out of you” is terroristic threat. Mailing somebody a turd could be construed as terroristic threat, harassment, or stalking.
Ah, no pravnik - I get the concept. No crap. I do.
Okay, I believe you and shit. 
pravnik!! Did you just post shit to me?
Off topic, but I can’t resist - quoting from the above link:
Infernal machines?! I know the US is powerful, but have they invaded Hell as well? :eek:
Lol, but “infernal machine” is a recognized technical term for “an explosive device designed to harm or destroy, especially with criminal intent.”
That is why I always waterboard mine.