Good afternoon! The following is an email that I just sent to a free online psychologist, Dr. Matt. This post is my appeal to all the happy, wise posters of the Straight Dope, which I have learned a great deal from (although I haven’t posted much):
Jason, 24 years old, Orlando, FL, single (and have not connected emotionally with a woman in a long time, perhaps ever)
Good afternoon! First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this email (and presumably, responding).I had an epiphany today, which I have never had before. I think I may be happier today than I ever have in my life. It's the strangest thing, I feel like I'm the most happy person that I know. I feel like I've been depressed for as long as I can remember, and over the past few days it's just lifted from me, a little bit each day. It's incredible.
I want to tell my family that I love them, I want to somehow share this feeling with everyone I know. I feel no anger towards anybody. It is incredible. And I feel like I never want this feeling to end. I want to grasp onto it, and remind myself that it's possible, in case it ever leaves. And it all came from fulfilling a personal goal of mine last week. (for the record, I've had a bit of a cold, so I'm taking Prednisone, Mucinex, and Clarithromycin, and a benadryl last night. Other than that I am on no medications (and have never been on any psychiatric medications). I'm quite sure this is not medicine related.
My questions to you are: Will you give me words of encouragement, and advice on how to stay like this? How can I share this feeling with everyone without them thinking I've suddenly gone insane, or by somehow making the feel worse by comparison? The personal goal I mentioned is being hired as a firefighter. I'm a little concerned that if something bad happens - somebody dies - that I could suddenly crash. So if that happens, I want to make sure I know that there's a way to recover, and to know that this feeling is possible.
Also for the record, I am not religious, I don't believe that God exists, but I feel such an incredible sense of enlightenment that I understand how a religious person would think he's been touched by God. I'm sure a lot of people would be convinced that I've been touched by God, but I don't believe it.
Thank you in advance for your words.
It’s funny, when I got up from writing this I had a difficult time walking - I felt almost stoned. I walked in the bathroom and did a stroke screen on myself… just in case. I’m a paramedic, and I’m quite convinced I’m not having anything physically wrong with myself. It’s almost hard to believe.
Interesting. I was hoping you’d reply to me, Qadgop. Do you think that’s what it is?
I don’t take prednisone chronically, and I just started it last week. I used to take it when I was younger and had asthma, never with a strange reaction.
It came gradually the past couple days, but really it was listening to a Tool song (that I posted about) last night, then getting up today and playing the best volleyball I’ve ever played in my life for 6 hours. On the way home is when I felt this.
It was very hot today, but I hydrated myself last night and this morning, and throughout the day. I’m still peeing clear, so I know I’m not dehydrated.
Thanks for the advice. Maybe it’s having that effect on me, and all of the endorphins from playing volleyball kicked it into super high gear.
I ate a relatively small breakfast at 9 AM and haven’t eaten anything since. Yet I’m not hungry at all.
I also feel like since I posted this, I’ve had a positive effect on everyone around me. My friend who I’ve been avoiding for a while, who was very heavy into drugs, called me immediately after I read your post and told me how well he’s doing, how he’s back in town, and clean, and that he wants to hang out tonight.
My sister and brother-in-law both listened to the Tool song that I posted about earlier, and seemed touched (but not profoundly so.)
My sister and I just watched an episode of the Soup (with Eminem doing a number of skits with him), that seemed very strange. Some parts were hilarious, and some parts I didn’t laugh at all. But both I and my sister both thought it was a pretty strange episode. Even Joel McHale said, after one of his jokes, “This is the darkest Soup ever”
Alice The Goon, I think you’re quite right.
I emailed this to about 6 different “free email” pscyhologists shortly after posting it. And I did half fantasize that it’d go extremely viral, and maybe even start a religion. I thought about Tori Amos and Maynard James Keenan both reading it (eventually)… not sure what I thought would happen after that.
Should I just ride this out? I feel ever so slightly paranoid that something bad could happen, but I don’t really think it will.
Yeah, not to be a downer, but you sound like me in a manic moment. I once said to a friend something to the effect of “this is the greatest idea that I’ve ever had and I know you might be busy but it’s too important not to share it with you now.”
It was an ok idea. But I was just ridin’ the wave when I said that.
Not a downer at all - in fact I’m a bit relieved that this makes so much sense. I’m just not sure what I should do (if anything).
Also, I don’t have medical insurance so I certainly wouldn’t want to go the hospital or something in case it’s necessary. I do have a doctor I can see Monday who will see me at a reasonable rate though. I’m suspecting the prednisone will lose its effect by then, though.
I’m not sure if it’s against the rules to give out medical advice over the message board, but please know that this is helping me greatly. Thanks, Qadgop.
(And I do feel a bit calmer now)
Can’t you call the doctor or his representative right now and ask what to do? You sometimes shouldn’t abruptly stop taking this drug, and yet you don’t want to keep taking it unsupervised if it’s having an adverse affect on you. Please call wherever you got your Rx.
I don’t know how to reach him after hours like this. If necessary I could probably find out from my parents, but I also don’t want to freak them out too much.
I’ve been consciously trying to act fairly normal in front of my sister and brother-in-law, who are here with me. I haven’t told anyone about this except for posting to this message board, and emailing all the psychologists (who haven’t responded)
Good call Alice. The CVS is closed and I couldn’t get ahold of a pharmacist, but I’ll search online and call a pharmacist if I can. I’ll let you guys know what happens.