These past couple of weeks have been rough for me. My depression has been, for lack of a better description, acting up. We’ve (we meaning my psychologist at school and me) decided that I’m in need of more aggressive treatment right now - hospitalization was mentioned, but only as a sort of last resort. Spring break is supposed to start next week, but my psychologist suggested that I take the rest of this week off - she was concerned that if I stayed at school, I’d push myself too hard and only make things worse. On Monday afternoon, I met with my dean, who is incredibly supportive and has talked with all of my professors for me. My dad picked me up from school this morning, and tomorrow I’m going to see my psychiatrist…
I know that all of the sorrow and hopelessness and… well, all of this bad stuff that’s within me right now will get better. I just don’t feel it right now. I’m not articulating what I’m thinking very well at the moment, but I know so many of you have been through the depths of depression and I trust that you’ll understand what it is that I’m feeling, even if I can’t explain it at the moment.
So, can someone just tell me that everything is going to be OK? Even if saying it doesn’t actually fix things, I think it will make me feel a little bit better.
Looks like you have a good support system, people who care about you, recognition that you need help, and a treatment plan. That puts you four steps beyond most people who suffer from depression.
Relax. Accept the help and support that you’re being offered. Things will get better.
You know you’ve got my support sweetie. You’re definitely doing the right thing, and I’m sure everything will be okay. You can’t keep a good fairy princess down.
Ye, yes yes, i know exactly what you are talking about.
When it’s not happening, sometimes you forget what it feels like, and then It happens and you think-
“oh yeaahhhhh…THIS is what it feels like.”
It happened to me, unfortunately, this past week, conveniently when my therapist disappeared for two weeks.
I haven’t needed her for four months and as soon as I think I’m ok…WHAM!
But it does feel better, it DOES get better and the nice thing is that you can cognitively, if not emotionally, understand that. It will be ok.
It…will…be…OK.
If you e-mail me, i can tell you about my glasses. They are actually working. And I built myself a fort. You could try that.
I smiled today while listenig to Moby. It was the first time I REALLY smiled in two weeks, so I think I must be getting better.
Once again-
It…WILL…BE…OK.
If you want you can pop this stupid balloon ~~~~~
And when you come back, if you want, we can get slurpies and throw things. Might help me a bit, too. If you want.
E-mail me, because i write better when I don’t think the whole world is reading it.
Hey dear, I haven’t talked to you since your roommie poisoned herself with alcohol (a situation wherein you acquitted yourself magnificently). And that all went down OK and your past that now, right? I suffered through a clinical depression when I was 19-22 years old and got over it.
A big part of getting you to where you’re going is recognizing that all those little bits of experience start to add up in two domains: 1.) the knowledge gained from experiences allows you greater confidence in dealing with the same or similar situations in the future, and 2.) the temporal experience of seeing it all pass by allows you to gradually gain the long range view that a depressive state tends to inhibit.
I hope you re-read the fact that you took care of so many things by yourself, you ARE already doing well, sweetie, it just doesn’t FEEL like it. I hope you print out this column and keep it someplace handy, read it again.
You are seeking help, and you’re pacing yourself, listening to those you love and trust, all wonderful things. You are showing tremendous courage under duress. Things that really show you have a wonderful head on your shoulders.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Serendipity}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I can’t tell you that everything will be Ok. I don’t know. I know you have a hard road to travel. Your post tells me your addressing the problem, your pretty tough, and your committed to making things better and working through this.
That’s recipe for success.
I encountered mild depression as a teen after I incapacitated myself for an extended period through injury.
It helped me to get angry. I’d pedal a stationary bike as hard as I could and get myself all worked up about things until I was exhausted. Anything to avoid just sitting their feeling bad.
Thank you, everyone. It might seem silly, but reading all of your encouraging words makes the road ahead seem a little less dark. Thank you.
Turp, I’ll definitely e-mail you tomorrow, 'cause I’d love to hear about your glasses and your fort and everything that’s going on. I’m planning on coming back to Boston (although possibly with a lightened course-load), so if you’re still up for slurpies and throwing things, that’d be great. (((((Turpentine))))
You know, Anti Pro, I think I should print this thread out – along with a bunch of others that remind me what an amazing group of people we have here. Maybe I’ll make a little SDMB Happy Thought album.
I, too, am going through an extremely rough period in my life, with a lot of uncertainty and pretty hopeless feelings. I can’t, and won’t, say that I know “exactly what you’re going through,” though, because I don’t.
What’s helping me through this is that I am getting professional help and, while it appears that it’s a long road ahead for me, the first few steps, while small, have been important. I’m doing what I can with what I have to find my way.
That you have this incredible support from family, faculty and friends indicates that you have a solid foundation to work from. This is a huge blessing and one that you acknowledge accordingly. These first initial steps that you have taken are equally important. My prayers that your journey is a safe one are with you.
{{{Serendipity}}}
All I can say is that it does get better!! I have been there, too, and it’s no fun. Keep strong, and keep seeking and accepting support when you need it. We’re with you!
Of course no one can say with certainty how things are going to work out. But from what you say, you are handling things in a very mature, positive and proactive manner. Just what I would expect from you, dearheart.
You have my love and support, and I believe you have my email address. Please use it if you want to.
Serendip, I will say that every challenge you overcome is another sparkle on your “World Championship Belt”. And if you don’t have one, you aren’t looking back on the good things you’ve done in the past. You’ve got a great guy chasing you (ie Sim), and a bunch of good loyal fans here on the boards. If your World Championship Belt doesn’t shine, you haven’t taken out the polish yet!
Remember, the “bad” things are just learning experiences. The good things are diamonds on your belt. Trust me. . .
Tripler
I’ve got a belt to rival that of some WWF wrestlers.
I was on my way to bed, but I had to pop in to send a hug. You have an excellent support system here, and it sounds like your family is there for you too, so know that you can lean on us because together all of us are stronger than one of us. You know how to reach me, so don’t hesitate. Sending happy thoughts your way…
I feel you, dawg. It will be okay. It turned out okay for me, and from your OP, it looks like you’re handling this eight bazillion times better than I did. beatle’s post says what I would’ve a lot better than I could’ve, so I’ll just give a “me too” to that.
Keep ya head up, 'dipity. You’re on the right path.
First off, hugs to you. As another fellow depressive, I can kinda understand how you feel. I felt that way a couple of weeks ago. (turned out I had forgotten to take my medication) It will get better. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week, but it will get better. As was posted, get some exercise. That always helps.
You have an excellent suppport system here on the boards, there are people who care about you, spring is coming and the birds are a-singin.
It will be OK. If you ever doubt that, just come back here and ask us again and we will tell you that it will be OK. Repeat if necessary.
You have so much support from so many good people. Your family, school and your fellow Dopers. Never, ever hesitate to lean on us for that. We are convinced that you will support any one of us the day we need it.
Everything cycles, the good and bad. When the ride is getting rough you just have to hold on a bit tighter. It will pass. It’s not just you. You’re not alone.
~~~~~
