Inspired me while reading this thread.
This happens to me constantly: I go to up to an ATM and wait behind like 3 people, who are all doing something for WAY longer than it takes to either (A) take money out, or (B) make a deposit. My turn comes and I’m in and out of there in 90 seconds flat. What the fuck are people doing at an ATM for 20 minutes?!
You take 90 seconds? What are you applying for a business loan?
This drives me crazy too. Go to a freakin’ branch if you have that much stuff to do.
IME people tend to think they are a lot faster at the ATM than they actually are. Because you are caught up in pushing buttons, counting money, checking balances, etc. you feel like that time goes by very quickly but when you are waiting in line behind someone it turns into, “Geez, how many fucking buttons do you have to push, lady?!” because you don’t have anything to do but stand there and wish it were your turn at the machine already.
I always assume these folks have about $200 in their checking account and are trying to do a leveraged buyout of a Fortune 500 company.
If you look carefully, you’ll recognize them as the people who were at the airport tying up all of the counter agents with 20-minute transactions as your boarding time approached and the security line got longer.
I dread the guy who apparently has less than $20 in his checking account, which he learns by trial-and-error, attempting to withdraw $60, then $40, then $20, each time rejected, rather than checking the balance first. Then he stares at the receipt for a few moments to let it sink in, I gird my loins for my turn, and he pulls out another ATM card and starts all over again.
No-fuck-no. I watch people. I do not mind how long your transactions take. But when you get up there you damn well better have your ATM card out. Now is not the time to go digging through your purse/on the floor/what have you. And when you are done, don’t just stand right there to go through your stuff, put your money away, etc. Pull forwards and leave room for the next person to go. I live in an EXTREMELY safe town, you are fine! And if you have more than two transactions, hie thee inside.
I hate it too. There are ppl who bring their statement books and put it into the ATM to update their book. Then they sit there think, and put their card back in to do more transactions.
Another irritating thing are those people that automatically assume I’m going to steal their PIN and they go out of their way to hide PIN number and take extra long as they look behind to see if I’m peeking…
A lot of times it’s not even this. It’s just transaction after transaction.
Okay, that I’ll grant you is extremely annoying. I think I may be approaching this differently than other people too because I never go to the bank during business hours so anything that needs to be done must be done through the ATM. I don’t fret about people making huge bank deposits or whatever because it is 10 pm and they can’t get into the bank to do it now, you know? During business hours that kind of thing is not acceptable.
You know what is worse? People who pull up to the drive-by mail drop and then start writing checks and stuffing envelopes and applying stamps. The mail drop at the post office near my house is on a dedicated little lane so once you are in there behind someone there is no going around or backing up if someone is behind you. I make an effort to roll through, never letting the vehicle come to a complete stop and expertly tossing my mail into the slot as I roll past. But there are always the morons that have stop and finish getting their crap together and then open the door to be able to reach out to the slot. How do these mouth breathers make it through an entire day?
I call it “Hostile take-over through the ATM”.
I don’t live within 50 miles of a branch of my bank, so all my transactions are done by ATM.
My payroll is direct deposited so I don’t usually do deposits. BUT, when I do, my deposit envelope is already filled, filled out and sealed before I get to the machine. Plus I grab some more envelopes for next time. They’ll last surprisingly long in the glove compartment.
Withdrawals shouldn’t take more than 30 seconds longer than the machine takes to count out your money (60 if you need to check your balance).
I have been behind people at an ATM that I thought were refinancing their home loan for serious.
Oh this is turning into a post office rant? I have seen people walk up to the window with a vase - no box, no packaging, no ADDRESS, no customs forms, no nothing - and say “I want to ship this to Turkey.” Ye gods.
I recall one time I was behind a guy at an ATM he puts in his card, punches some numbers and gets a bunch of bills. He counts them, I see there are five of them.
Then he punches, what I assume is done and the machine spits back his card.
Then he PUTS THE SAME CARD back in. And punches numbers, gets his money, counts five bills and hits a button gets his card back.
Then he PUTS THE SAME CARD back in and does this a total of five times.
I’m thinking he since he was counting five bills each time they probably were 20s. So that means he got $100 each time for $500 total.
And it definately was the same card. So what was up with that? Could he not just get $500 all at once? I realize ATMs have limits, but this was the same card, unless somehow he had different accounts linked to the same card?
Perhaps the guy had multiple accounts associated with his ATM card and he wanted money out of each? I am not saying his behaviour was even remotely reasonable, just that it is the only reason I can think of that makes the remotest sense.
I have seen and even know people that take an inordinate amount of time to do basic things. The thing is, it is like a magic trick in reverse. I have watched them do it and it looks like they are moving and making decisions but nothing gets done in any reasonable amount of time whether it is getting money out of an ATM, paying bills, or even just walking down the street or folding laundry. I have studied the problem and I still can’t figure out what they are doing to make it take so long. Maybe some of it is an observer problem. I have noticed that the lead car at a left turn signal seems to take at least 15 seconds after the arrow turns green to start moving at all.
Did the vase have flowers in it?
Saw someone at the PO counter once with a (poorly) gift-wrapped Christmas present, complete with big poofy bow, that they wanted to ship. They seemed baffled by the postal clerk’s insistence that it had to be in a proper package.
I feel this way about just about everything. Almost anything I need to wait in line for (ordering at a drive-thru, paying at the grocery store, etc.) I get done with much faster than all the nitwits I have to wait for before I get my turn. They should really have separate lines for dumbfucks.
It’s over there where no one is standing. 
Amen to that.
I feel the same way about people checking in at the airport. I travel a lot and I can’t think of a time when my actual time at the check-in desk took more than 1 minute. There’s so little to it. Confirm flight details, offer passport, answer routine questions, plonk case on conveyor, take ticket, walk away.
Why it takes some people 15 minutes to check-in just beats me, and why the airlines allow it I don’t know. I think the staff at check-in should be given much more latitude to say, ‘You know what? This is taking way too long. You haven’t got any of your paperwork ready; you seem surprised that we might need your passport or some ID or a clue about which flight you think you’re on; you either haven’t read any of the rules about baggage limits and so on or you decided they just magically didn’t apply to you, and now you’re causing this massive delay that inconveniences all those people in line behind you. Go away, get your act together, and come back when you’ve decided to behave like a grown-up who doesn’t needlessly inconveniencing other people. I am going to see to all these other people, who will each take about 1 minute to check in, and then I’ll see to you. Got it?’
This reminds me of George Carlin’s famous observation:
Did you ever notice that everyone who drives slower than you on the freeway is an idiot, and anyone who drives faster than you is a maniac?