Another Craigslist Idiot

The BBQ Pit
1

Is there a male equivalence to PMS?
If so, I have it today.
With a vengeance. With a hot branding iron in one hand and a chainsaw in the other.

My apologies for the long rant here.
It is not, after all, that important in total scheme of things.
Hopefully you will allow me vent a long-standing peeve that has festered long enough and needs to be lanced.

Back story:
Multiple Webmaster/Web Developer Wanted ads on Craigslist from same individual, often several a day only worded differently.

Homemade cookies and ice-cold milk served after the show…
----------------------Start Craigslist post------------------------
Webmaster needed ASAP!!! (State College, PA)
Date: 2010-09-16, 3:36PM EDT
Reply to: job-gmy2y-1957547712@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am creating a website and I need an AWESOME webmaster. I need someone who is EXTREMELY creative and can design something incredible. I need this person to make a blogs, different links etc. If you can please send me some examples of what you have done or what you can do I will tell you more about my idea for my website. We will talk money if I know you can do the job.

  • Location: State College, PA
  • Compensation: Will Provide.
  • This is a contract job.
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1957547712
-----------------------End Craigslsit post -------------------

Dear Clueless,

(1) I know I can do AWESOME, though I don’t actually post that fact in CAPS to tell folks.

(2) By the way: I also do EXTREMELY creative things with websites, though I don’t actually post that fact in CAPS to tell folks.

(3) As a side-note, you forgot to capitalize “DESIGN SOMETHING INCREDIBLE”. An exclamation point or two (or 15) added at the end of that sentence would have given you even greater CREDIBILITY. (WOW DUDE U R AWESOME!!! CAN I COME WORK FOR U?)

But us experienced IT folks can tell right away that you are not only a poser, but a loser that will hang out to dry in this industry. That is, if we even let you near our clothesline.
Personally, my clothesline is more valuable than your sorry ass. Sorry.

Go back to your dorm room, smoke a jay and/or have a cold beer or two and tell your buddies how you are going to be rich if only you could get a rube to agree to make you your AWESOME website - in which, in my humble opinion (netspeak: IMHO), you have no actual intention of paying a developer for.
Which is why no one has replied to you. Multiple postings for the same “opportunity” just make you look like a fool. Or an idiot.
Or most likely, both.

I know, I know.
You are hoping for some dumb ass sophomore CS student who had the bright idea to hang a “Webmaster” shingle on his dorm room door to reply, and you hope to tantalize the fuck out of the idiot.
I’ve seen your other ads on pennstate.craigslist.org
You ain’t fooling anyone but yourself.

Good luck. I’m sure that if you ever find an INCREDIBLY TALENTED WEBMASTER, they will fall for it hook, line and sinker.

Then you can go back to playing marbles with your classmates.

Oh, as yet another side note, which I doubt will register in your still-developing brain:
We AWESOME web developers have been around the block more than once.
Don’t give me that bullshit about “We will talk money if I know you can do the job.” shit.

I know my field of expertise, and if you have that great of an idea then money/compensation would be second or third on my list.
If it was THAT great (holy crap, I forgot the !!!) I wouldn’t even mention it during our first, second, or even third meeting.
I would be discussing AWESOME things like implementation, business models, revenue streams, server/hardware/database/hosting requirements, and bunches other cool shit like that.

But I can tell you haven’t a clue anyway, so I won’t be contacting you.
My efforts in this arena are greater than yours will ever be and certainly disallows bullshit from your type.

Hey, maybe you should try Amway. They are always looking for suckers. Plus you could fit that in between your English Composition 101 and your Remedial Writing for Business classes.

Oh and another thing, dude: “Get Off My Bandwidth ya punk”!

Sincerely,
Cabin_Fever

2

Badger badger badger badger badger … mushroom mushroom!

3

Ya know Inigo, in the spirit of the OP you really should have just typed out badger all 12 or 13 times instead of taking that shortcut. I expect better of you and am disappointed.

4

Why do so many otherwise-intelligent people try to exchange goods and services using Craigslist, anyway? I got skeeved out the first time I saw the website, which resembles what people in 1992 thought was the height of HTML creativity.

Not to mention that everyone involved seems to give off an aroma of pedophilia.

5

^^

6

ALL CAPS DANG IT!
Badgers insist upon this.
Mushrooms howsoever, don’t care.

7

Wait. You are saying I am otherwise intelligent?
I never detected that aroma on myself unless I showered that morning.

But yeah, once in a while Craigslist rises from the pedophilia swamp and offers some useful postings.
Separating the chafe from the wheat is best left to how much idle time you have on your hands.

8

So uh, how did the Craigslist posting bother you at all? Just ignore it and move on.

9

So how does this scam work? Is it just the e-eversion of the flaming bag of dogshit? Is there a profit angle here?

You’re sounding like John McCain telling gays to get off his lawn. I think you’re mad at someone else. Don’t hold back, flame the real dipshit. You can’t care that much about some dickwad in Nittany playing net games now that he escaped from the trailer park.

Is it that asshole who decided he wanted to change the specs at one minute after the last minute?

Maybe it’s that selfish bitch/bastard you live with leaving his/her crap all over the place, and never doing his/her share while you’re working your ass off for shitheads who don’t appreciate what kind of crap they would end up with if you hadn’t bailed their assed out.

Or is it that lazy kid of yours who thinks he’s going to live off you forever and doesn’t appreciate how hard you had to work to get where you are today?

How about those morons in the town who want to raise your property taxes because they wasted $1 million on that new facility that nobody wanted or needed, but was approved anyway because the councilmen are friends with the contractor?

Man, your life sucks, and you’re blaming the guy who would be working at McDonald’s if the economy wasn’t in the outhouse basement and people could actually get jobs.

10

I can think of a few ways:

– In the interviewing process, they ask for very concrete examples of what you’d do, design-wise, then take them wholesale and don’t hire him.
– They ask you to do the job without pay, but as a “partner”, getting a slice of the profit, whereas if it looks like the site would really start to turn a profit, they’d find a way to make off with your content and ideas to another, “unrelated” site.

But yeah, most likely it isn’t an outright scam, just the standard naive businessperson who thinks they can get a cadillac for the price of a Kia.

11

Oh I see. You are one those EXCELLENT WEB DESIGNERS from that enlightened period which said Craigslist poster seeks. :slight_smile:
Remember the <BLINK> tag?
Oh wait… that was way after 1992. Before that, we called this shit “hypermedia” or some such nonsense.

Back in 92 all I had was BBS phone numbers, links to FIDONET, CompuServe, and a tricked out ATT (made by Olivetti)) 8086 computer with a state-of-art 1200bps modem. (Which cost me as much as one months rent back then).
The
Oh, plus a certain phone number to the THE PARADISE BBS, but I digress…

EDIT: It was an 8088. Whatever. I sound like my own grandpa now.

12

Because it is an insult to my profession.
Hire your next-door-neighbors’ 12 year-old because he can create a great web page?
Cool.
More power to all, and I would be there if possible to encourage and maybe mentor.
Ask him to look for a development position with a major corporation?
Naw.

Said Craiglist poster has just rubbed me the wrong way the last few days is all. He appears like a 12 year old looking for something out of his league.

And I have ignored it, but his incessant multiple postings everyday that reveal he (or she) hasn’t a clue about the development efforts that you and I take for granted just got my knickers in a wad.

I DID mention that this wasn’t high on the list of things that matter.
:Shrugs:

I feel much better that I spouted off regardless.

On reflection, it was the posting style. With CAPS and EXCLAMATION points and that fact that this wanna-be has the audacity to wonder if an experienced developer is even worthy of getting to the compensation stage.
If he (or she) had even a slightest clue on the financing of successful websites and the cost of cutting-edge development for an AWESOME website.

13

There ya go.
One has to realize that State College, PA is a college town. So it may be an undergrad with a really good idea, or even an really bad idea.

I may be an IT recruiter that hopes to grab a CS student on the cheap.

It may be a scumbag that hopes to to steal all your work and not pay you a dime.

It may be a scumbag IT headhunter that only hopes to fill his pockets.

Been there and done all of that…
But JeesusCristOnAStick at least write an advertisement that leaves out the AWESOME and the EXTREMELY CREATIVE and however many !!!.

Be professional, and you will attract professionals is what I am saying.

14

Um, I felt like bitching OK?
I’ve got male PMS so you can’t argue with me. No way, no how!*

*I’m just repeating what Ms C_F might say. I tend to learn from the Masters. :smiley:

15

Sorry, but I don’t think you’re going to work out. Best of luck in your endeavors.

16

After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals. Despite your outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.

Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately relocation to your area. I look forward to working with you.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates,

Fear

17

Hm, complaining about the CAPITALIZED werdz in the ad, but I see only 2, and one of them is a normally capitalized acronym. Your rant had more capitalized werdz than his whole ad.

Web designers have been around the block, eh? Yeah, on their way to mow the lawn at Aunt Mildred’s, maybe. Isn’t Craigslist the number 1 site for hooker ads? And you expect that atmosphere to be more professional. They’d have to advance beyond Times New Roman font first.

18

You use prepubescent boys to shower?

I use water.

19

At first I thought that you were bunching your knickers for no good reason. However, spamming is certainly a decent reason to get irate.

20

Cabin_Fever, for whatever it’s worth…as a web developer, I not only feel your pain when it comes to contract jobs, but I respect the living shit out of a designer who can create something professional and sound that I can throw some solid functionality behind. (If you’re capable of high-end design AND development, then your skills well exceed my own in that field, and I salute you.)

Here’s hoping you can find a client that isn’t a total dingus, whatever your means of choice may be, Craigslist or otherwise. I stand (sit?) as living proof that it does happen, and can be lucrative enough when your cards finally fall as you hope. Cheers.