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  #1  
Old 10-20-2010, 09:17 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Would a vagina really pickle a cucumber?

As in the Family Guy episode The Fat Guy Strangler. Of course, Marion was imaginary, which is probably how the joke got by the censors.

What would happen if it was done in real life?
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  #2  
Old 10-20-2010, 09:19 AM
Hello Again Hello Again is online now
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Do you believe that a vagina naturally contains salt, vinegar, and perhaps dill?
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  #3  
Old 10-20-2010, 09:29 AM
Fiendish Astronaut Fiendish Astronaut is offline
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This thread was why I joined the SD message boards.
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  #4  
Old 10-20-2010, 09:43 AM
Darth Panda Darth Panda is offline
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Getting a Rabbi to certify it as Kosher would be interesting...
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  #5  
Old 10-20-2010, 09:48 AM
Wile E Wile E is offline
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If a woman left a cucumber in her vagina for 3 weeks, she'd have a lot of things but a pickle wouldn't be one of them. Raging infection from rotting vegetable matter is most likely.
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  #6  
Old 10-20-2010, 10:34 AM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hello Again View Post
Do you believe that a vagina naturally contains salt, vinegar, and perhaps dill?
You don't need vinegar for pickling. Just a brine will do. (It'll naturally sour from Leuconostoc and Lactobacillus bacteria.)

But, no, I don't think the vagina is going to contain the right conditions for this.
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  #7  
Old 10-20-2010, 10:35 AM
awldune awldune is offline
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Seems possible if we only consider the pH...

http://women.webmd.com/vaginal-wet-mount
Quote:
The normal vaginal pH is 3.8 to 4.5.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickling
Quote:
a pH less than 4.6, which is sufficient to kill most bacteria.
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  #8  
Old 10-20-2010, 10:54 AM
Hello Again Hello Again is online now
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Originally Posted by pulykamell View Post
You don't need vinegar for pickling. Just a brine will do. (It'll naturally sour from Leuconostoc and Lactobacillus bacteria.)
Brine: water saturated or nearly saturated with salt, is not naturally found within the vagina, any more than bay leaves or mustard seeds are.

Last edited by Hello Again; 10-20-2010 at 10:55 AM..
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  #9  
Old 10-20-2010, 10:55 AM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is online now
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"Tonight's episode of Mythbusters contains material intended for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised."
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  #10  
Old 10-20-2010, 10:59 AM
awldune awldune is offline
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Wiki article on pickling seems to indicate that "brine and/or vinegar" is used -- I think salt is not required depending on your definition of "pickle."
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  #11  
Old 10-20-2010, 11:04 AM
pulykamell pulykamell is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hello Again View Post
Brine: water saturated or nearly saturated with salt, is not naturally found within the vagina, any more than bay leaves or mustard seeds are.
Actually, a pickle brine is anywhere from 3-10% salt. I use a 5% brine. Not even close to saturation with salt.

Last edited by pulykamell; 10-20-2010 at 11:06 AM..
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  #12  
Old 10-20-2010, 11:09 AM
kenobi 65 kenobi 65 is offline
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"Tonight's episode of Mythbusters contains material intended for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised."
Kari: "No way in *hell*, guys. I quit."
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  #13  
Old 10-20-2010, 12:36 PM
johnpost johnpost is offline
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"Tonight's episode of Mythbusters contains material intended for mature audiences. Viewer discretion is advised."
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Kari: "No way in *hell*, guys. I quit."
aw come on, it's just a miniature not a slicer.
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  #14  
Old 10-20-2010, 12:38 PM
The Hamster King The Hamster King is offline
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Would douching help?
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  #15  
Old 10-20-2010, 12:42 PM
Darth Panda Darth Panda is offline
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Would douching help?
I really wish you had posted that in the wrong thread by accident...
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  #16  
Old 10-20-2010, 12:45 PM
Rigamarole Rigamarole is offline
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Am I the only one thinking "time for an experiment"?
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  #17  
Old 10-20-2010, 12:58 PM
Rhythmdvl Rhythmdvl is offline
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Poor Mrs. Piper!
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  #18  
Old 10-20-2010, 01:05 PM
freckafree freckafree is offline
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Suddenly, the apocryphal Washington Post "Style" section headline about home canning* takes on a new meaning.

*You Can Put Pickles Up Yourself
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  #19  
Old 10-20-2010, 01:35 PM
BubbaDog BubbaDog is offline
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Um...Annie,

In those photographs they aren't really trying to make pickles.

Glad to help
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  #20  
Old 10-20-2010, 01:42 PM
lieu lieu is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hello Again View Post
Do you believe that a vagina naturally contains salt, vinegar, and perhaps dill?
I suppose he was a rather curious sort.
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  #21  
Old 10-20-2010, 02:05 PM
Hello Again Hello Again is online now
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I LOLed
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  #22  
Old 10-20-2010, 03:55 PM
dracoi dracoi is offline
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To give a slightly more serious answer...

Pickling only works when the amount of acid/salt/sugar is relatively high compared to the product being pickled. When you're sticking a cucumber in a jar of water, there is a lot of acid/salt/sugar. The cucumber dilutes that out somewhat, but there just isn't enough water in the cucumber to make a significant difference. People who re-use pickling liquid always add a little extra vinegar or salt to make sure they don't over-dilute.

Because there's not a cup of acidic liquid in the typical vagina, the water content of the cucumber would be really quite significant. It'd be like doing your pickling in a teaspoon of vinegar. The cucumber's moisture would more or less neutralize the tiny amount of acid, and its sugars would make it a playground for yeast and/or bacteria.
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  #23  
Old 10-20-2010, 04:04 PM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hello Again View Post
Brine: water saturated or nearly saturated with salt, is not naturally found within the vagina, any more than bay leaves or mustard seeds are.
I'm still looking for my horse and cart.
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  #24  
Old 10-20-2010, 04:17 PM
Waxwinged Waxwinged is offline
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Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
What would happen if it was done in real life?
Pain, suffering, and interestingly colored discharge.
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  #25  
Old 10-20-2010, 04:22 PM
running coach running coach is online now
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I would think it would work if a person is a real sourpuss.

*flees*
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  #26  
Old 10-20-2010, 04:49 PM
MOIDALIZE MOIDALIZE is offline
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Am I the only one thinking "time for an experiment"?
Una better run while she still can.
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  #27  
Old 10-20-2010, 05:56 PM
SeaDragonTattoo SeaDragonTattoo is offline
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Patty Piper packed a peck of pickled Peters...
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  #28  
Old 10-20-2010, 10:05 PM
Ruken Ruken is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dracoi View Post
To give a slightly more serious answer...

Pickling only works when the amount of acid/salt/sugar is relatively high compared to the product being pickled. When you're sticking a cucumber in a jar of water, there is a lot of acid/salt/sugar. The cucumber dilutes that out somewhat, but there just isn't enough water in the cucumber to make a significant difference. People who re-use pickling liquid always add a little extra vinegar or salt to make sure they don't over-dilute.

Because there's not a cup of acidic liquid in the typical vagina, the water content of the cucumber would be really quite significant. It'd be like doing your pickling in a teaspoon of vinegar. The cucumber's moisture would more or less neutralize the tiny amount of acid, and its sugars would make it a playground for yeast and/or bacteria.
There's not a cup of liquid, but it keeps getting generated. Plus, we could use a very small cucumber.
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  #29  
Old 10-21-2010, 05:24 PM
dracoi dracoi is offline
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Originally Posted by Ruken View Post
There's not a cup of liquid, but it keeps getting generated. Plus, we could use a very small cucumber.
Uh huh... Just promise me you won't tell me how that turns out.
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  #30  
Old 10-21-2010, 10:25 PM
Billdo Billdo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruken View Post
There's not a cup of liquid, but it keeps getting generated. Plus, we could use a very small cucumber.
You know what they say: "It's not the size of the cucumber . . . ."
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  #31  
Old 10-21-2010, 10:47 PM
NinjaChick NinjaChick is offline
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According to a brief look at the internet, cucumbers are best pickled at temperatures in the 70-75 degree range, and vaginas tend to be considerably warmer than that, so I imagine that could interfere with the pickling process. And since the body tends to basically shut down at body temperatures considerably higher than 75 degrees, I imagine if you had a vagina at that temperature, it would not be producing the typical secretions.
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  #32  
Old 10-21-2010, 11:08 PM
dogbutler dogbutler is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darth Panda View Post
Getting a Rabbi to certify it as Kosher would be interesting...
Maybe if she's Jewish?
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  #33  
Old 10-21-2010, 11:16 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is online now
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I don't know the answer to the OP's question. The closest I've personally seen is a vagina shooting a banana across the room. It did not seem pickled.
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  #34  
Old 10-21-2010, 11:42 PM
Derleth Derleth is offline
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Originally Posted by Siam Sam View Post
I don't know the answer to the OP's question. The closest I've personally seen is a vagina shooting a banana across the room. It did not seem pickled.
But were you pickled?

Maybe there's spooky pickling-at-a-distance going on here!
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  #35  
Old 10-21-2010, 11:48 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is online now
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I'd rather not say.
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