I'm just gonna go get shitfaced after work today

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Fuck it, I’m getting hammered.

I just deleted a tl;dr post about the offenses I encountered before 7:00 this morning, and the subsequent grievances that have succeeded in chapping my ass, but instead I’ll just point out the one that cracks me up the most. So I’m going to sell my car for a couple of reasons, one of which is I’m moving, and decided to investigate whatever is going on with that check engine light before I engage in any combination of fixing and selling it. Aside from the tickets I have on my car for not having a permit (which I do, by the way, displayed prominently and exactly as we are instructed to), there was a lime green notice stating my car has been chalked for abandon, and that it would be towed within 72 hours of the date on the notice. Wtf? Dude, I hadn’t driven my car in a week and a half; how is that abandoned? It’s not like it was covered in a pile of dirt and leaves, having been there for two months unattended. Also, can’t these shitheads run the plate and see it’s registered to an address right in front of where the damn thing is parked? What kind of clean(ish) car with current tags and parking permits parked three yards from where it is registered would strike anyone as abandoned?

The snow-balling of retardedness that lead to this makes me laugh. First, apparently no one bothered to even look at the giant red permit on my bumper, or else I wouldn’t have gotten ticketed for not having one. Then, I guess several unattended tickets made it look abandoned? The reason I didn’t notice, in case anyone is wondering, is because it was parked on the north side of the building, and I enter and exit via the west or south side. What if I hadn’t taken my car to the mechanic today? As the notice was dated November 1, I would have tried to go to the grocery store on Saturday and been all, “Dude, where’s my car?”

Fuckers. Also work sucked, these bastards told me I have to show up in person to contest these frivolous parking tickets, one of my co-workers can reasonably expect to be strangled by me, it’s goddamn cold, and I have three cavities. Yes, someone needs to call the waaahbulance.

I’m going to the bar.

2

Instead of getting hammered, how about going for a walk in nature, enjoying the fall foliage, and getting high on life? On the way, stop to pat a puppy on the head, give a child a lollipop, and smell some roses.

P.S. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Turn that frown upside down!

3

I vote do both. I forget which area of town you’re in, but you should try the Aster Cafe on St. Anthony Main. Their patio is lovely, they have delicious, delicious, non-frat-boy oriented drinks and food (unlike the rest of that strip). Fall foliage and drunkenness should go hand in hand.

4

Nah, just go to the Schooner.

5

Old skool works too, of course.

6

Sounds like life is giving her juniper berries, so she should make gin martinis!

7

Hey, I feel your pain. I also had one of these abandoned vehicle stickers slapped on my car window recently. A few of them, in fact.

I live in an apartment complex, though the parking is controlled by the city, as the streets in here are city streets. Each apartment is entitled to resident permit stickers for two vehicles. I have two vehicles, a new one, and a 9-year old one I decided to keep rather than trade in. Said 9-year old vehicle doesn’t get driven much, as the new one gets more mileage and is just plain better to drive.

Enter the old lady who’s probably been living here for 40 years, and has nothing better to do with her time than meddle in other peoples’ business. I’m nearly positive it was her, because the car was parked in front of her apartment, when all this started, watched our her window in that ‘nosy-old-lady’ way as further developments happened, and someone had to have the motivation to keep harassing me. More on that in a sec…

So, last Saturday morning I was woken up by the sounds of a truck outside the house. I figured it was probably the garbage truck, but I glanced out the window and saw a tow truck in the process of trying to angle my car out of the spot it was parallel-parked in. I threw on some clothes and ran outside, and said something along the lines of ‘WTF??’, though perhaps a bit more politely. I hadn’t noticed the sticker on the window, and they said they received a report of an abandoned vehicle. I said I assured them it was not abandoned, and I live right there, pointing toward my building. I convinced them not to tow it, and they told me if I am not using the vehicle often, I should at least move it now and then. I said I didn’t know this was required by law, and that if they ran the registration (which is current) they would see it was registered to the address it was parked in front of, but OK.

So, I moved the car. A few days later, maybe Tuesday I think? I get home from work to find my car gone. It had been reported as abandoned again, and this time towed, without notice, as I had checked for another sticker every day. I began to wonder if the police department here keeps any records, or consults them… Next day, I picked up my car during my lunch break, to the tune of $145, some for the impound fees, some for the cab ride to pick it up.

Come home from work a few hours later, and yet AGAIN, there is a sticker on my window saying the vehicle will be towed in 48 hours. On the bottom of the sticker, where the various reasons for the warning are listed, was a little check next to the box labeled ‘abandoned’. The nosy-old-lady, of course, was peering out her window at the proceedings, glowering at me the entire time as I assessed the situation.

At this point I figured: a.) The police can’t be this incompetent. This woman must have a son or daughter, niece or nephew, or whatever, that is a cop. b.) This woman has nothing better to do with her time. c.) This woman felt slighted by my thwarting of the first attempt to tow my vehicle. d.) She’s definitely behind this, and definitely has nothing better to do with her time. Finally, e.) This woman has a SERIOUS lack of creativity, and needs to find something better than the whole ‘abandoned’ schtick. I guess if it’s working, though, why change it, right?

So, this morning, exasperated, I gave up, and I went and rented space at a storage facility to park the car for a while, until this lady loses interest. I suppose I could have confronted her on the whole matter, but it didn’t seem worth it.

For the record, I’m getting hammered tonight, too.

8

Me too - it’s Guy Fawkes night here and I’m going to burn some shit whilst drunk in time-honoured fashion.

9

How long can you park in the same spot without moving it? When the sticker gets put on your car, is it parked in the street, or in the apartment complex parking lot? That’s just not right. I would complain to the police department.

10

Isn’t that tomorrow? Remember, remember, the fifth of November?

11

Now that you mention it, lemonade would be a refreshingly sweet drink after a busy day at work.

12

Wow, what a bitch. I would almost like to confront her for you just because I really hate busybodies.

13

I used to get high on life, but unfortunately I’ve built up a tolerance. While I started out seizing the day, pretty soon I was seizing 2 days, 3 days up to a week at a time just to cop the same buzz.
-Arj Barker

14

Dude, you are taking your life in your hands, here. Your life.

Stranger

15

Ahh, but here in New Zealand it’s 3:30 Friday afternoon at the moment - Hi from the near future.

16

I’m home, and am not as hammered as I could be. I was damn tempted to stay til close, but five hours is plenty considering I’m supposed to be at work tomorrow. The stupid car thing isn’t even why I’m mad as a hatter. It’s crappy, but I focused my OP on it only because it’s funny.

We all know that petty annoyances seem like the greatest tragedies in the world when your day starts out badly. But what happens when actual, objectively and legitimately bad, things happen to you in one day? My boss joked that I have a target on my back. My friend, who has mild-to-moderate paranoia problems said, “It’s a good thing you’re not paranoid like me, because I’d be totally freaked out by this.” Yeah, but enough about that, and fuck me sideways with my vagueries (soon to be a word) and lack of further details.

And now…

I will eat you alive.

Ten minute bike ride away, but they don’t have a full bar.

And finally…

You have made me laugh. Thanks, and we may have similar pains, although if there is someone out for me (and maybe there is) I can’t pinpoint that person.

So when I was bitching to my friend, she offered up something like, “I’ll bet some jackass was just annoyed by your car being there.” I live downtown, so parking can be difficult in my neighborhood. “I’ll bet someone had a hard time parking, and got all pissy thinking, ‘Man, I can’t find a spot. That car is still there, and isn’t going anywhere,’ and so it was reported.” I’ll bet one trillion dollars – okay, maybe one billion, considering that I don’t have one trillion dollars – that some asshole was annoyed by my car because he couldn’t find a parking space. Fuck him.

That said, I’m going to work late tomorrow and leaving early.

Also, thank you Firefox. Your red underlining makes it easier to catch spelling errors. I’m still sure this post contains errors, though, that mere spell check will not register. Be well.

17

Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays!

18

No, no, no. You have it all wrong. The adage you were after here is “When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours.” (Or, “When life hands you lemons, grab the salt shaker and bottle of tequila.” But I don’t like tequila, unless I’m just in the mood to get into a bar fight. Which may actually be exactly what Mean Old Lady is after…)

19

Let’s just say that they know me at parking court. At this point I’m fairly positive that I’m on a greatest hits/biggest offender/general asshole list. I protest ALL of my tickets, and often do more than one in a given hearing! Not moving my car is also a problem to them.

Fuck them. Thousands are written every day and less than 5% protest them. I only lost once, to a wicked cunt.

Don’t strangle your co-worker though. Then it’ll be harder to (justify) going to the bar without a jerb.

20

Would’ve loved to’ve knocked one back with you last night and watch your face get all asymmetrical.

;):smiley:

Hope today is better.