Gifts for female friends

[Fat Chance]

So, I'm a guy. Broke up with a very long term girlfriend recently, and have become fairly close friends with 2 girls from work that have recently gone through relationship issues of their own, so we bonded. I mentioned that I won't have to stress about thinking of Christmas gifts for her this year, so they decided they want to do a little gift exchange with the 3 of us, $50 limit. Women

What the hell do I get them? I've really only bought gifts for the girlfriend, my mom and my sister. Any suggestions for platonic female friends, one is 29 one is 36?

[Maggie the Ocelot]

Not jewelry. Any kind of jewelry (even cheap costume or silver-cart-in-the-mall stuff) from a male to a female will be interpreted as a strong sign of interest. This could make things awkward.

[Arnold Winkelried]

A framed 8x10 portrait of yourself? I've always wanted to give that as a present to someone but have never had the courage. It would be fun (in an evil way) to see them stammer and try to think of something nice to say about the present.

Otherwise, I would go for books or videos. Something from the classics. Something with a female character.
Like Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe (book or movie), Middlemarch by George Eliot (book)

[Maggie the Ocelot]

Anyway, if they're your friends, you should know the things they like. Does one love reading? Get them a book or Borders gift card or such. Is one a computer geek? Get her something related to that.

Basically, just like a gift to a male friend - something that reflects their personality and interests.

[cherry]

Giftcard to Sephora or a box set from Sephora of various makeup sets or brushes.

[Hello Again]

Unless they hate makeup.

Again - they're your friends. What are their interests?

[SecondJudith]

Originally Posted by Fat Chance

Women

With that attitude you'll go far in relating to your friends as if they're actually people! I can see why you're having trouble shopping for them.

What kind of music do they like? Do they go to films? What sort of things do you do together?

[Fried Dough Ho]

Am I the only woman who hates getting gift cards? I think that is an unimaginative short-cut that shows the gift giver doesn't value me enough to learn about me.

I think that anyone giving gift cards is just taking the easy route out of gift-giving. There are a ton of interesting things that could be done, which -- granted -- just take a little time and thought:

A basket with a mug, some tea or coffee, and a book that YOU like with a note why you think your friend might enjoy it. "Brew up this tea and curl up with this book and cherish the warmth of our friendship..." or something like that.

Food: Cost Plus Imports and similar stores sells a ton of smaller-sized packaged food. Even if they don't cook, there are cookies, nuts, condiments, and more. "You have a spicy personality" and the basket could include spiced nuts, a collection of spices, and a some spiced wine.

Does any of them travel? A small travel diary with an elegant pen and a leather folder for their passport.

Into sports? Regalia tschotskies.

You must know SOMETHING about these girls and anybody -- not just women -- like gifts that showed you put some thought into the gift, even if it is something they may not necessarily use. Moreso than a gift card, I think...

[Fat Chance]

Originally Posted by SecondJudith

With that attitude you'll go far in relating to your friends as if they're actually people! I can see why you're having trouble shopping for them.

What kind of music do they like? Do they go to films? What sort of things do you do together?

I'm joking! They appreciate my sarcasm, it seems.

Anyway,

One, very much into music and I thought of something along that approach. Otherwise much of her life is consumed by her 5 year old daughter (single mom).

The other, big into excercising and adventure sports type things.

Our time outside of work is generally hitting nyc restaraunts, bars, movies, etc. General hanging out social type things, nothing specific or themed.

[Fat Chance]

Originally Posted by Fried Dough Ho

Am I the only woman who hates getting gift cards? I think that is an unimaginative short-cut that shows the gift giver doesn't value me enough to learn about me.

I think that anyone giving gift cards is just taking the easy route out of gift-giving. There are a ton of interesting things that could be done, which -- granted -- just take a little time and thought:

A basket with a mug, some tea or coffee, and a book that YOU like with a note why you think your friend might enjoy it. "Brew up this tea and curl up with this book and cherish the warmth of our friendship..." or something like that.

Food: Cost Plus Imports and similar stores sells a ton of smaller-sized packaged food. Even if they don't cook, there are cookies, nuts, condiments, and more. "You have a spicy personality" and the basket could include spiced nuts, a collection of spices, and a some spiced wine.

Does any of them travel? A small travel diary with an elegant pen and a leather folder for their passport.

Into sports? Regalia tschotskies.

You must know SOMETHING about these girls and anybody -- not just women -- like gifts that showed you put some thought into the gift, even if it is something they may not necessarily use. Moreso than a gift card, I think...

Thank you! This post has got by brain moving now, and I agree with the gift card thing. Not very personal at all.

[Count Blucher]

I wish I could say "do this" instead of don't do that, but its all I really know. Money, gift certificates, etc, bad idea unless they know you are totally clueless & ask for it. (I had some nieces who always wanted Best Buy gift certs, but thats them.)

Accept the things that you cannot possibly know or get right: fashion, music, whats 'hot'. Avoid these like plague as you have a better chance of getting the steel ball all the way to the end of the hardest level of Labyrinth on the first try. Instead, go with what you know.

I ask, "Is it funny? Is it cute? Is it something they'd use? Or will it collect dust or be re-gifted?". I'm often wrong (Why should reality be any different? Go figure.) but I feel that a laugh is at least worth something and it will make the opening of packages more fun.

[Hello Again]

Friend 1: An hour of housecleaning services (check bulletin boards or ask friends for recommendations)
Friend 2: 2 month membership at a climbing gym to chase those winter excercise blahs away

[Sateryn76]

Think of something they like, and then go to www.etsy.com and type it in.

I agree with the no jewelry, but there should 1000 different things to choose from, and it's almost all handmade, which chicks love.

[FasterThanMeerkats]

Not a chick, but I always go with Bath & Bodyworks gift cards.

It shows you care enough to embarrass yourself by walking into a girly store for them, but isn't skeezy becuase you only bought gift cards and weren't trying to pick out something a little too personal.

EDIT: Alternatively one of the B&B baskets of stuff isn't a bad choice either.

[Sattua]

I'd say a nice mug with some nice tea or coffee is hard to go wrong with... as long as you know whether they're a tea drinker or a coffee drinker.

[Anaamika]

Nonono, don't give them any sort of gym exercise thing. That is saying "I think you are fat".

I like the mug of tea or hot cocoa or whatever.

[Tequila Mockingbird]

I think a person cannot have too many warm fuzzy socks in the wintertime.

[CrazyCatLady]

Originally Posted by Fat Chance

Thank you! This post has got by brain moving now, and I agree with the gift card thing. Not very personal at all.

Well, it can be personal, but only if you know someone well enough to get a card that's as much an experience as it is stuff. Things you know they enjoy the process of shopping for, supplies for things they enjoy doing, that sort of thing. I'm meh about cards to clothing or book stores. I'll use them and be entertained or not naked or whatever, but I'd really just as soon you went through the process of picking them out. But cards to the fabric store, or to Lowe's are awesome. I love the process of shopping for fabric--all those colors and textures, so much potential inspiration--and then of course there's actually using the fabric and using or gifting or selling or donating the final result. And Lowe's cards tend to go toward stocking the garden--the whole process of choosing the plants, digging in the dirt with the sun on my face, cooking with things I grew with my own hands is something I find immensely pleasurable and having someone subsidize it for me is like having Christmas all over again in the spring.

But if you're asking people on a message board for gift ideas, you don't know these women well enough to pick that sort of gift card, so I wouldn't go that route.

[TruCelt]

How about just taking everybody out to a special restaurant? Something you wouldn't normally choose - new and itneresting experiences are great.

Is there a pottery place near by that lets you paint or make pottery by the hour? It would be especially wonderful if they coudl bring the kids.

One of those "Dinner done" type palces. They do "parties" where you go cook with a couple of friends, and they walk away with food for a couple of weeks, and hopefully having learned some new techniques or recipes.

A cooking class, like at the local Whole Foods. Or maybe a car repair class throught he county or local community college.

I always think offering knowledge and/or experience is the bestest gift ever.

[phouka]

If not a gym, how about a massage or mani/pedi at a spa?

Or a desk toy from Think Geek?

[lindsaybluth]

Originally Posted by Fat Chance

One, very much into music and I thought of something along that approach. Otherwise much of her life is consumed by her 5 year old daughter (single mom).

The other, big into excercising and adventure sports type things.

Do you have a rock climbing wall in your town? Get her a certificate for one session, rental and shoes and equipment. Or a kayak rental.

Get the other an Itunes giftcard, or tickets to a show you both want to see and offer to pay for babysitting that night.

ETA: Urgh, what Hello Again said.

[neuroman]

Giftcards suck--they're just money, but with rules.

For the mom, how about a cool board-game and a CD (gift receipt included in case you strike out). For the other, uhh..... bottle of wine?

[Fat Chance]

Originally Posted by lindsaybluth

Do you have a rock climbing wall in your town? Get her a certificate for one session, rental and shoes and equipment. Or a kayak rental.

Get the other an Itunes giftcard, or tickets to a show you both want to see and offer to pay for babysitting that night.

ETA: Urgh, what Hello Again said.

This is very close to the route I'm thinking of. The sporty one and I have been talking of trying a rock climbing gym, so I've started looking into it, and they have intro sessions for an afternoon for a reasonable amount.

The other, I'd like to find some kind of show/concert, etc to bring her to.

I've always been a big fan of the 'even't gift. Most of us have enough stuff and things already, but won't always go try something new and fun without being prompted.

As for all the comments that somewhat insultingly suggest I don't know these women very well - well, I don't. We've become friends in just a couple of months, so we are all still learning about each other, but as none of us have a significant other in our lives this year, and have all recently ended long term relationships, we've decided to give each other a good holiday.

[lindsaybluth]

Cool! Let us know what you decide and how they like it.

[Hello Again]

Originally Posted by Fat Chance

As for all the comments that somewhat insultingly suggest I don't know these women very well - well, I don't. We've become friends in just a couple of months, so we are all still learning about each other, but as none of us have a significant other in our lives this year, and have all recently ended long term relationships, we've decided to give each other a good holiday.

Well that's very sweet. Good for you (all y'all)!

If you want to have an experience, let me heartily recommend Spa Castle, a 5 story Korean waterspa (bathhouse sounds shady, and spa seems zen-like, and Spa Castle is neither of these) in Queens.

Top floor 1/2- Korean cafeteria restaurant - just the basics, a little expensive but not outrageous
Top floor: open air hot pools with a variety of massage jets that tap on; Japanese hot tub built of special wood; sauna; indoor swim up bar
Middlefloor 1/2 - lounge chairs with tvs, for napping
Middlefloor - saunas with various themes - gold lined sauna, salt lined sauna, colored light sauna, jade lined sauna, ice "sauna"; snack bar & bubble tea stand, expensive salad bar; heated floor & lounge chairs for napping; massage chairs; massage/facial spa area (additional charge)
Bottom floor - gender segregated locker rooms, plus a section of naked-required gender segregated indoor hot tubs, steam rooms, cold pools, and seated Korean-style scrub showers. Also, crazy insane buck-ass naked salt scrub station where you can get whole-body exfoliated within an inch of your life (additional charge of $50 for just the scrub, more for scrub + massage).

On a weekday the base charge is $35, stay as long as you want (open till midnight), bring your own bottled water & lunch -- they don't care. Bring a bathing suit & a towel for the top pool; they issue a uniform which you must wear in the co-ed areas. Warning: very busy on weekends with lots of kids.
New York Times Article
Yelp reviews give helpful walkthroughs of the experience - the haters are funny - OMG old ladies were naked near me OMG

I've been a couple of times -- a bit of WTF and a bit of a schlep but very awesome and fun.

[lindsaybluth]

If you decide to go with Hello Again's idea, I'd like to be your new female BFF. I'm under 30, nice on occasion and in need of some deep exfoliation.

[Fat Chance]

Originally Posted by lindsaybluth

If you decide to go with Hello Again's idea, I'd like to be your new female BFF. I'm under 30, nice on occasion and in need of some deep exfoliation.

Sure, I'm not gonna say no to more young ladies wanting to join the band!

Besides, you had me with the Arrested Development referenced user name already

[Bad News Baboon]

I'm a single mom (of a girl, age 6) and I am pretty much consumed by my girl, too.
I would like things that she and I can do together, such as a zoo membership or even a set of movie passes at one of those dine and watch places. Once I got a matching scarf set (mine and hers) and we thought it was great!