In this sanctimonous screed, columnist Liz Pulliam Weston smarily announces that gift crads and gift certificates are not gifts. According to her:
I don’t disagree that ideally, a gift says what she thinks it says. I do disagree with her thesis that gift certificates can never be that expression.
My wife is an avid knitter and crocheter. She loves buying yarn. I firmly believe that much of the thrill for her is in finding the yarn she likes, and she – like many knitters and crocheters – has a substantial stock of as-yet-unused yarn. Now, I could probably pick something out that would be appreciated. But it would be silly, and would deprive her of the chance to spend hours looking through our local yarn shops’ inventory. So I get her a gift cert from one of the local yarn places. She’s thrilled.
I would be just as happy with a gift certificate that let me select a new malt scotch than a bottle of Johnny Red “…because I remembered you like Scotch.” I appreciate the thought, but it’s not reasonable to expect every gift giver to become an expert on my little Scotch corner of the world, figure out what I already own, and get something new.
Sticking a couples of fifties in an envelope can be crass. (Although even then, I would argue there are times it’s the best gift; when we got married, the cash gifts were MUCH appreciated…) But a gift certificate for a particular shop, hobby, or use that fits the recipient’s needs is a perfectly fine gift.
Guess I’ll have to explain to my brother that when he specifically asked for gift cards last christmas that I didn’t really get him a gift when I complied with what he wanted.
The best gifts I have received were ones where the buyer showed that she knew me.
Having said that, there are people that I visit once or twice a year who like to get me a little something for XMas. They get me a Border’s gift card and I love it. It shows that they know me enough to know I love books - but they can’t begin to guess what I have or haven’t read this year.
I agree and also disagree with the ‘gift cards are not gifts’ idea.
Certain people want to buy me gifts for Christmas. Family (parents, brother, grandma etc) and boyfriend. No surprise there, I want to buy them gifts too. But grandma and aunt have no idea what kind of clothes I like, which is something I usually ask for because clothes are expensive for me to buy since I make minimum wage. So if grandma and aunt want to give me a gift I will enjoy and use, they run into a problem. Will she like these jeans? What size is she at this store? Does she like to wear the color red? And so on. So I get a Gap giftcard. I am very delighted, because now I can go to the Gap at my own leisure and spend an hour trying on jeans if necessary, and end up choosing something I will really like. So in this situation, gift card = awesome gift. And they just make me show them what I bought, and they are happy too because they helped me get a gift I really like.
But boyfriend knows me in a more intimate way. We have a much different sort of relationship that I do with grandma or aunt. It is expected that a gift he buys me need not be expensive at all, but be a token of love and show that he cares by putting in thought to choosing something. For our six month anniversary, he bought me a new book by an author he knows I like, and a DVD from one of my favorite shows. Less than $40, but an awesome gift because he showed me that he knows me. I put an equal amount of thought into his gift, and chose things that meant something. As much as I love Target, if he had given me a Target giftcard, coming from him I would feel, “Yep got that done now” and would have been hurt despite the fact a Target card would be nice to have.
So basically, for me at least, it all depends on the giver and their intention. If grandma and aunt insist on getting me gifts. making it easy for them is perfectly fine by me. Bricker’s yarn example is another one that makes sense - he knows his wife enjoys choosing out the yarn herself. Now maybe she can feel like she can splurge and pick something she will really like with the gift card. But with boyfriend, and still in the earlier relationship ‘romance’ phase, it is a bit different, at least for me and him. Otherwise, bring on the gift cards because I like shopping with other people’s money.
To me a gift isn’t giving people what they want, it’s giving them what you want them to have. That’s why it’s the thought that counts, because I got you this…whatever…because it’s what I want you to have from me. I’m the type of person who doesn’t take pictures, I keep keepsakes. The providance of things can be the differance between junk and treasures.
Sometimes a shopping spree is what I want you to have, so a gift card is a fine present.
I wouldn’t mind getting a gift card from an employer, or another situation as a gesture of appreciation.
I wouldn’t mind a gift card in a workplace exchange like a Secret Santa.
I wouldn’t mind getting a gift card for a store that I like from a friend. I would feel weird if it was really non-specific like Wal-Mart or something; why bother with a gift exchange if you don’t know each other?
But, I confess, I would feel disappointment if I got a gift card from an immediate family member in most circumstances. I mean, what’s the point of exchanging gifts if we’re basically just going to exchange money? Why don’t we all just keep our money and save the trouble?
That is, however, because of the context of what my family normally does for gift-giving. Part of the fun of the exchange is that we get together and slowly open presents together, savoring the experience of giving. Some gifts (usually small ones) are bought for a laugh or for entertainment on Christmas Day (like games or toys given to adults). If one of us decided to just get everyone gift cards to Starbucks, we’d lose out on that experience.
Then again, we also exchange Christmas lists, and most buying happens off the list. So, perhaps it’s hypocritical, but nonetheless gift cards would buck our family’s tradition.
Uggh. They’re worse than giving cash. Stick me in the “gift cards are the stupidest thing ever” camp. Why people would voluntarily make their money worth less is beyond my comprehension.
Gift cards are good if you know what someone likes without actually knowing much about that area yourself. So getting a specific item (like an excellent Scotch, or a nice shade of yarn) would be appreciated more by me, since they’ve taken the time to learn about something i’m interested in. But I know that my interests are not everyone elses, so I certainly wouldn’t hold gift cards against them. It’s not a case of gift cards = bad, item = good… more gift cards = good, item = better.
I think giftcards that are narrow in scope (Gap certificates for someone who asked for clothes, a giftcard to a wine source for an oenophile) are just fine and are most definitely gifts.
I also try to avoid giving just cash unless it’s a situation where it will definitely be appreciated. For instance, I was going to send cash to my nephew in IN when he got married and was just starting out (I’d also not met his wife). I thought about it and had my sister scope out some shops there and bought him a gift certificate to Bed Bath & Beyond (or the equivalent).
Sometimes a giftcard is better than a gift. A client of mine, whom I end up working for around the holidays every year (and throughout the year too) gave me a giftcard from Barnes & Nobles (a chain bookstore in the USA, in case anyone elsewhere might not know that); they know I love to read, they even know I love to read fiction but don’t know anything more specific than that.
One year they gave me a box of Godiva chocolates. Perhaps they didn’t remember that I always say I don’t really like chocolate when it’s offered to me (in this office, a lot). I’m not mad at them but I definitely appreciated the giftcard that allowed me to buy a book better than a box of chocolate, one of which I ate and the rest I left out on my desk.
I love getting gift certificates from Amazon.com; the amount isn’t all that important. Should I get a few hard backs or several paper backs? Used or new? Ooh, I haven’t had a subscription for Scientific American for a while, and that’ll last for a year. Man, this reference book is expensive, but I’ll use it forever.
You get the idea.
The gift tradition that I absolutely, positively detest, though, is the practice of giving each other your “Christmas list,” and buying from that. It’s a shopping list, folks, “Here, give me this.” Where’s the surprise? Surprise and anticipation: That’s what makes getting Christmas gifts special when you’re a kid. I’ve heard, “But what if I get them something they don’t want?” Tough titties, that’s part of the deal. It makes getting the Red Ryder BB gun that much more special.
I think in some circumstances gift cards are better than a gift. My grandmother is 96 years old. She emphatically does not need more “things” as she is actively trying to get rid of most of the “things” she has accumulated over 96 years, two marriages, 5 children, 5 step-children, 27 grandchildren, I have no idea how many greatgrandchildren, a few great great grandchildren…you get the picture. Her favorite gift is a grocery store gift certificate, because it allows her to stretch her small income a bit further.
One of my sisters-in-law gives me a “Bath and Body Works” gift card every Christmas. I am already looking forward to the shopping spree at the after Christmas sale. I would never spend the same amount of money there, because I can get similar products cheaper elsewhere. But half the fun is smelling all the good stuff and deciding what to get - different each year - and by shopping after Christmas I get twice the bang for the buck!
Some people put thought into the gift cards they select - that is a gift. But I would much rather have a Mal-Wart gift card than a “thing” which doesn’t fit my home or my life.
I don’t like the fact that with cards like Amazon.com, part of your gift is eaten up in shipping. If I’d give a gift card to anyone, I’d do it at a local store that they expressed interest in (i.e. Williams-Sonoma for the cooks etc.).
Generally speaking though, I think gift cards and cash are fine for people you think a little of. If you think a lot of someone, in fact, if you love someone, you should take the time to get an actual gift that THEY would like, so they don’t have to spend THEIR money and THEIR time to spend the gift YOU gave them.
I didn’t grow up with a lot of gifts. It’s not that we were super-poor or that my parents didn’t love me-it’s because they dropped every penny that would have gone into toys and disposable items into my and my sister’s college funds. I don’t have any other biological relatives in the US so I didn’t get much stuff growing up, especially after the birthday parties with school friends drew to a close.
Very few birthday gifts. A shared Christmas toy for the both of us. They never hesitated to pay for anything related to our education but I never got many “things” growing up and I was specifically asked not to buy them anything (though they would accept handmade cards).
To this day, we are not a gift family. I have never really learned to buy things for other people, wrap them up the way they like etc., and correspondingly I don’t tend to freak out over not getting stuff. Obviously, I’ve learned when to give people gifts but hunting around for the perfect gift for someone isn’t something I was taught or learned through emulation. It’s still pretty difficult for me to think up “what would the person really like” because with my closest relatives, the answer is “your time and attention”. Occasionally I make mix cds or bake/make nice food, or come up with something out of the blue…but unless someone has a registry, I tend to rely on gift cards and money. Now apparently I am a jerk??? I didn’t realise gift cards and cash materialised out of thin air-I was under the impression that I worked to make the money that I’m now giving away. :rolleyes:
