Amazon does have a free shipping option if you buy over $25 worth of stuff from them directly. Plus, I figure if I’m going to order something online anyway, I would have paid for shipping then too.
I agree with Bricker’s example - I knit, I’m an avid and prolific home cook, I homebrew, etc., but I’d probably pass out cold if anyone managed to get me something for those crafts that I’d use without my having to give very specific instructions before purchase. I’m not a beginner in my preferred interests and often have to go to more or less obscure websites to find what I’m looking for. I also enjoy the thought of a big shopping spree with money that isn’t “mine.”
Plus there are always counterexamples for every “never/always” gift advice from these columnists. A common piece of advice is to never buy a woman (especially your wife/girlfriend/fiancee) a gift that has a power cord on it. My favorite Christmas present from my husband last year was the KitchenAid stand mixer. He also buys me computer-related gear for Valentine’s Day/my birthday, over the strenuous and persistent objections of some of his coworkers. (I’d really like to slap a couple of them for giving him so much hassle - way to project your own issues onto our relationship, thanks.)
I guess the point here is knowing your gift “audience” and which are the type who’d love a well-chosen gift, or a well-chosen gift card.
I’m also one of those who doesn’t think the giving of gift cards is a sign of the end of civilization. I even ask for gift cards myself. Liz Pulliam Weston sounds like someone who, when she isn’t writing, is vigilently watching her front lawn to make sure some impudent young whippersnapper doesn’t violate it by stepping on a blade of grass.
So basically a “true” gift has to be one the gifter picks blindly and without any imput from the proposed giftee? That view might make sense when the person whom you’re giving a gift to is below the age of 12 but is uncompromisingly rigid when the person is an adult (especially one that’s hard to shop for). All too often it leads to gifts that end up taking up space in the closet or are “regifted” to some unsuspecting giftee.
What? I know there are a few exceptions, but the overwhelming majority of places sell gift cards at their face value - if you pay $45 for a gift card, then the card can be used for $45.
Personally, I love both giving and getting them. I’m also a horrid person who really dislikes both giving and getting any gifts, so make of that what you will.
But the same is true for all gifts. They’re economically inefficient, since you alone know all your priorities and can make purchases whose “psychic profit” is greatest.
Yeah, I don’t like gifts much. Getting or giving. It’s stressful, and there are always feelings involved, for one. For another, it’s a terrible economy: I spend my money buying you a present, and you spend your money buying me a present…and we may not even like what we get. B ut then we have to pretend that we do. I see Christmas time as: “Hey…it’s that time of the year when you give up several hundred of your hard earned dollars, and you’ll get back a bunch of random stuff that you’d never buy yourself and that will take up space in your tiny apartment.”
Ugh. If only we could just go spend time with family, enjoy each others’ company, maybe eat some really great meals, and have a blast. WITHOUT this expensive, stressful, touchy tradition.
Yep, I said that a gift isn’t worth anything unless you close your eyes and blindly point to something in the catalog, without any regard whatsoever to the giftee. Screw 'em.
What I said is that I hate “Christmas lists.” Perhaps I was too tongue-in-cheek, but to me, they’re the antithesis of gift giving, particularly at Christmas. Why bother with the list? Just buy the crap for yourself and don’t bother with the wrapping. I mean, money-wise, it’s all a wash, right? I’ve talked with plenty of intelligent people who honestly don’t understand what my hang up is, and I’m willing to accept that it may just be a personal quirk. Maybe it’s just a nostalgia for some Rockwellian experience that only exists in my memory, but there’s just something about handing someone a list and saying “Buy me this” that takes something out of Christmas, particularly for children (which is why I said, “when you’re a kid”).
Same here. One Christmas when I was particularly strapped for time, and somewhat for cash, I gave everyone Borders gift cards. I mean…they have books, music, AND DVDs…something for everyone (I hope)!
As an aside, I try my best to eventually let people know what I purchased with their gift cards. That might help them pick something in the future if they don’t want to give me a gift card, or at least let them know it was appreciated.
What you said. My inlaws are especially bad this way - with 5 husband’s siblings and my mother-in-law/father-in-law to buy for, and buying for us, it gets insane. They tried to rein it in by having a name drawing, with “little” presents bought for the others, but it’s turned into not-so-little presents for everyone and big presents for the one you’ve picked. I go home with a ton of stuff I won’t use, like makeup that doesn’t match my skin tone (donation time), winter accessories that don’t match my coats and I already have (donation), lots of chocolate and fatty, calorie-laden treats, and so on. I wish they’d concentrate on one little heartfelt item than tons of stuff we don’t have room for in our little flat.
I’m at the point where I’m nearly angry about the tons of chocolate, cookies, and so on. My husband’s family members know damned well that he’s fought his weight all his life. We’ve been trying so hard to keep temptations out of the house, and Christmas is going to kill that. Try to tell any of them that goodies won’t be appreciated, and if you’re lucky you’ll just get a dismissal of that sentiment, with the “this one thing won’t hurt” - except everyone else does that too. If you’re unlucky, it becomes blown up into an apparent indictment of their character, motives, and generosity. (Not that I haven’t considered this as possible fact, mind you.)
Gift cards are the worst possible gift, next to no gift at all. It saddles the giftee with the chore of shopping for the gift, and forces him to shop at a particular store. It’s the gift that says “I can’t be bothered to shop for a gift for you, so here, you do it”.
I"ll chime in with the crowd to say that gift cards are in some cases the most appropriate thing to give. I’m into anime, books and videos games–all areas where there’s a lot to chose from and where most people would have no idea what to get me unless I specifically told them beforehand. I can go through several (dozen) items in each category in any given year, so the list of what I want and don’t have changes constantly. Gift cards to a store that sells one of these things is a good choice for me. Plus, I enjoy shopping in general.
On the other hand, gift cards to a department store, to me, basically say “I have no idea what you want whatsoever”. I’m still a little miffed at one aunt who gave me Wal-Mart cards for a while, as I try to avoid shopping there except as a last resort. At least when she got me one to Old Navy (another store I never go to) it showed she was trying, and I was able to get a nice shirt out of it.
I hate giving them (except the one year I did muliples - 3 or 4 to various restaurants, one to the local theater, gas card, etd- for my 21 year old son). mostly not that thrilled about getting them, but would never describe them as ‘non-gifts’
Pretty much what she said (although I’ve got a slightly broader list of geekages).
Very few of the people who would buy me gifts know enough about my fields of interest to know what I would appreciate/don’t have/am desperately lusting over. So it’s either give a list, get gift cards/cash, get clothes*, or have an 80% chance of getting something I have or don’t want, because ‘you like this stuff, right?’
And I love going into a store and finding something I didn’t even know existed and have no guilt at all on dropping the money for it. (sigh I still regret not buying Max Jenius’ Valkyrie when I had the cash…)
Most of my relatives are pretty good at getting clothes for me, but that’s because I’m male and…stoutly built (so there’s not a whole lot of variance in styles available), not particularly discriminating, sartorially (so there’s little I wouldn’t wear so long as it fit), and my relatives have relatively good taste (so there’s little chance they’d pick out the few things I wouldn’t wear), so, really, there’s little thought that goes into that, either.
As a mom, I do a lot of shopping for stuff for my kids, stuff for the house, etc. Shopping for stuff for me (not the necessities like food or shampoo, but the “fun” stuff like the expensive body wash I like) often gets put at the end of the list so often it never gets done.
To me, a gift card to Bath and Body Works sends the message: “Here; go shopping, but only for stuff for you, and only for stuff you like!” Sure, they could go to B&BW and get me stuff. They even know what my favorite fragrances are. But if I get the gift card, I get the whole shopping experience, which I love! I often use it as a handy excuse to have a whole afternoon at the mall, complete with a soft pretzel from Auntie Anne’s and window shopping other places.
I come home feeling great, and knowing I’m going to smell good for the next few months!
Liz Pulliam Weston can bite my Velvet Tuberose scented ass!
I’m not a huge fan of gift cards, pretty much for the reason outlined in the OP’s article. As a general rule, if I’m not sure what to get someone, then a bottle of wine or spirits at least says “I put some thought into this”.Personally, though, I think Gift Cards are fine as a gift from the Company or as part of Secret Santa exchanges where you don’t expect the personal touch, however.
The other thing to bear in mind is that most gift cards can’t be recharged, and the companies know that you’re always going to have small amounts left over that you can’t buy anything with. All those .12c card balances that get thrown away add up to Free Money for the Gift Card issuer- which is another reason not to encourage them, IMHO.
I’m tough to shop for, and very few things that aren’t practical that I mention I need are going to be good gifts for me at this point in my life. It’s a lot easier to get me a gift card, if only for the fact that you can’t buy me clothes off the rack (I have to try everything on to make sure it at least marginally fits) and I’ve got eclectic but random tastes and interests that are difficult to pinpoint for most people. Oh, and I also detest most scented items, some of which literally make me ill. Even though it’s a bit of a chore to find just the right thing for myself, it’s like pulling teeth for someone else to do it for me.
I really am tough to shop for, and it’s just best if I end up getting something useful that I can pick out myself with a gift card. Unless you know me really well and pay a lot of attention to what I’m interested in (while making notes on what I’ve already read/listened to, etc.), you’re going to have a 90% chance of getting it completely wrong. Then again, getting me gift cards can be tricky as well; if you want me to get something frivolous, it’s going to be really tough for me to pick out something that’s not at least marginally practical. Meh. I don’t need gifts.
I ask my relatives what they’re interested in to make sure they get something they like or need, and I tend to get “fun” gifts for my friends. (Last year, I got “Everyone Poops” for a friend-- he loved it, even though it wasn’t really all that practical.) Then again, most of my friends and relatives are not that difficult for me to shop for.
I can’t imagine that I’m the only person out there who’ll make an effort to bring the balance down to zero on those gift cards, even if it means shelling out a few of my own dollars to do so. Then again, I tend to budget pretty tightly when I get the gift cards to make sure I can get the best value out of them.
I don’t mind gift cards at all. I’ve given and received them. I’ve gotten them for Ross (new clothes!), Michael’s (yarn yarn yarn knitting needles YARN!) and Burlington Coat Factory (new clothes again!). To me, gift cards for a specific store are a sign the giver knows you…my MIL would never give me a gift card for Best Buy, but she knows me, so I get Michael’s.
Plus, when you give them, you’re sure the giftee will get exactly what they want, and not have to smile thinly and give a half-hearted, “Wow, it’s wonderful.”
Frankly, it says exactly the opposite, to me. It says the same thing that candy does - ‘I couldn’t even be bothered to put half a moment’s thought into what you might like, so I defaulted to something that generally goes over well’.