Am I Satan, or just a garden variey psychopath?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I met a woman online a few weeks ago. We hit it off instantly, and have been in contact every day since. It’s really been amazing, and I’m very happy.

We haven’t been on a date yet, mostly because we live so far away from each other. We decided to meet next weekend, halfway in between us. (That’s still like 6 hours on a bus for me.) She picked out several charming-looking B&Bs, and I chose one and made a reservation. King size bed, double hot tub, and a fireplace. I think it’s going to be an amazing weekend.

It’s a several hour drive for her, and her POS car was not in great working order. Her brother the mechanic fixed it up for free. She explained to him (in not much detail, I think) why she needed it in great shape.

Big mistake. He told their mother, who told their father. Now the entire family is “deeply concerned.” As we all know, people from Teh Intarwebs is EVIL. And I’m not from their home town, I’m from The Big City, which, as we all know, triples the Evil factor. They really think I’m going to do evil things to her. (Hmm, is spanking evil?)

She just knows she’s going to get sat down for a lecture, or intervention, or possibly an exorcism by her father, mother, and possibly minister. I told her to promise them that all I’m going to bring, besides sex toys, is one Harry Potter DVD, a few Pokemon cards, and a quart of goat’s blood. I don’t think that’s going to reassure them, though. After all, it might lead to dancing.

I feel really bad for her. I wanted to make it an excellent experience for her.

I still find it somehow amusing, though.

2

Anybody who is a charter member of the 'Dope is certainly a psychopath.

3

While I’m really happy for you and I don’t think you’re likely a raving psycopath there is no way in hell I would advise anyone to have their first in person meeting at a charming B&B for the weekend.

Please note that dmatsch posted while I was posting and the wording of my post is in no way a comment on his :wink:

4

You’re going to hook up with a women you’ve never even met, only known via the internet, and that for only a few weeks, for a sexual encounter?

This whole story about her Bro and Dad, is just a cover, I assure you. She clearly intends to rob you of all your money, dignity, and possibly, your organs.

Myself, I think 6 hrs, on a bus, is just too far to go, to be robbed, humiliated and harvested.

But, hey, I’m sure it will all work out.

5

Not if she provides the tub of ice.

6

Is this girl like, 14? I’m not seeing how this is any of the business of an adult woman’s family.

7

Isn’t it the gentleman’s responsibility to provide the tub of ice?

8

He’s already blown his urbane & sophisticated romance budget for the month on a $19 Greyhound ticket…

9

I have a 13 year old daughter. Even in 8 years when she is a card-carrying adult I would be deeply concerned about her meeting someone for the first time at a B&B, for an overnight booty call. I think I would try to talk just about any adult out of doing this to be honest.

But good luck to ya’ tdn.

10

Yeah. Dude, that’s not normal at all.

11

I think this is foolish of her to do. Not because of you, tdn, but because it’s foolish to travel 6 hours to sleep with someone who you’ve only known for 2 weeks over the internet. Men don’t have to worry as much, but this behavior is very, very risky for a woman to do. The person she meets could do anything to her and her closest friends are hours away. Even though you know you are safe, you should not encourage her to meet men like this. If it goes well with you, she may think it’s okay to meet other men like this and eventually something bad will happen.

The right thing for you to do is to go to her city. Either meet her family or have her meet you at a public place with a couple of her friends. Tell her you want her to feel safe. She will appreciate it and expect that type of behavior from men in the future.

12

I think the Pokemon cards would skeeve me most of all if I were meeting a guy for the first time…

13

That’s what I was thinking.

Still, **Leaffan *is right. While I wouldn’t tell a grown ass woman what to do, I would raise an eyebrow if one of my sisters, who are well into adulthood at 31 and 38, told me they needed to fix their car so they could drive 6 hours to meet some guy from OK Cupid to stay at some hotel with him. I’d be like, “Whatever happened to lunch? Is there no one in town? What’s all this?” I’d be a little concerned about them meeting some guy for the first time, for an overnight stay, far away from home. I thought the general internet dating rule was to meet for the first time at a cafe or something.
*A technical disagreement that does not affect the overall point: While an 18 year old may be a “card-carrying” legal adult, I would not characterize one as a grown ass woman. If I had an 18 year old kid, I would still be all up in her shit, the way my parents were all up in mine when I was 18.

14

Yeah seriously. Aren’t people supposed to rush into marriage before sex?

15

Way back in 1999, I met a really nice guy on an early dating site. After a few weeks of emailing and phone conversations, we decided to meet in person. He only lived an hour away. I drove out there to meet him. We had lunch in a public place and then I went home with him…to meet his family. He was 26 and still lived with his parents and his pregnant sister. He said he was saving up to buy a house.

Well, I didn’t go home that night. Instead of calling my cell phone, my roommate called the police. I don’t know how the hell she convinced them that I was a missing person, since I was 19 and hadn’t been missing for 24 hours. Actually, I wasn’t missing at all. I told her exactly where I would be and that is exactly where I was. She also called my sister, who called my 2 best friends. Not one of them called my cell phone.
When I returned home the next morning, my roommate told me to call the police and let them know I was still alive. No one wanted to believe that we had been talking until 4am and I was really tired so I slept there. No one wanted to believe that his parents and pregnant sister were in the next room.

Well, that was 12 years ago and my sister and best friend still make fun of me about the time I was reported missing after I went to meet the axe-murdering psychopath - the one I’m still with.
By the way, he really was saving to buy a house. He gets on well with his family and his parents didn’t mind him staying until he could afford to buy a house.

For some reason, I thought people would be more open-minded about online dating in all the years since then. Apparently not. Oh well, at least a B&B is a public place. I hope that you do go and have a great time and come home with all your internal organs. :smiley:

16

:stuck_out_tongue:

There is a distinct difference between dating someone or even just hooking up with someone that you’ve met in person and meeting some guy off of the internet after 2 weeks at a B&B. I’m all about NSA sex and all, but um, we women have to be somewhat protective of our. . . you know, skin. Don’t want some crazy dude turning us into a lamp at a B&B.

Um, a B&B is not a public place- they are meeting in a hotel room. With one bed. And a jacuzzi. That’s a lot different then meeting someone for lunch, talking for a while, and going back to their family’s house.

If it was truly innocent, he’d have booked a room with two beds. Or her a room for herself. Clearly, sex is a given here.

17

I don’t see how hooking up with someone you met online is any different than hooking up with someone you just met at school, or the bar, or even the library. People have sex on their first date all the time, why does it matter where they met before they do it?

18

I’ve had sex with plenty of people on first dates because I’m a classy lady like that. BUT, I’ve actually met them in person before- I don’t just hook up with strangers in hotel rooms. I guess in the grand scheme of things, maybe it doesn’t really mitigate potential harm all that much, but there’s something to be said for actually meeting and speaking to someone, looking in their eye, etc. before getting naked with them.

I guess my point is that actually going on a date THEN deciding to fuck someone is one thing. Deciding to fuck someone before even going on a date is a bit odd. Scheduling a romantic get away with someone before even going on a date is a bit odd too.

19

Regardless of how harmless you might think you are, it is still not a smart decision for a woman of any age to go alone, six hours out of town, to meet some stranger from the internet at a hotel. Her parents’ concern was completely legitimate, and your mocking of those concerns disingenuous. Surely you don’t think should all be reassured because the stranger from the internet says he’s harmless.

If you’re going to meet her, meet he in a public place, where she can easily leave, and invite her to bring a chaperone. Invite her to bring her parents. Buy them dinner. That’s how you build trust. You’re not entitled to it just on your own word.

20

They haven’t met. They are *going *to meet at a hotel 6 hours from home. What if they don’t even like each other when they meet? It happens a lot.