I pit the homeless men who defecate near my apartment

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m not an uberconservative, to-hell-with-the-homeless guy. I know full well that there are a range of factors that drive people to homelessness, often outside of their control - drug addiction, mental illness, an economy that seems to be on a dedicated search-and-destroy mission against the middle class.

But for the love of Ford, this is absurd. In order to get to my morning commute bus stop, I need to take a relatively secluded footpath. This place is, apparently, the perfect place for my neighborhood’s homeless people to relieve themselves. And yes, I’m pretty sure that we’re talking about human waste here. I haven’t scrutinized closely, but the … deposits … are rather too large to be attributed to any but the very largest dogs.

I really, really wish these guys wouldn’t make me walk past their waste on my way to work. It’s a wretched start to the morning. And the thing is, for all that their lives are undeniably wretched, these men do have choices. Heck, I’ve actually spoken to several of the homeless guys in my neighborhood (and we don’t have a huge number of them). When it’s cold out, I often offer to call the hypothermial hotline for a shelter transport. Shelters, by the way, have bathrooms.

I’ve never had anyone take me up on it. The reasons given are rarely unreasonable - the shelters smell, or people fear getting their things stolen, and so on. Fair enough. But while going to the shelter might not be a perfect solution, I have to believe that it’s preferable to relieving yourself in public.

I know that homeless men might seem like unfair Pitting targets. But the Pit is the place where we talk about, amongst other things, people whose choices make our lives less pleasant. These guys could make a different, and far more sanitary, choice if they wished. They don’t, so they get pitted.

2

I think the appropriate thing to do is place a sign on your door welcoming the homeless to use your facilities. You’d need some verbiage limiting the allowable size of dumps to one bowl full and no more than one person at a time and, of course, no sleeping, etc.

3

What, the choices are “let people shit in public or give them your bathroom”?

4

Maybe you could put out some plastic sacks, and a little sign saying “Please Curb Yourself.”

5

Yeah, but then some people are going to accuse you of trying to make others go all American History X on the homeless, and that’s a can of worms no one wants to open.

6

Well, and aren’t there public bathrooms out there? I guess it depends on location and time of day, but I’m 97% certain I’ve seen homeless people use bathrooms at my university; there are plenty there to choose from. Libraries, too; Wal-Marts and other retail stores with public-facing bathrooms; bus depots; even hospitals, I’d guess.

I certainly don’t want to disparage the homeless for making difficult, necessary choices. But I’d be … disturbed to find human excrement on my path to the bus stop, too.

7

Yup. And there is a public library in my neighborhood.

8

The path of life is full of strewn with turds. What do you suggest?

(Edit - and public libraries aren’t open at 6am when nature calls I suppose)

9

Well, one option would be to hold it. Another would be to find some other public restroom. Yet another would be to relieve youself in someplace that isn’t immediately adjacent to a very narrow footpath.

And of course, the shelters do remain an option as well.

Homeless people don’t have a lot of good choices in many areas of their lives, but these particular folks could be making better choices here.

10

AKA the flying toiletapproach. It works elsewhere.

11

What a disappointment. I was expected a toilet with an engine and wings.

12

Are you in an apartment? You could talk to your building manager about it. You might also talk to the city health department. It’s not just gross, it’s a real health hazard. Whoever handles the landscaping there shouldn’t have to face that. If they, whoever is in charge of that walkway, need to put in motion-sensor lights or take out the bushes, then so be it.

13

When you say “secluded footpath” do you mean “alleyway”?

14

This (possibly NSFW) might be a more realistic goal.

15

The health department might be a possibility - thanks for that suggestion. The footpath isn’t on my building’s property, though, so the manager probably can’t help.

Haha - not really, no. I mean footpath - a paved surface, roughly half again the width of the average sidewalk, with a Jersey barrier on one side (this is next to the interstate) and some private yards on the other.

16

I’m not sure you can just call for a van to pick up homeless people for their potty break. I’ve never heard of shelters that have vans for this purpose. Also, I don’t think it’s possible to just pop into a shelter to use the bathroom. When I lived on the street, the shelters were only open for a certain number of hours per day, and to get into one you had to stand in line for hours hoping you could get a space to sleep. Once the shelter was filled they locked the doors.

17

I’d be less concerned about excrement and more that I might encounter a band of highwaymen, or perhaps a red-cloaked tween with a picnic basket.

18

“There are footpads on my footpath!”

19

No, you can’t just call for get into a bathroom - at least, not in DC. But it’s rare for our shelters to be filled to capacity - my point was that one option would be for these men to make more of an effort to get into the shelters, which have toilets (and heat, and water, and food) and stay there until they get meds/jobs/sober and so on.

20

What the hell is a Jersey barrier?