Biggest Oscar Snub Ever: "Machete"

Cafe Society
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I saw “Machete” a few nights ago. I’ve taken some time to write this because I felt like I needed at least a few days to absorb, and full reflect upon, such staggering cinematic genius.

“Machete” is without a doubt the greatest expression of art in the history of the human species. Watching it takes the viewer beyond the bounds of cinema and into a transcendent state of awesome understanding of awesomeness. Throw away all your books and other movies; once you get “Machete” it is all the art you will ever need. Watching this film is like seeing the world through the eyes of God.

I won’t spoil the brilliantly conceived and executed story in full, but the movie concerns a man named Machete - played by Danny Trejo, whose real name is Machete - who enjoys killing people using a machete. He also has sex with beautiful women. I don’t really need to explain anything else.

That this movie was snubbed by the Academy is an absolute travesty. They clearly couldn’t handle the fact that the makers of Machete have so devastatingly trumped such mediocre bullshit as “The Social Network,” a movie with a bunch of geeks who don’t use machetes, and “The King’s Speech,” a movie about British fops who also do not have any machetes.

Were I choosing the Oscar winners this year, I’d go with:

Best Picture - “Machete,” Robert Rodriguez, Elizabeth Avilan, and Rick Schwartz
Best Director - Robert Rodriguez and Ethan Maniquis, “Machete”
Best Actor - Danny Trejo, “Machete”
Best Actress - Jessica Alba, “Machete”
Best Supporting Actor - Jeff Fahey, “Machete”
Best Supporting Actress - Michelle Rodriguez, “Machete”
Best Editing - “Machete”
Best Cinematography - “Machete”
Best Original Score - Chingon, “Machete”
Best Original Song - Something from “Machete”
Everything Else, Including Categories For Other Types of Films: “Machete”

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Looks like someone has a machete to grind.

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:smiley:
If you read my posts in the Machete thread, you’ll know I support the OP. What we need is a *Machete *forum, so that we can be free to discuss *Machete *philosophy, recipes, fashion, etc, without hijacking the entire Cafe Society forum. But since there isn’t one yet, I’ll just mention here that I’m eagerly awaiting delivery on my blood-red WWMD (What Would *Machete *Do?) wrist-band.

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You left out the cameo by that great thespian Lindsay Lohan.

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The academy’s hatred of machete movies is no new thing. None of these movies was nominated for anything at all:

Machete (2006)

Machete (1958)

Machete: Istatwang buhay (1990)

Machete Maidens Unleashed! (2010)

Der Rebell mit der Machete (1979)

La primera carga al machete (1969) aka The First Charge of the Machete

El maléfico Dr. Machete (2005)

Machete II (1994)

Machete Joe (2010)

Machete Massacre (2008)

None of these other performances as a character called Machete were nominated

Machete (Estudio 2 (2005), Arturo Gil)

Machete (Machete: Istatwang buhay (1990), Cesar Montano)

Machete (Hell Ride (2008), Francesco Quinn)

Blades aka Machete Zombie (*Dawn of the Dead *(1978), Tom Savini)

Technicians such as these were ostracised:

Control Machete (Soundtrack, Amores perros (2000))

Carlito Rodriguez nickname Carlito Machete (Producer, Station Zero (1999))

And fine actors have been black banned:

Kem Machete (Actor, HipHopBattle.com: Hip Hop 4 Life (2001))

Ck Machete (Actor, In Company with Misfits (2010))

When will it end? Probably when the US elects its first machete wielding president.

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I believe Colin Firth does use a rather sharp letter-opener at one point. He doesn’t stab anyone with it, though.

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He would be more likely to stab himself with a dull one, anyways.

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MASH got a Picture nomination. So did ET. But Mash-ET? Nothing!!!

Though I would’ve picked Lindsey Lohan over Michelle Rodriguez for Actress with excellent Support.

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I felt this way about Rochelle Rochelle - A young girl’s strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk

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I fully approve of and support the OP. Machete was clearly the best movie of last year, and deserves to take it’s place in the pantheon of great films, alongside such classics as The Groove Tube and The Toxic Avenger.

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I agree with everything the OP said except the part about Jeff Fahey. The person who should win the best supporting actor Oscar is Richard Marin for his role of Padre. His performance of a conflicted man who is torn between the bonds of family and his calling to God (plus the problem of what to do with two naked woman in a drug-induced coma) is one for the ages.

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Machete lacked Chuck Norris. Stephen Segal is a poor substitute.

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Noooo. Segal’s death scene was perfect.

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You mean the NAKED cameo by that great thespian, Lindsay Lohan.

In short, I agree with the OP wholeheartedly. This movie is flawless. I went out and bought my first Blu-Ray player so I could own this movie on Blu-Ray, and it became the first (and to this day, the only) Blu-Ray movie I own.

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This? This ain’t shit. [performs seppuku]

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The Oscars have a history of ignoring revolutionary films. I’m assuming it’s because they’re frightened.

First Bio-Dome, now Machete.

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Nope, you’re mistaken. The biggest Oscar snub ever is “Commando” failing to secure any nods.

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While I wholly agree Mr. Marin was deserving of a nomination, I stick by my choice of Mr. Fahey for the win. The role of Padre was a terrific one, but limited; Fahey really brought the movie together. It was a subtle and brilliant performance from an actor long overdue for an Oscar.

It’s a shame they can’t both win, but in a film this brilliant, someone’s going to be left behind. After all, I’d nominate Robert De Niro, too, but he was clearly the third best supporting player (among the men) in the movie.

I just can’t say enough about Michelle Rodriguez’s work, either. As “She,” Rodriguez, playing against type in a daring role as a tough Latina chick, perfectly embodies toughness and Latinaness. I’ve never seen anything as tough and Latinaesque since that Irish woman in “Aliens.”

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But she also delivered the one flaw in Machete’s otherwise brilliant screenplay. She refers to herself as both “She” and “not She, She’s just a symbol” throughout the movie.

Which clearly pushes the award to Lohan, especially for the subtle way she convinced her mother to perform a girl-on-girl scene in an amateur porn with her own daughter without letting her father know what was up. Truly the pinnacle of acting.

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So I guess we shouldn’t hold our breath for Machete Kills or Machete Kills Again nominations, either.