Poll:Women with erect nipples visible under clothes: sexy/embarrassing/unprofessional/ no big deal?

[Maastricht]

In the recent bra thread, many female Dopers said that "headlights" (erect nipples visible under clothes) were a problem for them, and that they would want their bra to have some padding to hide those.

On the other hand, mannequins and dolls in shop windows often do have visible nipples.

I've heard men say they think those erect nipples are sexy, because they assume a woman with erect nipples has about the same feelings as a guy with an erect penis.
If that is true, having visible erect nipples (as I do, most of the time) in the workplace would be awkward and unprofessional and I would need to adapt my clothes.

On the other hand, I went to get fitted for a new bra with an old lady who had been in the bra fittin business for thirty years. When I asked her about a bra for me that would hide erect nipples she said "No, that's just something you are born with or not".

So, how do Dopers vote?

[NinetyWt]

I'm a little frustrated with the poll choices. I wouldn't say they are "slutty or unkempt" but having visible nipples is NOT something I want in a professional setting. It isn't a matter of them not being sexy or natural; it's that I don't want to draw people's attention to my breasts. In a professional setting I want to draw attention to my competence.

Definitely embarrassing.

I personally have a heck of a time with this, as my nipples stick out like corks. I have to get bras with padding so that I don't go around with visible nipples. It's very annoying.

[ladyfoxfyre]

I don't think slutty or unprofessional is the right way to describe it, it's not something you can really help unless you're running around without a bra on. It's more embarrassing than anything, but I wouldn't use the occurrence to change my impression of a woman's professionalism.

[AClockworkMelon]

I'm another person who didn't like the poll choices. I'm turned on by nipples visible through clothing but I don't think that saying it turns me on should be synonymous with saying it's OK in a professional setting. You might as well have had an option about hot pants - "Short shorts - I vote vote beautiful or sexy and OK in a professional setting".

[Lamia]

I also don't feel the poll options reflect my opinion. Visible nipples are something I'd say should be avoided if possible in a professional setting, but I realize that this isn't always easy and an outfit that revealed nothing in one situation might allow a woman's nipples to show under different lighting conditions or in a colder room. But if a friend were asking my opinion of a top she wanted to wear to a job interview or professional presentation and I noticed that her nipples were showing through, I'd advise her not to wear it unless she had a thicker bra or could wear a blazer over it or something.

If I noticed a woman's nipples showing through her clothes in a professional setting then I'd assume that she didn't realize what was happening and be a bit embarrassed for her, but I wouldn't think any less of her morals or professionalism. Not unless she actually said she deliberately wore flimsy tops to distract men at work.

[Chefguy]

They're certainly noticeable, but no big deal. I find it to be somewhat distracting, but not sexy in that context.

[Glory]

Originally Posted by NinetyWt

I'm a little frustrated with the poll choices. I wouldn't say they are "slutty or unkempt" but having visible nipples is NOT something I want in a professional setting.

Exactly.

[Sattua]

Woman here. I think they're as bad as a cameltoe. Seriously, you need to dress to hide them, with the possible exceptions of being at a nightclub or being a very thin woman who can wear an evening gown without any support garments.

[Manda JO]

I think patterns matter. If someone I work with had visible nipples one day, I wouldn't think anything about it. If they had visible nipples every day, I'd assume it was deliberate and would seem unprofessional.

[kevlaw]

Didn't like the choices either. I wanted to vote for "would catch my eye, but i wouldn't think any differently of the owner"

[Sunspace]

Originally Posted by kevlaw

Didn't like the choices either. I wanted to vote for "would catch my eye, but i wouldn't think any differently of the owner"

Same with me. It's sexy and can be distracting for the observer, but doesn't reflect on the owner. If I'm distracted, that's my problem, not yours.

[Attack from the 3rd dimension]

Originally Posted by AClockworkMelon

I'm another person who didn't like the poll choices. I'm turned on by nipples visible through clothing but I don't think that saying it turns me on should be synonymous with saying it's OK in a professional setting. You might as well have had an option about hot pants - "Short shorts - I vote vote beautiful or sexy and OK in a professional setting".

"Corset- I vote vote beautiful or sexy and OK in a professional setting".

"Latex Cat Suit- I vote vote beautiful or sexy and OK in a professional setting".

"Furry costume - I vote vote beautiful or sexy and OK in a professional setting".

"Sailor Moon Cosplay outfit - I vote vote beautiful or sexy and OK in a professional setting".

[DianaG]

The poll options are indeed silly, except for "no big deal", which is what I voted for. I mean visible nipples definitely aren't what I'm going for at work, but if it happens, whatever. I have nipples. What, you don't?

[DiosaBellissima]

Yeah, the poll options don't really work for me. They are no big deal to even sexy in casual environments, but an absolute no go at work.

[Onomatopoeia]

Male here. Many years ago, I worked in an office where my supervisor, a man, was replaced with a woman with a better resume. This woman, who was approximately 10 years older than me, had the attributes of which you speak. It was very distracting to me. I found myself anticipating her presence every morning, and sneaking peaks, like a hormonally uncontrollable 14 year-old, whenever I could. She didn't know it at the time, but she was driving me bloody insane. Whenever I had to interact with her, I became sexually aroused and uncomfortable at the same time, sometimes resulting in a partial erection, which made me extremely self conscious.

This went on for approximately 2 weeks, when I realized I was making excuses to be around her. Without thinking too deeply (I wasn't thinking at all, to be honest), I finagled a way to have lunch with her under some pretense for work. I still don't believe I pulled it off; believe me, I wasn't all that smooth in those days. Anway, during our lunch, I absolutely could not stop glancing at her chest. I couldn't tell you what the heck we talked about, but I do remember feeling like my heart was going to jump out of my chest and my temples throbbing.

After our lunch, I wasn't productive at all and, I'm certain, got very little work done for the rest of the day. At the close of business, I waited at my desk until I saw she was preparing to leave for the day. I packed up and strode out behind her. My mind was racing, and I acted, I believe, on pure instinct at that moment, and while tapping on her shoulder and asking if she had a second, I pressed the Up button on the elevator instead of Down. We both entered the elevator and as soon as the doors closed, I turned and faced her. Next thing I knew, we were down each other's throats.

Our relationship ultimately ended, primarily because, in my admittedly one-sided opinion, she was a very unpleasant person. And I guess the fact that she was married, with two children, could possibly have had something, in some small, barely significant measure, to do with it . No, I had no idea she was married...at first. Anyhoo, it lasted as long as it did, and somewhat into the period after which I found out she was married and a mother, solely because of her physical attributes and the sex, which was the best I'd ever had.

For those needing to respond that (a) she manipulated me and I was too young, stupid, sex-crazed, or a combination to realize it, or (b) it was wrong of me to have continued to 'date' her after finding out about her family, don't bother. I've thought and agonized over it many times, and it's enough.

My point here is to provide a little personal perspective to the OP that I found the erect nipples of my supervisor not only sexy but overwhelmingly sexually arousing. However, I also believe such displays are inappropriate in an office environment and cannot believe there aren't apparel solutions.

[rhubarbarin]

I voted no big deal. I notice poky nipples on both women and men, but don't have strong opinions about them.

I'm not really involved with much that could be considered a 'professional' setting, though.

My nips just don't quit, and often still show moderately through 'molded' bras (with a thin layer of foam/stiff lining). I used to only wear cloth bras with no padding and they showed all the time then - they don't stick out far, but they're visible. I don't care enough to wear bras with 3/4" of foam just to make sure they aren't ever visible, and I don't notice my boobs getting attention even with poky nips - they are tiny after all, and don't bounce or anything.

Within reasonable limits (there is such a thing as dressing inappropriately for the workplace), I tend to think being distracted by or attracted to a good-looking person or appealing parts of their anatomy is your issue, not theirs.

I also think it's ridiculous for women to have to wear thickly padded bras all the time (or use adhesive nipple 'shields') just so no one can ever see that they have nipples.

[Eyebrows 0f Doom]

Why did you put "embarrassing" in the title but then not have that as a poll choice? They're not slutty, or unprofessional, or sexy or no big deal. They're simply embarrassing, like, I don't know, accidentally leaving your fly undone or having a piece of food caught in your teeth. Something that doesn't really matter but that you don't want to happen.

[Really Not All That Bright]

Originally Posted by NinetyWt

I'm a little frustrated with the poll choices. I wouldn't say they are "slutty or unkempt" but having visible nipples is NOT something I want in a professional setting.

This, although I'm a guy. I think it's hot, but I'd definitely raise an eyebrow if I saw it in the office.

[ladyfoxfyre]

Originally Posted by Really Not All That Bright

This, although I'm a guy. I think it's hot, but I'd definitely raise an eyebrow if I saw it in the office.

Why would you raise an eyebrow? Like she's doing it on purpose, or somehow it's happening due to some poor planning on her part?

[lindsaybluth]

Originally Posted by ladyfoxfyre

I don't think slutty or unprofessional is the right way to describe it, it's not something you can really help unless you're running around without a bra on.

You would be amazed. If I walk into any random store, Target or Macy's let's say, throw on a typical, functional yet supportive bra and you are less than 5 feet away from me, you will be able to see me highbeaming it like mad. Even if your vision is 20/40, you'll be able to see them. I'm not horny, I'm cold.

It was horrible for me in high school; I wore thick shirts and often crossed my arms. It wasn't till college that I discovered Victoria's Secret IPEX bras, where the bras have gradual thickness in the middle but remain thin yet supportive throughout the cup. I could never wear a fully padded or push-up bra - I was a C/D cup and a size 4, more padding would have looked very fake and drawn more attention than I was already getting.

Thank god for graduated padding. Right now my Bali or Playtex bra (not sure which) has these center "petals". I'd say it solves 95% of the problem - on a very cold day, with the wrong shirt and the wind blowing...

I wouldn't call it slutty, but it's highly unprofessional.

[ladyfoxfyre]

Originally Posted by lindsaybluth

You would be amazed. (snip)

It was horrible for me in high school; I wore thick shirts and often crossed my arms. It wasn't till college that I discovered Victoria's Secret IPEX bras, where the bras have gradual thickness in the middle but remain thin yet supportive throughout the cup. I could never wear a fully padded or push-up bra - I was a C/D cup and a size 4, more padding would have looked very fake and drawn more attention than I was already getting.

Actually, I doubt I would be that surprised, because it sounds pretty much exactly what I went through in high school, and still do to a good degree. I remember I used to fold up squares of kleenex or toilet paper to put in my bra to act as a barrier. Sheesh. That was a bad, and very very embarrassing time for me.

[Dangerosa]

I use padding to avoid them for myself. Even then, I sometimes get a little peekage. So I don't consider it unprofessional by itself - it depends on the complete package. If its a sheer blouse, sheer bra - yeah, unprofessional. If its "you'd have to look for it under fairly bulky clothes on a cold day, but sometimes, its unavoidable without bra, sweater, jacket, and distraction in the form of scarves and jewelry" - that's my life.

That's work. There are PLENTY of occasions in life where I like dressing slutty. Dinner out with my husband when my parents have the kids for an overnight, spending time in Vegas with same husband......

[Maastricht]

Originally Posted by Eyebrows 0f Doom

Why did you put "embarrassing" in the title but then not have that as a poll choice?

Partly because I the poll was getting too long, but also because embarassing is what one feels oneself, and I wanted to know how people would feel about someone else's nipples poking out.

I might have done the polls differently, now that I've seen the responses. It seems that most guys think visible nipples are something like a low-cut shirt; something a woman does on purpose to look hot. It really isn't.

I'm one of those women who didn't want to wear a padded bra, because my boobs were big enough already, and padded bra's are usually stiff and have a rough surface, so a shirt clings to them. But it seems I will have to look into these gradual thickness-in-the middle bra's.

[elfkin477]

If I noticed someone else's at work, I'd feel that they added weight to my belief that my employers ought to crank the heat up some more. I don't know how they could themselves be considered unprofessional unless the woman in question wasn't wearing a bra to work, which might indicate she's braless for attention. If she's wearing a bra, and you can still tell, it's usually due to cold, not being turned on (at work, mind you), so it's not as though she has much control over it.

[carnut]

Usually I think of erect nipples in the office as a sign that it's too bloody cold. At least, that's what it is for me.

Way back when I used to model, we would put Band-Aids over our knipples. Kinda silly really. We pretty much all have nipples. Deal with it like the professional you are supposed to be.

[nashiitashii]

Personally, I don't like having visibly erect nipples while at work, but I don't care if I see someone else with erect nipples, male or female. I have large breasts that are distracting enough for other people without adding erect nipples into the equation; it's just easier to reduce the number of potential distractions from my professional image by not wearing thin bras and tops that show or hint at the idea that I might have cleavage. I may occasionally encounter someone who will still stare at my chest or think I look unprofessional because of the size of my breasts, but it's greatly reduced by not drawing attention to them.

[Ibanez]

I worked with a very attractive women who always had her arms crossed across her chest most of the time. I suspected she was always keeping her girls warm and the high beams off.

Shucks.

[Chicken Fingers]

I grew up in the sixties and seventies, when women showed nipples and often didn't wear bras, and this nipple embarrassment boggles my mind. Funny how times change.

[Rushgeekgirl]

It's not that it's slutty and I don't really mind seeing them at all. But you mentioned unprofessional and visibly erect nipples makes you look unprofessional. Unless of course your profession was exotic dancer. In that case bring on the nips!

[Really Not All That Bright]

Originally Posted by ladyfoxfyre

Why would you raise an eyebrow? Like she's doing it on purpose, or somehow it's happening due to some poor planning on her part?

Depends on what she's wearing, I suppose. If she's braless and wearing a white blouse I'd prolly assume it was deliberate.

[PandaBear77]

I probably wouldn't notice - I'm generally too busy at my desk to notice what other women are doing/wearing.

If I did notice - no big deal. I definitely don't have any control over when my girls wanna say hi and I assume other women don't either. I also can't see any of the guys I work with making a big deal out of it, either. A 5th grader, perhaps, but not grown men.

[panache45]

You left some of us out of the poll.

Gay guy here: beautiful and sexy, same as a man with an erection.

[j666]

Inappropriate for men and women in the professional setting seems to be the missing choice.

Originally Posted by ladyfoxfyre

Why would you raise an eyebrow? Like she's doing it on purpose, or somehow it's happening due to some poor planning on her part?

Well, it is, isn't it? She should have done her laundry so either her sweaters or her "silk blouse" bras were clean.

Not that it makes her a slut or unkempt, just late with the laundry.

[Maastricht]

Originally Posted by j66

Inappropriate for men and women in the professional setting seems to be the missing choice....She should have done her laundry so either her sweaters or her "silk blouse" bras were clean.

Only padded bras even begin to hide poking nipples. Normal bras do nothing to hide them. It's not like normal bras come with a warning " These do not hide nipples".

I have to say, I don't know so many men found the phenomenon unprofessional.
Ladies, are there any inserts for sale somewhere that can be used in existing bras?

[DianaG]

I wear the aforementioned headlight-minimizing bras, and sometimes even with the bra and a sweater, I still get visible nippleage. Hell, I've been known to show through a suit jacket, if it's cold enough, and I don't think I'm unusually endowed in the nipple department. Should I be donning kevlar undergarments so that people never have to be confronted with the fact that I'm made of human parts?

[Chronos]

It's sexy in the appropriate context, but erectile tissue isn't exactly under voluntary control, so in a non-sexual situation, it's best to just politely ignore it.

[AClockworkMelon]

Or women could start wearing corsets again. You know, for the greater good and all that.

[NinetyWt]

Originally Posted by Chronos

It's sexy in the appropriate context, but erectile tissue isn't exactly under voluntary control, so in a non-sexual situation, it's best to just politely ignore it.

Mine stick out regardless. It has nothing to do with arousal, or being cold, even. It seems to be a leftover from breastfeeding. They're never "not" sticking out. And I haven't breastfed in 20 years.

[Superhal]

Bras are a crime against humanity.

[Least Original User Name Ever]

Meh. They're nipples. Yeah, I'll have a schoolboy moment at work over them, but I'll get over it very quickly and things will remain professional.

[Rysdad]

I live in Minnesota. Niplets are de rigueur.

[Lamia]

Originally Posted by Chicken Fingers

I grew up in the sixties and seventies, when women showed nipples and often didn't wear bras, and this nipple embarrassment boggles my mind. Funny how times change.

Someone here once linked to a scanned magazine ad from the '70s, advertising a sort of nipple insert women could put into their bras. Not a nipple covering insert mind you, it was designed to allow women who preferred to wear bras to mimic that hip and trendy "I'm not wearing a bra" look!

[j666]

Originally Posted by Maastricht

Only padded bras even begin to hide poking nipples. Normal bras do nothing to hide them. It's not like normal bras come with a warning " These do not hide nipples".

There are bras that are not the heavy, size-increasing old-fahsioned padded bras that work for a lot of women; they have smooth cups of light-weight foam. If the foam is thicker than your nipple, they work okay.

[I have one in which the cups have a very discreet 'fake' nipple in the foam - a very slight mound in the center of the cup. One of the few bras I have that fits, and I still can't wear it under a silk blouse.]

[Hello Again]

Originally Posted by NinetyWt

Mine stick out regardless. It has nothing to do with arousal, or being cold, even. It seems to be a leftover from breastfeeding. They're never "not" sticking out. And I haven't breastfed in 20 years.

Same. And I've never had a child.

I wear a suit at work (and I don't wear silky fabrics because they're too hard to care for) so it really doesn't matter. But short of wearing a bra that's armored like a sherman tank, they show.

[BigT]

All I know is that I paid a lot of attention to this as a youngster, and very rarely did this happen with anyone who was just not familiar enough to know how to hide them, i.e. the girls in my class and younger. The exception was a teacher in my English class in ninth grade and this person who owned a bookshope. Both of them came off as ex-hippies.

I understand in theory that some people can't help it, but I've personally never experienced it. But I'll admit your breasts are no longer the first place I look. Chances are I won't notice in a professional setting, as I'll be too busy working.

I'll also point out for every one else that a male errection is considered even more horrible as it is larger, so it's not a misogynistic thing. During my younger years, when it was happening a lot outside my control, I specifically shoppped for pants and underwear that would hide it. And while I personally avoided looking down there in others, it wouldn't surprise me if other guys did this, too.

[samclem]

Didn't read every response, and didn't like the limited choices. Straight male here, who looks.

Nipples started to disappear about 5-10 years ago. Before that, many women wore bras that were of thinner material, and you couldn't help it if you got hit by a cold draft. Involuntary response.

In comes the bras of today, which, at the time, I found unflattering. Padded, but not like the old time padded bras of the 1950s-60s. Now, almost everyone wears them. Very functional.

[China Guy]

Well, I like the nipple look and find it very attractive. In a professional context, as long as one isn't dressing to show off the perky headlights (ex. thin white silk shirt with no bra) thenI think it's fine.

For some context, I'm don't think that leading with cleavage is professional yet there are plenty of women that do this. well, if you want to deliberately lead with cleavage in a sales role catering to men that will respond, that's your decision. As a manager, I have had to have some very embarrassing conversations with more than one woman that worked for me on this topic after being thoroughly coached by HR on what and how I could say it. I think perky nipples falls in kinda the same category as cleavage, don't flaunt them and it's professional.

[NinetyWt]

I don't think leading with cleavage is professional either.

Here's the thing: in my line of work (civil engineering), women are still not seen as being as competent as men (IMO), although that is changing. When I am in the work environment, it's very important to me to be taken seriously. I just don't think that's possible if I'm shoving my boobs all up in people's faces, whether it's nipplage or cleavage.

It isn't that there is anything wrong with boobs, it's just that there is a time and place for me to be wanting others to think about them, and a time and place when I don't want them thinking about them.

[flatlined]

I have sweater bumpers. I wear them proudly in the right circumstances. I'd never let my nips show at other times.

[Inner Stickler]

I've seen a lot of men in workplaces dress in such a way that their nipples are clearly visible under shirts. If it's unprofessional for women, it's unprofessional for men. And as a gay man, it can certainly be distracting depending on the guy who is nippling.

If nipples are an issue, they're an issue for the viewer and not the nippler.