Restaurant Rules to Live By

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

In this thread, I mentioned my restaurant rules. Rather than hijack the thread with the ensuing discussion, I figured I'd start a new thread.

So here are my restaurant rules, garnered through painful experience:

1) The Interstate Restaurant Rule: Always eat at chains within a half-mile of the interstate. Non-chain restaurants within a half-mile of the interstate don't need to rely on repeat business, so they will probably be gruesome.
2) The Core Competency Rule: eat what the restaurant is known for. The pizza joint might have fish & chips on the menu for the person that doesn't like pizza, but it'll suck. The pizza at the fish camp will also suck.
3) The Best in Show Corollary: don't order a dish at a restaurant that's made better at a different restaurant you can get to anytime soon. If the mad genius behind a local weird tapas joint puts some crazy-ass barbecue sandwich on the menu, and you live in North Carolina, order something else, because you'll only end up comparing it to the genuine article. It's kind of a corollary to the Core Competency rule.
4) The Buffet Novelty Rule: never eat something unusual off a buffet. The weird stuff doesn't get eaten as much as the regular stuff, which means it's been sitting under those heat lamps longer. Those beautiful steamed crayfish at the end of the Chinese buffet in Morganton, NC? They've been there since last Tuesday.

Superhal suggested the following rules:
5. The Dumb Waiter Rule: never ask the waiter what the "specialty of the house" is. Ask "what do most customers order around here?'
6. The "When In Doubt, Order Bread" rule: if the restaurant has food you don't particularly like, but you don't want to get hit by the Core Competency Rule, order something made of bread, e.g. hamburger, BLT, pancakes, etc. It's rare to screw up a bread-based dish, and even if you do, you won't get diarrhea or indigestion from it.
7. The Backwards Menu Rule: always check the back/bottom of the menu for the best dishes. The front usually has the most expensive and least satisfying items.

I'm not sure I agree with rule 6 (I've had some terrible burgers and sandwiches), but I can see how he gets there. The dumb waiter rule is brilliant, given the reported propensity of restaurants to make their specials out of whatever's about to go bad, so they can unload it on the customer. And I'll have to check out the backwards menu rule.

What are your rules, or feedback on the rules so far?

[MPB in Salt Lake]

For non-meat eaters---Don't give them your life philosophy on why you don't eat meat, or tell them about your rare digestive issues or last month's religious awakening.

"Can you make the mushroom-swiss burger with a Boca patty instead of the burger?"

"Can you leave the chicken out of the cajun chicken fettuccine?"

Unless it's a life-threatening food allergy, (and even then) they don't care about WHY you don't want a specific ingredient, so just ask if your dish can be modified to your liking and then go from there without the self-righteous 5 minute explanation on your philosophical worldview about the hidden shame of factory farming or the tragic plight of the Guatemalan farmer.

[flickster]

I try to avoid chains, even when traveling on the interstate. However, I do agree with the thinking behind your exit location rule (but the same goes for chains as well, maybe even more so).

When practical, I will try to search out a busy local even if it means driving a few miles out of my way. Have I ended up being burnt by this quest, yes. But I've also found some real gems as well. Now with I-phones, this quest is made even easier with available maps, directions, listings, and reviews!!!

[pinkfreud]

Don't base your tip on how good the food tasted. The servers didn't cook it. Tip well for attentive, friendly service, whether you liked the food or not.

[flickster]

Originally Posted by MPB in Salt Lake

For non-meat eaters---Don't give them your life philosophy on why you don't eat meat, or tell them about your rare digestive issues or last month's religious awakening.

"Can you make the mushroom-swiss burger with a Boca patty instead of the burger?"

"Can you leave the chicken out of the cajun chicken fettuccine?"

Unless it's a life-threatening food allergy, (and even then) they don't care about WHY you don't want a specific ingredient, so just ask if your dish can be modified to your liking and then go from there without the self-righteous 5 minute explanation on your philosophical worldview about the hidden shame of factory farming or the tragic plight of the Guatemalan farmer.

Most chains will still be clueless on how to modify a dish accordingly. If traveling, you're better off sticking to a listed vegetarian selection or salad.

[zoid]

The ethnicity/cop rule.
If it's an ethnic restaurant, look for people of that ethnicity - if they won't eat there you shouldn't either.
Look for cops - cops spend a lot of time patrolling an area. If there's a place with good food at an affordable price, the cops know about it.

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

The tipping and veggie rules are good, but frankly they're altruistic--I'm thinking more about rules that lead to eating decent food or avoiding nasty food. I'm totally selfish with my rules. (I trust myself to treat wait staff decently and to tip appropriately: my worry is that other people or their food will suck).

The ethnicity rule is interesting, but it's failed me spectacularly at least once. When I lived in Chapel Hill, there was a restaurant called El Rodeo. Most of the clientele were Latino. The food was absolutely goddamn disgusting by my standards: incredibly lardy and foul. Ever since, I've been wary of the ethnicity idea, because maybe my tastes in food aren't the same as folks who grew up with a scoop of lard in their beans at every meal, or whatever.

The cop rule is interesting. I'll have to kep an eye out for that.

flickster, your modification of the Interstate rule is interesting. My problem with it is that a crowded parking lot may mean a long wait, and if I'm driving, I'm probably not willing to take a long wait. However, for folks with different circumstances (e.g., you're on a road trip just for the sake of being on a road trip), it makes total sense.

[Cat Whisperer]

Your whim is someone else's work - keep your demands down to a reasonable level.

[salinqmind]

We found ourselves at Chili's, home of the baby back ribs some time back - with - surprise! - a fanatical vegetarian who would not suffer one fleck of bacon on his appetizer. Watching him for 10 minutes ordering something was a trip. I must say, though, the waitress was a real pro. She and veg-o had a long discussion about veggie patties, beans, rice, and various modifications that could be had off-menu. She told us that she had served a party of vegans the week before. She got a nice tip for her pains, believe it.

[Maiira]

Always have a Plan B in mind. That way, if the restaurant happens to be out of something, you don't have to start frantically scanning the menu again looking for something else.

And something I always do: if I have to remember a laundry list of substitutions or omissions (like, say, ordering a roast beef sandwich with swiss cheese on rye as a turkey sandwich with cheddar cheese on wheat), just order something else. I try to find a thing that has the most amount of ingredients that I like--if there are too many things on it that I don't like, I don't bother.

[silenus]

If you are eating ethnic, the fancier the plating, the worse the food. The best BBQ is served on butcher paper. The best fried chicken is served on a chipped white plate that looks like a school cafeteria plate.

Sides can show quality. If a place serves black-eyed peas and greens, you can count on their fried chicken.

Don't eat with vegans. Ever.

[Sakuma Drops]

Originally Posted by Left Hand of Dorkness

The ethnicity rule is interesting, but it's failed me spectacularly at least once. When I lived in Chapel Hill, there was a restaurant called El Rodeo. Most of the clientele were Latino. The food was absolutely goddamn disgusting by my standards: incredibly lardy and foul. Ever since, I've been wary of the ethnicity idea, because maybe my tastes in food aren't the same as folks who grew up with a scoop of lard in their beans at every meal, or whatever.

In semi-defense of El Rodeo, it used to be damn good. It changed management (in-house) a few times until it was eventually bought out by another chain, the food quality declining steadily all the while. In its present form its clientele consists mostly of college students who usually drink too much beer to taste the food

I've had decent luck with the ethnicity rule, especially in Asian restaurants. There are some spectacularly bad Chinese joints in my area but you very seldom see many Chinese people eating in them. My aunt is Korean and she definitely doesn't mess around with where she spends her night-on-the-town money.

My corollary to this rule is to try to eat at places where people are cooking food that is native to their own ethnic group. If they grew up eating it there's a greater chance that they might know how the hell it's made.

EDIT:

If you are eating ethnic, the fancier the plating, the worse the food. The best BBQ is served on butcher paper. The best fried chicken is served on a chipped white plate that looks like a school cafeteria plate.

Hell yes. The best barbecue sandwich I ever had was served in a paper wrapper on a styrofoam plate. For dessert we were served most excellent banana pudding in styrofoam drink cups

[PSXer]

never heard of El Rodeo but the only Mexican restaurant I eat at in Chapel Hill is Bandidos; the food is good although it can be greasy. I guess it passes the ethnicity test for employees but not customers in my experience; does that still count?

[Exapno Mapcase]

If you're eating in a moderately nice or better restaurant (non-chain) the quality of the bread is always a tip-off. Good bread means good food. Doughy blah rolls mean indifferent entrées. Overly fussy zucchini-walnut-date-pesto bread means the chef will mix too many flavors together and ruin whatever is underneath. Nearly infallible.

[Sakuma Drops]

Originally Posted by PSXer

never heard of El Rodeo but the only Mexican restaurant I eat at in Chapel Hill is Bandidos; the food is good although it can be greasy. I guess it passes the ethnicity test for employees but not customers in my experience; does that still count?

Not to go on an all-out Chapel Hill derail, but Bandido's is not considered among the people I know to be all that authentic (FWIW the guy who originally owned it, years ago, was from Colombia). It's okay, they do some stuff well (I like the shredded beef), but IMO there are better places. If you get a chance, try Torero's or, even better, Fiesta Grill.

[PSXer]

I don't care about authentic as much as what I like. And Bandidos is the cheapest place to go (for lunch anyway) and I already like it and don't like trying new things

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

Originally Posted by Sakuma Drops

In semi-defense of El Rodeo, it used to be damn good. It changed management (in-house) a few times until it was eventually bought out by another chain, the food quality declining steadily all the while. In its present form its clientele consists mostly of college students who usually drink too much beer to taste the food

Heh, I didn't figure anyone else would know that restaurant. This was in 1998 that I had that experience; I'd never been there before, nor did I return.

[RealityChuck]

1. When in doubt, order the house specialty. If they can't make that taste good, they aren't going to make anything taste good.

2. Truck drivers don't know the best restaurants; they know the restaurants with the biggest parking lots.

3. In a new city, never eat in a restaurant chain that you can eat at back home. It's pretty silly to travel 1000 miles to eat at an Applebee's.

4. There are certain places where it's impossible to find bad restaurant food. So far, my list includes San Francisco, Montreal, Paris, and the Lexington Market in Baltimore.

5. The longer a restaurant has been in business under the same management, the better it is likely to be.

6. If a seafood restaurant doubles as a fish market, eat there.

7. If a local restaurant or diner has its own left turn lane leading into it, eat there.

[Sakuma Drops]

Oh, I thought of another one...

If a restaurant has a zillion items on the menu, from disparate schools of cooking (i.e., they have pasta dishes in one category and fajitas in another and "rice bowls" in yet another), there's a good chance they might all be mediocre. It's the classic "Jack of All Trades, Master of None" idiom.

[Cat Whisperer]

Originally Posted by Sakuma Drops

Oh, I thought of another one...

If a restaurant has a zillion items on the menu, from disparate schools of cooking (i.e., they have pasta dishes in one category and fajitas in another and "rice bowls" in yet another), there's a good chance they might all be mediocre. It's the classic "Jack of All Trades, Master of None" idiom.

A local new restaurant opened up a few years ago, and they had exactly this problem - a menu that read like a book, and nothing particularly tasty. They quite quickly pared down the menu, but they're since gone under and re-opened. In some ways, you don't even have to have much on the menu - just make what you have really, really good - people will come for one specific thing if you make the best thing in town, no problem.

[missred]

Originally Posted by flickster

Most chains will still be clueless on how to modify a dish accordingly. If traveling, you're better off sticking to a listed vegetarian selection or salad.

To add to this, some dishes at chain restaurants couldn't be modified, even if they tried; they come already prepared and are just nuked.

My restaurant rule: google ahead when on the road. I tend to plan my stops on long road trips and a quick google search for what's available, many times will yield options that I wouldn't have known about had I just stopped at the first place off the interstate.

On trips that you frequently make, have favorites, but don't be afraid (when they're not slammed) to ask your server about different options. If s/he has seen you there before, they figure that you'll be back from time to time, even if there's another place close by with a different cuisine (example: "You wouldn't happen to know of a good Italian place near this exit for the return trip, would you?" at a steakhouse. Coupled with a good tip, your server will likely tell you "Yeah, Mama Rosa's at the next exit has a shrimp and angel hair pasta dish to die for.")

[Sakuma Drops]

Originally Posted by missred

On trips that you frequently make, have favorites, but don't be afraid (when they're not slammed) to ask your server about different options. If s/he has seen you there before, they figure that you'll be back from time to time, even if there's another place close by with a different cuisine (example: "You wouldn't happen to know of a good Italian place near this exit for the return trip, would you?" at a steakhouse. Coupled with a good tip, your server will likely tell you "Yeah, Mama Rosa's at the next exit has a shrimp and angel hair pasta dish to die for.")

My family did this on a recent trip to New York. We were in the mood for Italian but didn't want to leave Midtown (on account of it being really freaking cold), so we asked the bartender at the hotel where he liked to go for Italian in the neighborhood. Perhaps not surprisingly, he didn't recommend the Italian restaurant in the hotel, but rather another place a couple blocks away which turned out to be quite good.

[Exapno Mapcase]

Originally Posted by Cat Whisperer

A local new restaurant opened up a few years ago, and they had exactly this problem - a menu that read like a book, and nothing particularly tasty. They quite quickly pared down the menu, but they're since gone under and re-opened. In some ways, you don't even have to have much on the menu - just make what you have really, really good - people will come for one specific thing if you make the best thing in town, no problem.

Cheesecake Factory is the one place where they do a mostly decent job of having a book for a menu and making the various cuisines decent, if not great.

Every time I see the Cheesecake Factory on Big Bang Theory, with its two-sided diner menu, I wonder why they can't borrow a real menu. You'd think they could pull 50 gags out of its length.

[Ronald C. Semone]

Never order Key Lime Pie. The chance that it is really made from key limes approaches zero.

And then there is the old standby: Never eat at a place called "Mom's".

[Chronos]

Don't ask the waiter "What's good?". It's such an open-ended question they won't even know where to start. Instead, ask "Is the <insert dish here> good?", or "I'm trying to decide between <dish A> and <dish B>".

And it's my philosophy that yes, you can actually trust the waiter with such questions, since they don't want to serve you something that you won't like: That'll generally lead to lower tips and less repeat business.

[TriPolar]

It's a very good list. I'd say for #7, look for the dishes in the middle of the price range. The most and least expensive dishes are likely to be overpriced. The middle range of the prices is also where you'll find the dishes that match rule #2, the dish the restaurant is known for, the one they make most often, and the one that will have the freshest ingredients because of the high turnover.

[Gatopescado]

RealityChuck's "guidelines" are far better than the OP's, which I find pretty useless.

[Peremensoe]

Originally Posted by Left Hand of Dorkness

1) The Interstate Restaurant Rule: Always eat at chains within a half-mile of the interstate. Non-chain restaurants within a half-mile of the interstate don't need to rely on repeat business, so they will probably be gruesome.

Depressing. I'd rather go with, Never eat anything within half a mile of the interstate unless from a home-packed basket or cooler. If you must travel by interstate, get a few miles off it for meals. The time is well-spent for better food, better prices and better setting.

[even sven]

As mentioned, each distinct cuisine a restaurant offers lowers it's quality by about half. An American-Mexican-Greek restaurant is going to be 25% as good as a straightforward Mexican restaurant. The exception is when the chef has one or two items from their own homeland on a diner menu.

Good Mexican restaurants have pickled veggies.

Just because a lot of Asian people are there does not mean that an Asian restaurant is good. I know my Chinese food, and I've been to some incredibly inauthentic slophouses that still have plenty of Asian clients. That said, daily specials on the wall in Chinese are a sign of a good Chinese restaurant, but there is probably a special menu you have to get to get the good stuff. Either that, or the authentic dishes will be put in willy-nilly with the American "lemon-chicken" stuff and people unfamiliar with real Chinese food won't know what to pick.

[Patch]

Originally Posted by zoid

The ethnicity/cop rule.
If it's an ethnic restaurant, look for people of that ethnicity - if they won't eat there you shouldn't either.

Heh. One day a friend and I went out for lunch. He wanted sushi, I hated the stuff, so he went into a sushi restaurant full of Caucasians, and I hit the burger joint next door. The burger joint was full of Asians.

When we met afterwords, I asked if his sushi was horrible, and he said yes.

[Kolak of Twilo]

Originally Posted by silenus

Don't eat with vegans. Ever.

Better rule - don't associate with vegans.

[jjimm]

I know a very pleasant, non-preachy vegan. (I would never invite her for dinner, however.)

My rule of meat: if you aren't fussy, and it's a good restaurant, when the waitstaff asks you how you want it cooked, ask for "the chef's preference". A good chef will have a preferred style around which the meal was originally conceived; not only do you get to eat the original dish, such an order coming into the kitchen may inspire the chef to pay extra attention to your plate. Also, most chefs have a preference for rare - and so do I.

[shijinn]

guideline - herbivores taste better than carnivores.

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

Originally Posted by Gatopescado

RealityChuck's "guidelines" are far better than the OP's, which I find pretty useless.

Thanks for sharing.

[TruCelt]

The Interstate rule skips the most important criteria of all: choose a busy truck stop if there is one. Truckers know where the good food is. And they are on the road enough that they do eventually start to want some fresh food, at a good price. They plan ahead and don't 'have' to stop at any particular exit, so if the truck stop is busy, it's either because they have a truck wash, they have substantially cheaper diesel, or the food is good. Usually the latter.

If the bathroom is filthy, never go back. I admit that I don't check them out before I'm seated, and I've never canceled an order because of this, but a restaurant inspector once told me that there is almost always a direct correlation in cleanliness.

[Left Hand of Dorkness]

Originally Posted by spark240

Depressing. I'd rather go with, Never eat anything within half a mile of the interstate unless from a home-packed basket or cooler. If you must travel by interstate, get a few miles off it for meals. The time is well-spent for better food, better prices and better setting.

Why is it depressing? I live in a town with kickass restaurants; every few years the New York Times sends a reporter down here for a fluff piece about how great our restaurants are. When I'm on the road, I generally want to get to my destination quickly. Great food is not a priority at that point; it's a time to settle for mediocre food. My experience is that chains along the interstate will have mediocre food, and that non-chains are generally horrifying. I guess I could pack a cooler, but it wouldn't be hot, and I like a hot meal when I'm traveling.

[MsRobyn]

Originally Posted by TruCelt

The Interstate rule skips the most important criteria of all: choose a busy truck stop if there is one. Truckers know where the good food is. And they are on the road enough that they do eventually start to want some fresh food, at a good price. They plan ahead and don't 'have' to stop at any particular exit, so if the truck stop is busy, it's either because they have a truck wash, they have substantially cheaper diesel, or the food is good. Usually the latter.

This is not always true. I live in Trucking Central and while there a zillion good restaurants in town, they're not accessible by truck. The restaurants that are accessible by truck are places like Denny's and the restaurants located at truck stops. Why would I go to any of them if I can find better food at a better price in town?

If the bathroom is filthy, never go back. I admit that I don't check them out before I'm seated, and I've never canceled an order because of this, but a restaurant inspector once told me that there is almost always a direct correlation in cleanliness.

I agree with this.

[Raguleader]

If you're on a road trip, and you're more concerned about getting to your destination than having a quality dining experience, places like McDonalds, Whataburger, or Wendys all tend to be a solid bet: You can be reasonably sure of what you are going to get.

Of course, this depends greatly on what your opinion of said places tends to be normally. If you're me, then they're pretty decent, very fast, and affordable. If you're many other people I have met on the SDMB, then they are horrible places with apathetic workers, cardboard food, and overpriced.

[dalej42]

Try to avoid eating on a Sunday.

1.The afternoon will be filled with the after church crowd. This means lots of large parties and kids.

2. The restaurant is likely to be short staffed due to people calling in hung over or waiters not wanting to deal with the after church crowd.

3. The restaurant is likely to be out of several items after a busy Friday/Saturday night.

4. At night, the after church crowd is gone, but the restaurant is likely to be even more short staffed if they use a Monday-Sunday workweek. The managers are likely to send staff home once they've reached their 40 hour limit. This goes double for a chain with a 'No overtime, ever' unwritten policy.

[Nava]

When on the road, if there are several restaurants close to each other: pick the one with the trucks parked out front.

In Spain this is known as the "follow the experts rule". Note that it doesn't apply to cities, only to "on the road places".

[runner pat]

Originally Posted by Nava

When on the road, if there are several restaurants close to each other: pick the one with the trucks parked out front.

In Spain this is known as the "follow the experts rule". Note that it doesn't apply to cities, only to "on the road places".

One caveat: they might be parked there because it's the only place with room for the truck.

[dawson]

Originally Posted by dalej42

Try to avoid eating on a Sunday.

1.The afternoon will be filled with the after church crowd. This means lots of large parties and kids.

2. The restaurant is likely to be short staffed due to people calling in hung over or waiters not wanting to deal with the after church crowd.

3. The restaurant is likely to be out of several items after a busy Friday/Saturday night.

4. At night, the after church crowd is gone, but the restaurant is likely to be even more short staffed if they use a Monday-Sunday workweek. The managers are likely to send staff home once they've reached their 40 hour limit. This goes double for a chain with a 'No overtime, ever' unwritten policy.

A couple more things to add to this;

Don't order fish on Sunday or Monday. Most restaurants are busiest on the weekend and therefore get their fish order on Thursday so they have a chance to prep it for the weekend. There's a good chance any fish to be had on Sunday and Monday has been sitting around for three or four days or pulled out of the back of an industrial freezer.
A corollary to this last rule is don't order the overly seasoned fish unless it is an example of the house specialty. Ie: if an Italian joint is offering a Cajun fish fillet they're probably trying to hide an "odiferous" piece of fish in lots of herbs and spices

There's a good chance the head chef is not working on Sunday. After a busy Friday and Saturday night a day off is welcome, and the top dog usally gets first pick, so if your going to eat out on Sunday keep it simple.

[Sakuma Drops]

Originally Posted by even sven

Just because a lot of Asian people are there does not mean that an Asian restaurant is good. I know my Chinese food, and I've been to some incredibly inauthentic slophouses that still have plenty of Asian clients.

YMMV, I guess. In particular I can think of two really terrible Chinese buffet places near where I live, and the local Chinese tend to steer clear of them. That being said, there's "formula" Chinese and then there's bland, rubbery, over-salted "formula" Chinese. I don't tend to have a problem with the former as long as it's prepared well, even if it isn't quite as authentic.

That said, daily specials on the wall in Chinese are a sign of a good Chinese restaurant, but there is probably a special menu you have to get to get the good stuff. Either that, or the authentic dishes will be put in willy-nilly with the American "lemon-chicken" stuff and people unfamiliar with real Chinese food won't know what to pick.

Good call, I forgot to mention about the "special" menu. I've had good luck ordering from these but it's usually a good idea to ask the waiter what's good. Still, at the places I've been locally where they have two menus, they usually take a little more care in making the "special" dishes.

[Ichbin Dubist]

Originally Posted by Left Hand of Dorkness

2) The Core Competency Rule: eat what the restaurant is known for. The pizza joint might have fish & chips on the menu for the person that doesn't like pizza, but it'll suck. The pizza at the fish camp will also suck.

Northeast Addendum: Unless you have been given a recommendation for a particular dish, don't order anything in a diner for which you would need to a consult a recipe to cook yourself.

For this güero, the Mexican food rule would be: Mexican food gets better as the cheese gets less familiar-looking and is used more sparingly.

[Nava]

Originally Posted by runner pat

One caveat: they might be parked there because it's the only place with room for the truck.

Maybe in the US, in Spain I've seen spots where you had four similar-sized restaurants with similar-sized lots, one of them was at 90% capacity and the rest empty.

And no, the empty-lotted restaurants were not closed.

[Sakuma Drops]

The "Dive" Rule:

If you see a very small restaurant and there is either a line to the door or people waiting outside, that may be an indication of a good "dive" that the locals frequent.

[stegon66]

Try to avoid eating on a Sunday.

1.The afternoon will be filled with the after church crowd. This means lots of large parties and kids.

2. The restaurant is likely to be short staffed due to people calling in hung over or waiters not wanting to deal with the after church crowd.

3. The restaurant is likely to be out of several items after a busy Friday/Saturday night.

4. At night, the after church crowd is gone, but the restaurant is likely to be even more short staffed if they use a Monday-Sunday workweek. The managers are likely to send staff home once they've reached their 40 hour limit. This goes double for a chain with a 'No overtime, ever' unwritten policy.

Pretty much, although we get our delivery on Friday so we don't usually run out of anything over the weekend.

[EvilTOJ]

Originally Posted by Gatopescado

RealityChuck's "guidelines" are far better than the OP's, which I find pretty useless.

Let's see your list of dining rules then.

[TruCelt]

The interstate/truckstop rule is not for your own town, where you can get to know places. The interstate/truckstop rule is for when you are zooming off an exit, on the way to somwhere and want to increase your chances of getting good food, at good prices, quickly.

[Colophon]

In one of his travel books, Bill Bryson posited the rule: "Never eat at a restaurant which has photographs of the food on its menu". I think that's a pretty safe one.

Also, when in a touristy place (I'm chiefly thinking Mediterranean beach places, here), I will generally make a pass down the restaurant strip from one end to the other, then head back to any place that doesn't have a grinning proprietor standing outside next to the menu, beseeching people to come in and enjoy his wonderful food.