Ask the new mom (formerly the hugely pregnant chick)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

A couple of months back I started Ask the hugely pregnant chick. My daughter is two and a half months old now, and I find I have the time and brain cells to open a sequel thread. Aren’t y’all stoked?

So, here’s some pertinent information:

I went into labor naturally one day before my due date.
I dilated from 2-8 cm in two hours, then my daughter got stuck and I stopped dilating.
Swift back labor with a stuck baby was a 9 out of 10 on the pain scale; I’m reserving 10 for third degree burns, in case they hurt more. Sitting up to receive an epidural was the single hardest thing I’ve ever done.
I had an emergency c-section under general anesthesia.
I love general anesthesia.
I tried to breastfeed, but gave up after two weeks, and stopped pumping after six.
We also give her a pacifier, use disposable diapers, and she has slept in her crib in her own room from the start.
Thirty-one of the fifty-six pounds I gained came off with no effort.
My daughter is the cutest baby ever (cite). Your baby might be cute. Mine’s cuter.

Fire away? I’m heading to bed now–I’ll check in in the morning.

2

Your daughter is very cute. I love that slightly mischievous expression. Congratulations!

3

Oh yeah, freight train stuck in a drinking straw, been there.

Congratulations on the disposables and the pacifyer (geez, how do you spell that anyway?) and giving up on the breast feeding when it wasn’t working. If you’re that confident after only a few months you’re going to be an awesome mom.

I don’t have any questions, but I can confirm that what you have there is a very cute baby.

4

When she gets to be a toddler, are you ever going to just sit her in front of the TV while you tend to stuff, exactly like we weren’t going to with ours?

Congratulations! Yep, she’s cute, alright. I have a couple of fine young gentlemen of good character here who might like to meet her, if she’s not doing anything 16 years from Saturday night.

5

She is undoubtedly adorable.

Frankly, almost my only question(s) have to relate to the crappy work situation you were in right before you were due, 'cause you kinda disappeared on us.

But the biggest question is, are there more pictures? 'cause she is a cutie. Also, what did you name her?

6

How have/will you deal with people who trash your parenting decisions? (and they will)

7

Way to make motherhood work for you! I was always amazed at how nitpicky others got over stupid stuff. “You gave your newborn a bottle? Now she will have nipple confusion!” Well, their kid may have been confused, but my baby was like, “Meh. I suck on it and food comes out; nuff’ said.”

I loved disposable diapers. Especially when they were toddlers. Loved when they came out of the bath, into a clean diaper, and into their footie jammies, how when they escaped from my ministrations, the rustle, rustle, rustle, sound as they tore down the hallway squealing and giggling. Heaven on earth.

8

When she gets to be a toddler, are you ever going to just sit her in front of the TV while you tend to stuff, exactly like we weren’t going to with ours?

Oh, of course I will. An hour of cartoons here and there doesn’t hurt anything. Our only TV content is Netflix Instant and DVDs, though, so there won’t be much exposure to commercials, which are my biggest parenting bugaboo. We don’t have gaming systems, either, though we’ll get an Android tablet eventually and let her play kiddie apps.

Frankly, almost my only question(s) have to relate to the crappy work situation you were in right before you were due, 'cause you kinda disappeared on us.

Aww (sniffle) it hadn’t occurred to me anyone would remember. You’re so sweet. As planned, I took my maternity leave and then resigned. I don’t feel one bit guilty, after all those years with no bonuses, none of the promised raises, and several months of a cut salary when the company almost went under. They owed me that paid leave, big time. My rotten co-workers rattled the window frames in my dreams for a couple of weeks, but now have gone away.

**But the biggest question is, are there more pictures? 'cause she is a cutie. Also, what did you name her? **

Yes, check out that photobucket account–I have a few more of her, plus all of my pregnancy belly shots, which I’m sure you’re dying to see (not). My daughter’s name is Amelia, or Emmy, Amelala, Amy-lala, Tootse, Tiniest Tootse, Toodlepops, Toodles, Twitterbird, Cutie Patootie, Lil’ Pooper, Pooper Scooper, Super Soaker, Ball-of-baby, and AB.

**How have/will you deal with people who trash your parenting decisions? (and they will) **

By talking them to death about how I arrived at those decisions. I can really get medieval on people who question formula feeding, because OH LORDY HOW I TRIED to breastfeed her. At the end of that mess, the lactation consultant patted me on the back and said I’d tried really hard, and she was proud of me for making the best choice for me and my daughter.

I’ve been haunting the Dope the last few days looking for parenting threads in which to spew my newfound wisdom. I can’t WAIT for the next “what baby stuff do I really need” thread.

9

That look just screams “I made poopies!”

10

Wishing you a lifetime of joy with your new family!

11

Congratulations! My son is now 2years 7 months. It is a fun time although when they are so little, you are somewhat sleep deprived.

Is this your first one? Have you found that you bought a whole bunch of stuff that you thought was essential only to discover that you really didn’t need it?

We bought a baby monitor which we used a few weeks before getting rid of it as kind of useless. My son has a powerful set of lungs and his room is next to ours. As long as we slept with the door cracked open, we can hear him just fine.

12

SO cute!

Don’t worry, I’m not a boob nazi, just curious what wasn’t working with breastfeeding?

13

**Is this your first one? Have you found that you bought a whole bunch of stuff that you thought was essential only to discover that you really didn’t need it? **

Oh hell yes. She has way too many clothes, mostly. All she’s NEEDED so far is half a dozen footless sleepers, half a dozen pairs of socks, a hat and one pretty dress. I treated myself to buying her a much bigger layette though (cuz, you know, baby girl squee!) and then after she was born everybody we know, even tangentially, sent more clothes (cuz, you know, baby girl squee!).

All of the bottles with special nipples that emulate breastfeeding–those have gone to waste. Once you’re formula-feeding only, there’s no point in making the baby work that hard. Nine of the Playtex Ventaire 9-oz bottles and a dozen low-flow nipples would have been fine.

We don’t have a bottle warmer, wipe warmer, or Diaper Genie either, and haven’t missed them. We DO love our expensive AngelCare monitor though. Unlike the crummy Sony one we had at first, it doesn’t crackle.

**Don’t worry, I’m not a boob nazi, just curious what wasn’t working with breastfeeding? **

There were two main issues, both of which may or may not have resolved in time… one was that my daughter always fell asleep while eating. It was so bad, I sometimes put wet socks on her to keep her awake. Feedings would take 30-75 minutes. When you have to do that every 2-3 hours, life gets unlivable (for me, anyway). The second was that it hurt me just to be lactating, and being sucked on hurt even more. I kept hurting during the four weeks I was only pumping. Then I got mastitis and said “screw it”. I saw a lactation consultant nine times, they confirmed that the latch was great. I just hurt.

14

Hee hee… actually, she was having a “conversation” with her dad right after he’d gotten home from work. Daddy already gets very special smiles. Big ones that mom doesn’t. Alas. Daddy says that this is because he plays The Doors for her.

Oh, and yes, she is my first one. Wow, nothing prepares you for that first month, eh?

15

Congratulations on your new little darling, Sattua! She is quite the cutie! I’m sorry breastfeeding didn’t work out for you. It really saves the bucks on formula. Plus the other benefits of course. Yay for the sane lactation consultant! :slight_smile:

But anyway, she looks happy and content. I hope mama’s the same!

16

When my kids were small I made a snarky comment to another mother about how I NEVER let my child just sit in front of the TV for an hour or two. She looked at me calmly and said, “When was the last time you got to soak in a hot bath for 30 undisturbed minutes?”

She became my new parenting guru and my kids became best friends with SpongeBob.

Being an asshole is ok if you learn something from it, Right?

17

Arrgghh. The costs of breastfeeding really mounted up in those weeks that I tried it, hon. My daughter had thrush and I had two rounds of mastitis. There were nine trips to the lactation consultants (a thirty-mile round trip) and an extra visit with the pediatrician. There were the nursing bras, pads, hydrogels, shields, pump and boppy. Then there were the intangible costs–my daughter’s failure to thrive on exclusive nursing (she barely regained her birth weight by two weeks, and only because we began supplementing with EBM and formula), the latch-on pain that made my toes curl, the all-day crying jags when the meaner of the two consultants made me fear for my daughter’s life, the delayed bonding with my daughter because of all the fear and guilt, and the awful strain it caused in my marriage.

Seriously, for us, formula is magic. Formula is what made life livable again. And frankly… I don’t think enough new mothers are told that it’s really okay to give up breastfeeding. Their babies will not be mentally retarded asthmatic cripples because of it. They’re not lesser women or failures as mothers because of it. No one will tell you–until you’ve done it and are feeling horrible about it–that if breastfeeding isn’t working for you, you should switch to formula and not give it a second thought.

Sigh. I’m obviously not as “over” that issue as I thought I was. But seriously. I have four friends who are MDs (two are pediatricians) and not a single one gives a rat’s ass whether babies get formula or breastmilk. It was great that breastfeeding was brought back into our culture, but now we need to get over ourselves.

18

We used the fancy bottles for the first three months since it kept my son from gulping his food down and in my mind kept him less fussy. After the third month we switched to the cheaper evenflo glass bottles although we kept using the Dr. Brown’s nipples. I really liked the glass bottles because I could put them in the lower rack of the Dishwasher with no worries or regrets and really get them clean.

19

What a sweetie!

Honestly, which hurt more- the breastfeeding or the c-section recovery?

For me, it was the breastfeeding, but thankfully that got better. If that pain had persisted I probably would have given up too. Anyone who says it only hurts if you’re doing it wrong is telling porkies.

Sounds like you’re doing a great job. IMO being responsive, flexible and pragmatic is the essence of good parenting, and you have that down.

20

Breastfeeding hurt WAY more! After the first couple days of burny-ouchy when nurses made me get out of bed, the c-section didn’t feel any worse than being 35+ weeks pregnant had. Nursing, on the other hand, felt like razor blades… and just lactating kept me so sore I could barely wear a bra. Even when I was only pumping it still hurt.