Prompted by an IM from a mom of a babe the same age as mine, and congratulations to a pregnant Doper.
The good: my 8 month old flips through her picture books and pretends to read “Bah ba ba ba” with changing tones, cadence, and inflection. Either she’s pretending to read, or making fun of me. Adorable. Plus: sloppy wet cheek kisses on demand.
The bad: teething. Wow, how is this nursing mom going to make it to 12 months? She has the bite strength of a bull dog and sharp, serrated teeth. She’s so mean to me! Samantha is 8 1/2 months, and the top four teeth have been burrowing through the last ten days. Misery for everyone: disrupted sleep, food strikes, bad diapers, crankiness, and she’s bitten my nipples so badly I’m working towards weaning now rather than later. It’s hard to love someone who is pushing you away, whining, scratching, biting, kicking, and performing all the physical actions we’d call anger and aggression in an adult. Then I remember that Sam holds me 100% responsible for warmth, nourishment, dry diapers, security, affection, transportation, and hanging the moon. So she probably thinks I’m just as responsible for her pain and discomfort, too, and my heart breaks. These little helpless, confused creatures depend on us for everything, and forgive us for everything, too. Nothing in the world like this moment in our lives: being a small god to a helpless creature. I love her so much.
The good news is that the rest of her incisors, first molars, and canines will come in fast… and then you’ll probably have a very long break before second molars come in. Mimi hasn’t gotten a new tooth since August, hooray! The teachers at her play school say that second molars typically come in around 26 or 27 months.
But you made it all the way to 8 months with nursing! Wow! Give yourself a break, 8 months is awesome!
My own nursing success story (my daughter) went six months exclusively nursing, and we started phasing it out as the teeth started coming in. She was totally done with it, drinking from a cup, at 10 months. Also, I gave her cow milk before she was a year, and I’m not even slightly apologetic about it!
Don’t feel like you’ve got to attain some specific calender date to have done a proper job at nursing. Let the baby take the lead, and figure out something that works for you guys. You’re doing great!
I’ll out myself as the mom who IMed the OP. At one point she said something about empathy towards babies that has stuck with me for months. The last couple days have been hard-core around here and her words really have helped me a lot.
I’ve been getting bitten too- nowhere near as badly as it sounds like you have, Troppus. Simone is 9 months and we’ve been having such a rough time, maybe the last 10 days. The main problem for me is cabin fever- I feel like if we could go for a walk for an hour I’d feel refreshed and more like I was taking care of myself as well as my little babyfriend. The baby storytime, ECFE class, and visiting with friends is not enough- I need to be outside.
Compounding not feeling like I have a chance to do any self-care is some kind of crazy something going on with her. She doesn’t want to nap, she doesn’t want me to do anything that’s not focused on her, she’s irritable when she’s crawling all over me and irritable if I set her down and walk away. The days start great and she gets crabbier and crabbier as she gets more and more sleepy, napping twice for 45 minutes if I’m lucky. The last 2 days I’ve been putting a cartoon on Netflix Instant around 4 PM, more for me than her. Both our noses are pressed to the window by 5:30 looking for my husband. I keep telling myself, one more month of this weather! By March the sidewalks should be clear enough for regular walks.
I downloaded a chapter of The Wonder Weeks on my kindle, the chapter that seemed relevant to where Simone is. I wish I’d bought the whole thing when she was first born. If nothing else it is just a reminder of all the huge changes going on inside our amazing little babies, and that empathy is the best response. It’s not always easy, but it’s easier than getting angry at someone who’s just doing her job, being a baby, becoming a person.
Whew, thanks, no other moms around me went past 6 weeks, and it’s been a learning experience for sure. First four months had an oversupply problem which was most likely my fault as every single time she complained I popped a boob in her mouth. Too much stimulation= too much milk and we both suffered needlessly.
Did you use formula at all or go right to solids and milk? Sam is doing great with yogurt and smooth baby foods. Refuses juice so far, but drinks water with meals. Maybe I should try milk instead?
For me, we made it to 5 1/2 months of breastfeeding before Kiddo ended up in the hospital for a week and that was the end of breastfeeding. I am not apologetic to the the people who chided me that I should have been pumping and keeping up my supply, etc while he was in the hospital. It was just what happened. My son had formula after that, until he was around 10 mos when we switched to whole cows milk. And like Sarabellum’s wee one, he was drinking from a cup well before a year.
I never gave my son juice, not even once. I just didn’t see a need for it. It might be natural, but it’s still sugar water. He got water or milk.
My wife was an awesome breastfeeding supertrooper. My daughter (God bless her) would absolutely refuse anything but the boob for her first year. Yes, first year. She would refuse a bottle, eye dropper, spoon, ladle, sippy cup, funnel, anything else, and absolutely perplexed our daycare provider when my wife had to go back to work. The provider has been in the business for over 20 years and this was the first time she ever saw that happen. My daughter would eat very little during the day and then hook up to my wife endlessly at the end of the day and through the night. My wife, who would be bursting, also got to deal with coworkers who said stuff like “Your baby drinks breast milk? Eww, keep that away from me. Don’t put that in the refrigerator next to my lunch.” My wife breastfed her for about 26 months total with the girl and about 24 months with the boy (and even donated some of her milk), though he was a LOT better and took to a bottle right away.
I fully admit that I had difficulty with our daughter when she was a baby and the majority of it was that I felt helpless because I couldn’t do anything. My wife would try to leave for an hour and the baby would start crying and I couldn’t do anything. I was much better at handling the boy and even took off 3 months for manternity leave when he was 5 - 7 months old. He wanted the milk, but he was also ready for solid stuff pretty early as well, so that was better for non-lactating dad to take care of.
Also, I know I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again. Our dog loved the soiled diapers. It took us by surprise the first time we saw that Scotchie got into the diapers, but she loved that butt butter. Keep those diapers sealed, closed, and thrown away.
My son was a very early talker. At about 9 months old he was nursing when he suddenly sat up in his mother’s lap, said “Cup”, and never attempted to nurse again.
I think my husband would really relate to this. I hope with our next baby- if I can convince him to have one- the baby bonds with him a little more. My baby was so attached to me from the beginning, and it’s only within the last month that she’ll tolerate anyone else for more than a few minutes.
I felt kind of guilty about it- like it was something I was doing. A lot of stuff I did could be considered attachment parenting, but I always felt like I was following her lead. Ah, the endless guilt.
The other day our dog pulled a poopy diaper out of the trash and dug in. When I caught her I yelled, “Your poop eating is going to kill you because I WILL KILL YOU!” and my husband laughed for about 10 minutes. Sigh. Dogs, so cute and so gross at the same time.
Great to hear from a Dad! And high five the wife, because that’s an awesome feat of mammary productiveness. Hand-offs are difficult around here, too, because I usually hand off a happy baby and the return baby is fussing and complaining. So that… is tiring. But I realize it’s because I have the magic boobs, and not because Dad is lazy or helpless. And when things are really bad, Dad takes over so I can hide in the tub for 30 minutes with the stereo jamming. I liked baths before the baby, but now I like them as much as I like a margarita.
I’m an Outside Person too, Zjestika, and the last year has been trying. I can’t wait until she’s walking so we can ramble about together. Hopefully someone will tell me what to do about the risk of bee stings before summer comes.
That book looks great, thanks for linking! I don’t have any advice for the constant fussiness. As my mom says, if she’s eating and pooping, there’s not a lot you can do to interfere in the baby’s agenda. Could be tummy troubles, could be disrupted sleep, could be teeth, could be a butterfly flapping its wings in Madagascar. Mysterious little blobs of fat and giggles, aren’t they? Hugs to you until this passes. Maybe you can sneak in a hot bath this evening?
For what it’s worth, Dr. Spock pinpoints 10 months as an age a which babies can start being taught to occupy themselves, even if they don’t like the idea at first. Spock recommends making a big to-do about household chores you have to get done, leaving the baby in a safe, central place with toys and books while you do them. In my experience he’s right that they’re more likely to put up with it if you appear to be legitimately busy.
Oh, god, baths. Best thing ever. When I’m blue sometimes I shop for bath stuff online. I have to stop myself- I have enough bubble bath, bath bombs, salts and scrubs to last a month of baths every night. Ask me how often I actually get a bath…
Today was a great day actually, helped in part by this comraderie. And it was 27 degrees and sunny, so we got a walk, first one in 3 weeks. We walked to the bakery and I bought a damn coffee cake, then we came home and had high tea- cake for me, puffs for her. I feel so much better. And she does too- she’s playing happily.
Also, I have a copy of The Wonder Weeks that I’ll mail to anybody who wants it. In a nutshell it says “they’re frustrated for a while, then they chill out. Repeat.”
I haven’t read The Wonder Weeks, but from a step or two further down the road (my kid is three and a half) I totally agree. Every now and then they turn into nightmares for a few days: grumble whine complain, everything sucks, I hate that and that and that. It’s like having a very small bratty teenager. Then they go back to their normal selves. I promise.
Question for everyone: what’s the one most important thing you’ll do differently, or did differently, on Baby 2?
Our second is due at the end of April, so I’ve been thinking about that and asking people I know. Mine is: this time I’m going to learn to breastfeed lying down. Widget never got the hang of it and I didn’t try very hard to get her to learn, so for the night feeds I was sitting up, falling asleep drooping over her, and I was terminally sleep-deprived for months. Friends who learned to breastfeed lying down just slept through the night feeds and were a whole lot perkier.
If this is an omnibus parenting thing, I can contribute. I’m having a meta-parenting day.
Littlest Miss is slowly being weaned at almost a year. Today, however, she vomited for the first and second time in her entire adorable little life, so we nursed during the day (lately nursing has been a bedtime event only, but… Needs must.)
Second-smallest will be 3 in April. Exact transcript of a typical conversation: “I’m hungry.” “Honey, you have a sandwich IN YOUR HAND. If you’re hungry, eat it.” “But I’m so. Hungry.” “So eat your sandwich. And don’t talk with your mouth full.” “Fine. Be that way.”
The 12-year-old just left with a group of girlfriends for her first middle school dance. Wearing a strapless dress. Which she has the bosom to wear. Those things grew overnight, I swear!
I’m going tomorrow to buy a truck for Boy #2.
Boy 1.0 is in the process of moving closer to his job. I just dropped a card in the mail for his 22nd birthday, along with a few dollars to help with the move.
And I’m getting my mother’s engagement ring sized for Girl #1, so that her fiance can surprise her for Valentine’s Day.
It seems like all of them should still be out climbing trees and building forts. That sounds like the stupidest cliche ever until you reach this point…
BTW, all of mine went straight from nursing to cow’s milk, between the ages of 10 and 14 months. They’re fine. Littlest is sick from a virus, not from evil bovine juice. Do what works for you.
Wow, Lacunae Matata, that’s quite a range of ages! Mom’s best friend has seven ranging from 25-48, and her house is always full, fun, and loud. And there’s always a baby to snuggle. Seems like so much fun, wish I’d started twenty years sooner. Got any weaning advice? Or did you let yours lead?
Great thread. Ethan is 4 weeks old today. The first 2-3 weeks were so hard, I was wondering wtf I had done. Getting a little better. I’ll definitely check out Wonder Weeks.
